Once Time Passed (A Burdened Novel Book 4), page 35
“How could you promise those people we would save them? We don’t know how to do that,” I tell her.
“But we can’t just stand by.”
“I’m not saying we stand by, but before we go getting people’s hopes up, we need to be sure we can accommodate those promises, Tracey.”
She matches my step at my attempt to walk around her. “We are obviously designed to do something. I just wanted to let them know we would at least try, Nate. Sometimes people need a little bit of hope just to hang on another day.” She shrugs. “I just wanted to give them that little bit just to hang on.”
I wrap my arms around her shoulders. “It’s okay. I’m just not sure.”
Just My Soul Responding
Nathan
In the bed of my truck, Tracey and I lay out blankets and lie beneath the sky. Her head is on my chest, and I run my fingers over her curly hair. “Sparks?”
She tightens her hold on me. “Hum?”
“What if helping those people means we have to give up this? You and me.”
Tracey sits up on her elbow and rests her chin on my chest. A gentle tug on her brows barely brings them taut, but her eyes show concern for the meat of my question. “How do you mean?”
“I think, for me to stop the Qualms, I’d have to do it without you.”
“He’s not lying,” comes from our right.
“What the hell?” Tracey and I jump up. “Are you just stalking us now?” She’s usually able to feel a person’s approach, but he arrived completely unannounced.
“Sorry,” my father says, hands raised near his ears. “I’m not here to cause any problems, Keith. I only want to talk.”
“What do you want?” flies out of my mouth as I’m trying to calm the rush of adrenaline that’s thrashing through me from the startle. “If you need help with something, you’ve come to the wrong place.”
“Lunis killed your mother. That wasn’t a part of the plan. And he needs to pay for tearing apart my family.”
I snort. “Then you do need something. If you think I’m going to help you take on Lunis and you walk away, I’m not. You’re as guilty as he is, no matter the heads up you’re trying to give, or your wicked way of looking out for us suddenly. You’re still dead to me.”
“Do you see me, Keith?”
I nod. The thought to lie does cross my mind, but I’m interested in learning all he knows and to find out where he’ll lead me.
“I wasn’t the best father.” There’s a sardonic snort from Tracey. She turned her back to him shortly after he arrived. “See this from my eyes,” he continues. “My father was murdered by my Burdened mother, she slaughtered my brother, my sister, and only I remained alive. Yes, I resent Burdeneds, I resent anything, anyone, who has the inability to control themselves because of this reason. Your aunt Cynt was away, made with Donald. I was alone until your mother. She meant the world to me.”
“Get on with it, Nathan,” I say.
“This goes back to when Olar killed Lunis’ wife and daughter. The very first thing Lunis did was come to me demanding debts and answers I didn’t have. I’d settled all debts with him after Roehl and you tried to destroy his empire during your bad days, and Olar ripped that wound back open.”
“What does this have to do with you? You were supposed to be dead by then.”
He shakes his head and rubs his fingers back and forth across his forehead. “The girls have had my soul on ice for years, Keith.”
This reveal causes Tracey to turn around. “The girls? How were you able to walk around without a soul?”
“Magic,” I offer. I look to my father to continue.
He shrugs. “Like I said, I just needed a body. With Lunis’ help, I got that.”
“Yeah, but why?” Tracey asks. “Lunis doesn’t seem like the type of person who would lend a hand to someone just because they asked.”
He tips his chin and there a slight shake his head. “Well, Great Nathan, he descended from Nathan Lamant, the king of lands who was admired by pure hearts and innocent souls. It’s not that royalty drives through our bloodline, but him specifically, as a descendent, has the direct marking of King Nathan. An exact replica and lionesque personality that’s as dominating as it is amiable.” His shoulders rise as though the information is hard for him to admit. “I saw it on him—felt it on him—the first day I held him. Flushed in red and death in his eyes. He was the Burdened Sephlem that would hold the ability of being the seeing of death, the monster everyone in our realm feared. My son. A weapon—a gift,” he marvels in correction, “to anyone who desired the power of control.” Though I can indirectly see my father, it’s as though I see him as a ghost, because Laine is what’s directly in front of me. It’s off-putting distinguishing through the two expressions and trying to remember what it was like to have a cordial conversation with my father that wasn’t business related. I fucking hate this guy.
