A Spell Misplaced, page 6
part #4 of Gags & Pepper: Protection Agents Series
Lucian looked at Gags and raised his eyebrows. There were told there were two factions, and this one appeared to be a third. Gags wondered what they would be promoting to them.
“There are some issues with Gerald Penn, our current prime minister, that you should know about,” Lord Francis said.
“May I ask a question?” Lucian said. “Are you all affiliated with the Golden Shield?”
Two of the men shook their heads.
“You are what, Manxists?”
The pair looked at each other and at Lord Benjamin before nodding their heads.
“There is a ball at the end of the week. We will do some discreet observing and see what kind of job Lord Gerald is doing,” Lucian said.
Lord Benjamin smiled. “You do that. We’d rather you be informed than be rushed into something that might not benefit you.”
Gags nodded. “All for Baxter,” he said, lifting his wine glass.
“All for Baxter, indeed,” Lord Francis said.
Lunch was served. The food was excellent, especially for a Baxterian palate, and after lunch was eaten, Gags and Lucian were shown out the door. The other men remained.
They walked around and found Flora napping in a corner of the carriage.
She blinked and checked a tiny pocket watch she carried. “That was quick.”
“I don’t think we gave our friends the answers they wanted,” Gags said.
“Oh. What questions didn’t you like?”
Lucian laughed. “We are pledged to secrecy unless we return to the dining room. The words can’t leave the walls, so we were told.”
Flora smiled. “I hope you know what you are doing.” It was a warning. She looked out the window. “It is a beautiful day. Is there anything you wish to see?”
“The countryside,” Lucian said. “We don’t have to go far, but I’d like to see what Baxter looks like outside of Baxterton.”
“Not too far outside. I will take you to a representative village and back,” Flora said.
She left the carriage and gave the driver instructions.
As they descended, they took another route that took them through an affluent part of the city and back up the rise surrounding the harbor and the countryside. Initially, Baxter looked like any other country or fief in Peria. It reminded Gags of the land around the country mansion that now served as home to the Perian magicians army.
But as they went through another set of hills around Baxterton, the land took on a different look. Gags looked at trees he had never seen, and the bushes and grass looked lusher.
“Much of Oroia is like this once you get away from the coast,” Flora said.
“What about to the northwest, past Lord Browning’s estate?” Gags asked.
“That is mostly hills, mountains, and forests to the Maritime Gap. The land on the southwest side of that area is very arid, more like Caless, I’m told, but it isn’t part of Baxter.”
“I’ve been to Caless,” Gags said, “so I can picture it.”
“You two are full of surprises,” she said, smiling.
The carriage descended into the dense foliage of a small valley, and then it stopped abruptly.
“What happened?” Flora asked them.
Gags shrugged. “Are there bandits between Baxterton and the towns and villages?”
“Sometimes,” she said. She put her hand to her mouth. “You mean?”
“I’ll check it out,” Gags said.
He felt for his sword, which had been left behind at the inn. He did have three bolts in his coat pocket. The heat and humidity hit him harder when he stepped out of the carriage. No wonder the climate was different once they left the ocean. It was the same in Peria, but he never experienced such a drastic change.
“A log in the road,” the driver said as he ducked down, seeking the protection of the driver’s box.
“Lucian. It’s bandits,” Gags said.
“I left my sword in my other pants,” Lucian quipped as he stepped out into the heat. “Warm.”
“Indeed,” Gags said. “Stay inside, Flora,” Gags said.
A few scraggly bandits emerged from the dense foliage. They carried rusty, dull agricultural tools for weapons. “Your money or your wife!” one of them said.
“Life,” another corrected the order. “Your money or your life.”
“That’s right,” the first bandit said.
Gags sat down on the log. “You had to really work to drag this onto the road.”
“Barry’s draft horse,” the first bandit said.
“Which one is Barry?” Lucian asked.
Two of the would-be robbers pointed at the silent one.
“And what village are you from,” Gags asked.
“What?” the second robber asked.
“Which village do you call home?” Lucian said.
“You mean Weatherstream?” the first robber asked.
“That’s the one,” Gags said, trying to keep a straight face.
Barry poked the first robber in the ribs. “You fools. Now he knows my name and where we are from.”
“Aren’t we going to kill them?” the second robber asked.
“Have you ever killed a man?” Barry asked. “I haven’t.”
Barry took his straw hat off. “This didn’t work out so well. I’ll get my horse and move the log.”
“First, tell me why you are trying to rob us?” Gags asked.
The driver’s head poked up from the driver’s box, and Flora joined them.
“We didn’t make our quota,” the first robber said. “Our lord snatched our harvest, and we’ll have a tough time. We thought we might try highway robbery so we can eat.”
Gags rose and brushed off the back of his pants. “Can you keep a secret?”
Barry stepped forward, looking up at the considerably taller Gags. “What are you after?”
Gags laughed. “You got me! Your prank took me in. Wasn’t I, Lucian?”
Lucian caught on immediately and laughed before hitting his thigh with his hand. “You sure were!”
