Dan the Adventurer, page 6
part #2 of Gold Girls and Glory Series
Nadia grinned up at him from beneath his left arm.
Holly sat to his right, her eyes still red and swollen from crying. She’d been through the ringer, fighting with her father and attending her grandmother’s entombment ceremony.
Dan gave Holly’s hand a squeeze and tried his hardest to ignore the death stares coming from her brother, who sat at the next table over, surrounded by several wives. It was hard to say exactly how many wives Briar had, as women kept coming and going amidst a small army of little blond-haired children.
Dan had to give it to the grove. They knew how to throw a party.
Several hundred elves were in attendance, the bright colors of their formal attire making the great hall look like a bouquet of spring flowers.
In contrast to the ostentatious elegance of the attendees, the serving girls weaving between the tables with platters of roasted game and vegetables wore almost nothing at all.
Holly had been quiet and sad as they’d entered the feast, but since they located their table at the far edge of the hall, her mood had shifted again. With nearly every male and married female scowling in her direction, Holly sat up straight and smiled coolly, looking defiant and proud, puffy red eyes be damned.
When Dan asked, she said, “Of course I’m proud, husband. Officially, this feast honors my grandmother, but it’s also my wedding party.”
“Yeah, but your family hates us,” Dan pointed out.
“My pride is not dependent upon their acceptance,” Holly said.
A serving girl approached. Like all of the servers, she was unbelievably gorgeous and dressed in strips of diaphanous fabric that barely managed to cover her nipples and genitals. Everything else was bare skin and delicious curves.
“Thanks,” Nadia said, as the girl refilled her tumbler. “You’d better fill the barbarian’s glass, too, or he might pull you into his lap.”
The serving girl laughed nervously, stealing glances at Dan as she refilled his glass with smoky whiskey.
Dan thanked the girl, who blushed.
Meanwhile, Dan was aware of Briar glaring at him from the next table over. Another young male now stood beside Briar’s table, staring in Dan’s direction.
Dan ignored them as best he could. The distraction of a blushing, beautiful, and scantily clad serving girl certainly helped.
“It’s Iliana, isn’t it?” Holly asked the girl.
“Yes, my lady,” the girl said with a little bow that gave Dan a groan-worthy view of her perfect cleavage. He’d always thought that elves drank wine and had wiry, sinuous physiques. Thank Crom, these gray elves had broken those molds quite spectacularly.
He also noticed with a spike of excitement that Nadia’s eyes were lingering on the girl’s curves, too.
“What do you think of my husband, Iliana?” Holly asked. “Is he handsome?”
Iliana turned bright red and giggled uncomfortably, but the look she turned on Dan, much like the stares the other serving girls had been giving him, burned unmistakably with pure lust.
“He’s very handsome, my lady,” Iliana said and hurried off to the next table.
Nadia groaned. “Please don’t do that again,” she told Holly. “He’s cocky enough without you pumping his ego.”
Holly squeezed Dan’s hand. “Our husband should be proud. Every maiden in this hall is dreaming of bedding him.”
“Which explains why all of the males are giving me death stares,” Dan said.
“They’re not used to the competition,” Holly said. “Females outnumber males three to one in the grove.”
“I’m not complaining,” Dan said.
“Normally,” Holly said, “the girls spend their lives fawning over the males, hoping to join a harem. You represent a new option. A big, strong, handsome option. And,” she said, smiling mischievously, “I might have mentioned to friends among the maidens that you’re armed with a very large sword.” Under the table, she gave his crotch a squeeze.
“Well, these little hotties can just keep their hands off his sword,” Nadia said. “I’m using it tonight.”
“Concubines have no say in such matters,” Holly said. “If Dan selects a new wife or two, maybe I will allow you to clean up after us.”
Now it was Nadia’s turn to blush. She grumbled halfheartedly about evil elves, but Dan watched her green eyes glimmer as they flicked from serving girl to serving girl.
“These girls are beautiful,” he said, “but the last thing I need right now is another wife. You two are all that I can handle.”
