A Spell Misplaced, page 5
part #4 of Gags & Pepper: Protection Agents Series
“So, we won’t be used?” Gags asked.
Lord Pearton raised his eyebrows. “How astute. I wouldn’t put it quite that way, but you mentioned it. Other alliances cross the lines, and it would be better if King David tried to calm the divisions, but….” Pearton shrugged.
“I’m of royal blood, and Gags isn’t,” Lucian said. “Will that be a problem?”
“You are special cases. We have no dukes in Baxter, so from a title standpoint, you outrank all but King David’s immediate family in the nobility, Duke Vingus.”
“Gags. Lord Gags if you need to paste on a title.”
Pearton smiled. “Then Lord Gags. There is another, more important, thing you should know. I assume you read your agreements?”
“The Provision of Services?” Lucian asked. “There is a service that we don’t know about.”
Lord Pearton couldn’t keep from smiling. “This is serious, but you two are so smart. I am impressed, but you won’t like what I’m about to say. One of the services is that you both commit to marrying a noble lady. Prince Lucian can marry a girl of royal lineage, and Lord Gags,” Pearton nodded to Gags as if to bow, “would normally marry a girl of noble lineage, but that can be waived.”
“How can you not disclose that?” Lucian said.
Gags restrained him from rising from his chair, but he was interested in the answer.
“The agreement has vague language for that reason, but in Baxter, all the nobles understand what living off a royal stipend means.”
“Then we will return everything we’ve purchased and pay for whatever the kingdom has spent,” Lucian said.
“It isn’t that easy,” Lord Pearton said. “You signed the agreement.”
“So, we have to marry some 40-year-old spinsters?” Lucian asked.
“No. You get to choose among the eligible young women. There are quite a few candidates the right age.”
Gags shook his head. “Age is only part of it.”
Lord Pearton chuckled. “And you get to choose.”
“But we have to choose?” Lucian asked.
Pearton nodded. “My daughter is one of the candidates. She is a bit too independent and unruly for a proper young lady but give her a chance.”
“I suppose I’ll have to give all of them a chance,” Lucian said.
“The selection might be simpler than you think,” Lord Pearton said.
The food was served, and Lord Pearton looked relieved after his dinner arrived, giving him a chance to eat rather than talk.
“What about my selection?” Gags asked, his heart sinking. His sense of honor and propriety was fighting with his sense of indignation. If worse came to worse, he could run off, leaving a wife and a letter of divorce, if that was what they did in Baxter. He was sure that Lucian was thinking along the same lines.
“My daughter has a friend, but there are things my daughter has done that….” The lord waved his hand, signaling he didn’t want to discuss it. “Her name is Valerie West. Her father is not a royal, although her deceased mother was. Admiral West is Lord of the Admiralty and is a Manxist. I’m sure there is enough ambiguity that you could choose Valerie. She is a good-looking girl but is different from Ann. There is a ball at the end of the week where you can meet them.”
“What if we don’t go to the ball?” Lucian asked.
Lord Pearton sighed. “Unless you are on your deathbed, you will be forced to attend. I don’t recommend being overly rebellious at this juncture of your joining us. Not attending anything you are invited to is a sign of rebellion.”
“Are we in trouble with you?” Gags asked. “It seems that not everyone would be happy with the current arrangement.
“The objections have faded somewhat. All this rigamarole of the stipend and bringing in non-Baxterian nobles have been put into place by the last two kings. Lord Gerald Penn, the current prime minister, fully supports King David’s current situation, but there was a little friction before Lord Benjamin retired.” Lord Pearton wagged his finger. “No more politics. I’ll freely answer any questions that you have about Baxter.”
“Are we to be drones until we are married?” Lucian asked.
“Even after, I’m afraid. The state pays for everything. It is hard to spend all your stipend. After marriage, however, you can apply for positions at the Auxiliary.”
“Like our minder?” Gags asked.
“Lord Raymond?”
“He’s a lord, too?”
