Dan the Adventurer, page 7
part #2 of Gold Girls and Glory Series
Holly tilted her head, grinning. Then, apparently realizing that he was serious, she said, “You dreamed of Zeke again last night.”
“I did?” Then something in his mind shifted, and vague memories surfaced in the brackish backwaters of his hungover brain. Zeke’s emaciated face, the shape and sound of the predator things pacing beyond the wall of crackling red electricity, and Zeke’s voice saying something.
What the wizard had said, Dan couldn’t recall. He just remembered that Zeke had been upset.
“Yeah,” Dan said, rubbing his forehead, “I guess I did dream about him.”
“You were upset when you woke,” Holly said. “You said that Zeke warned you. He said that we were all in danger.”
Dan frowned. “I can’t remember now.”
“From your description, I think you were experiencing a lucid dream,” Holly said. “We have to tell Mother.”
“I thought we were going home,” Dan said. He didn’t feel like hanging around the grove for another night.
“We are,” Holly said, “but we need to see Mother first. This could be very important.”
“Great,” Dan said and pressed his palms into his temples. “I hope I don’t puke on her.”
Nadia sat up blearily, looking half-asleep, alarmed, and absolutely gorgeous, topless as she was, with a veil of chestnut locks hanging over one green eye. “Don’t puke on me, barbarian.”
Dan laughed. It made his head hurt worse. “I’m not puking on you, I’m puking on Holly’s mom.”
“Oh,” Nadia said and flopped back on the bed. “Carry on, then.”
“Ugh,” Dan said when he stood and the room tilted. “I thought you said that whiskey wouldn’t give me a hangover.”
Holly laughed. “You drank enough to kill an ogre.”
“Well,” Nadia said, her voice muffled beneath the pillow, “now he has the breath of a dead ogre.”
Dan slapped her ass, crawled out of bed, and got dressed. Then he and Holly walked out into a gloomy morning and headed toward her mother’s study, which was part of the main tower.
On their way, they passed the training yard, which was muddy from rain that had fallen during the night. Elves with wooden swords called to Dan, inviting him to join their sparring session.
He ignored them and kept plodding along beside Holly. His head already felt like someone was clubbing it every time his heart beat.
Floor-to-ceiling shelves filled with thousands of ancient-looking books covered the walls of Holly’s mother’s study, except where a massive skull—a dragon, perhaps—had been fashioned into a chair. The rest of the room looked like the lair of a mad scientist, complete with all kinds of scientific equipment, even a complex arrangement of glass piping, flasks, and burners, including several glass decanters filled with bubbling liquid.
Holly’s mother leaned over the petrified beast, which she had carved into many pieces. Wearing a short magnifying tube over one eye, she picked up a chunk the size of a charcoal briquette. After turning the chunk over in her hands and studying it closely, she placed it on a scale, checked the measurement, and made a note.
They waited, the measured ticking of a clock loud in the silence.
Finally, Holly’s mother looked up. “Daughter,” she said with a nod. “Son-in-law.”
“Good morning, Mother,” Holly said. “What have you learned about our beast?”
“The specimen has surrendered few answers,” her mother said, “but I can say one thing with certainty. This creature, whatever it may be, is not from our reality.”
“You mean it’s from some different plane of existence?” Dan asked.
Holly’s mother raised one brow. “You surprise me. Do they talk of multiple universes where you are from?”
Dan laughed. “Not so much, but I’ve been to the Between with our friend Zeke.”
“Interesting,” Holly’s mother said, fiddling with her magnifying glass.
“Speaking of Zeke,” Holly said, “Dan’s been experiencing lucid dreams.”
Holly’s mother listened intently as Holly and Dan described the first dream and what little could be remembered from the second.
“Lucid dreams mean one thing to elves and something else to humans,” Holly’s mother said. “Perhaps this was a dream. Perhaps this was more than a dream. I suspect the latter, based on our extra-planar visitor. The wizard said you are in danger?”
Dan shrugged. “I don’t know. I think so.”
