Free Fall at Angel Creek, page 17
She climbed into bed, turned off the light, and tried to sleep, but Dee wouldn’t let her. As soon as she closed her eyes, she felt Dee’s sensuous kisses on her lips, her hands squeezing her bottom, and Dee’s fingertips teasing her breasts. She briefly contemplated touching herself but stopped. With Dee in the next room, such an act somehow seemed disrespectful to her. She tried to ignore her throbbing center and punched the pillow. I deserve to suffer.
* * *
Day 8
After a fitful night of hoping Dee would climb into bed with her, River woke up tired and disappointed, mainly in herself. The sound of running water meant Dee was already up and in the shower. She went to the living room to make herself coffee and noticed something blue in the wastepaper basket. It was Dee’s bathing-suit top from their swim last night, discarded in the trash. Apparently, Dee didn’t care to keep any memento of their first kiss. Could things get any more awkward?
The water shut off, and Dee came out of the bathroom wearing a towel. “Oh, hi. The bathroom’s all yours.” She quickly retreated into her room and closed the door.
River answered her own question, and no, it could not possibly get more awkward between them. She took a quick shower, dressed, and returned to the living room to see Dee on the phone.
“How is this my fault? I simply asked for a favor. I need to get this straightened out. I’ll call you back. Thanks, Marcus.”
She turned to River. “Have you heard anything about a problem with the maintenance records from China? It sounds like there may be an issue with them.”
“I haven’t heard anything, but I was just about to call in for a status check.”
She dialed the accident investigation headquarters. “This is Dr. Dawson. Can you transfer me to maintenance records? Thanks.”
While she waited, she looked at Dee, who appeared closed off, like her shield was firmly in place.
“Have you guys gotten the rest of the records? What do you mean, they’re not cooperating? Did you tell them we can get a federal subpoena for them? Let me speak to Ronald Moore. Yes. I’ll stand by.”
She looked at Dee, whose expression was all business, the moment of happiness from last night gone. “Do you know what’s going on, Dee?”
“When you’re done, I’ll tell you what my partner said.”
River returned to her call. “Really? That’s very strange. Yes. I can get there in about three hours. I’ll let you know what we find out.”
“So what did Ronald Moore say?” Dee asked.
“This is one of the more bizarre things I’ve ever heard of. The Chinese government is upset that we’re demanding the records from their aircraft-overhaul facility. They claim they supplied all known records, plus all their modification records, to the company in Kenya that paid to have the plane converted from a freighter to a passenger jet. The company in Kenya has certified letters stating that all records were included in the sale of the aircraft to Relax Air two years ago. And now, Relax Air claims they don’t have them. The FBI in Las Vegas is serving them a subpoena for the records today. Ronald wants us to go to their company headquarters in Las Vegas to make sure we get them back. What does your partner know about this?”
“Essentially the same about the Chinese government. Marcus told me they’re upset because the request came through my friend in the consulate’s office, and not through their normal protocol. He also told me the hotshot CEO of Relax Air, Lorenzo Franklin, has some very questionable business associates. Marcus thinks money is funneling to them from international crime bosses, namely Russians.”
“Russians can’t own a US airline,” River said.
“Exactly. That’s why even though Relax Air is a US company, it’s controlled by an international holding company in Turkey, which is a subsidiary of another company in Africa. It’s a big shell game designed to be difficult to track, in order to hide the money.”
“Well, this should be an interesting trip to Las Vegas.”
* * *
River had decided to drive the ninety miles from Tucson to Phoenix because they could find more flights to Las Vegas from there. It was difficult for Dee to sit next to her in the car, knowing she couldn’t reach over and hold River’s hand. In fact, after everything that had happened between them last night, it was closer to torture. She still felt hurt and rejected.
Ordinarily, if a woman rebuffed her, she was able to shrug it off, not that she hit on women that frequently. But she couldn’t dismiss River so easily. She’d showed Dee a side of herself that was a surprise, a vulnerable, tender, and very passionate side. During the time they were making out in the pool, she’d sensed that something broke, a dam of restraint and control that she rarely let go of.
When River had trusted her in the pool, she’d felt honored. She’d also been overwhelmed with desire when she realized River wanted her too. Thinking about the electricity that flowed between them when she’d kissed River aroused her all over again, and when River had pulled her close with her knees, she was done for. Dee couldn’t go there, especially after River was so firm with her that no romantic entanglements were possible.
She couldn’t be mad at River. Dee understood she was attempting to keep their relationship professional, but she still didn’t have to like it. Maybe River was right, and they shouldn’t explore the possibility of anything romantic. As the survivor of a plane crash, she knew what she was talking about, but Dee certainly didn’t like anyone telling her they knew what was best for her. That brought back bad memories of her father doing the same thing.
“You’re very quiet this morning,” River commented.
Dee formulated her response carefully. “Look. I’m sorry about last night. I misunderstood and pushed you to take things further, but I don’t want there to be any awkwardness between us. I can assure you, it will not happen again. You’re probably right. Getting involved in the middle of an investigation is a bad idea. I suppose I should be glad at least one of us kept her head. Let’s just forget it happened and move on.”
