Black Light: Charmed (Black Light Series Book 15), page 16
Four days.
He could handle that. Unless everything fell apart between now and Friday… then he’d just let her go. She’d been preparing for that since he showed up at the fashion show anyway. Cassandra had the whole world waiting for her, designers and opportunities across the globe, and he’d never hold her back from that. He’d never weigh her down with his shit.
Everything going wrong right now was his problem, not hers.
She didn’t deserve to have his issues laid at her feet.
If this ship was going down, it would be solo.
Just him, with no collateral damage.
And no Cassandra.
Chapter 18
Cassandra
“Aren’t you ready yet?” Abelita asked, leaning on her doorframe, but Cassandra kept hovering her fingers over the keyboard on her phone.
She felt like she needed to text him back. To apologize for having such a packed schedule because of everyone’s Christmas vacations.
“Earth to Cassandra!” Abelita interrupted her thoughts, waving an arm obnoxiously, and she looked over at her with a sigh.
“I heard you! I’m just worried about Logan.”
“Why?” Abelita scoffed as she crossed her arms. “The man is rich as fuck and has plenty of things to entertain him that are not you. He’s probably racing his Maserati down Sunset or something.”
“I doubt that,” Cassandra replied. “He’s not like that.”
“Sure, he showed up here in clothes worth thousands of dollars because he’s secretly destitute and just wants to impress you.”
“Oh my God! Shut up!” Groaning, Cassandra lay back on the bed, still holding her phone as she tried to think.
“Okay, girl, I can see you’re actually upset about this. I’m listening.” Abelita sat down on the edge of the bed, flicking her arm softly. “Talk.”
“I don’t know, I just feel bad about not seeing him this weekend.”
“You’re seeing him on Friday,” she retorted, another layer of exasperation appearing in her voice. “Come on. Elite manages so many designers that you want to get involved with and Roberta worked her ass off to get you into this dinner. She even sent you over this sexy-as-fuck dress to wear!”
“I know,” Cassandra admitted, hearing the whine in her voice as she lifted the phone and looked at his text again.
It was too short. Too… empty.
He hadn’t even made a comment about her promise for some sexy pictures.
“You realize that the people at this dinner are, like, the people to know if you want to break into high fashion,” Abelita said, interrupting her thoughts again as she went over to the dress hanging on her closet door. “There are girls who would gladly shank you to get in there and the follow-up meetings that always happen after.”
“Thanks for the comforting commentary.”
“Hey, you love me because I’m honest with you.” Hopping back onto the end of the bed, Abelita jostled her and she sat up, glaring at her friend. “You need to get ready. You’ve got to leave in like twenty minutes, Cass.”
“I know!” she snapped, groaning again as she shifted to the edge of the bed and stared down at the phone in her hands. “Is it weird that I want to go see Logan instead?”
“Oh shit…” Abelita muttered, moving over until she was sitting beside her. “You really like this guy, don’t you?”
Cassandra shrugged a shoulder, but as she stared at the short text… Logan was all she could think about. If she were honest with herself, he’d been all she could think about for weeks.
The spark between them, the fire, was undeniable. The sex was incredible. But it was more than that… when he let his guard down around her, when he finally took a breath, he could be so damn funny, so charming. When he wasn’t watching every word that came out of his mouth, Logan was incredibly sweet. He cared with everything he had, had jumped through every hoop she’d put in his path trying to slow him down — and she didn’t even want to anymore.
The realization hit her hard. Harder than she’d even imagined when she’d thought of the worst-case scenario of dating Logan Chisholm.
She wasn’t trying to hold him at arm’s length anymore.
She definitely liked him. A lot.
And she had the distinct impression that another L-word might be hiding just behind her latest realization. It wasn’t just that she’d accepted dating Logan as a possibility, accepted that maybe they could make the long-distance bullshit work.
It was that she might actually want it to work.
“Fuck, Cass, how deep are you into this guy?” Her roommate wasn’t judging her, she could tell by the tone of her voice. Abelita never played games, it was one of the reasons she adored her so much, her blunt demeanor made everything easier… except this.
“I think I’m pretty far in,” Cassandra whispered, and Abelita wrapped an arm around her waist, hugging her from the side.
“Well, he’s head over heels for you, so… I don’t think you’re going to have much trouble there.”
“What?” Cassandra sat up straight, looking at her friend who shrugged, smiling a little.
“I got to talk to him that day when you were getting ready, and even when I put him through the ringer, he never backed down. He’s got it bad for you and seemed willing to do pretty much anything if it meant he could keep you interested.” Abelita rubbed her back. “All I’m saying is that if you want Logan, he’s going to be there on Friday. Hell, he’d probably be waiting for you if you didn’t see him again until after the New Year.”
“I don’t know…” Standing up, Cassandra started pacing, unable to put the phone down. “Maybe I should just go talk to him. I can be a little late to—”
“NO!” Abelita pushed off the bed, grabbing Cassandra by her arms. “If you blow off Elite Management you might as well kiss the idea of ever getting signed to one of their campaigns goodbye. Tonight is about your future, Cass. Trust me, Logan is going to be there tomorrow, or Friday, or whenever you’re able to see him.”
