Dan the Adventurer, page 28
part #2 of Gold Girls and Glory Series
“Cry me a river,” Nadia said. “We didn’t marry you just for your roguish good looks. We want the barbarian special. Prophecy Girl first, then your sexier wife.”
But just as they were entering the alleyway, Thelia appeared, jogging up to them in a fetching display of bouncing curves, her red and gold eyes huge. “Master,” she panted, “come quickly. The matriarch wants you.”
“I’ll be right with her,” Dan said. “Just give me a minute to—”
“Now, Master,” Thelia said, her voice throbbing with desperation. “She’s dying.”
“Dying?” Dan asked. It made no sense. The old woman had bravely joined the fight but had weathered combat without so much as a hangnail. How could she be dying?
Thelia nodded, wiping tears. “It’s her time. She wants to speak with you before she goes.”
They hurried across the courtyard, deflecting those who called out to them, and rushed to where the matriarch lay upon a litter, smoking a smelly, black cigar beside the steaming ruins of what had been the Hall of Memories.
“Keep searching,” the old woman called to a crew of red elves who were digging through the rubble. Then, seeing Dan, she smiled and said, “Ah, you’ve come. Good. Good. And you’re all three here. Most excellent.”
“How are you?” Dan asked, taking the old woman’s hand. “Thelia said you were… said you weren’t doing so well.”
The matriarch laughed, exhaling a cloud of smelly cigar smoke. “No time left for politeness, young man. And no dancing around. We only have time for the truth.”
Dan nodded. “All right, then. Why in Hades are you dying? You weren’t hurt in the battle.”
“No, I was not,” Ahneena agreed. “But nonetheless, I am dying. It is my time. And since I am the matriarch, that means that change is coming for my people. And I don’t mean that life will change for them after I’m gone. It will, and hopefully for the better, but what I mean to say is that I am dying because it is time for my people to change.”
Dan didn’t know what to say to that. “Is there anything we can do?”
The matriarch smiled and shook her head. “I cannot be healed. Nor would I wish to be. Two thousand years is long enough. And I have high hopes for you and our people.”
“Thanks,” Dan said.
“Matriarch,” the elves in the rubble called, lifting a section of charred carpet from the debris. “We’ve found it.”
“Excellent,” the matriarch said. “Uncover the entire tapestry, wash away the ash, and prepare it for travel.”
Nadia squinted at the soot-covered tapestry then looked back at the matriarch. “That doesn’t make sense. The whole building burned. The rocks cracked from the heat. How could cloth survive?”
The matriarch smiled. “Fire could never destroy our history, child,” she said. “On the contrary, our history can be written only in fire.”
The old woman shifted her eyes back to Dan. “You have rekindled the fire in my people, and for that, I would like to give you one last gift.”
Dan looked at the old woman for a second, letting her words sink in. This was the big moment, the potential jackpot that Holly had talked about for so long, the legendary third gift that would supposedly enact some kind of super powerful gift magic.
According to Holly, no matriarch had awarded a third gift in centuries. This was a huge deal, and Dan should be exploding with excitement. But instead, he was shaking his head.
“I can’t accept your gift,” he said, ignoring Holly’s frantically prodding elbow. “I’ve heard the legends about gift magic, and I appreciate the offer. I really do. But you said we were going to talk truth, and the truth is, I don’t deserve a gift. Just look around.”
He spread his arms and swiveled back and forth. “Fire Ridge is gone. I’m happy that your tapestry survived, but you don’t even have a wall to hang it on. A third of your people are dead. And what of the survivors? It could snow any day. They have no homes, no food, nothing.”
“They have you,” the matriarch said, squinting as she puffed her cigar.
No, they don’t, he thought but didn’t have the heart to say. I have to go back to college. And I sure as Hades can’t cram two hundred elves in my apartment.
“You stayed with us and rebuilt our fortress, trained my people, and risked your life, helping us to repel an enemy that would have eradicated us to the last elf,” the matriarch said, “but that is not why I am offering you this gift. I don’t have time to repeat myself, young man, so please listen carefully. I am offering you this gift because you rekindled the fire within my people, and because you have the power to spread that fire. Do you understand?”
Dan thought for a second of the changes he had seen in the red elves. He thought of their ash-smudged cheeks and bravery in the battle, of Parus fighting back-to-back with him against overwhelming odds, and of the grim pride he saw on the faces of the wounded soldiers he’d visited. Yes, he knew what she was talking about, and this wasn’t the time for false humility. “Yes, I understand what you’re saying. They have come to life.”
“They have come back to life,” the matriarch corrected him. “You have resurrected them. That is why I offer this third gift. Now, you annoyingly conscientious boy, will you or will you not accept this gift?”
Holly again dug an elbow into his side, but it wasn’t necessary. He wouldn’t have accepted a gift, no matter how fantastic, for protecting Fire Ridge while standing among its ruins. But this was different, and he nodded. “I will accept the gift,” he said. “And thank you, Ahneena.”
The matriarch smiled. “That’s more like it. I’ve made so many mistakes over the centuries. I’d hate to wrap up my legacy by botching the delivery of a third gift.” She laughed softly, and Dan became aware of quiet sobbing all around him, soft as muffled rain. While they had been talking, a crowd of red elves had gathered and stood now, wiping tears from their ash-smudged cheeks, watching the matriarch with intense eyes.
Last-minute stragglers were still arriving. Many limped. Others hobbled along with the help of canes or makeshift crutches. Still others arrived on litters.
He saw Ula waving off help and struggling along, using her massive battle axe like a crutch, staring with suspicion toward Dan and the proceedings. He saw Jorbin Ateel and his family, all of them wounded, all of them beaming proudly. He saw men and women and children, elves and gnomes alike, the entire community gathering to witness what was happening here beside the steaming ruins of the Hall of Memories.