Gags pulled out his purse and put three golden Baxterian coins in Barry’s hand. “For your trouble entertaining us today,” Gags said. “I suggest you find something else to do or make instead of playing robbers for the entertainment of travelers. Someone else might not have caught on, and you’d be bloody and hurt rather than paid for your efforts.”
“But, but,” the first robber backed up. “That’s not…”
Barry poked his partner in crime with the blunt end of his pitching fork. “That’s too kind of you.”
He motioned for the others to help him drag the log out of the way. “Sorry to have delayed you,” Barry said.
“No problem. We take our amusement wherever we can find it,” Lucian said. “Onward, driver!”
The driver wasted no time, snapping his reins as soon as the road cleared.
Flora burst into laughter. “That was wonderful. How did you know they would follow along?” she asked.
“I didn’t,” Gags said. “We were weaponless, and those tools had never seen a fight before, so I figured they were first-timers. Luckily, they didn’t shy away and told me their problem.”
“But you gave them money,” Flora said.
“I did. Their lord, who is responsible for maintaining his fief, isn’t doing the job of caring for his people. They needed a little help.”
“A gold guilder is more than what they will make off a good harvest,” Flora said.
“Good for them. I was entertained once we got to talking,” Gags said.
Lucian laughed. “They would have been willing to unhitch the horses and pull the carriage if you asked them nicely.”
“Let’s hope they know what to do with their little treasure. Hopefully, they won’t try that again. Any decent swordsman would have cut them to ribbons,” Gags said.
The carriage got up to speed and soon reached a village nestled on the other side of the valley.
“This is the one,” Flora said.
She directed the driver to a presentable-looking pub with a large stableyard.
“This is the first waystation heading south from Baxterton,” Flora said. “We will have an early dinner here.”
“Is the establishment on your list?”
Flora blushed. “No.”
Gags didn’t believe her, but they walked in. The characteristic smell of Baxterian cooking filled the air. Gags enjoyed the food, which was served family-style with generous portions.
Flora dabbed at her mouth when the meal was over. She looked at Gags with a funny expression. “You don’t put weight on like a regular person. Are you a…”
“Magician?” Gags asked.
She nodded her head. Her expression didn’t entirely hide a look of fear.
“Yes. Lucian and I are both magicians. We both served together in the magicians army on Atto. And yes, I could have taken the peasants apart with or without magic,” Gags said.
“Then why were you so gentle with them?” Flora said, astonished.
“I truly am a fief-holder. I want my people to succeed and be happy. Why would I punish three men who barely know the business end of a pick?”
“You are noble.”
Gags laughed, feeling a bit embarrassed. “No need to hurt someone who doesn’t deserve it. Let there be no mistake. I was ready to defend you and the carriage if they hadn't answered my questions correctly.
“What about me?” Lucian asked.
“You know how to defend yourself,” Gags said. “I’d rather you not spread that around. We understand Baxterians are leery of magicians.”
“We are indeed. You might not have gotten the same reaction from most,” Flora said.
Lucian laughed. “Some welcome. Don’t worry; we will behave if you do. Lord Pearton knows we were soldiers, just not what kind.”
“I suppose so,” Flora said.
Two carriages clattered past the pub and into the yard. Six passengers entered the pub along with four guards and the two drivers. One of the passengers, a middle-aged woman, noticed Flora and sat at their table.
“We were just leaving,” Flora said, pointing to the meal's remains on her plate.
“No worries. These are your latest lords?” the woman asked.
“They are. They’ve been behaving, so I thought they deserved a ride in the country.”
The woman leaned closer. “Did you run into any trouble?”
“No. None at all,” Flora said with half a smile.
The woman leaned back. “Good. There have been rumors of unrest.”
“You seem well protected,” Flora said, glancing at the guards.
“The riders scare most of them off. Luckily, we didn’t have a problem coming from Pulleasy Town,” the woman said.
Gags thought Baxter needed a protection agency, but so far, he wouldn’t think he’d ever want to expand into Oroia.
“I’d better be off. Give my regards to your mother.” The woman stood and curtseyed to Gags and Lucian before she rejoined her party.
“No trouble?” Lucian asked Flora.
“None. You saved the locals,” she said with a smile.
Gags and Lucian walked around the village while Flora freshened up for the ride back to the capital.
“This village has a more oppressive feel than Baxterton,” Lucian said
“Reminds me of Attoan villages ruled by wizards,” Gags said.
Lucian nodded. “I can see that.”
“Let’s step into that shop,” Gags said, pointing to a general store. “Have any maps?” he asked the shopkeeper.
Maps from where to where?” the shopkeeper said.
“Baxter, Oroia, and a street map of Baxterton,” Lucian said.
“You read my mind,” Gags said.
“Here you are. I have a few,” the shopkeeper said.
Gags could tell which ones were better and made the purchase. He folded the maps up and put them down his shirt.
“I buy them for warmth,” Gags said.
“I could sell you something much better than paper,” the shopkeeper said.
“But then he couldn’t tell where he was going,” Lucian said with a smile.
