Beyond the Footlights, page 12
He curled his fingers around Tanner’s biceps and held on for dear life.
And then it was over. Tanner was stepping back and Kilmer was blinking into the ugly lights of the closed bar.
“You going to make it home okay?” Tanner asked, matter-of-fact, as though he hadn’t just dangled Kilmer out over a cliff and let go. He ran his thumb along the corner of Kilmer’s mouth.
Kilmer cleared his throat and got his weight back onto his feet. “Fuck you,” he growled again and swiped at his mouth with the back of his hand. His belly quivered, and he opened his mouth, hauling in a breath like he could haul the words back too. He didn’t mean it. He didn’t know how to take it back.
Swiveling on a heel, he headed for the door.
“Hey!” Tanner called after him as Kilmer’s fingers contacted the steel crash handle of the door to freedom. “You could wait until I finish tearing down.”
Kilmer stared at him. Was that…. What was that?
“Unless you don’t want it,” Tanner conceded with a lascivious wink.
He did. And he didn’t. “You know where I live,” Kilmer growled and pushed out into the cool air. It wasn’t exactly an invitation. But he hadn’t denied him either.
Mostly he wanted Tanner. But he didn’t know if Tanner wanted him in the way Kilmer hoped, or if he was brave enough to find out.
THE WALK home through the nippy autumn air did not cool his libido—or soften his dick—one bit. He left the front door open to allow the breeze into the stuffy house through the screen door, and stretched out on the couch, legs spread before him.
He still felt the scratch of Tanner’s beard on his skin and palmed himself. Deliberately he called up the memory of Elliot’s sweet, limber body moving against his to the rhythm of the dance music. His cock pulsed faintly, and Kilmer opened his belt and popped the buttons of his fly to ease the constriction.
Elliot had been keen, eager, just like the puppy Tanner had compared him to. Kilmer groaned in frustration as the mere thought of the older, scruffier man made the faint twitch of his cock morph to full-on throb. He pulled out his cock, wrapped fingers around himself, and tried to school his mind back to the image of Elliot’s enticing, welcoming smile, wide blue eyes, and pawing hands.
A few strokes brought him closer, but even as he licked his lips, remembering the young man’s kiss, Tanner once more bulled his way into the thought. There was no banishing the man’s hound-dog grin or hard, controlling hands on Kilmer’s body. And the kiss….
Who was he even kidding? Elliot was a sweet kid. Tanner was… not. And it wasn’t the puppy-dog affection Kilmer was going to get off on. No. It was hard-edged control. The fantasy of himself collared with stiff leather, on his hands and knees for Tanner that made his pulse thud and his cock ache for release. Not that he would ever tell Tanner any of that.
He wasn’t ashamed of his own proclivities. But Tanner was a decent guy with a decent gig. Kilmer was screwed up ten ways to Sunday. He shouldn’t inflict himself on the other man. That didn’t stop him indulging in the fantasy of taking Tanner deep into his body. Mouth, ass, he wasn’t real picky about the how of it. Just the domination of the other man taking what he wanted, long hair falling in Kilmer’s face, trailing across his sweat-slicked body. Enticing him to want more of its silky caress.
“Fu-uck.” He humped into his own fist and groaned, moving faster until the friction of his dry palm against his dick was almost too much. He reached, stretching for a release that never quite came.
“Hello?” A sharp knock and the creak of his screen door had him bolt upright, his dick smashed protectively under his hand as he scrambled for the jeans he’d shoved around his ankles.
“Kilmer?”
He broke into a cold sweat when he heard Tanner’s voice in the kitchen. Suddenly frozen in shock, he didn’t even think to pull up the jeans. Why hadn’t he closed the main door?
Footsteps made the floorboards in the kitchen squeak, and then Tanner appeared in the counter opening between the rooms.
“Well.” There was a decided grin in Tanner’s voice, and it was enough to spur Kilmer into action.
He grabbed a couch cushion and slammed it over his crotch. “What the ever-lovin’ fuck are you doing in my house? Fucking Christ!”
Tanner stepped over the remnants of the wall. His gaze took in every aspect of Kilmer’s debauched activities. “Good thing I put the dog in the backyard before I came inside.”