“Okay, and thanks for understanding. You’re right about one thing. I don’t know anything about you, except that you’re an army vet and a cop, but I would like to know more. Did you always want to go into the army?”
Dee laughed out loud. “Hell, no. It never even crossed my mind until my high school principal suggested I enlist.”
“Will you tell me about that?”
“It’s a long, boring story, but I will, if you insist. When I was eighteen, my father kicked out of my home for being a lesbian.”
The fear and shame crept up on her like an old ghost as she retold her story. She hated remembering anything about him, or about that awful night.
“Why did he kick you out for being gay?”
“It was my eighteenth birthday, the youth group at church had a cake for me, and my friend, Mary Ellen, wanted to give me a birthday kiss. We went behind the church building, and it was definitely a mind-blowing kiss, which turned into several, and my father walked up on us. Because he was a fundamentalist Baptist preacher, he told me, ‘You are a disobedient sinner and an abomination. You’re a bad influence on Naomi, and you’re no longer a part of this family. You have to leave, and don’t come back.’”
Dee almost choked on his words as she spat them out.
“Oh, my gosh. What did you do?”
“I had one friend during that terrible time, my high school principal and tennis coach, Dr. Catherine Wilkinson. She and her partner, Gretchen, had a small cattle ranch outside Killeen, Texas, where I grew up, and they let me stay for free in their garage apartment. Otherwise, I’d have had to sleep in my car, my trusty Ford Pinto.” I wonder how she and Gretchen are doing? I need to call them and tell them about Naomi.
“That sounds like quite a risk for a school principal to take. Why’d they let you stay at their house?”
“Because no one else would help me. Everyone in town was afraid of my father. He would stand on an actual soapbox in front of the county courthouse and publicly call out people in town, naming their sins, such as adultery, sloth, or greed, and telling them to repent. I was allowed to have friends only at church, and he made sure everyone shunned me. My principal, Dr. Wilkinson, wasn’t afraid of him because she’d already had battles with him over textbooks and other stuff. So Doc and Gretchen took me in, or I would have been just another homeless gay teenager living on the streets.”
“That’s awful, Dee.”
Remembering Doc and Gretchen, and their happy home, made her smile. “When I showed up on their front porch sixteen years ago, I was a hot mess. Doc and Gretchen took care of me and told me I wasn’t a worthless piece of shit. They gave me a safe haven when I really needed it. One day, out of the blue, Doc asked me, “Have you ever thought about the army?” I remember I laughed so hard, Coke came out of my nose, and I made quite a mess.”
River laughed at her description.
“I think at the time I said, ‘No, that was one of the many subjects Daddy didn’t let us talk about.’ But then the lightbulb went off when Doc said these magic words, ‘You’ve got enough credits to graduate with your high school diploma, and you just turned eighteen, so you don’t need your parents’ permission to enlist.’
“Doc knew I wanted to go to college to study medicine, but that was impossible after I got kicked out. She told me the army would pay for college classes I could take in my off-duty time, and I could work toward my bachelor’s degree. She signed me up for the next entrance test and took me to talk to an army recruiter. The recruiter really liked my test scores and told me I was qualified for any military specialty. The idea of protecting my fellow soldiers appealed to me, so I chose military police, and that’s how I ended up in the army. That’s when my life went from lost to found.”
“So if you’d never considered military service, how’d you like the army?”
“The training was difficult, but I took to it like a duck to water. I adapted well to the discipline of army life. They kept me busy, and things were very simple. Every minute of our day was scheduled, and I just had to follow orders, be where I was supposed to be, help out my squad, and wear my uniform correctly. The structure of my life in the army was predictable, it gave me something to hold on to, and it was such a relief from the chaos back home.”
“What’d you think of your training?”
“I liked learning about law enforcement and force protection, but I really loved weapons training. I scored well on my marksmanship tests and I especially liked defensive tactics. I got real good with close hand-to-hand combat and mixed martial arts. They sent me on my first deployment to the desert six months after I completed my MP certification.”
“What’d you think about being deployed to the Sandbox?”
“It was dangerous, difficult, dirty, but also exciting. We worked our asses off. I learned a lot, and that’s when I met my first real girlfriend, Marci, an air force air traffic controller.”
“Well, at least you had the good taste to get involved with an air force woman. So what happened to Marci?”
“Turns out, I was just a wartime romance, and she already had a partner waiting for her back at her home base. It was a ‘TDY-rules-apply’ situation for her.”
“I remember that from our overseas KC-10 trips. I’d never heard the term ‘temporary duty rules’ before, but then the guys in my squadron would take off their wedding rings as soon as we’d land in some foreign country, and some of them would screw anything. This one guy, a real hound dog, was married to a woman pilot in our squadron. He would screw around behind her back, and all the guys kept quiet about it. I thought it was gross.”
“Yeah. There were plenty of guys in the army like that too.”
“It sounds like you really liked the army. Why’d you get out?”