“Thank you for rekindling the flames within my people,” the matriarch said. “Now, with your help, they will spread the fire, continuing our history and reigniting other red elves.”
The sobbing red elves smiled fiercely, grief and excitement not so much fighting as coexisting in their features.
“First I gave you the needle,” the matriarch said. “Then I gave you the thimble. To continue adding history to our tapestry, however, a needle and thimble are not sufficient. You will need thread.”
She’s going to give me thread? Dan thought. That’s the third gift? He had been trained since birth to smile and thank somebody for any gift, even a pair of ugly socks on Christmas morning, and he wasn’t about to be rude to this wonderful old woman, but after all this build up, the third gift turning out to be a spool of thread was pretty frigging underwhelming.
“But the future of the red elves,” the matriarch said, “like our past, can be stitched only in fire. For the third gift, I give you… a wife.”
The elves gasped.
A wife? Dan thought, forcing an awkward smile onto his face.
He already had two wives, both of whom were very demanding in the sack. They got along great, but a third wife would undoubtedly cause a ton of complications. Not to mention a certain hobgoblin warrior woman determined to kick the shit out of him on a daily basis until he agreed to marry her.
A wife he did not need. All things considered, he’d rather have the spool of thread he’d been expecting.
The matriarch puffed her smelly cigar and watched his reaction with twinkling eyes. “Do you accept this gift?”
“A wife?” Dan said, and laughed. “Well—”
This time, Holly’s elbow hit his ribs like a hammer strike.
He grunted and glanced in her direction. Her eyes flared dangerously, and she nodded.
He glanced then to Nadia, who stood there with an amused smile on her face. She shrugged, obviously enjoying his predicament.
“Sure,” he conceded grudgingly. All along, Holly had insisted that third gifts, no matter what they looked like on the surface, turned out to be very powerful. Perhaps the matriarch had been hiding some amazing healer or ass-kicking warrior woman. “Thank you. I accept your gift.”
The matriarch beamed. “Wonderful. In that case, I hereby give my great-great-great-granddaughter and sole heir, Thelia of Fire Ridge, to be your wife.”
Thelia? Dan thought, reeling. The girl was pretty enough, achingly gorgeous, in fact, but she had the IQ of a dandelion.
The matriarch gestured, and Thelia stepped forward, smiling and crying, looking shocked and surprised, frightened and happy, all at once. She glanced at Dan, tittered, turned an even brighter shade of red, and stared at her feet.
Or rather, her cleavage. There was no way she could actually see her feet from a standing position.
The matriarch took their hands, laid Dan’s over Thelia’s, and held them both in her own.
“Thelia,” she said, “do you take Dan as your husband?”
Thelia smiled nervously, looked up at him with huge eyes, and batted her long lashes. “I do,” she said, and giggled happily.
The matriarch nodded approvingly and said, “Dan, do you take Thelia as your wife?”
Dan took a deep breath. This was all happening so fast.
He looked into Thelia’s huge eyes. In those gold-flecked red irises, he saw nervous hope—and fear. She wasn’t afraid of him. She was afraid that he would reject her.
The matriarch’s proposition had taken Thelia by surprise, just as it had taken Dan by surprise, but he could see that Thelia wanted this. Very much, in fact.
“I do,” he said.
Cheering erupted around them, but Dan barely noticed it due to his surprise. Because as soon as he said those two words, Thelia’s eyes changed. The gold flecks in her irises thickened and wavered, flickering momentarily like streaks of fire against a field of fresh blood.
Then Thelia’s irises were normal again, and the matriarch told them to kiss, and Dan leaned forward. Thelia gave him a chaste little peck on the lips and threw her arms around him.
The matriarch rose. Reaching up, the old woman guided the newlyweds’ heads down to hers and kissed their cheeks.
“Leave this place,” the matriarch whispered. “Spread the fire.”
With that, Ahneena stepped back from the crowd, which happily mobbed Dan and Thelia, everyone reaching out awkwardly to pat Dan without hitting any of his many wounds.
Then, with a bright flash, the matriarch burst into flames.
Everyone cried out, but Dan saw immediately that the matriarch was feeling no pain. In fact, the old woman stood there calmly, a contented smile on her face.
The bright yellow fire did not destroy her clothing or her flesh or even singe her long hair, but she did change within the flames.
As they stared, the matriarch grew younger. With each passing second, a century away. Wrinkles smoothed out. The woman stood taller and grew more beautiful. Soon, she was in her prime again, a young woman of exquisite beauty, her red eyes twinkling with intelligence and humor.
The fire burned on, and Ahneena began to shrink, shifting through the stages of childhood, growing ever younger until she was a tiny baby.
Finally, the flames clapped together into a small, bright spark, which lifted into the air, spun above them in a great arc and dove in a flash, plunging straight into the chest of Thelia.
Thelia gasped and squeezed Dan’s hand.
“Are you okay?” he asked her.
Thelia blinked her long lashes, looking stunned, then exhaled and nodded, smiling peacefully.
Dan patted her hand, relieved, and looked up, surprised by the sight awaiting him. Surrounding him at the heart of the smoldering ruins, two hundred people bowed down, awaiting his command.
Thank you for reading Dan the Adventurer!
Dan, Holly, and Nadia’s story continues in Dan the Destroyer. GET IT HERE!
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About the Author
Hi, I’m Hondo. I’m a lifelong fan of Dungeons & Dragons, fantasy, and science fiction. Though I write crazy adventure stories about kicking ass and building harems, I’m actually just a regular guy blessed with a great wife, a beautiful daughter, and a dog with two different colored eyes.
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Thanks again for reading Dan the Adventurer!
Hondo Jinx, Dan the Adventurer