They returned to the pub and found Flora having a few more words with her mother’s friend.
“We are ready to go back,” Lucian said.
“Good. It will be dark by the time we reach Baxterton.”
“Then we wouldn’t want to talk robbers out of robbing us in the dark, would we, Gags?” Lucian said.
Chapter Six
~
L ord Raymond arrived as Gags, and Lucian ate breakfast.
“Do you want to join us?” Lucian asked.
Their minder looked at the plates and sat down. “I will accept your offer.”
“What is going on today?”
“Final fittings for the ball,” Lord Raymond said.
Gags groaned. “Will we have to be measured again?”
Raymond shook his head. “They have your measurements, so the fitting checks if the clothes look right. I heard you had an adventure yesterday.”
Gags looked at Lucian but didn’t respond until the silence demanded an answer. “The luncheon?”
Their minder nodded his head. “You met our former prime minister and his clique.”
“Is that what they were,” Lucian said. “They weren’t just Golden Shields?”
Lord Raymond shook his head. “No, but most of them were. I won’t ask you what you talked about.”
“We were sworn to secrecy,” Lucian said.
“As expected. I also know what he would ask you, and I won’t insult you by asking.”
“We also took a short trip to the countryside,” Gags said.
“So Flora said.” The minder smiled as his breakfast arrived. “Anything happen?”
“We ate at a carriage stop,” Lucian said. “The food is heartier than in Baxterton.”
The minder nodded while chewing. “It’s meant to be after riding in a carriage for hours,” Raymond said. “Any other observations?”
“The ecology is different from Baxterton,” Gags said. “I was surprised by the lush growth.”
Raymond made a face. “I grew up farther inland, but it is just as bad there as where you ate dinner. Did anything else happen?”
Gags looked at Raymond, trying to probe them again, but Gags ignored the episode with the locals if they were locals. Gags talked about Flora running into a woman who knew her mother.
“What kind of family is Flora from?”
“She is too old for you,” Raymond said.
“Perhaps not too old for you?” Lucian asked.
“I am happily married to a loving wife and three happy children,” Raymond said.
Raymond pushed his empty plate away from him and stood. “Let’s go. I have finished answering enough of your questions. I hope you didn’t eat so much that your new clothes will be too tight.”
“Not at all,” Lucian said.
The fitting went as expected. Gags needed his sleeves shortened to let the cuffs extend to the proper length, and Lucian’s tummy had expanded a little, but not enough for alterations. Lucian knew how to reduce his weight in a hurry.
Gags wondered if Flora had told Raymond about their magic. He would play coy as long as possible.
The rest of the day was spent in their royal jail. Raymond told them there would be a party in the evening after dinner. He also pointed out that a guard in noble clothes was stationed in the lobby and one in rougher clothes in the stableyard.
“I’m going to inspect both of our rooms,” Gags said. “We should compare the maps before they are discovered.”
They started in Lucian’s room. Gags invoked his night sight and pointed where the listener was. There were two listening stations in his room, so Gags pointed to the connecting door, and both went into Lucian’s rooms. The doors were closed, and Gags put a coat rack over the listening hole in case they could see inside. From what he could tell, no one sat behind the thin areas.
Gags grabbed the maps, and they laid them out on the card table in Lucian’s suite.
“Baxterton, first,” Gags whispered.
The missing areas had more lanes and alleys with less space between the streets. It was apparent there were poorer sections of the city that would be explored if and when they lost Lord Raymond as a minder.
The next map was of Baxter, and clearly, the earlier map was fiction. Mountains and roads were in different areas with more towns. Gags and Lucian spent more time memorizing the way to and from Lord Browning’s estate that was prominently marked on the map.
Weatherstream was miles away from where they stopped for an early dinner, making it impractical for the local robbers to choose that point in the road to attack them. Gags was disappointed that his masterful handling of the situation was probably faked, but he hoped the three men enjoyed the wordplay as much as Lucian and he had, fake or not.
Oroia was primarily a fiction, too. There were more settlements on the coastline, which meant more ways to get off Oroia if they had to flee Baxter. There weren’t many roads on the map, but it would be easy to head north wherever they were and bump into the ocean.
Gag’s eyes were getting tired.
“Enough of this game,” he said loudly for the benefit of any listeners. “Let’s have an early lunch.”
They folded up the new maps and hid them in Lucian’s room while Gags put the fake maps back where he had hidden them.
~
Raymond joined them for dinner, dressed as well as they.
“You get to hobnob with the nobility tonight?” Lucian said.
“I am part of the nobility, as it happens. My wife will meet us there,” Lord Raymond said. “She will be introducing you to eligible young ladies.”
Lucian rolled his eyes. “A butcher shop and we are selecting our meat.”
“I wouldn’t be so crass as to say that,” Lord Raymond said, “but that is it, essentially.”
Lord Raymond was more amiable than usual, and they soon walked up the steps to another mansion on the road to the palace.
Ray produced three cards and gave them to the butler before they were announced to the attendees in the mansion’s ballroom. Tables were set up on the periphery as an orchestra played Baxterian tunes.
