A Spell Misplaced, page 18
part #4 of Gags & Pepper: Protection Agents Series
“If there is a Baxterton left,” Eno said. “Civil wars are not kind to the living.”
“Atto has had its share,” Gags said. “The magicians war was an extended civil war over many kingdoms and fiefs.”
“You have the time to tell me all about it,” Otto said.
Chapter Eighteen
~
O tto and Ann knew Baxterian culture, but only Otto knew how people outside Baxter lived. Before they mounted, Gags gave him the map of Oroia.
“Show us the route, please,” Gags said.
Otto took his time and then began to trace a line toward Castlewhit. Amering fief wasn’t on the map, but he tapped his finger on Codgerton. “This is the seat of Amering fief,” Otto said. “Castlewhit is dangerous, and Amering is worse, but getting there isn’t so bad.”
“Why is Castlewhit so dangerous?” Lucian asked.
“Visitors need permission,” Otto said. “It is almost impossible to get it.”
“And if we sneak in?”
“You can’t turn around in Castlewhit without an identity plaque, and in Amering, you need another. If you are found without a plaque, you get shipped off to a mine.”
“And you’ve found this out from personal experience?” Gags asked.
“Of course not, but Tom,” Otto paused to take a deep breath, “and I crossed Oroia nine times. We avoided Castlewhit, but there are other kingdoms almost as bad. Few kingdoms allow free entry and exit unless you are a merchant.”
“Should we be merchants?” Lucian asked.
“It takes referrals and years of experience or some extraordinary act of valor.”
“Then we will be valorous,” Gags said. “What do you think, Eno?”
“Will an act of valor get me back to Atto?”
“If we work on it,” Gags said.
“We won’t make much progress if we continue blathering about valor,” Ann said before giving the four men a sweet smile.
They mounted, and Otto led them on the road north of the rocks and south of Admiral West’s estate. They stopped at a village. Only Lucian and Otto went in with a packhorse and came out with camping supplies and dinner from the only pub in town.
The food was edible, but Gags and Otto were the only ones who finished their portions. At least no one went to bed hungry. Otto found a clearing often used as a camp, and after a night in the open, when the first words out of Eno’s mouth were complaints about the cool night, they were back on the road.
Otto stopped at a signpost on the side of the road.
“When we pass that, we are out of Baxter. If anyone wants to return to Baxterton, now is the time.”
No one said a thing, and Otto led them across the border. Gags had to hope Miria lay on the far side of their journey across Oroia.
“We are now in the queendom of Goldworthy,” Otto said. “As long as Ann is treated kindly, we will be fine since Goldworthy is a matriarchy ruled by Queen Mariam.
“I have met her,” Ann said, “when she came to Baxterton on a state visit. Otto is right. They are sensitive about male dominance. I just have to play myself, and you are my retinue.”
“Can we get a pass to Castlewhit in Goldworthy?” Gags asked.
“I don’t know,” Otto said, “and I don’t know how we will get plaques, but we have perhaps four or five days of travel to get them.”
A few hours later, they trotted into the town of Daisy Bend. Gags thought the town had a different feel, but he couldn’t figure out why.
“This is a women’s town,” Lucian said. “Hardly any men.”
“Do you have a problem with that?” Ann asked.
Lucian shrugged. “Should I?” he said with a smirk.
“I find it refreshing,” she said.
“I find it odd, but then, I am a man,” Gags said. He turned to Otto. “Have you been here before?”
“Not in Daisy Bend,” Otto said, “but Goldworthy is like this. The roles seem to be reversed, but all is not what it seems. I’ll leave you to discover how I suspect Daisy Bend works.”
“Can four men and a woman find a place to eat?” Eno asked.
“You sound like Gags,” Lucian said.
“There is a restaurant,” Otto said.
They tied their horses outside.
An armed man stood at the door with his arms folded.
“You are with this lady?” he asked Eno.
“We are,” Eno said, sneaking a glance at Gags.
Nodding to the guard, who stepped aside as they walked through, the group followed a man who led them to a table and asked them to stand. He left them for a moment and returned with a padded chair, larger than the other three.
“You may sit here,” the man said. “Women are esteemed in Daisy Bend.”
“As they are elsewhere in Goldworthy?” Ann asked.
“Indeed,” the man bowed and left them.
A boy not yet in his teens gave them a sheet of paper with the day’s menu. It was limited. Three entrees and five snacks. There was no alcohol to order.
“I would like some wine,” Eno said. “I don’t see any on here.”
The serving boy looked at Ann. “Is this permitted?”
Ann pursed her lips to keep from smiling. “Of course not!” she said.
The boy turned to Eno. “Your lady has spoken. Do you have any questions about the menu?”
Eno frowned and stared at the few choices. “Is anything good?” he asked.
“Customers have ordered everything on the menu,” the boy said.
“More than once? What is popular?” Lucian asked.
“The duck is favored by men and the veal by ladies,” the boy said.
There wasn’t any duck or veal on the menu.
“What about our choices for the day?”
The boy shuffled his feet and looked out the window, avoiding their gaze. “Everything is good.”
