Once Time Passed (A Burdened Novel Book 4), page 38
I snag our sandwiches from the cooler and unwrap them. The delicious scent of honey roasted turkey wafts across Tracey’s nose, and she lurches over and barfs. I adjust to sitting at her side and rub her back while passing her a napkin.
“I just ruined everything.”
“No, you didn’t.” I pack up the food and we move to another spot. “We don’t need to eat. I’m not hungry anyway,” I say. She doesn’t want me to carry her, but she won’t mind if I hold her hand. I take hers in mind and bring it to my lips. Slowly and just a bit, I ease strength into her so she can make it to our spot.
We make it in minutes. On my release of her, there’s only enough time for us to lay out the blanket, her to get a swallow of water from the bottle, and me to set up my phone to give us some tunes.
“I’m not mad at you, Nate.”
“You should be.”
“I got a thorough warning before I said yes. I may be crazy, but I wouldn’t give us up.”
“Shh.” I lift her with me, as I stand and prop her feet on my boots. Enough of our past has come back to me and her favorites stick out in my mind.
“Is this my playlist you stole years ago?”
“Sure is.” I rock us and Tracey rests her head on my chest, barely able to keep her arms raised to my shoulder, so she cuffs them around mine.
We dance and chat until it begins to get dark. She’s falling asleep in my arms and lets me carry her. By the time we make it back to the boat, she’s knocked out.
When I row us back to land, I sit and stare at her sleeping frame. Dark circles stain her eyes, she’s lost her color, and she’s lost the weight her cheeks, in her entire body. It’s all happening too fast. Cancer doesn’t even move this fast. . . Or does it? Because this cancer called Nathan is deteriorating the life of Tracey as I breathe.
From the bag, I grab the hourglass I’ve been keeping near me, unsure of what it does. Chislon, before we left their world, mentioned her time being equal to that left in this device.
I bring it before my eyes, measuring the amount of sand versus time remaining. Exiting the boat, I stand over the rocks. Hourglass high over my head, I thrash it toward the ground. It leaves my hand and smashes. A scream follows the split of the glass, multiple scream. It remains on the rock, shattered, soon washed away by the tide.
I look to Tracey, hoping she’s better. She doesn’t. It did nothing. I did nothing but destroy a paper weight, a decorative piece thinking it was somehow tied into my wife’s life. The hell was the point of that pointless object, but to pose as another distraction?
I look back its direction, understanding. Choices. . . Had I chosen the All-seeing of Death option, it likely would’ve held weight, keeping time of other’s lives, proving me a place to reserve souls the Amelia does with her fountain. But, because I opted out, it’s a goddamn paperweight.
Crash This Train
Nathan
I’m on my knees, eye level with Tracey on the bed, trying to wake her up. She’s breathing, but dead to the world, not moving. “Come on, Sparky. Please wake up,” I beg. I’m closing in on twenty hours since I’ve been awake and she’s not twitched or spoken a word. I tap into her for the fifty sixth time, and she’s felt the same—perfectly fine. “What’s wrong with you, and how do I fix it?” I lay my head in front of hers and push my knuckles across her flushed cheek. “How on earth do I fix you?”
I’ve been at my best and I’m hating myself for it. I’ve been trying to take on her pain. Since it doesn’t want to go away, let me have it, and she can have my strength. All of it!
Dammit! I could defeat the entire world, show every doubter that Burdened Sephlems can genuinely love someone more than they love themselves, and it would all be for nothing. Nothing I do is ever enough.
My Burdened surfaces, requesting full control. I decline, explaining, I’m not leaving here until she wakes up, chill out.
It snatches the control. Seizing Tracey by her neck, it draws her close and lightly places our lips to hers. Tracey breathes and her eyes flutter. “Hmm?” she hums.
The fuck kind of Disney prince and princess shit was that?
It smacks me with a memory from something it saw on TV.
I’m shaking my head, unable to fathom when it grew a heart and started being romantic. Grant it, it worked.