“Lord Raymond used to be in the army, but he developed a lung condition. He is rather good at his job, isn’t he? I snatched him up before anyone else could,” Lord Pearton said. “I have to slip him, and my other key employees merchandise paid for out of my stipend. It doesn’t matter to me, but it does to them.”
“What about normal citizens?”
Pearton smiled, but this time there wasn’t any humor behind it. “They fend for themselves, and I often wish I was born a commoner. Please don’t tell anyone else that. My colleagues know, of course, but I’m here to suggest one of you choose my daughter. It’s my prerogative since I am the Minister of Rites and Protocols. Rank, and all that.”
Gags asked Pearton questions about his maps, mentally filling them in. There were plenty of ports on the northern edge of Oroia, but not all jurisdictions were peaceful or kind to strangers. Gags didn’t consider what King David was doing to Lucian and him kindness, but at this point, it was peaceful.
“You’ll have the time to get proper maps. If you want to examine accurate ones, Flora can show you the ministry’s collection.
Lord Pearton left them with a half-eaten meal.
Lucian stared at the minister’s plate. “You wouldn’t dare.”
“Wouldn’t I?” Gags said with a grin.
Chapter Five
~
A fter a night of nightmares of having to marry Narcissia Hedgewhistle, the hunting manor’s evil former housekeeper, Gags woke with half a mind to leave on Seppius’s ship. He met Lucian in the dining room for breakfast.
He looked at the residents of the Royal Inn with some disdain. Drones, Lucian called them. He wouldn’t be a drone since he wouldn’t consider abandoning Miria after years of promising to rescue her. Gags was disgusted that he was having these thoughts, but the prospect of being forced into marriage rattled him.
A uniformed woman walked into the dining room from the foyer. She looked smart in her navy blue and yellow piping. She produced two envelopes, gave one to each of them, and bowed before handing out more to those in the room. Gags didn’t think the woman said a word.
Lucian twisted around to watch her flit from table to table, making her deliveries.
“She’s like a navy-blue bumblebee flitting from flower to flower,” Lucian said with a grin. He looked down at the envelope. “Shall we see what kind of honey she has left behind?”
“The ball that Lord Pearton mentioned,” Gags said. He couldn’t keep his words from sounding dispirited.
“An opportunity to see Baxterian nobility in all its glory,” Lucian said. He didn’t even open his and slapped it on the table. “Fancy dress, too, I’ll bet. I never went to those at home.”
The minder, Lord Raymond, spotted them and rushed to their table. “A luncheon today. You will meet Lord Browning and other men that are your peers in Baxterton.” His eyes drifted to the invitations. “I’m sure you noticed the ball will be fancy dress?”
Gags nodded. “I’ve never been to a fancy dress….” He stopped mid-sentence. “Is fancy dress like wearing court clothes?”
Lucian nodded. “It is.”
“Mostly. Perhaps a little more ostentatious,” Raymond said. “I’ve arranged a time for a fitting. Your new clothes will be ready before the ball.”
Gags sighed. He would be sighing from that moment until when the ball ended. “When do we get fitted?”
“In a quarter-hour. Hurry with your breakfast. I’ll be waiting outside, holding the coach I’ve procured.” Lord Raymond scurried away.
Gags quickly finished his breakfast and was disappointed when Lucian finished his.
“No leftovers this time, my friend,” Lucian said as they rose and let Lord Raymond open the carriage door for them.
They had visited this particular clothesmaker before. They stopped at the ornate shop and went in.
Since Gags and Lucian had been fitted before, they argued with the woman, who insisted they take new measurements.
“You military men. Always want a certain cut. Well, it won’t look very dashing on the dance floor,” she said.
“Military men?” Lord Raymond asked.
“Certainly. I’ve fitted enough of them to know exactly what they want.”
“Then that is what you’ll provide,” Lucian said. “I’m not interested in doing much dancing. Since I’m not a Baxterian, I won’t know any of the dances.”
“Me, too,” Gags said.
Gags slipped the woman a gold coin while Raymond asked Lucian about military service.