“Because I couldn’t do what they ordered me to do.”
“What do you mean?”
Dee grew quiet remembering the bitter decision she’d been forced to make ten years ago, a decision that had changed her life. River seemed genuinely interested, so she continued.
“I loved the service and was doing really well. I took college classes, got my bachelor’s degree in criminal justice, graduated from US Army Officer Candidate School, and was number one in my class at Advanced Investigation School. I was a second lieutenant, I was doing important, interesting work, I had money to spare, and my life was great, until my boss assigned me to investigate a soldier accused of homosexuality. I knew this guy and we were friends, but I couldn’t rat him out to the army just so they could take away his career and ruin his life. He was a good soldier, and they tried to give him a dishonorable discharge.”
“I’m sorry you had to do that. The air force had witch hunts too when I was in. I came very close to getting outed. So what’d you tell your boss?”
“First of all, I informed Michael, my friend, that he was under investigation. Then I told him what not to do and what to say when he got interrogated. I filed my report, with no evidence of any misconduct, and they left Michael alone. After that, I knew I couldn’t hide who I was while at the same time prosecuting my fellow soldiers for being gay. So I stayed on the down-low until my time was up, got out, became a civilian cop, and moved to Portland.”
“Do you ever miss it?”
“Only a little. I loved the army, and it probably saved me, but I couldn’t lie about who I was anymore. I’m happy I’m free now.”
Chapter Twenty-three
River could identify with much of what Dee said about the army because of her own time in the air force. She’d learned the necessity of hiding her true self from her first days at the US Air Force Academy. That was the price you paid to serve your country and fly military jets, if you were a lesbian. River had reached the same conclusion as Dee about one thing: lying about yourself damages your soul. Even though River had been medically discharged from the air force, she would’ve faced the same difficult decision as Dee did if she’d been able to stay.
“Thank you for telling me about your time in the army. It’s too bad you weren’t able to continue your career on active duty. It sounds like you were doing very well. And I’m really sorry to hear about your father. I can’t comprehend why any parent would do that to their own child.”
River wanted to reach over and take Dee’s hand, but she stopped herself. She didn’t want to give Dee any mixed messages.
“You’re lucky you weren’t raised by fundamentalists. My father could take any verse from the Bible and twist it to justify his actions. Everything was very black and white in that world, and unquestioning obedience was required. I’d planned to escape from my parents by going far away to college, but that didn’t happen. Even worse than getting kicked out of my home was that my father wouldn’t let me see, or speak to, Naomi anymore.”
Dee’s voice had a catch when she mentioned Naomi.
“So you didn’t talk to her for sixteen years because of your father?”
Dee hesitated before answering. Clearly it was hard for her to talk about the subject. “Yes. Our father kept us apart because he hated me for being a lesbian. Only after he died, four weeks ago, was Naomi able to get in touch with me.”
“You mean you couldn’t call her or write her at all? That’s just cruel, to both of you.”
“Yeah. He was. I wrote to her several times but never heard back. I saw her only one time after I left home—after I’d finished basic training and went back to Killeen to see her. By then she’d started high school, so I wore my uniform and showed up at our old school. I remember I found Doc coaching the tennis team and saw Naomi from behind, hitting tennis balls against the backboard. Doc intercepted me before I could talk to her and told me I had to leave the school grounds immediately.”
“Why did she say that if she was your friend?”
“I’ll never forget what she told me that day. When I asked why, she said, “Because your father is a vengeful man. He said he’d have you arrested if you ever showed up here looking for Naomi.” She also told me my father had threatened to cause trouble for Doc and Gretchen if they helped me. So I had no choice. I turned around and left before Naomi saw me.”
River’s heart broke for both Naomi and Dee. She also felt grateful to her own father. He hadn’t been around much, but at least he’d never tried to hurt her. She didn’t care if their situation was awkward; she reached for Dee’s hand. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
“Stupidly, I thought if my father could see that I was doing well in the army as a soldier, he might not think I was an abomination anymore. I was wrong. After that visit, I realized he was so rigid in his thinking that he would never change his mind about me. After I left Killeen for the last time, Doc called me and warned me to not try to see my sister again, and she promised to look out for Naomi.” Dee removed her hand from River’s and reached into her pocket for a tissue. She turned her face away and looked out the side window.
River was miserable driving knowing she couldn’t say anything, or do anything, to help her. She didn’t have a right to. Hearing about Dee losing her family at eighteen brought back her own loss of her mother when she was thirteen. She and Dee had an intimate knowledge of each other that neither of them wanted. They both knew what it was like to walk through Hell, they knew what the pit of despair looked like, and they both knew their loss would never go away.
River wanted to curse Dee’s father, and, if he wasn’t already dead, she would’ve liked to punch him in the face for what he did to his precious daughter. She is precious to me.
River wasn’t doing very well at containing her emotions. Her eyes teared up, and she couldn’t see clearly, so she turned off the highway into a rest area. When she came to a stop and shut off the engine, she reached for Dee, and they held each other tightly until the tears passed.