Tracey’s eyes open into thin slit. “Hey beautiful. Are you feeling any better?” I ask.
Tracey nods, but she doesn’t. I don’t know why I asked. She’s weaker than ever. “I’m going to get us some answers. I won’t kill you, I promise.”
She’s passed out again. I kiss her forehead.
Chislon should be able to help me out. There’s always another way. There’s always been another way.
I find an entryway to the other realm and will an entrance. The space before me waves out like a calm ocean and gives way for me to step through it. I enter and it seals closed behind me. The sky’s a bit brighter, the darkness that once washed the land in sorrow and pain has lifted. It’s only been a couple of weeks since we left and things have definitely changed. Though with caution, the humans stroll in the day, cleaning their streets and reconstructing what they can of their homes. But they take turns, neither of them staying outside for more than five to ten minutes at a time.
As I’m walking the streets, the intentions of those nearby sink down me. They crave a safer land where they don’t fear someone will come after them. They only spend so much time outside because they don’t want to become familiar to the Qualms.
The Qualms are very present, taking the human’s place in fear.
“They are not this way all the time,” a lady says, who’s coming up beside me. I drop my gaze. She comes just to my elbow and looks up at me through gray-haired bangs that’s at her lashes. “This is why they want for you to stay. Without you here, they’re tormenting. And since those from your world fled back here, it’s only a matter of time before they’re ruling over our land again. We’re not asking you to work magic and somehow get rid of them all. We need you to dominate over them and set barriers and line they can’t cross. We’re only asking you to stay here, care about us the way you cared for your homeland. Take down those who won’t stand down, and scatter those to darkness who want to remain alive. It’s why you were born, Knight. To protect us.”
It took zero effort to rid our world of the Qualms. My presence, alone, sent them scattering. And those who didn’t want to leave, she’s right, they met a death they can’t come back from. For those that resided within someone or something, were the hardest. It was here that my new ability kicked in. Control. . .
As I would insert myself in someone’s mind, forcing my way into their thoughts, it was the same, but easier for me and painless for them. Simply locking eyes with my victim, finding the direction of their intentions and aspirations, I conformed them to my own, as I would unfold a sheet of paper and then fold it back the opposite direction. A single flip of direction and they’re will conformed to mine. I didn’t blink or snap, I just wanted it to, and it happened as I wanted. The Qualm left the body, and for those humans that still resided, lost in the far part of their mind. . . With a slight hitch of control, I drew them forward, all by my thoughts. Seconds is all it took. For groups or single individuals. Towns or one home. Everything was back to normal in a slow blink of an eye.
All but one thing.
I place my hand on the lady’s shoulder. She begins to bow, and I stop her. “None of that, please. I’m not that guy. I mean, I am that guy, but I’m not that guy. What I mean is, I don’t want people bowing down to me, and praising me. I don’t followers or continuants. I don’t want to be a savior to a world I know nothing about. Hell, I don’t want to be a savior to the world I know. I don’t mind helping, and saving, and being there. I’ve done that for my family for me entire life. I just don’t have much family left.”
“Yes, you do,” she cuts in and points to more people coming from the sewers and alleys, and other places they hoarded. “You have an even greater family now. People that love you for who you are, what you’ve done.” Taking my arm, she pulls me with her to a small home, one of the cleanest of this neighborhood. “What do you want? How can someone with such greatness be so sad?”
We sit on the steps of her porch. “I am a Sephlem. My kind are created to be a part of someone else. Everything we are is created for this person. For me.”
“It’s the young lady you are always with. But she’s missing today.”
I prop my elbows up on my knees, and force my hands through my hair. “She is, because she’s incredibly sick.”
“Tell me more about how you are created for her.”
“Sephlems are monogamous beings. We’re mated to others whose heartbeat matches our own. For me, I’m the worst of my kind, rare to mate, but when we do it’s trying. It’s hard to remain mated, or alive. But my mate and I, we’ve literally stood against the tests of time. But, fate. . . It destined me to be the man in your eyes. A Knight. We were bound within days; it’s a one times one equals one kind of thing. I breathed on her breath, saw through her eyes, felt her atoms flow through my body. When her blood rushed so did mine. When her heart fluttered, mine did to. All because I no longer had one as mine was replaced by hers.”