“Very well,” she said a few minutes later while taking measurements. “You’ll have to take what I give you.” She winked at Gags, and Gags hoped she wasn’t fooling him.
After the fitting, it was time to head to a restaurant for lunch. Gags did his reconnoitering as he walked into a private room. Eight men stood chatting, and the table was set for sixteen. Gags was sure this restaurant was on his list, and he wasn’t encouraged by the plates he passed. The portions were too modest to satisfy him, but such were the sacrifices he had to make while on his mission to save Miria.
Lord Raymond introduced them. All seemed amazed that the docks of Baxterton would produce a prince and a duke, even ones as young as Lucian and Gags. They were among the youngest diners. Gags didn’t remember all the names, but Paul Browning wasn’t one of them.
The door opened, and a fit man of early middle years swept in, followed by three others.
“We can be seated now,” one of the original eight said. Lucian was put at one end of the table and Gags at the other, with Paul Browning sitting at the end.
“And you are?” Lord Browning asked Gags.
“Vingus Gags, Duke of the Hosandian fiefs of Yearsend Vale, Karkle Cross, and Hardcastle,” Gags said.
“A duke! We don’t have any in Baxter.” In a louder voice, Browning said, “Perhaps we should talk King David into promoting a few of us so Duke Vingus won’t feel so alone.”
The room laughed, and Lucian shrugged.
“Your friend?” Lord Browning asked Gags.
“May I present Prince Lucian Rapper of the kingdom of Yellow River.”
“A prince! You two are distinguished gentlemen or at least men of Peria. Middle Peria, if I remember correctly. I’m unfamiliar with your fief, Duke Vingus, but I think I know where Bashing is. It is Bashing, isn’t it?”
“It is?” Gags made his reply a question since Browning hadn’t introduced himself.
Lord Browning nudged the person on the other side from Gags.
The man looked at Browning, who glared. “Oh! May I present his esteemed Lord Paul Browning, our noble lord of Temperton fief?”
“I am pleased to meet you, Lord Browning.”
“I go by Count Browning,” the lord waved his hand dismissively.
Gags guessed he wasn’t going to be a friend, but there was information to be had, so Gags tried to be as genial as he could.
“I understand there is a Noble Retreat on your estate in a few weeks?”
“You are invited, of course. It is a tedious event, but one must do what one must for the greater good,” Browning said.
Gags had thought Browning would be intelligent and arrogant, but so far, Browning was stupid and arrogant.
“What is there of interest on your estate?” Gags asked.
“I have the best conservatory of flora on Oroia. Rare flowers and plants from Atto, Peria, and even Caless. Alas, plants from Dixoia have never made it intact. You might be more interested in my zoo. My zoo includes a recent addition, unicorns.” Browning raised his hand, although Gags didn’t say anything. “I know you may think they are myths, but I have a unicorn. Word has it that an Attoan wizard created the beast. You might also appreciate the other equine curiosities that I have acquired.”
“I have heard stories from magician soldiers about a unicorn created by the Attoan wizard Eno Banban.”
“Oh, you know his name!”
“Her name. She masqueraded as a man, but she was killed by the magicians army.”
Browning frowned. “Pity. Think of all the oddities such a person could create.” He raised his finger. “Make sure to find me at the retreat, and I will personally give you a tour.”
And that was the extent of Browning’s attention to Gags. The interchange was complete. Browning ignored Gags and Lucian for the remainder of lunch. Gags didn’t mind the food, but he thought the proportions were hardly enough to feed a young boy or girl.
Browning rose, insisting that all rise with him, and left with his two friends before dessert had been served. Gags resisted commenting on the man, not knowing which comment might make it to Browning’s ears.
The lunch was over, and Gags realized they were close to the market where he met Noria.
“Lord Raymond, there is a market nearby, and I would like to go. We can walk since it isn’t far.”
“You wish to meet with your fellow Perians?” Lord Raymond asked.
“I do, and Gags does,” Lucian said.
Their escort frowned. “I heard Seppius Darkman sailed for Veilport this morning on the outgoing tide,” Lord Raymond said.