“More than you can handle,” Nadia said.
“We’ll see about that when we get back to the room,” Dan said.
“Tonight, I’m punishing you both for your transgressions,” Holly joked. She had been angry at them earlier for stirring up trouble, but mostly, she’d been angry at her father, who was livid over the marriage. “In the meantime, if you see a girl you like, let me know.”
“All right,” Dan said, knowing that he wouldn’t. Someday, he’d have fun adding another girl or two, but right now, Holly and Nadia were enough. He loved them both, they satisfied him wholly, and he wanted to give them everything that they needed.
By the time the dinner plates were cleared, Dan was feeling no pain. This whiskey kicked serious ass.
He wasn’t expecting a wedding present from his in-laws—Holly’s dad and brother clearly wanted to kill him, and her mother didn’t even seem to notice him—but if they were culture-bound to offer a gift, he’d ask for a flask of this stuff. Or a keg. Or a frigging wagon.
Now three guys stood around Briar. They kept glancing at Dan and laughing, their eyes full of meanness. They were a bunch of cocky assholes, acting like a pack of middle school tough guys. Sure, they were good with blades, but they were little fuckers, and Dan longed to walk over and knock the teeth out of those vicious smiles.
Then the music started up, and Dan forgot all about Briar and his pack of assholes. The singers he had seen practicing near the fountain formed up at the center of the room and filled the vast hall with their beautiful voices.
Once again, Dan was awestruck.
Then the serving girls, having set aside their trays, spun onto the floor, dancing to the music. In perfectly choreographed harmony, the dancers leapt and twirled and lifted one another into the air, as precise and graceful as ballerinas.
When the music changed, the girls formed a single line and began to weave past the tables.
“They’re all eligible maidens hoping to catch the eye of a husband,” Holly explained.
The girls paused at each table, swaying and spinning, putting their lithe bodies on display.
“Tonight,” Holly said, “the eye they’re all hoping to catch is yours.”
As the line reached Dan’s table, a change came over the dancing girls. With flushed faces and eyes burning with desire, the maidens cavorted for Dan, taking their time, stretching and arching, bending and shaking, shimmying and undulating, much to the chagrin of the male elves.
Dan was rock hard, as Holly soon found out when she tested him under the table. With a smirk, she asked, “See anything you like?”
“I like this,” he said, raising his glass, and wondered for a second if he’d slurred.
Should probably slow down and pace myself, he thought. Then his inner barbarian roared up inside him, Fuck that! Live a little.
Dan chuckled. He felt more like Wulfgar every day.
“What are you laughing about?” Nadia asked.
“Nothing,” he said, and knocked back the rest of his whiskey.
After a time, the dancers filed out of the hall. The singers finished, and a quartet of musicians with pipes and string instruments filled the hall with lively music.
Children poured onto the dance floor, jerking and leaping with abandon. There was nothing choreographed here. These were just kids, cutting loose and having fun while their parents ignored them and drank and talked about grown-up stuff.
A pack of children swung by the table and whined for Dan and his women to join them on the dance floor. Holly declined politely. Dan laughed and waved them off. Finally, Nadia caved in and went back with them to the dance floor.
“Nadia loves kids,” Holly said. “She will make a great mother.” The words were happy, but her voice was sad.
“So will you,” Dan said. “Someday.”
Holly smiled uncomfortably. “Speaking of mothers, tradition demands that we eventually visit my parents’ table.”
“Oh joy,” Dan said. “Can I get more whiskey first?”
Holly laughed. “Have mine,” she said and slid her cup into his hands.
He ignored a ripple of laughter from Briar’s table, put an arm around Holly, and watched Nadia dance with the kids.
After a while, the children contrived a game that blended dancing and tag. Whoever was “it” had to spin the whole time he or she was chasing would-be victims across the dance floor. It was silly and hilarious, and Dan felt a surge of love for Nadia as he watched her play with the kids, all of them laughing hard and loving it.