“How’s that work?” The lady shifts on the step to better face me. “Her heart is in your chest?”
“It is. It’s how our mating is sealed. And now we’ve gotten everything we’ve wanted and I’m stealing it back from her.”
“But you’ve done that from the beginning. Stolen from her.”
Her statement grabs me by the neck and chokes me for longer than a second. “I suppose you’re right. I knew the outcomes, and I gave in. Maybe I took advantage of the joy. The hope. Her wishes. I murdered us a long time ago. Did exactly what she asked me not to do.”
“Did you know all this would happen?”
“No. But they warned me it could.”
“They warned that you would kill the woman you are bound to?”
“No,” I blurt.
“Then why are you angry with yourself? It is sad, very sad that this is happening to you. And I’m sorry to see you’re in pain. What are you doing to change it?”
Change it? I haven’t even figure out how I’m causing it. I came here to find Chislon and see if he could tell me anything. But, by the way he dispersed the other day, it didn’t seem as though he’d be willing to help. He used us, like everyone else.
“If this is your last days, would you care to spend is joyously, together? Or moping around here in search of answer no one here can help provide you. Don’t let your limited time steal your display of love, Knight. If you really love her, and I mean really love her, you’ll find a way to save her. It’s in your blood. To save.”
I snort, rising. “Thanks.”
“Be safe out there.”
I leave her porch to head back. The Qualm who stared at me with a promise, I feel it around, somewhere, eyeing me again. I sense it. But, I can’t see it.
With the help of the ability I stole from Tracey, her site, I perceive it as though I’m looking it dead in its eyes. Its expression wipes clean, as it’s shocked I’ve invaded its site. “You or any of your friends hurt these people, you’ll have me to answer to.”
It disperses and finds the nearest darkness to accompany.
I’m faced with options again. It’s one or the other, my Burdened flashes the thought in my mind.
But, I know how to save Tracey.
I Was Made For Loving You
Tracey
“Hey,” comes softly, with a gentle stroke against my cheek. My lashes flutter and the pain from the stretch of the skin heavily brings on my consciousness. The ache in my cheeks from my smile is even worse, but the sight I lay my gaze on is worth the pain. “I’ve been trying to wake you for past four hours. You scared the shit out of me.” Nathan sighs and falls back on his butt. He gently rubs my knee. “You okay?”
I croak, “Yes.” But no. I’ve not been okay for days. “What are we doing today?”
“Maybe you should hang out here. I’m going to the other realm and to check on something.”
My bones feel like metal grinding against rusty joints, as I’m trying to sit up. My flesh burns at it stretches over the deteriorating metal and aching muscles. I hold in my cough. “Just because I’m not about to fight you on this, doesn’t mean you’re right.”
He chuckles. “I’ll never know how you look at me like that.”
I roll my eyes. “Replay our lives, Nathan. Do you know what I’ve gone through to be with you? We could be lying on our death bed, and I’ll still be content.”
Nathan scoots nearer me. “I’m going to make it right, Sparky. I swear.”
The gentlest, sweetest, most frightened kiss he places to my lips. I don’t question it. He’s been very timid since he assumed it’s him that’s making me sick. But it could not be. I hope.
I’m optimistic.
I’ve put my life on the line to be able to live in a day like today. Finally,. . . we get to bask in our freedom. After we’ve lost so much, loss so many, after time has chewed us up and spit us back out. Now is the time Nathan and I should be enjoying each other’s company, thinking about the cottage we’re going to build and grow old in. If we’re going to build a family, Burdened children or not, that fear no longer matters. We’ve saved lives! We freed an entire race of Sephlems who have been cursed just because of what they are! Nathan has lived his entire life with this hanging over his head, and finally he’s free to dream of making a legacy for kids, our children. And after all this, after I gave up everything. . .