“And what better person than the leader of Qualms, the lard of ass who wants to rule our world. So, after Nathan promised he’d kill you because you’re a horrible person, you made a deal with Lunis because your son had finally mated and opened up the truths of some ridiculous prophecy that sets him in place to be the All-Seeing of Death.”
“God, Sparks.” I rub her thigh. “You caught on to all of that quickly.”
“Exactly,” my father admits. “With promise I’d get Nathan turned over to him, he guaranteed to bring me back and we’d start his plan for gain of control. We had it down to a science,” he says, slapping one hand over the other. “First, evacuate the house, Lana would plant the bomb.” He digresses from his thrill of the reveal to add, “Lana was a sweet girl, until she discovered it was her mate who killed her mother. That was my doing.” The light fills back in his eyes as he dives back in as though he never cut from his scheme, “I knew you wouldn’t remain living with the family after you and Tracey mated, and separation helped us. If we got Tracey, we’d get you, but there was something I didn’t know about you.”
“That he could break through realms,” Tracey mutters. “Yeah, we know.”
Slowly nodding, he agrees, “Lunis’ barriers are impenetrable. Like the one Tracey encountered the day she thought she saw you die. That didn’t happen in this world. They only saw it, because Lunis wanted them to. The place in London, it’s not here, either, just its entryway was there. You burst in and walked out with ease. You tracked down your mate just be her opening a window. . .from a completely different world. And you still want to call yourself just a man. Men don’t do that.”
“The Qualms,” Tracey offers.
“It was all moving slower than intended. We expected him to advance into his true potential years ago, but that required taking more from his mate than he was willing to. Then we stepped in. It was like planting a seed, a thought would trigger an idea, ideas trigger action—cause and effect. After your mother explained your marking on your back, and then the qualms pop up, you, son, would begin to put the pieces to the puzzle together yourself, and your mind and beast would make the connection to at start advancing. The Qualms presenting themselves to you was their way of saying hello, nicely. Other’s didn’t get that pleasure. They’ve been around for some time, slowly, cautiously entering our realm by the likes of Lunis and . . . myself. Once we were sure about you, we knew it was time and boy, Keith, I wanted that power, all you can do but choose not to. Everything you are but that you won’t own up to or claim. I started to think you were either stupid or kind enough not to be the Death everyone sought you out to be. And though I wanted your dominance, I want my wife more. She wasn’t supposed to be taken from me.”
“And everything got out of your hands and you realized you made a deal with a devil worse than yourself.” Tracey thrusts her arms forward and blast him across the forest.
I rub her shoulders. “Hey. Sounds like you’ve got a handle on all this stuff.”
She sighs. “Nate, why on earth are you royalty and didn’t know it? Who doesn’t know they’re a freaking king.”
I step away from her, objecting, “I am no king. They think I’m a knight. And I’m not that either.”
“Obviously, you are. Isn’t it making sense to you yet?”
Yes, it is. A lot of sense.
My father returns, healed, but burnt holes in his shirt. “I need your help taking down Lunis. It’s for my revenge, I can be honest about that. But it’s for you, because as long as he’s alive, they will always be coming after you two, you’re the only way to accomplish his plan. He wants to get you back, he accomplished it once, and he’ll do it again. With the Qualms at his back, and his promise to them that they’ll be able to overcome this world to, like theirs, he has an entire army. They wipe out your family to eliminate any distractions and anyone you believe in. And once it’s just you two, alone, they’ll play on your weakness.”
“We’re each other’s weakness, and both of us are as strong as our weakness,” Tracey states.
My father slides his gaze from Tracey to me. “Why does she care about you this much?”
“She’s crazy,” I say with a shrug. “And . . . she’s right. There isn’t much more they can hit us with.”
Tracey mutters, “All of you have taken more than anyone could give.”
He shrugs. “Soon, Lunis is going to have those Qualms break down that realm and flood this land in a way darkness would as the sun sets. You may be able to fight off some of them who are near you, but for those on the other side of the town, or the other side of the country, you will not be able to save everyone.” He throws his hands out at his sides. “My proposal?”
I nod.
“Let’s take him down before he can do that. He doesn’t live in this land anymore, but there. It’s why he’s often untouchable. We go to him. Get after him before you’re forced into defense with hundreds of Qualms crawling down yours and Tracey’s throats and you end up in his grasps anyway.”
