Beyond the Footlights, page 33
“Not at all,” he assured Tanner.
“Good. Because closing is June 1, and I have every intention of handing over the keys long before that.” He strode back, hauled Kilmer off the seat, and kissed him one more time.
“You be at the pub by five thirty, got that?”
“Yes, sir.” Kilmer grinned at him. “We’ll be ready.”
Tanner returned the grin. “Those country boys are not going to know what hit them.”
INDEED THE bar was in chaos halfway through the first set. Things had started out as they always did when Down Home played. Tanner crooned some classics while Rocky drummed and David riffed the plaintive rhythms on his guitar with Pam’s fiddle dancing through the melodies. David had started out great and just got better the more often they played together. Pamela hadn’t completely ditched them yet, though Vance was in contract talks with her about touring with him and his crew.
Kilmer plied his steady bass beats for them, feeling more at home with every song they got through. It stirred something in him to be onstage again, especially with Tanner at the mic. He hadn’t felt this way since the long-ago days when he and Vance had started out. It was right to be up there. This was where he belonged, he realized as he watched Tanner sing. Backing up his man, sharing the spotlight but not drenched in it, was exactly where he was meant to be.
Just as they had established the normal happy balance between music and beer drinking, Vance joined them onstage. Seats seemed to fill within minutes. A few tunes later and Len was up there with them, and they morphed from country to heavy blues.
Kilmer loved this part. The thudding basslines of the blues just did it for him. He soaked up the audience appreciation and drank in the sweet, soulful sound of Len’s voice as Len poured out the words to his newest piece that was, as far as Kilmer could hear, more country than grunge, more ballad than blues, and wholly Lenny Stevens.
Burn away the rain, baby.
Steam off the rooftops, the clouds of our pain
Drift.
Sunshine and dust motes
Dream through the thunderstorm
Dawns a new day
Lift.
A new voice slipped into the melody of the chorus, so faint and soft at first, even Len didn’t notice.
You’re sun in my eyes,
Dawn through my nightmare.
You’re warmth in my cold world,
Where the greener grass grows.
You’re where I began, you’ll be where I end.
Somewhere in the middle of the chorus, Len stopped singing to turn and watch as Damian crossed the stage to him, mic in hand, voice cradling Len’s words in warm, mellow tones.
Len’s eyes began to sparkle as Damian reached him.
“Trev?”
“Yeah, baby.” Damian leaned over to plant a kiss on Len’s cheek. In that moment, Trevor shone through the stage persona of Damian, and his eyes, like Len’s, glimmered under the lights.
Then it was time to sing the next verse, and they faced the audience and sang together like the song had been written for their two voices to rise over the thundering sound of applause and cheers. And maybe it had.
They ended the set in a hodgepodge of Down Home’s country, Vance’s rocking blues-themed new-album numbers, and Firefly’s heavy-hitting grunge. Kilmer had never had more fun onstage than he did watching the reunion of Firefly with their lead guitarist, and the renewal of a lifelong friendship between him and their lead singer.
“Does this mean you guys are back?” Kilmer asked Len after the set had ended and they were guzzling water backstage and trying to catch their breath.
“I don’t know. I think?” He beamed. “Maybe? It felt right, Kil. Like it hadn’t felt for a while, at the end there. Not even when we sang together just before I moved to the ranch. It felt like I was part of them again.”
“We want you back,” Beks said, stopping to hug Len. “We do. After the Europe tour, we were thinking of recording again. Maybe at the ranch?”
“Yeah?” Len grinned. “With me?”
From behind him, Trevor wrapped him up tight with both arms around his waist and set his chin on Len’s shoulder. “Yes, with you. Please. Come back?”
Len squiggled around in his embrace. “I’ve been waiting for you to be ready.”
“Ready? For what?”
“To forgive me.”
“I do. And I am ready. We can be okay again, can’t we?”
Len’s smile was radiant. “I want to. So much. I miss you.”
“All right. Break it up, you two.” Vance strode into the small room and grinned at them, and he made no move to pry the friends apart. “Is this a thing, then?” he asked, eyeing Trevor. “For real? Is Stan on board?”
Stan leaned in the doorway, arms crossed, an indulgent smile on his face. “I am. It’s time.”
“Good.” Vance turned from the two rock stars giggling like little kids in each other’s arms to Kilmer. “And what about you? You ready to admit you like it up there? Tanner’s been waiting a long time for you to accept his invitation.”
“I like it up there,” Kilmer admitted.
“So then why have you been holding back?”
He didn’t know. He glanced up at Vance’s face, into his concerned eyes. He wasn’t scared of the stage. He didn’t think Jacko would ever come back to take his place in Down Home. He didn’t worry about how it might affect his relationship with Tanner. They were too grounded for that.
“Take a chance,” Vance whispered.
It wasn’t that. Music had always been his outlet. His calm space in the vortex of Jacko’s unpredictability, his connection to Vance, his safety net. Putting that on display for strangers was an intimate thing. Did he want to share it beyond tonight? Was he that brave?