“I don’t believe it!” Lucian blurted.
“Let’s go to the docks and make sure,” Raymond said, hailing the carriage they had used to go to the restaurant.
Raymond took them the length and breadth of the harbor. Seppius’s ship was gone.
“That’s disappointing,” Gags said.
“I’m sure it is, but the Baxterton docks are used to it. Ships come in and out quickly. We always have cargoes ready to go anywhere, especially for merchants like Seppius Darkman,” Raymond said.
Gags had a sinking feeling about the process being sped up just for him and Lucian. “Very well. I’d like to return to the market. The lunch wasn’t quite enough for me.”
“You can fill up at the Royal Inn,” Lord Raymond said. He knocked on the ceiling of the carriage and ordered it to return to the Royal Inn. “Where did you learn military skills?”
Gags wasn’t prepared for the question, but it was bound to be asked sometime with a battle-worn sword sitting in his bedroom and a bagful of crossbow bolts in a side table drawer. He hoped his staff hadn’t been discovered. He needed to have at least one secret.
“We fought in the Perian army. Both of us ran away from home. There was an action where Seppius was involved. Some felt Seppius betrayed them in Artport, and he had to leave quickly. We helped him to survive, and he decided to see what kind of return he could get in Oroia before setting up his new business in Veilport. That ship isn’t the only one he owns,” Gags said.
Raymond nodded. “How long have you been soldiers?”
“Long enough,” Lucian said, folding his arms.
The carriage was silent until it stopped at the Royal Inn.
“We will be eating in tonight, so that we won’t need your services. Have fun doing something else,” Lucian said.
“You needn’t be so short with me,” Lord Raymond said.
“Why not. Neither of us enjoys being prisoners,” Lucian said.
The tension was rising inside the carriage until Gags opened the door and pulled Lucian along as they walked into the inn.
“Temper, temper,” Gags said. “You started it with your ‘have fun doing something else.’”
Lucian grimaced. “I haven’t been that close to losing my temper since we were last in Shatterset. I lost it then.”
Gags managed to laugh. “We learned a lot today. Everything points to the Noble Retreat.”
“I can’t wait,” Lucian said, yawning. “I need a late afternoon nap. See you in the dining room at Twinkle.”
Gags laughed. “An hour before Twinkle, my friend.”
~
Another day, another luncheon. This time Flora Baker paced the lobby waiting for Gags and Lucian to arrive. Lucian was later, Gags guessed, on purpose.
“We will be late,” Flora said, her forehead shining with a thin layer of perspiration.
They climbed into the same carriage that had transported them before. “We will be visiting a mansion on the road to the palace. You will visit with a group of nobles who are members of the Golden Shield.”
“Does Lord Pearton know of this luncheon?” Gags asked.
“Perhaps,” Flora said. Her comment was clearly vague on purpose.
The carriage pulled into a gate that opened as they arrived in a large side courtyard holding six more carriages. Flora introduced them to the butler.
“I’ll be in the carriage,” she said as she left them at the door.
“This way,” the butler said.
They entered a dining room. Seven men were sitting sipping drinks. If the previous luncheon was for peers, this one was for elders, Gags thought as they were shown seats.
The oldest member stood and introduced Gags and Lucian to the group. “I am Benjamin Julius,” he began. “We are a group of concerned nobles working for the benefit of our beloved country.”
Gags guessed that Lord Benjamin was the chief beneficiary of the group’s efforts.
“I hope that you appreciate that what we discuss this afternoon will stay within these walls,” Lord Benjamin said.
“I don’t know who we would discuss them with,” Lucian said with an affected laugh.
“Fine,” Lord Benjamin said smugly and sat down. He nodded to another of the group. This one appeared to be about the same age as Lord Pearton.
“You will both be invited to join the court as ambassadors from your respective countries,” Lord Francis Victory, the king’s cousin, said. “As members of the court, you will wield influence as, under Baxterian rules, you both can promote and vote within the council of nobles.”