“Are you fucking serious right now?” Kilmer growled.
“Mmm.” Tanner sauntered closer, his hand going to his own crotch to palm the decidedly generous bulge there. “Was that not an invitation, Tex?”
Kilmer struggled to his feet and out of the entangling jeans, pillow still clutched to his groin. “Tanner, for fuck’s sake.” He shuffled away as Tanner stalked him until his back fetched up against the cold surface of the living room window. The view looked out toward the ravine that ended the street—and town—about thirty yards from his house. Kilmer could at least be grateful there wouldn’t likely be anyone out there to see his pale ass flattened against the glass.
“I figured,” Tanner said as he advanced, “you’d be here all alone, jacking off to one or the other of us.” He reached Kilmer and gripped the corner of the pillow. “Seems I was right.”
“What fucking business is that of yours?” Kilmer croaked, breath too short, heart racing, dick throbbing in an aching attempt to keep up with his heart rate. “You can’t—” He had to swallow as his voice cracked. “Can’t just keep walking into a man’s home and—”
“And?”
Kilmer swallowed hard but said nothing.
“Should I go?” Tanner caught his gaze and held it. He still had a grip on the pillow, but he wasn’t tugging. Wasn’t moving at all.
“No,” Kilmer croaked. “Don’t go.”
Tanner closed his mouth over Kilmer’s.
A moan bled out of Kilmer, and he sagged against the window, gripping his bottom lip between his teeth to hold in any other sound. The cool glass chilled his ass and shoulders, even through his shirt, but it didn’t matter. He clutched at Tanner, drawing him closer, and relinquished the pillow when Tanner finally gave a slight tug.
“That’s better,” Tanner whispered, backing off. He glanced down at Kilmer’s raging erection and smiled wolfishly. “You mind?” he asked, motioning to it.
Kilmer stared, unsure what there was to mind about the fact Tanner was dropping to his knees and taking Kilmer’s cock into a tight grip. Oh yeah. Invasion of priv—ohholyfuck.
Slick, wet heat engulfed him, sucked hard, and then pulled off and was gone.
Kilmer’s head swam and his eyes crossed, but eventually he managed to glare down at Tanner, who was idly running fingers over Kilmer’s dick and balls, waiting for him to focus.
Tanner was watching him. “You can say no, can’t you?”
Kilmer swallowed. “N-no.”
Tanner sat back on his heels, removing all touch from Kilmer’s body. “No?”
“Fuck, yes!” Kilmer thrust his hips forward and gripped the back of Tanner’s head. “Yes, goddammit. Don’t stop now.” Heat flushed up into his face. He clamped his jaw, pulled his hands away from Tanner, and was about to apologize when Tanner grinned up at him.
“I see,” he whispered, with no real explanation of what he saw. Then he wrapped hand and lips around Kilmer’s straining erection and Kilmer stopped worrying about what Tanner might be thinking.
The orgasm that had eluded Kilmer earlier surged to the surface within seconds. He was going to make an embarrassingly short show of it. “Tan—oh!” He bit back more cries but couldn’t stop the desperate whisper that snuck out a moment later. “Fuck! Tanner!” He tried to pull back, and Tanner released him from his mouth, but he clamped his fingers tight around the base of Kilmer’s cock, painfully denying him. When he looked up, his eyes glittered.
Kilmer sucked in a breath and held it.
“I’m going to let you go now,” Tanner said softly.
Kilmer whimpered.
Tanner leaned close again, licked him from root to tip, and once more settled back on his heels to look up at him. “Just wait.”
It wasn’t exactly a command. Tanner didn’t have that kind of power over Kilmer, but he definitely spoke with the expectation of being obeyed.
Kilmer let his head drop back to thunk against the window.
“Fuck,” he whispered again.
Tanner let him go and Kilmer squeezed his eyes shut, aching at the loss of touch. His fingers scrabbled against the glass behind him, searching for stability, something to hold on to, and finding only the cold, unyielding surface. He didn’t look to see what the rustling was about as Tanner moved, but then there was warmth pressed to his entire body, an arm snaked around his waist, and a hand wrapped once more around his dick, enclosing it with Tanner’s in a tight fist.
