In His Dreams, page 20
Finding the Lord had been the greatest gift for Marsha. She wanted Jeff to know how much it meant that he’d begun to worship with her. He’d made the first big step and, each day, she noticed a difference in his faith. He prayed at meals and talked about blessings instead of luck. Daily, she praised God for the wonder.
During the service, Marsha’s spirit lifted. Her closeness to Jeff seemed right as they sat side by side, listening to God’s Word.
When the pastor read the Old Testament scripture, she sat captivated by the thought. He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to His heart; He gently leads those that have young.
Weren’t they all like young lambs, needing the shepherd to lead them as they lost their way? Jesus gathered them in His arms close to His heart.
She thought of Jesus’ love and how the Lord had guided Jeff back to Him. She’d found comfort in the Lord’s arms and in Jeff’s strong arms. He’d held her when she’d struggled with issues and he’d cuddled her to him when her heart had overflowed with joy.
The final hymn rang to the rafters and, when the service ended, they headed toward the Sunday school to find Bonnie. She came to greet them with a new project, a cross made from Popsicle sticks that she’d painted and decorated with a flower.
Marsha held the cross while Bonnie beamed. “This is really lovely, Bon. I missed seeing your pictures. You were too busy when the company was here.”
She said thank you, then skipped off to show the project to one of the Sunday-school teachers.
While they waited, Marsha couldn’t resist asking about Bonnie’s girlfriend comment.
Jeff grinned and told her what had happened.
Marsha felt amazed at what he told her. Last night, she’d gone home with his sweet words ringing in her ears. But marriage? He’d never mentioned marriage, but then it hadn’t been Jeff but Bonnie who’d brought it up.
“I realize we haven’t discussed all of this,” Jeff said, wrapping his arm around her shoulder, “but I think it’s time.”
“We do have lots to talk about. For one, I made a decision last night, and I hope you won’t be disappointed.”
A scowl settled on his face. “What kind of decision?”
Marsha cleared her throat. “I think I’ll go back home today.”
Jeff’s eyes widened. “Home? Why?”
“Barb. I need to talk with her, and I don’t want to do it on the phone. I want to be open with her about us.”
His scowl shifted to acceptance. “I’m happy to hear you say that, but stay today. Let’s do something together. I know we’ll have Bonnie with us, but it’s the first day I’ve felt we’re a we instead of a you and me.”
The words thrilled her. “Okay, but I’ll leave tomorrow. It’ll probably take me that long to get ready, anyway.”
His eyes brightened, and he slipped her hand into his and kissed her fingers. His gentle touch rushed through her with the same sweet tenderness as his kisses.
How could she ever say no?
Jeff listened to Bonnie shuffling in the bedroom, getting ready for bed. The evening had been long. He’d taken Bonnie and Marsha to the Stoney Acre Grill for dinner, and then they’d brought pie home for dessert and sat outside to watch the sunset. The hues had spread over the water like watercolors on a wet canvas, so special he thanked God for the precious moment with the two women he loved.
Jeff sat up, remembering that Marsha would leave in the morning. He wished she’d wait, but he understood. He was pleased she wanted to talk with Barb, and he’d suggested to Bonnie they could go home early, too, but she’d been disappointed so he’d dropped the subject. They’d be leaving at the end of the week, anyway.
He patted his belly, feeling full both in body and in spirit. A long time had passed since he’d felt so complete and so ready to move on. His mind stretched back to early June when he’d run into Marsha at Daddy Frank’s. He could only shake his head, amazed at how the Lord guided people into the course He’d planned for them.
When Bonnie finally went to sleep, Jeff and Marsha walked outside and looked at the amazing sky.
“When I look at the millions of stars, I can’t imagine how anyone can deny God,” Marsha said. “They’ve hung in the same path forever. To create such a perfect system couldn’t be a coincidence. Creation takes a mind much greater than any living being.”