“Don’t worry about it,” Tanner whispered in his ear and startled him with an arm slipped around his waist. “You decide when you’re good and ready.”
Kilmer nodded. “I’m going to go grab a few more bottles of water. Be right back.”
Vance and Tanner let him escape out to the bar, where patrons clapped him on the back and grinned. When he’d reached the bar, Bob already had a bucket filled with ice and water bottles ready. He also handed him a crumpled envelope.
“Sorry, man. I tried to get him to wait, but he wouldn’t.”
Kilmer frowned and took the envelope. He instantly recognized Jacko’s thick scrawl.
He made his way to the back hallways and set the bucket down, then ripped the envelope open to pull the short note from inside.
Kilmer,
I saw up there what you never showed me, kid. He’s what I could never be for you. You and Tan fit. Don’t ever lose that. And that music lit you up. I’m proud. You should be too. Keep playing, keep shining.
Wish you all the best. Please tell Vance I’m good. I got more work to do, but I’m safe and sound, and getting better.
Love to you all,
Jacko.
And that was it. Kilmer glanced around the bar, but he didn’t expect to see his ex. If Jacko had wanted to talk to him in person, he would have.
Fighting against the clawing hurt in his throat, he grabbed the bucket and hurried backstage to Tanner.
“Babe?” Tanner didn’t need him to say a word. He knew from the look on Kilmer’s face something had happened. He noticed the letter, took and read it, then folded Kilmer into his arms.
“You’re okay,” he promised.
Kilmer nodded. He was teary, yes, and sad, but glad Jacko was okay, and he realized, no longer angry. Jacko had his own work to do, and that had nothing to do with Kilmer. He straightened and pushed himself off Tanner’s chest.
“There is no reason for me not to join your band,” he declared.
Tanner’s eyes narrowed. “I’d hoped you’d join because you wanted to.”
“I do.” Kilmer grinned. “Very much.”
“And not because you’re clawing after something to stay connected?”
Kilmer faced him, gazing into his eyes and keeping his attention. “Because music started out something that I shared. With Jacko it was an escape. Not a solace really. A place to hide. He didn’t so much take it from me as I learned to associate it with everything that was wrong with Jacko and me. I stopped playing because it hurt. It drove home I was there with the damn bass because I wasn’t with Jacko, and he was okay with that. I didn’t want to start up again because I didn’t want to remember that shit. I didn’t want to fix the truck because I didn’t want to drive around in the shell of his memory.
“I get why Van got me the new parts. Why we named the damn dog and renovated the house.” He smiled and cupped Tanner’s face. “I get why Len insisted I play with him the whole time Van was gone, and why you hoped I’d join you onstage. It took a little bit, but I remember what I used to love about playing, and it isn’t because of all the baggage.
“It’s because Len can write a song that is about the sun coming out after the rain, and that’s his friendship rising out of the ashes. About forgiving. About moving forward. That’s why I want to be up there with you. Because that’s my step forward. Into the sunshine.”
For a few moments, Tanner just stared at him.
“What?”
Tanner grinned. “I love you, Tex. That’s what. I just love you.” Tanner kissed him then, and nothing outside of the two of them could break them apart or intrude on Kilmer’s deep joy at being exactly where he was meant to be.
More from Jaime Samms
Off Stage: Set One
Damian Learner and his grunge band, Firefly, are on a meteoric rise to success. If they get the right break, fame awaits. Seeking more professional management, Damian independently strikes a bargain with the best agent in the business, Stanley Krane. Unable to afford the penalty for breaking old contracts, Damian agrees when Stan’s best friend, country and Western megastar Vance Ashcroft, offers to buy him out of his old contract.
Overwhelmed by a crippling loan, secretive guilt, Stanley’s expectations, and a volatile relationship with Lenny, Firefly’s lead guitarist, Damian disintegrates. Bad habits of too much sex, booze, and drugs create a rift in the band. Finally Vance, with his understanding of Dominant/submissive behavior, sees that submissives Damian and Lenny are falling into chaos, clinging to each other to try to avoid the inevitable crash.
When the pressure to perform becomes too much and the unthinkable happens, Damian and Lenny have to decide: accept that they need something they can’t get from each other, or burn out and take Firefly with them. Vance is ready to claim Lenny, but even Stan’s hesitant agreement to give Damian the direction he needs might not be enough for Damian—or the band—if he loses Lenny.
Off Stage: Set Two
Lenny Stevens was the lead guitarist of the up-and-coming grunge band Firefly until he crossed the line with the band’s lead singer. Now he’s faced with the impossible task of rebuilding his life without the music that had kept him together. Struggling with his fear and rage, he creates the same damaging patterns in his relationship with his lover, Vance Ashcroft.
Vance knows that Lenny is the submissive meant for him. He is convinced he can save Lenny from his demons and puts faith in his ability. But when Len’s temper leads to him physically hurting Vance and destroying property, both men realize Len’s issues are too big for them to work through alone.