“Unpf!” Tanner made it so hard not to be constantly crying out. The shock of the all-over warmth and skin contact made him shudder. Their thighs rubbed, the crisp abrasion of hair against his legs an additional delicious sensation.
Tanner nibbled at his neck, whispered soothing words into his hair, and the cascade of Tanner’s long locks brushed against his arm and his ribs where his shirt had been rucked up. The scent of shampoo and sweat wafted around him, entangling his good sense in a fragrant net of need. He gasped and shuddered.
“I got you,” Tanner said. “Just relax.”
Kilmer tried. He leaned a little into Tanner’s warmth, bending to rest his forehead against his shoulder. After a moment he moved a hand to touch Tanner’s side, laying gentle fingers against the soft cotton of his T-shirt.
“That’s it,” Tanner cooed. “Touch me. Skin. I want to feel—ah.” He let out a sigh as Kilmer moved the shirt and found skin. “Yesss.” He drew the word out in a satisfied hiss and began to stroke.
His motion was too fast. Too tight. Too rough. Kilmer jerked his hips away. But Tanner only stilled. He didn’t let go.
“Show me, then,” Tanner said softly. “Show me what you like.”
Kilmer hesitated, needing to see his face, but when he lifted his head, Tanner was busy peppering kisses over Kilmer’s shoulder, giving him nothing. Kilmer lifted his free hand from the window and laid it gingerly over Tanner’s.
Tanner hissed. “Cold.”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be.” Tanner’s lips moved along Kilmer’s neck as he spoke, alternating words of encouragement with soft kisses. He lifted Kilmer’s hand and sucked each finger into his mouth, rolled his tongue around them, warming and wetting them, then returned the hand to their dicks.
“Ready?” he asked, and Kilmer nodded because somewhere around the third finger, he’d forgotten most of the English language.
“Good.”
Tanner moved their hands again, more slowly this time, following Kilmer’s lead, before he increased the speed and pressure until both their cocks were slippery with precome and Kilmer lost some of his motor function, once again too close to the edge for coherent thought. His hand fell away and Tanner continued on his own, stroking and twisting, and thrust against Kilmer until he was once more crushed against the glass, now warmed a bit by body heat.
“Come on,” Tanner encouraged. “Close? I need to hear something.”
“God, yes,” Kilmer groaned, words little more than breath. “So g… almost…. Sh…. Ah!”
The orgasm he’d been reaching for so desperately hit him hard, rushing up through the slow burn to set him ablaze. His head thrashed back against the glass and his hips shot forward as his come surged out over Tanner’s fist and onto his stomach.
Tanner’s other hand, now at the back of Kilmer’s neck, tightened, and an instant later he was coming, leaning into Kilmer, pinning him, rutting, and growling, as he pressed Kilmer, helpless, against the glass.
“Oh Jesus.” Tanner eased off after a second and drew Kilmer’s head down onto his shoulder. “Fuck.”
Kilmer made a noise, maybe of agreement, low in his throat. His legs were weak and his back ached. He didn’t know where to look or what to say. The whole thing had snuck up on him, slamming into him when he’d been looking the other way. Now he struggled out of Tanner’s grip and pushed himself free of the man’s heat and weight to stand in the center of his living room, shaking and disheveled and stunned.
Tanner faced him, pants around his ankles, hands up in front of himself. “I—”
“Sh.” Kilmer held up a hand, palm out, and placed a finger from the other over his lips. “Just—” He glanced around, found nothing but the damn pillow to cover himself, and snatched it up.
Tanner eased his pants up and carefully tucked himself inside. “I should not have—”
“Shut. Up.” Kilmer motioned with his hand again. “Just. Shh.” He rubbed at the back of his neck and glanced around, half expecting Jacko to materialize from the shadows, reprimand him for so openly expressing his pleasure taken from—well. It had been mutual after all. Not a sub stealing moments of attention from his Dom for his own pleasure. Of course no such appearance happened, and Kilmer drew in a shaking breath. “Fuck me.”
Tanner made a strangled sound, and Kilmer couldn’t help the half-hysterical laugh. “No. Not… that. Just—” He sighed. “Fuck the hell out of me.” He looked up to meet Tanner’s gaze. “Why the hell not, right?”