Jeff stepped behind her and wrapped his arms around her. “I think back and ask myself how I could have tried to deny the Lord when I knew in my heart He was there.”
She nestled closer, thrilled to hear him speak with such sincerity. “We all make mistakes, Jeff. Look at how I’ve bungled things every step of the way with my worries and need to control.”
“But you’ve changed, and so have I. I recall so many things I did wrong these past years. I wanted to prove to the world that I could be father and mother to Bonnie. Maybe it was to spite the Lord, I don’t know. It was ridiculous. I made myself so unhappy and so resentful, and I did such a disservice to Bonnie.”
“Jeff, don’t say those things about—”
“No, let me say them. I was thinking last night how my attitude also messed up our relationship. You love God with your whole heart and mind, and there I was stomping around trying to be God to myself.”
“But it worked out, Jeff. It’s over.”
“It is, and I’m so grateful. Again, I thank you for your patience, but mostly I thank God for His.”
She snuggled closer to his side. “I’m sure we all try the Lord’s patience too many times, but He always forgives us.” She paused, thinking of her own confession. “I have something to tell you.”
Beneath his furrowed brow, his questioning eyes pierced hers.
“I’ve been jealous.”
“Jealous?” His brow lifted. “Of what?”
“Al. The way you two talked so comfortably, and I realized I created such stress between us with my worries.”
Jeff brushed his cheek against her hair. “I would never let that stop me from cherishing you. We all have feelings we wish we could erase.” He looked away. “The thing I need to admit just kills me.”
He turned her body to face him and, in the dusky light from the living room, she saw his anguish. “I not only blamed God for Marilou’s death, but also I was furious at Him for giving me a daughter with a disability. I resented Bonnie after Marilou died. I felt inadequate and totally lost. I’m ashamed of that.”
Marsha rested her palms against his cheeks and looked into his pain-filled eyes. “It’s been forgiven, Jeff. Despite your feelings at that time, you love Bonnie with all your heart. You couldn’t have been a better father.”
“Sure I could have, and I am now. I’ve let her meet Jesus. That’s the best thing I’ve done besides fall in love with you.”
In love with you. Emotion charged through her. Tears tripped over her lashes and washed down her cheeks as she gazed into his eyes. “And I’ve fallen in love with you, too. I can’t believe it, but I have.”
He brushed away her tears and found her mouth, waiting for him. He explored her lips, and she listened to his breathing. She felt him shudder as his arms drew her closer. He deepened the kiss, what she’d yearned for so long, and she yielded to it, giving and taking with the greatest sense of completeness she had ever known.
“I never thought I would say those words again, but I have.” He kissed her eyes and the tip of her nose. “This is all real and true, not a dream.”
“I love you,” she whispered against his mouth.
He eased back, his eyes holding hers captive. “Marsha, I love you, and you love me. Bonnie loves us. God’s brought us together. What could make us more confident? Marsha, say you’ll marry me.”
Her mind spun. She hadn’t talked with Barb yet. His proposal happened so suddenly. What about her house? What about—She halted her silly questions. “Would you say that again? Just one more time.”
His lips lingered so near hers she could feel his breath. “I love you. Will you marry me?”
“Yes.” The word breathed on his lips. “Yes. Yes. Yes.”
“Then, let’s all go home. We have a lifetime to plan.”
Marsha shifted in the chair. “So you’re sure it’s not my meddling?”
Barb leaned back and shook her head. “Once again, it’s—”
“About you and not me.” Marsha caved into the chair cushion. Would she ever learn? “I’m sorry I asked you to move in, Barb. I didn’t realize what it would do.”
“It might have been wonderful, Marsha. Don’t kick yourself. I’m the kind of person who just needs space right now. I went through a major change up north. Truly amazing. Talking with you opened doors I never thought would open. It’s a relief, and I’ll be forever grateful that spending time with you triggered my confession.”
“You carried it alone too long.”
Barb rubbed her neck. “I didn’t even give it to the Lord. I clung to the shame as if it were a ball and chain.”