“Perhaps Griselda still lives,” Holly’s mother said. “Perhaps she is trapped on another plane and is sending these beasts after you.”
“Great,” Dan said. “Sounds like an extra-planar pain in the ass.”
The slightest of smiles lifted one corner of his mother-in-law’s mouth. “I can see why you like him,” she said to her daughter. “He is not an unattractive specimen, and he is unusual.”
Holly laughed. “Indeed.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Dan said. “So these things are hunting me now? Is that the idea?”
“That is one possibility,” Holly’s mother said, “but it’s probably best filed under ‘wild speculation’ at this point.”
“I wish I could remember last night’s dream,” Dan said. “Something had changed. Zeke was trying to warn me.”
“There is one place where you can revisit dreams,” Holly’s mother said.
Holly looked troubled. “The Pool of Dreams.”
Holly’s mother nodded. “All Dan needs to do is drink water from the pool, lie upon the rocky shore, and close his eyes. He will reenter his dreams with a greater degree of clarity and control.”
“But the Pool of Dreams is in the catacombs,” Holly said, sounding worried.
“Where your Grandmother battled Griselda?” Dan asked.
“Yes,” Holly said.
Deep below the earth, Holly’s grandmother had come to the rescue of the Legion of Light as they battled the evil necromancer Griselda. Holly’s grandmother killed Griselda, but the necromancer rose from the dead and killed Holly’s grandmother.
Dan and his friends had avenged Holly’s grandmother, killing Griselda, who had turned out to be none other than Dan’s merciless professor, Dr. Lynch.
Now it sounded like Dr. Lynch might not be dead after all. Great. Just great.
This was shaping up like another of Willis’s T&T adventures. Dan felt like kicking back and enjoying life for a while, not dungeon diving, but he also knew that in any world based on Willis’s TM style, rejecting a call to adventure would lead to bigger problems, like the ape-thing showing up on his doorstep back at Penn State. Better to follow the cues and take care of this thing right now. “All right. Where is it?”
“We’ve already been there,” Holly said. “The weird rift in the woods cracked open above the catacombs. The Pool of Dreams is down there… along with the other beast.”
12
Laying Down the Law
Dan watched in amazement as Holly’s mother rapidly sketched an incredibly detailed map of the caverns.
From memory.
He turned to Holly, meaning to share a can-you-believe-this look, but she merely stood there, waiting and watching with no expression on her face, as if her mother were making a sandwich.
The catacombs had been magically sealed after the big battle and torn open again by the rift. Dan and the girls would have to rappel into the crevasse, find an opening into the catacombs, and orient themselves once inside, using milestones noted on the map.
Dan and Holly thanked her mother and headed back to the room, where they woke Nadia and explained the situation.
Dan, already packing his things, wanted to head straight to the catacombs.
“Perhaps we should wait,” Holly said, sounding nervous.
“No way,” Dan said. “The faster we get to the Pool of Dreams, the faster we can help Zeke.” And head home, he thought. Hangovers always made him want to head home and block out the world.
“The catacombs are dangerous. They always were. And now that big extra-planar predator is down there. It’s twice the size of the one you two barely managed to kill.”
“But we did kill it,” Dan said. “And we’ll have you with us this time.”
“If we wait,” Holly said, “you might dream of Zeke tonight. He might tell you everything.”
“Stay here another night?” Nadia groaned. “No offense, elf, but you’re way cooler than the rest of your family. I’m with the barbarian. Let’s split. Besides, the catacombs sound like a good place to find some treasure.”
“Or a good place to get killed,” Holly countered. “Griselda cursed those catacombs with the blackest magic.”
The vote remained two to one, so Holly relented, and they headed out, planning to leave the grove immediately. Holly’s father was still pissed, so it was best to just leave without saying goodbye, Holly explained. She would have liked to have said goodbye to Lily, but her sister was already out in the woods again.
“No surprise there,” Holly said. “I think Lily’s allergic to sleeping under a roof.”