Gags rose from his feet and walked through the restaurant. Some people stared, but his investigation ended, and he sat down.
“The fish is good, but I think the pork is better. The salad is good, but the bean bites or whatever they are don’t look appealing,” Gags said. He looked at the boy, who shrugged.
“You don’t know how to read, do you?” Gags asked gently.
“My kind doesn’t get to learn,” the boy said.
“And what is your ‘kind,’” Ann asked.
“I’m not a girl.”
“Girls get to read, and boys don’t?” Lucian asked.
“That’s my life,” the boy said.
They were drawing disapproving stares from men and women, so Gags stopped talking. “It’s time to take our orders.”
Eno asked for fish. Everyone else opted for the pork. The boy asked to confirm their orders, not writing anything down, and left.
A woman marched out of the back and stood, red-faced, at their table. “I won’t have you putting odd ideas in the head of my staff.”
Gags looked around and noticed looks of approval.
“He is the head of your staff?” Lucian said with a smirk.
“Out! Out all of you except for the lady. Go on, now.” She put her hands on her hips and stood there tapping her foot until Eno, Lucian, Gags, and Otto walked out of the restaurant.
“I think I will stay,” Ann said, winking at Lucian.
The four of them clustered at the front door. The guard narrowed his eyes and put his hand on the sword at his waist.
“I wouldn’t get any ideas,” Otto said to the guard. “Two of the three fought wizards in the magicians war.”
The guard took a step back. “I’m here to keep the peace,” the guard said.
Lucian put his face in front of the guard. “And the peace starts with you,” he said in fine Pophius fashion.
Gags pressed his lips together to keep from smiling. He thought Otto was menacing enough. They stepped off the sidewalk onto the unpaved road that served as Daisy Bend’s main street.
Otto looked at the buildings on both sides. “I don’t see another restaurant or a pub, but there is a general store. We can get something to eat while waiting for our investigator to investigate.”
“That’s my Annie,” Lucian said.
Gags turned to Lucian. “I don’t recall your ever calling Ann by that name.”
Lucian shrugged. “It’s my first time.”
“Ask her if she likes it, so it isn’t your last time calling her anything,” Gags said.
“Oh. I see,” Lucian said. “I was carried away by the situation.”
“Do you need a few rocks in your pocket to keep you on the ground?” Gags said.
Clever,” Lucian said sarcastically. “Eat. Let’s eat.” He pushed Gags and Eno toward the store. Lucian didn’t touch Otto, and Gags wouldn’t have either.
The store was run by a woman, of course. Three boys endured the women’s orders, and she never showed a hint of consideration. These were even younger than the young lad in the restaurant.
“Passing through?” the woman said.
“Baxter to Goldworthy to Castlewhit.”
“There are a couple of other countries you’ll pass between Castlewhit and us,” the woman said. “You’ve noticed we do things differently in Goldworthy?”
“Each country has its own way of doing things,” Otto said. “In Baxter, the nobility is supreme, and here….”
“Women rule the roost and have done so for seven generations. We are making it, so men don’t have a chance to abuse us again,” the woman said.
“When men ruled Goldworthy, did they turn all the females into illiterates?” Gags asked.
The shopkeeper frowned. “No. But we won’t make the mistakes they have. I want you to leave as soon as you’ve paid,” she said, looking slightly fearful.
Just entering her teen years, like the boy in the restaurant, a girl sat on a barrel as if it were her queenly throne.
The shopkeeper gave the girl Otto’s list, and she called the boys around her, issuing instructions on what to bring. Occasionally, one of the boys would carry a tin or bottle and ask her to read it as Gags looked on. He thought the process an enormous waste of time. Why not teach the boys to read?
They waited longer than they intended, but the shopkeeper shooed them out of the store when the order was finished.
“No eating outside in Daisy Bend,” a uniformed woman warned as Eno was about to grab something out of the box. “That is what the restaurant is for.”
“And we were told to leave that place,” Eno said.
“The solution is simple. Leave the village, and then you can gobble everything down as quick as you like,” the woman guard said.
Lucian snatched the offending item from Eno’s hand and put it back in the box. “We will happily do as you say. We wouldn’t want to disturb the sensibilities of your villagers.”
“I’m glad you see it that way. It is a good idea to leave now,” the woman said.
“The lady accompanying us hasn’t finished inside the restaurant,” Gags said.
“Is she from Goldworthy?”
“Baxter,” Otto said.
The woman snorted. “Make sure you tell her the rules.”
Otto secured the box to one of the packhorses, and Ann exited the restaurant, shaking her head. Gags noticed the guard at the door scowling as she passed.
“Let’s get out of here,” Ann said. “I’ve never felt more unwelcome in my life.”
“Is that because you’re a noble?” Gags asked.
“No, it’s because I’m a human, and everyone needs to be treated with dignity, at least in a public setting. I peeked into the kitchen, and all the workers were children. Only the girls have been taught anything. The boys are helpers,” Ann said. Her voice was full of disgust. “What do adults do here?”
“Boss everyone around, at least the female half,” Lucian said.