Glancing around, Dan noticed a girl in a purple cloak enter the hall. At first, he thought she was a child because of her height—she was a few inches under five feet—but then she shucked her cloak, revealing a face and body that belonged unmistakably to a fully developed woman.
Like the other female elves, this girl was beautiful, only more so, despite her clothes and condition. Instead of a luxurious gown, the diminutive newcomer wore tight green breeches, a close-fitting tunic the color of tree bark, and soft leather boots laced to the knee. Her face and exposed forearms were smudged with dirt and covered in scratches. Silver dreadlocks fell all the way to her tight-looking ass.
Laughing as she blew into the room, the new girl gave hugs, patted backs, and drew disapproving looks from the older elves, none more obviously than the Iron Druid himself, who apparently wasn’t a fan of the new girl or her informal attire.
In this community of haughty and ritualistic perfectionists, where even cavorting was choreographed, there was something refreshingly feral and vibrant about this dirty-faced beauty.
Holly nudged him. “What do you think about her?”
Dan polished off the whiskey and grinned. “I might have to take back what I said about not wanting another wife.”
“Is that so?” Holly said, grinning. “I could tell you a lot of stories about that one. She’s wild. Half dryad, they say. Spends most of her time in the woods, running with animals and climbing trees and playing tricks on travelers.”
“What’s her name?” Dan asked, watching as the girl introduced herself to Nadia.
“You’ll meet her later,” Holly said, standing and taking his hand. “For now, let’s get the mandatory table visits over.”
“All right,” he grumbled. “How am I supposed to refer to your parents?”
“Sir and ma’am for now. I don’t know the etiquette for a non-elf husband.”
“Sir and ma’am it is,” he said, surprised to find his legs a little rubbery when he stood. This whiskey was dangerous stuff.
“But first,” Holly said, “we must approach the table of my eldest sibling.”
“Wait,” Dan said. “You mean Briar?” He glanced in that direction and saw Briar and his buddies chugging whiskey and slamming their glasses on the table.
Holly nodded. “I’ve been putting it off, because I know he’s going to be difficult.”
“Let’s just skip it.”
“We can’t. It’s tradition, and it’s very important to my family.”
“Great,” Dan growled, wanting more whiskey. “All right. Let’s get this over with.”
“There’s one more thing,” Holly said sheepishly. “Since he’s my older brother, you have to get down on one knee and refer to him as ‘esteemed brother.’”
“Are you shitting me?” Dan said, his face suddenly hot with a rush of anger and disbelief.
“I’m sorry,” Holly said. She grabbed his hands and squeezed them, staring up at him hopefully. “Please do this for me. It’s custom. When in Rome, right?”
“If this was Rome,” he said, “Briar would throw me to the lions.”
“You two just got off on the wrong foot,” Holly said. “Don’t hold a grudge. Besides, you owe me. My father is so angry with me right now. The delving ceremony that you interrupted is very important to—”
“All right, all right,” Dan said, seeing no way out. “Let’s go, then.”
Holly beamed. “Thank you, husband,” she said and raised up to kiss his cheek.
Briar looked up as they approached, staring at Dan with dead eyes and a smile full of amusement and contempt. His buddies grinned and elbowed each other.
Dan stopped and glared at the assholes.
Holly squeezed Dan’s hand. “Please go along with this,” she said. “Please, for me?”
Dan nodded. He’d go along with it. He’d endure their mocking smiles this one time. But if Briar thought things were going to stay like this, he had another thing coming.
They reached the table.
The entire hall stilled, watching with interest.
“Kneel,” Holly said under her breath and tugged his hand as she lowered herself to the floor.
Dan followed her down, hating this phony, ritualized bullshit. He was no elf. Why the Hades should he have to do any of this?
But he’d promised, so he went along with it.
Glancing up, he saw the delighted faces of Briar and his buddies and wished he’d kept his head down. One of the assholes actually pointed at Dan and laughed.
Dan bowed his head again. He had to. If the guy kept pointing at him, Dan would jump up and snap the little fucker over his knee like a stick of kindling.