Dan chuckled but couldn’t help feeling a little disappointed. He would’ve liked to have seen her again. Lily was something. Gorgeous and interesting and refreshingly different from Holly’s other relatives.
And a great kisser, he thought. But completely off-limits. She’s your wife’s kid sister.
“Ah,” a familiar voice called from across the courtyard, “my sister and her pets.”
Dan followed the sound of laughter and saw Briar standing at the center of the training yard, wearing training armor and holding a wooden sword.
Moro stood across from him, gasping for air and holding an injured hand.
Several other young soldiers lounged cockily against the wall, laughing.
Beside them, not laughing, was Estus. He waved a hand toward Dan and the girls then nodded in the other direction, his message clear. Keep moving.
“Goodbye, Briar,” Holly said and started walking again.
“Where are you going in such a hurry?” Briar called. “Join us for a little friendly sparring before you leave, barbarian.”
Dan stopped and turned halfway back around. He was still hungover, but it would be nice, shutting Briar’s mouth. His face burned remembering how he’d felt at the feast, kneeling down and calling the smirking asshole “esteemed brother.”
“Come on,” Holly said, tugging at Dan’s arm. “Just ignore him.”
“It’s only sparring,” Briar called. “I thought you barbarians were supposed to be courageous warriors.”
“Next time,” Dan said, following Holly.
“Coward!” Briar called, raw anger in his voice now. He was clearly finished with mocking games. “Afraid of a wooden sword!”
Dan yanked his hand free of Holly’s grasp and turned back around. He wasn’t sure what, exactly, finally made him snap, Briar’s challenge or the look of fear he’d seen in Holly’s eyes when he’d pulled free, but he was going to settle this prick’s hash for good.
“All right, big talker,” Dan said. “I don’t usually play with toy swords, but toss me one, and I’ll shove it up your ass.”
Estus interposed, looking nervous. “We will adhere to the rules.”
“Rules?” Dan said. “You guys fight with rules?”
“They’re simple,” Briar said, brushing off his wooden weapon. “So simple even a barbarian might understand.”
Estus handed Dan a wooden sword.
The thing was light but solid, the grip a little small for his hand. Whatever. It would do.
“Dan,” Holly said, pulling at his arm. “Please don’t.”
“Yeah,” Nadia agreed. “Let’s just go.”
“Don’t worry,” Dan said. “I won’t hurt him too bad.”
“You’ll each start at your mark,” Estus explained, pointing to wooden beams sunk in the mud ten yards apart. “Upon my command, you will fight. No outside weapons. No punching or kicking. The fight continues for five minutes or until one combatant yields.”
“Or can no longer continue due to unconsciousness or death,” Briar added.
“Death, huh?” Dan laughed. “You do know that all of your bullshit won’t mean squat once we start fighting, right?”
Briar stepped to the line. “I’m ready when you are, pup.”
“Wait,” Moro said. “What about armor? Do we have something that will fit the outsider?”
Dan waved off the suggestion. “Armor is for pussies.”
“You have to wear armor,” Holly said.
Again, the fear in her eyes just pushed Dan toward recklessness. He would show her that she didn’t have to worry about his safety.
He was going to crush this prick. He had a height and reach advantage on her brother, was forty pounds heavier, and knew from years of playing T&T that elves, while dexterous, weren’t known for strength. With his own 18/92 strength, he’d bowl over this lightweight.
And I’ll have fun doing it, he thought, glaring back at his brother-in-law’s haughty face.
Then Briar’s face disappeared as he lowered the dented sparring helm over his head.
Dan stepped to the line, planning to add a few more dents to the helmet. Big dents.
“Be careful,” Holly called to Dan.
“Kick his ass,” Nadia said.
As Dan was turning to give Nadia a grin, Estus called, “Fight!”
Dan whirled back around—
And the side of his face exploded.
His head jerked sideways with the force of the blow. He staggered away, disoriented, and almost dropped his sword. His face throbbed where the sword had struck, and he felt blood running, wet and warm, down his cheek.
The bastard split my face open!
No sooner had he registered the blow than another crashed down, grazing the opposite side of his head, making his ear scream in pain.