Eno kept his eye on the crate with the food. “Can we leave now?” he asked.
“I’m ready,” Ann said.
They left the town. Gags was curious about home life, but perhaps there wasn’t much when the children had to perform all the labor.
Stopping half an hour later, they untied the box and began eating. Ann watched them. “At least the food was hot and edible,” she said, looking at a bag of pastries. “I wouldn’t mind something sweet.”
Lucian offered her the pick of the pastries, and Ann closed her eyes. “Something sweet to offset the sour taste left by Daisy Bend,” he said.
Chapter Nineteen
~
T he next two villages were much the same, but it wasn’t dinnertime yet. They reached a town, and Gags was disappointed to see the same phenomenon of all the women on the street.
He gave Ann his purse. “Rooms for us, please. I don’t think we’ll be treated as well as you.”
The four men stood back as Ann talked to the young woman at the front desk.
“You will have to go to the men’s dormitory that faces the stable,” Ann said. “The dormitory has its own dining room where you can get breakfast.” She handed them the keys. “You may not like it, but that is the way it is in Goldworthy.”
Gags didn’t expect much, given his recent experience in the queendom, and he wasn’t disappointed. He was tired enough that the thin mattress of the bed didn’t matter, and when he went to breakfast, he could eat all the bland mush and water that he could down.
Everyone was happy to leave. Ann said she was tired of being served by illiterate young boys who had to memorize the menu and serve mediocre food. Baxter was much better, even in the commoner restaurants she had tried.
Gags wondered if those commoner restaurants took noble stipends.
Their next evening would be spent in the capital. Otto admitted he had never visited the capital of Sweetwood and didn’t know what to expect. The story was the same in each village and town until they reached the walls of Sweetwood.
The capital was the only walled habitation in the kingdom so far. Gags wasn’t a fan of the light green wash on the walls. The guards weren’t all women in the capital, which was a good thing; however, the streets were dominated by female pedestrians with a new wrinkle. The men in any group walked two or three steps behind the women, even if there was only one female in a group.
Otto took the lead, followed by Ann riding by herself. The three magicians followed. It was a procession, and although it looked stupid to Gags, the pedestrians that noticed them looked impressed.
The plan was to travel through the city and out the other side. They had one more night they would spend in the open air before leaving Goldworthy. Gags was anxious to leave the city and regretted not finding a way to circumvent the capital.
When they reached the main square with a palace along one side, their progress was stopped by a squad of women wearing dress uniforms.
“Lady Pearton?” the woman with the gaudiest uniform asked.
“Yes?” Ann said. Gags was surprised she could make a simple word sound so imperious.
“Our queen would like to visit before you proceed.”
Ann looked in control, but Gags felt nervous stopping in an unpredictable country. At least they didn’t seek him out.
“We are heading east toward Castlewhit,” she said.
“The queen won’t take too much of your time.”
Ann turned to look at them with a hopeless expression which vanished as soon as she twisted back.
“Very well. I haven’t seen Queen Mariam in years,” she said.
The squad bracketed Gags’s group and led them through the palace gates and into a spotless courtyard. All the trees and bushes were young, and the palace looked new.
“Your escort will be fed while you are visiting the queen.”
“I’d like to take one of my guards into the palace,” Ann said.
“Which one?”
Ann pointed to Lucian, who shrugged.
“It isn’t my fault she picked me,” Lucian said.
“Yes, it is,” Gags said. “It’s your fault Ann is with us. Remind her to be an investigator.”
Gags dismounted with the rest and watched Ann and Lucian, who followed dutifully behind his fiancée.
“What now?” Eno asked.
“We eat,” Otto said.
“As long as it isn’t gruel,” Eno said, hunching his shoulders as if he tasted something too sour.
They were led around back by a young boy dressed as a stablehand.
“You will be eating in the servant’s dining room. It is a little early for our next meal, but I’ll show you the way.
Gags fell in at the boy’s side. “Can you read?”
The boy laughed. “All the palace servants can read. Can I read well?” He shook his head. “Once we have a basic understanding, the lessons stop. You’ve noticed that’s the way we do things in Goldworthy?”
“We have,” Gags said.
“It’s not like that in Baxterton, is it?” the boy asked.
“No. I’m from Peria, and the older man is from Atto. Both men and women are given the same opportunity to learn. Not all take it.”
“I would,” the boy said. “I’d like to do more with my life, like in the stories I read when I learned my letters. I’m not allowed to read stories anymore.” He put his hand to his mouth. “I’m not supposed to talk to strangers.”
Gags let the boy walk ahead. They went through a dirty door that went to the stables. The palace was a strange place. They were shown to a plain room with white walls and no windows with benches around a large table.
“I will tell the kitchen you are here,” the boy said, giving them a little bow before he left.
“He won’t be here long if he’s that free with his tongue,” Otto said.
“Poor kid.” Gags shook his head. “Males are slaves, and females are masters.”
“On purpose,” Eno said. He had been silent all the way through the city. “My apprentice talked about turning Gaolong into a place like Goldworthy. That is about the time I was turned into a unicorn.”
“Did you ever think about running away?” Gags asked.