We should be on our honeymoon somewhere, laughing, skinny dipping, sky diving, skies were the freaking limit. But no…
This is it.
This is it?
I look away from Nathan.
“Sometimes, Sparks. More recently actually. I find myself wishing we would’ve stayed strangers so I wouldn’t have to know your pain. So you wouldn’t have to feel like you have to hide it.”
I chuckle, making light of the heaviness he welcomed into my morning. Or, it could be the afternoon. “We’ve always had a bittersweet journey, Nate. But, I—” He place his hand over my mouth.
“Don’t. I hate it when you say that.” Regret has pierced his gaze for days now.
I lick my lips and try to swallow my tears. The blur from them flooding along my eyelids is a clear indication I’m doing a horrible job. “Just promise you’ll do everything you can to make it okay. We still have a lot of traveling to do. Some Nathan and Tracey’s to raise, you’ve gotta build us a new house with a swinging bench in the back yard. I.”
Nathan placed a finger to my lips. He looks away from me and rises from the bed. Hand pushing across his mouth, he clears his throat before saying, “Absolutely.”
A couple hours after Nathan leaves, I make it down stairs and sit with Nick and Trevor. They’re watching a Newcomb favorite. When I sit beside Nick, he lays his head on shoulder and says, “My dad loved his movie.”
“I know,” I say. “You two want to bake a cake with me after its over?”
Nick gives me the most peculiar eye. “You don’t know how to cook,” he states, shaking his head.
Shrugging, I say, “But you do.”
A smile as wide as his shoulder steals his face. “I would love that! Are you sure you can?”
“Of course, Nicky.” I nod. “Don’t tell anyone, but I’m pretty sure I’m super woman. Our secret.”
Nick laughs. “I probably would have fell for that three years ago, Tracey. But I’m nearly an adult.”
I poke his button nose. “You sure are.” A smile warms my cheeks, a feeling I’ve not felt in days. And, it doesn’t hurt. I adjust in my seat with ease. “Wait.”
“What?” Nick and Trevor ask nervously.
“It doesn’t hurt!” Jumping to my feet, I stretch and suck in a breath greater than my lungs can handle. Releasing it in a burst of excitement, I exclaim, “I feel amazing! What’d you do? Had I known your healing ability would cure me, I would’ve been hanging around you all the time.”
Shaking his head, confounded, Nick says, “I didn’t do anything. Nathan and I have been trying to heal you for weeks, but it’s never worked.”
I cross my arms. “Huh? You sure?”
“Positive.”
“Oh my gosh!” My hands fly to mouth. “Nathan did it!” I’m jumping on my toes. Nathan! Nathan!
Sparks? he returns with a hint of skepticism. You sound. . . Um. You sound normal.
I feel normal, Nate. Whatever you did, baby, it worked! I race from the house to the gateway near the park. I’m on my way!
Are you running?
Yes!
Okay. I’ll meet you!
I’m winded when I make it, but it feels so damn good to stretch my legs and race against the wind. I spot the gateway, waves of space shaking like water. I make it as Nathan’s coming through. Throwing my arms around his neck, I crumble to the ground.
Struck with chills, my aching bones cry against the involuntary movement. Nathan catches me. My breaths are short and I cough, splattering blood on his neck and cheek.
On his knees, Nathan props me up in his arms. “Wha- What happened?” he asks. “What’d you do?” he cries.
My heart’s pounding, beating me in and out of consciousness as lightheadedness makes me nauseous.
“Sparks?” he pushes his hands over my head. “I saw you, Sparky. You were fine,” he cries. “What’d you do?” his voice fades in and out. Consciousness is too heavy to hold on to.
I let go.
Nathan’s screaming my name, and I want to respond, but I have no voice. I want to see, but when I part my lids, I have no vision. I hear though, but it’s like I’m submerged in water, and he’s on the outer side of it.
I’m able to lift my hand and find his. He stops panicking when my fingers slip between his. I can sense he wants to, but he doesn’t grasp on to me tightly. I appreciate it because just breathing hurts like hell.