“We all do that. I talk faith, but it’s so easy to not act it. I pray every day that I learn to let go of things I can’t change.”
Thoughtful silence filled the room, and Marsha knew she still had things to say, wonderful things that hugged her thoughts.
“Ready for my surprise?”
Barb shifted her focus to her. “Why not?
“Jeff proposed.” Marsha studied Barb’s wavering expression as she told her about their talk.
Barb’s eyes widened. “Proposed? You two worked fast after I left.”
“He asked me to marry him, and I said yes.”
“And this time you’re positive?”
“As sure as I’m sitting here. I really think that God was at work in our lives.”
Barb rose and embraced Marsha. “I’m happy for you. He’s a wonderful man.”
“I’m glad you like Jeff.”
Barb stepped back. “And Bonnie. She’s an interesting girl. In that month, I saw her change so much. I think it was your influence, Marsha.”
“So does Jeff, but I think it was a lot of things. You were part of it.” Marsha walked to the window and looked onto the paved street, so different from her gravel driveway on the island.
“When’s the big day?”
“We haven’t talked about that, but I think soon. It just feels right, and we’re so much in love. We want to do everything right, and we’re both so eager to be husband and wife.”
Barb grinned. “You’d better make it real soon, then.”
The telephone’s ring cut the air.
“That’s Jeff,” Marsha said, heading for the phone. “He’s supposed to be here by now. He called me and said he’d decided to come home, too.”
She grasped the receiver and listened to the man’s request. “It’s for you, Barb.” She held out the telephone, fighting her curiosity.
Barb grasped the receiver as if the phone always rang for her. “Sounds good. I’ll be ready.”
She hung up and faced Marsha. “That was Al.”
“Al?” Marsha noticed the sparkle in Barb’s eye. “Al?”
“He’s taking me to dinner and a movie tonight.”
“Really?”
Barb laughed. “You look shocked.”
Marsha sank onto the nearest chair and shook her head. “You never date.”
“No, I didn’t, but talking to you showed me other pathways I never knew existed. I felt as if a weight lifted off my shoulders, as if I’d been washed clean and made new. An amazing feeling.”
“I shouldn’t be surprised,” Marsha said, thinking back to the cottage. “You and Al hit it off right away.”
“He’s really kind. He said something about his past and his messed-up life, and I just blurted out mine. His compassion shocked me. I never expected it from anyone who didn’t know me.”
Marsha watched her sister’s face beam. “I’m really happy. Thrilled, actually.”
“It may go nowhere, but it’s a start for me, with a Christian man I can trust.”
A rap sounded on the door, and Jeff strode in with Bonnie and a huge bouquet of flowers.
Marsha’s heart tripped.
“For you,” he said, handing her the colorful blossoms.
“I love fresh flowers.”
“I know.” He tweaked her cheek.
“How do you know? You’ve never given me flowers before.”
He grinned. “You told me once.”
“When?” Her mind shot back to the summer, and she didn’t recall flowers ever entering their conversation.
“The day you pinned a lily in Bonnie’s hair.”
Marsha gaped at him as she hugged the bouquet. “You’re kidding. You remember that? It was so long ago.”
“A wise man never forgets the important things a woman tells him.”
She laughed as she crossed the room. “Let me get these into some water.”
Marsha hurried from the room, grabbed a vase from the cabinet and filled it with water. She unwrapped the florist paper and quickly arranged the lovely bouquet in the vase.
When she returned, she set the vase on a table by the window, hearing Jeff talk about their trip home. When she neared him, he looked at her with expectancy in his eyes.
“The flowers are beautiful.” She motioned to the arrangement.
He looked at the flowers, then to her, then Barb. “She told you already.”
Seeing his disappointment, Marsha hurried forward. “I couldn’t wait. I didn’t know when you’d get here.”
Barb rose and opened her arms. “Congratulations, Jeff. I’m happy for both of you.”