“You really think so?” Cassandra fought the urge to chew on her thumbnail as she wobbled the phone back and forth in her hand.
“Yes, I do.” Shoving her toward the dress, Abelita snapped her fingers. “Now get dressed! I’m calling you a Lyft now. Give me your phone.”
“Fuck, fine.” Handing over her phone, she went to put the dress on, trying to think of exactly how she’d tell Logan what she was feeling when they saw each other. It’s not like she had concrete words for it yet. It wasn’t quite the big L-word… but it wasn’t far from it either. He checked all her boxes, and he’d been telling her for weeks that they could make the long-distance thing work. It would just take more planning, more flying home, but it wasn’t impossible.
And Logan was worth it, she was absolutely sure of that.
The universe had aligned to bring them back together, given her the time to see who he could be in her life, and she wasn’t going to ignore it.
Chapter 19
Cassandra
She’d tried to make time to see Logan throughout the week, but nothing had worked out. Every day had seemed to last forever, and by the time she was home — she was exhausted, but he’d been understanding. Wishing her luck, telling her to rest after the long days.
Even today she’d been meeting with Roberta, and others at the agency, talking about her schedule for the new year, and the offers that were already coming in from her meeting with Elite Brand Management. None of them were final, of course. She’d still need to walk for the designers, but the company had a lot of sway for ad campaigns… and they liked her. That was what Roberta kept repeating all week.
They loved you.
You did great.
Your portfolio wow’d them.
Cassandra had even called her parents the night before to tell them about it, and she normally tried to keep their expectations lower. They were her biggest cheerleaders, and as soon as they knew about a possible next step in her career, everyone knew. Her brothers, their wives, the entire extended family and all of their friends.
But this felt real. It felt possible.
It meant more shoots, more travel, more runway shows — more success.
All of the things Logan had said she deserved, all of the things Logan wanted her to do, and he’d still said it wasn’t a problem. He’d even mocked her at Black Light for doubting his ability to problem-solve around the travel issues.
Well, now he was going to get his chance.
Tonight, was supposed to be about Vanessa, about seeing her perform the Sugar Plum Fairy in The Nutcracker, which was a major role for her friend, but Cassandra wasn’t sure she’d be able to keep the excitement in until after the ballet.
Logan wasn’t a big ballet fan though, so telling him before the show wouldn’t be stealing Vanessa’s thunder. It would probably make the night that much better, because he’d know how she felt. He’d know she wasn’t second-guessing them anymore, and then tonight they could finally spend time together, have some fun, and then figure out how to handle her ever-intensifying schedule.
Unlocking her phone, Cassandra checked her text messages first. He still hadn’t replied to her today, but he was probably trying to get as much work done before the ballet. Whatever was going on at work was clearly stressing him out, so maybe the good news would help him relax and enjoy the evening.
Smiling, she switched over to the Lyft app to check their progress toward his house. Just another few minutes and she’d be able to talk to him. In person.
She spent the rest of the ride trying out different phrases in her head. Nothing was guaranteed, and she didn’t want it to sound like some kind of weird proposal, but she needed him to know she was in this. She was willing to try dating him even when all the insane travel started again.
If only it was as easy as scrawling on a piece of notebook paper ‘will you be my boyfriend? circle one.’ School had definitely been easier with conversations like this one, but once she’d made her mind up, she was sure.
The universe had spoken pretty damn loudly. Aligned all the stars, and Logan had more than put in his fair share of effort. Now it was her turn.
“Here we are,” the driver said, and she tapped the five stars as soon as it appeared.
“Thanks! You were great!” Climbing out, she held the door for another second, smiling broadly as her excitement spread. “Have an amazing night!”
“You too,” the guy said, waving at her as she closed the door and watched him turn around in the big driveway.
Hurrying up the steps to his door, she knocked, and then froze because she could hear Logan shouting inside. If there weren’t such a chill in the air, she would have waited, but considering her legs were only covered in tights, she decided to knock again, louder.
Come on, Logan.
Leaning close to the door, Cassandra pressed her ear to the wood, catching another round of shouting. She rolled her eyes, hoping he wasn’t yelling at Laura again, and then she tried the handle. To her surprise, it opened, and she slipped inside, shutting it behind her as Logan’s voice boomed from the living room around the corner.
“How did you idiots miss these assholes talking to our clients? HOW did you fuck up this bad?”
Damn.
She’d known he was having a rough time at work, but it clearly hadn’t improved. At least she was the bearer of good news tonight, and stepping away from his job for the night would help him.
“That’s right! You’re going to research every single complaint they had and figure out how the hell to get them back!” Logan paused, and she hovered awkwardly at the edge of the wall, wondering if she should sneak out and pretend to still be outside or not. “I don’t give a fuck about your vacation. This is your vacation now! Get it done!”
Something slammed down, rattling objects, and Cassandra chewed on her bottom lip, feeling her excitement dimming in the face of his mood — but she wouldn’t let this ruin their night.