“Rise, sister,” Briar said, sounding all snotty. “And you,” he added, pronouncing you as if it left a bad taste in his mouth.
When they stood, Briar was smirking up at them.
“Esteemed brother,” Holly said, and gestured toward Dan. “I wish to introduce you to my husband, Dan Marshall of the Free.”
“The Free,” Briar said, feigning confusion as he turned to his friends. “Do any of you know that grove?”
They laughed, shaking their heads, going along with his lame-ass joke.
“Never heard of it,” one said.
“Nor I,” another added.
Briar snapped his fingers, and a nasty smile came onto his face. “Now I remember. The Free. They’re not a grove at all, are they, Dan?”
“No,” he said, and then, for Holly, grumbled, “esteemed brother.”
Briar and his friends seemed to find this formality hilarious.
“No, not a grove at all,” Briar said. “The Free are a bunch of northern savages.”
Holly squeezed Dan’s hand.
“That’s right,” Dan said, a dangerous smile coming onto his face as he drilled his eyes into Briar’s. “A bunch of stupid savages. Not good for much except fighting and fucking. Esteemed brother.”
That wiped the cocky smile off Briar’s face.
Guess even grey elves don’t like guys banging their sisters, Dan thought, his own smile growing wider.
Turning to Holly, Briar said, “Sweet sister, I do apologize for your misfortune, but as tradition would have it, I welcome your savage to our grove.” His eyes swiveled to Dan. “If the animal doesn’t behave, I will happily discipline him for you. He will be eating out of your hand in no time.”
Dan bit his tongue, boiling with anger.
“You have always had a way with poetry and humor, esteemed brother,” Holly said, “and I thank you for welcoming my husband into our grove.”
“Husband?” a voice full of laughter chimed, and Dan turned to see the beautiful wild-child approaching. She had large purple eyes, a spray of freckles across her cheeks and pixie nose, and bits of stick and leaf entwined in her silver dreadlocks.
“Lily, meet Dan,” Holly said.
Lily, Dan thought. That’s the name of—
“Dan,” Holly said, smiling, “meet my sister, Lily.”
“Greetings, esteemed brother,” Lily said, giving him an absurdly overdone bow that showed exactly what she thought of all this ritualized pomp and circum-bullshit.
Lily straightened, yanked Dan’s head down to hers, and gave him a kiss. Her mouth was wet and warm, and her tongue darted playfully into his mouth.
Then she broke the kiss, and Dan stood straight, feeling rocked.
Lily licked her lips, which curved into a wicked smile. “Mmmm, esteemed brother, you’re welcome in my grove anytime.”
11
A Daunting Mission
Dan woke to an epic hangover. His skull throbbed. His gut churned. His mouth was drier than a boot in the desert. Around him, Holly’s room spun sickeningly.
He vaguely remembered the end of the night. Miraculously, he had kept his cool with Briar and with Holly’s parents, who turned out to be slightly more diplomatic than their son.
Holly’s father’s eyes had burned with rage, but the Iron Druid had nonetheless stuck to the ritualized script and welcomed Dan to the grove.
Holly’s mother also said the words, staring at Dan not with hatred but as if he were a curious creature that she found mildly interesting. Some new form of bug, perhaps, or an unusual worm.
Then he, Holly, and Nadia had retired to Holly’s room. Dan remembered drinking more whiskey and getting the girls out of their clothes.
Then nothing.
Nadia lay beside him, naked and beautiful. If he didn’t feel like such shit, he would—
“Good morning,” Holly said from across the room.
Dan sat up then closed his eyes, waiting for the room to stop spinning. When the world came to rest, he opened them again and asked Holly what she was doing up so early.
“Early?” she laughed. “It’s almost noon, silly. We’re late.”
“Late?” What had he agreed to in his drunken stupor? Hopefully not tea and biscuits with her esteemed asshole brother.
“After our talk in the middle of the night,” Holly said, “I want to visit Mother and—”
“Wait,” Dan interrupted. “What talk in the middle of the night?”