“What about me?” Bonnie said, putting her hand on her hip.
“I’m happy for you, too,” Barb said. “Give me a hug.” She opened her arms and Bonnie ran into her embrace.
“You know the best part. I’ll be your aunt Barb when your dad and Aunt Marsha get married.”
“You can be my auntie Barb, and Aunt Marsha will be my new mom.”
Marsha’s heart skipped. “I will, and that’s one of the best parts of getting married.”
Jeff slipped to her side. “So, does Barb like the idea?”
“You mean, about your getting married? Yes, I do,” Barb said.
Jeff chuckled. “I didn’t mean—”
Marsha shook her head. “I haven’t told her that yet.”
“Told me what?”
He slipped his arm around Marsha’s waist. “Since we’re getting married, we hoped you’d stay here. You can either rent or buy—or rent with option to buy. Whatever works for you.”
“You mean, I won’t have to look for an apartment?” A smile lit her face.
Marsha nodded. “I’d love you to live here, Barb. I’ll still be here for a while, but that old image you had of yourself doesn’t mean anything now.”
Jeff gave her a perplexed look. “What image?”
Barb removed her arms from Bonnie, shifted behind her and rested her hands on the girl’s shoulders. “That I’m her poor spinster sister.” She eyed Marsha. “One date doesn’t change that, you know.”
Jeff’s eyebrows raised. “Date?”
Marsha gave him poke. “Al.”
“Al. Well, I’ll be. Good for you, Barb.” He strode to her side and gave her a big hug.
When he released her, he strode to Marsha’s side. “And, while we’re all together, let’s take care of one final bit of business.”
Marsha watched a sly look grow on his face. “What kind of business?”
“This kind.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small wrapped package.
She gazed at it, and he extended his arm. “It’s for you.” He closed the distance between them and placed the gift into her hand. “Open it.”
Marsha’s heart thundered as she accepted the present. “Is it—”
“It’s a ring,” Bonnie said. “It’s a diamond. Open it.”
“So much for surprises,” Marsha said, unable to hold back her laugh, and she didn’t have to. Everyone laughed with her.
Bonnie laughed, too, although Marsha guessed she had no idea why.
“Aren’t you going to open it?” Bonnie asked.
Marsha gave her a tender smile and pulled the paper from the package, to reveal a white stain box. With her heart pounding, she lifted the lid. The ring took her breath away.
“It’s beautiful, Jeff. Absolutely gorgeous.”
He stepped beside her and lifted the ring from the velvet lining, then slipped it on her finger. The large diamond flashed fire in the morning light.
“I hope you like it,” Jeff said.
“I love it,” she said, gazing at the stone with tears in her eyes, “but not as much as I love you.”
“Kiss her, Daddy,” Bonnie said, pushing him closer to Marsha. “I see them do that on TV commercials.”
Jeff grinned and pressed his lips against hers, so sweet and gentle she felt her heart soar.
“Now, me,” Bonnie said.
Marsha and Jeff hurried to her side and opened their arms in one giant bear hug.
Jeff leaned into Marsha’s ear. “This has made all my dreams come true.”
Chapter Nineteen
July 4, one year later
“Look at that sunset.” Marsha drew in a lengthy breath as she watched the colors spread across the silvery water.
“I can’t believe a whole year has passed and here we are again.” She glanced down at her diamond, sparkling in the setting sun. They’d gotten married and rented her house to Barb. Everything had fallen into place.
“It’s like time hasn’t changed a thing.”
Jeff drew her closer. “It’s not the same.”
She frowned and looked at him. “Why not?”
“Because this time you’re my wife.”
She shook her head. “You’d think I’d be ready for your silly comments, but you got me.”
“I sure do,” he said, brushing his lips across the tip of her nose, then to her mouth.
Marsha savored the kiss, knowing each gentle touch and the feel of his lips on hers. They never disappointed her.
He drew back and eyed his watch. “We should probably get down to the marina. The fireworks will start soon.”