The wooden sword hurtled at him, slicing horizontally toward the side of his neck. At the last second, Dan tucked his chin and shrugged defensively, and Briar’s sword cracked into his shoulder.
Dan countered with a wild backhand swing that missed by a mile.
Briar danced away, laughing. “Clumsy, stupid, inferior human,” he said. Briar lunged fast as a striking viper and thrust the point of the wooden sword into Dan’s solar plexus.
Pain exploded in Dan’s chest and abdomen, and the air rushed from his lungs with a humiliating grunt. But he managed to parry the next attack, three rapid-fire overhead slashes all aimed at his face.
Briar was fast. Really fast.
Dan swung again and missed by a half a sword length.
Briar danced away, moving laterally.
As Dan turned to follow, Briar surged back in, cracking Dan across the side of the head.
It wasn’t a hard blow, but it hurt like hell and made his ear ring. Now he wished he’d at least worn a helmet, but he wasn’t about to call a time out.
Briar followed up with several strikes, coming at Dan from different angles, high and low, left and right, and finished with a powerful thrust that punched Dan hard in the thigh.
Dan growled in pain.
Think!
Briar was faster than him, but Dan was bigger and stronger. The trouble was, Briar’s speed had made Dan’s size and strength worthless. If he couldn’t hit the guy, strength meant nothing.
The wooden swords were part of the problem. The weapon was too small for his hand and unfamiliar to boot. Meanwhile, Holly’s brother had used the sparring sword so many times it seemed like an extension of his body.
Briar circled him, talking shit as he cracked Dan on the hands and arms, jabbed his chest and shoulders and legs, and occasionally went upside his head with a blistering whack.
Dan was in bad shape. Breathing hard from having the wind repeatedly knocked out of him, it was all he could do to keep Briar from slipping behind him.
He hadn’t landed a single shot on the elf.
This was a nightmare.
Briar was just too fast.
So find a way to slow him down.
He wasn’t allowed to punch or kick, but nobody had said anything about shoulder checks. This quick-footed asshole would be a lot easier to hit if Dan knocked him down. And every time Dan knocked him down, Briar would have to stand up in that heavy armor. Do that enough times, Briar would get tired. Tired and slow.
The next time Briar attacked, Dan dropped his shoulder and charged.
Briar’s strike cracked painfully into the side of his neck, but Dan bulled through it and slammed into his brother-in-law.
Briar spun away, laughing. “Getting desperate, barbarian?”
Dan didn’t bother to answer. He was going to stick to the plan and put this wiry prick on his ass.
But every time Dan charged, his much faster opponent sidestepped and counterattacked, driving the point of the sword into Dan’s unarmored body or slapping it against his legs.
Huffing like a dying beast, Dan charged again.
Briar leaned one way and cut in the opposite direction, moving like a slick boxer. As Dan roared past, Briar’s sword jammed into his side with a loud crack, breaking a rib. The blow stole his breath and sent waves of pain through his torso. The broken rib flexed, hurting all the way up to the armpit.
Dan wheeled around—then growled with pain and frustration when Briar’s sword cracked down on his wrist, making Dan drop his own weapon.
Briar drove him away from the fallen sword with a series of slashing attacks.
“One minute remaining!” Estus called.
“Yield, husband,” Holly called.
“To Hades with that,” Dan panted.
His right eye was swollen shut, and his entire face was a swollen, bloody mess. His arms and legs ached, and his broken rib screamed. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t hear, couldn’t even think straight.
Glancing at Holly and Nadia, he filled with rage and humiliation. Holly was hunched into Nadia’s embrace, her small shoulders hitching up and down with sobbing. Nadia comforted her but watched Dan, shouting at him, something he couldn’t hear over the ringing in his ears.
Thwack!
Briar’s sword cracked off the side of Dan’s face, and Dan felt like he’d been picked up by a powerful gust of wind. He flew away, shrinking as he went, shrinking and flying, flying and shrinking, until he pinched down into nothing, into darkness, and—