Tanner looked slightly confused, but he hadn’t fled yet.
“Why the hell not? Why shouldn’t I have some damn fun. Who’s going to say no?” Kilmer grinned, letting the lightness of realization wash over him. He was free. He could do whatever the hell he pleased. He had a sudden urge to grab that crowbar again and start swinging, not because he was angry this time, but just because he could. He looked again at Tanner and quashed the thought.
“I’m fine,” he assured his… lover? Was that what they were? “Really. I’m good. That”—he gestured at Tanner—“was good.” His grin grew as he found authenticity in the realization that for once in forever, he’d just had sex that had been good for him and, he hoped, for his partner. “That was good!”
Tanner’s answering chuckle held a faint quaver, but he nodded. “Yeah. It was.”
Still holding the pillow in front of his crotch, Kilmer headed for the master bedroom. “Come on. You should stay. In here!”
14
TANNER WATCHED Kilmer’s ass, pale in the ambient light from the front windows, as he swaggered toward the hallway. It was more than the slight bowleggedness of a born-and-bred horseman, and Tanner hadn’t noticed it before. Kilmer had a sudden lightness in his step that made Tanner’s blood roil pleasantly and sent his pulse skipping. He’d thought Kilmer was pretty from the first moment they’d met, in a morose, melancholy sort of way.
Happy Kilmer was—Tanner wasn’t sure he had a useful way to describe what joy did to his tanned features or how it lightened his blue eyes. Quickly Tanner closed the front door, let the dog in, then followed.
Kilmer called something Tanner was too distracted and faraway to hear. His voice reached from the back of the house. Tanner found him in a bedroom doorway staring, not at the large bed in pride of place under the window, but at an old chair against the wall.
The joy had leeched out of him. His shoulders were curled in and his back bowed.
“Kilmer?” Tanner placed a hand on his back, careful to keep the contact where Kilmer’s shirt insulated them from a skin-to-skin connection.
“I—” Kilmer cleared his throat.
“What is it?” Tanner maneuvered himself so he could see Kilmer’s face, not wanting to miss something important. He thought it was maybe time to explain why seeing his face when he talked mattered.
But there was no sound or movement from Kilmer, and he looked so…. Hurt was the only word Tanner could think of.
Then Kilmer shook himself and moved forward. “Nothing.”
Clearly not true, but Tanner followed Kilmer deeper into the room anyway, not wanting to leave him alone in this uneven state. He watched as Kilmer pulled something from the pocket of the jeans he had carried in with him. He saw a glint of gold and pursed his lips, wondering if it was what he thought it was.
Kilmer clenched the tiny object in a tight fist, then opened his hand to stare at it. Finally he crossed the room and set it gently on the mantel of the fireplace across from the bed.
It was a small gold bell with a tiny key dangling from the ring. Tanner knew enough to make a pretty solid guess as to their purpose.
He stepped up behind Kilmer and touched a finger to the links of chain draped over the back of his neck. “Have you come in here since he left?” He pressed a careful kiss to the skin just above the chain.
Kilmer nodded. “Yeah, I did.” He motioned to the floor between bed and wall, and Tanner saw a box of broken toys.
“Oh.” He wasn’t sure what else to say.
Kilmer snorted, hurried around the bed, and kicked the box under it. “Forget about it. Come on.” He looked up at Tanner, grinned, and flipped the coverlet on the bed back. Kilmer crawled over the bed to him.
“Are you sure—” Tanner stopped when Kilmer gripped him by the back of the neck. He closed his mouth over Tanner’s this time. The force of the kiss was not less for it being Kilmer who initiated it. He clasped both hands around Tanner’s face, tangled his fingers in Tanner’s hair, and kissed until Tanner’s knees gave out and he plopped onto the bed. The power in Kilmer’s touch left Tanner reeling and confused.
Just exactly what had the dynamic between Kilmer and Jacko been? Five minutes ago he’d been certain he knew. After that kiss and the way Kilmer propelled him onto the bed, he was suddenly not so sure.
“You gonna manhandle me?” Tanner asked, nearly breathless but managing to scrape together enough wits to work his tongue.