“Motherfuckers!” Logan shouted, and she snuck back to the door, opening it.
“Logan?” she called out, deciding that it would be better under the circumstances for him to think she’d missed his work drama.
But he didn’t respond to her.
Shutting the door, she walked around the corner and into the living room. He was sitting on one of his couches, laptop open on the large coffee table in front of him. His head was in his hands, fingers burrowed into his hair as he muttered under his breath.
“Hey, you okay?” she asked, and he looked up at her like it was a dumb question — which, to be fair, it kind of was. Smiling, she took a few steps closer, ignoring his attitude. “I think I have something that might cheer you up.”
“Right,” Logan groused, scooping up a glass from the table before he leaned back on the couch to drink from it.
“Come on, Logan. I know work has sucked, but we’re gonna go on our date, see Vanessa perform in the ballet, and then when we get back… I think we can come up with a few ways to distract you.” Grinning, Cassandra moved to the end of the couch, leaning on the arm to try and get his attention. “Pssst, earth to Logan?”
“I’m not in the mood, Cassandra.” Another sip, the ice rattling in the glass as he finished it, and then he leaned forward to slam it down on the table, immediately reaching for the bottle to refill it with more muttered curses.
“Okay, then tell me what’s going on.” Sitting on the arm of the couch, she wanted to reach out and hug him, comfort him, but he definitely didn’t seem open to that right now.
“It doesn’t matter,” Logan mumbled, taking another drink, and she ran her eyes over the bottle of whiskey, wondering just how far into it he was.
“Obviously it does, Logan. You’ve been upset for over a week, and I’m trying to be here to help—”
“You can’t help, okay? You can’t. Hell, the idiots I have working for me apparently don’t even know what to do!” More whiskey, another growl as he shook his head, glaring at the laptop. “Fucking idiots!”
“All right,” Cassandra said, raising her hands in defeat. “Then we won’t talk about it anymore. We’ll go to see Vanessa perform, distract you from all this shit, and just let it go for tonight.”
“No.”
“What?” Standing up, she adjusted her purse on her shoulder, waiting for him to look at her, but he wouldn’t. “Logan, you have to fucking talk to me. I came here wanting to—”
“I don’t want to talk about this shit with you!” he shouted, finally looking at her, and she crossed her arms, trying to remember that he was upset, stressed.
“Fine. Let’s just drop it and go to the ballet.”
“I’m not going to the goddamned ballet, Cassandra! Jesus Christ!” Logan huffed, polishing off another glass of whiskey in front of her. “Just go without me.”
“No.” Dropping her purse on the large coffee table, Cassandra spread her arms. “If we’re not going to the ballet, then we’re going to talk about this. Tell me what’s going on at work.”
“What would you know about issues like this? You’re a fucking model,” he sneered, leaning forward to pour more into his glass, and for a moment she couldn’t even respond. Too many emotions were at war inside her, too many to count… but anger won out.
Clenching her jaw, Cassandra straightened her back and tried to keep her voice as even as possible. “First of all, you don’t get to talk to me like that. Ever. Second, you can choose how to deal with shit like this, Logan. Bad things happen to everyone. All the time. And if all you do is focus on the bad things that happen to you, then what’s the fucking point of waking up in the morning?”
He shook his head, not even looking at her, and so she kept going.
“This is your problem, Logan! You have to start looking at the good shit. Your badass car, your nice house, the fact that you have enough money to basically do anything you want! If today sucked, if this week sucked, if this whole fucking month sucked, figure out something that will make it better that isn’t downing an entire bottle of whiskey. Stop wallowing in your bullshit and choose to see what you have!”
“You wouldn’t be saying that if you’d just lost millions of dollars,” Logan replied, and he didn’t even give her a glance. Not a single look. Not even a vague attempt at an apology.
“Well, you lost a lot more than that tonight, Logan.” Shaking her head, Cassandra scooped up her purse from the table, staring at his profile as he glared at the empty air in front of him. “You might as well lose my number too.”
Turning, she went for the door, trying to keep her steps as even as possible, because some part of her was still hoping he’d come to his senses. Run after her and apologize for being so heartless, so cruel… but she never heard him say a word, and by the time she shut the door her eyes were already burning with tears.
She fumbled with her phone, requesting a Lyft as she walked down his driveway toward the road. Her hands wouldn’t stop shaking, still running on the adrenaline that had rushed through her when he’d basically called her an idiot. The words had felt like a slap, crushing the excitement she’d shown up with just minutes before when she’d thought things would work out for them. That they’d defy the odds because the universe was on their side.
But the universe had pulled the rug out from under her feet and proceeded to kick her while she was down.
I should have trusted my instincts.
If I had… it wouldn’t hurt this much.
Chapter 20
Cassandra
“Oh my God! Why didn’t you tell me last night?” Vanessa asked, her tinny voice strained with sadness through the little speaker.
“I didn’t want to ruin your night.” Cassandra shrugged, pulling her knees up to her chest as she leaned back against her headboard, holding the phone in front of her.