Seeking the help of the people who know Len best, Vance invites his former bandmates to the ranch for Len’s belated birthday party. Together, they try to create a safe haven for Len to come apart and, hopefully, rearrange himself into a man who can live with his past and create a future worth having.
Beauty is only skin deep, but some marks—and what they represent—are impossible to escape.
Eric resents his comfortable college life and the restrictions his family’s expectations put on him. Dwayne, his best friend Angel’s cousin, is a pierced and tattooed ex-con trying to rebuild his life. Eric sees only the tattoos and the way Dwayne’s upbringing have dictated his future. It takes a surprising revelation from Angel to force Eric to see past Dwayne’s defenses to the generous heart beneath and to realize it’s time for him to break free of his own instilled beliefs. The men can’t keep apart, and they gradually learn that everything they thought they knew about each other might be wrong.
Opposites attract as two men from very different backgrounds move from enemies to lovers in a story of understanding, compassion, and redemption.
Dance, Love, Live: Book One
Dusty has finally landed a job he thinks he’ll be able to keep long-term, even with his broken brain and bum knee. He didn’t anticipate that cleaning a dance studio would reawaken his yearning to dance—even though he is no longer capable—or that meeting the studio’s director would rouse his dormant libido. Or his sleeping heart.
Conrad thinks his life is finally complete with his successful dance studio and a steady stream of students. When Dusty arrives, he rediscovers his thirst for a man who will let him hand over control and give him the undivided attention he’s never had. The trouble is, Dusty isn’t sure he’s worthy of the studio director’s submission.
To make their relationship work, Dusty will have to trust his ability to dominate the powerful and beautiful dancer, and Conrad will have to stop talking long enough to hear Dusty’s promises.
Dance, Love, Live: Book Two
About to lose the only thing he ever loved, Adam Pittaluga is at a crossroads in a dancing career that has hardly begun. He has always wanted to be a ballet dancer, but now that it’s impossible, he turns to Peridot for comfort. Peridot has been rebuilding his life after losing his ability to dance professionally, his marriage, and very nearly his daughter. He has a lot of reasons to be leery of starting something new, especially with a man as young as Adam.
Adam and Peridot have to believe that starting again can lead to love and success and that sometimes, the strength needed to love like you’ve never been hurt can be borrowed from unexpected places for a while. But ultimately, they must find it inside themselves to be each other’s happy ending.
Readers love the Off Stage series by Jaime Samms
Off Stage: Right
“Once again, Jamie Samms has delivered a powerful and touching story. It captures you from the beginning, holds you tight and does not let go.”
—Top 2 Bottom Reviews
“I’d recommend this book to all Jaime’s current fans, and to new readers who enjoy their romances on the more realistic, challenging side, but also still enjoy a happy ending. Thanks, Jaime, for the thought-provoking, realistic, and extremely emotional tale.”
—Rainbow Book Reviews
Off Stage: In the Wings
“…I am always looking for the one that has something a bit different or a bit special, a book that touches me and leaves me wanting more immediately. This was one of those books.”
—Prism Book Alliance
“I was taken with this book from the moment that I opened my Kindle.”
—Love Bytes
JAIME SAMMS has been published since the fall of 2008, although she’s been writing for herself far longer. Often asked what’s so fascinating about stories where men fall in love with other men, she’s never come up with a clear answer. Just that these are the stories that she loves to read, so it seemed to make sense if she was going to write, they would also be the stories she wrote.
These days, you can find plenty of free reading on her website in addition to her stories scattered across several publishers.
Spare time—when it can be found rolled into a ball at the back of the dryer or cavorting with the dust bunnies in the corners—she’s probably spending time crocheting, drawing, gardening (weather permitting, of course, since she is Canadian!), or watching movies. She has a day job, as well, which she loves, and two kids, but thankfully, also a wonderful husband who keeps her fed and caffeinated.
She graduated some time ago from college with a Fine Arts diploma and a major in textile arts, which basically qualifies her to draw pictures and create things with string and fabric. One always needs an official slip of paper to fall back on, after all….
Website: jaime-samms.com
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By Jaime Samms
Better
Bound to Fall
The Foster Family
Grand Adventures (Dreamspinner Anthology)
My Rugby-playing Twink
New Linen
Not As Easy As It Looks
Patchwork Heaven
Paying the Piper
Permanent Ink
Renegade
Scars on His Heart
Stained Glass
Still Life
Wishing on a Blue Star (Dreamspinner Anthology)
DANCE, LOVE, LIVE
Like No One is Watching
Like You’ve Never Been Hurt
Like Heaven on Earth
Dance, Love, Live (Print Only Anthology)
OFF STAGE
Off Stage: Right
Off Stage: In the Wings
Off Stage: Beyond the Footlights
Off Stage (Author Anthology)
WINGS OF FAITH
Angel Elegy
Angel Requiem
Published by DREAMSPINNER PRESS
www.dreamspinnerpress.com
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