Tracey and I are silent, staring him down, awaiting the dramatic ‘Gotcha’ he’s hiding in his back pocket.
“Okay,” he gives. “Talk it over tonight. Meet me at our home. There’s an entrance to the realm in the backyard.” He disperses into black mist and zips through the night into nothing.
5AM
Nathan
Tracey props her feet up on the dashboard. I’ve yet to drive out of the woods. “You going to say something?” I ask her.
“Your dad’s full of shit, and I can’t believe you’re actually considering this.”
“It’s a problem that needs our attention anyway weren’t you just saying we need to do something to save the people? We’ve been walking into danger for a while, the only difference from then to now is we have absolutely nothing else to lose but each other.”
“That’s the way they wanted it.”
“We should probably check in with what’s left of our family.”
“Maybe. We need to get Trevor settled in too. He may as well stay here with us instead of trying to roam the streets and have him out there on his own.”
“Are we in agreement? We meet him, do what we have to do to take him down, Lunis and the Qualms? We won’t do it if you don’t want to.”
“Yes, we’re doing it. I don’t trust him.”
“Me either, Sparky.”
“You know those three Qualms who’s been riding us the past three years? Let’s go into this thinking they have their own plan, and have nothing to do with Lunis’ army.”
“Hmm.” I take that into consideration. “You’re right. They do seem to have a different motive than Lunis, less greed more expression.”
“Right.”
It’s a fifty-minute drive back to my mother’s house. Since acquiring these new abilities, I can feel her presence here every time I walk through the door. There are qualities of my character constantly shifting and changing since I fed from Tracey. I’m still so fucking full but I want to do it again. It’s a terrible drug but a glorious high; one of inebriation, confidence, surety, strength. Physically I can do anything and conquer the shit out of it. Everything about me is enhancing because of my mate. I knew it would, this Seeing of Death would accelerate by my doing so, just as they predicated. It was the only thing holding me back. But, it’s the other part to follow this that I’m worried about.
“Nick?” He’s level with my midsection.
He breaks out of our hug. “Can I tell you about my day at school? I’ve got this girl who won’t leave me alone, and it’s only because I don’t want to get trouble why I won’t shoot her with my slingshot.” Nick spills his day, as I eye Tracey and Trevor. Oddly, I’m able to keep up with both conversation and engage with Nick without missing a beat of Tracey’s chat. This is the coolest fucking ability ever.
“Nick, maybe she likes you. Girls do weird things when they like you.”
He shrugs and drags his phone from his pocket as he leaves. I lay my head back on the couch and suck in a breath. We’ve left our family in the dark of our ventures. Only Little Nathan is aware, but knows to say nothing. It’s for their protection. The only information Little Nathan doesn’t know is that our father is in Laine, which is for the better right now. If my father is trying to set us up, the best we can do is be prepared for it. It’s hard to believe it took Lunis killing my mother to get him to change sides. My mother died years ago. If this was the case, would he not have changed sides that moment? He was impersonating as Laine the day I died-ish, and that was well after my mother died. They slaughtered Tracey’s parents well after my mother died. I died well after my mother died. . .
I have to call bullshit.
“Hey,” Tracey pats my leg. “Wake up. We’ve got stuff to go over.”
I snatch her by her waist and tug her onto my lap. After a second inhale, I bit back the urge to go in for a taste. Long curls that didn’t make it into her messy ponytail hang around her face. I push them back, and pull to close.
She shoves her hands against my chest. “Don’t kiss me.”
Taken aback, I knit my brows. “What? Why not?”
She shrugs. “I feel like they’re numbered. And while I’d love to indulge in you right now, there’s going to be a moment in our future I’m going to wish I saved it for.”
“Shut up.” I slip my hand behind her neck and kiss her chin before her lips. She nearly melts in my arms. “Don’t you feel better now?”
“Mm, hmm.” Her arms wrap around my neck and she leans against my chest. In our hug, she places her face in my neck and breathes easier.
I mumble to her, though knowing she won’t understand, “I remember you. But to forget you and have the opportunity to get to know you all over again, then to have you now. It’s hard to wrap my mind around losing you.”
“I love you too.”
I chuckle. “That’s always your response.”
“I never know what you’re saying, but I know you’re saying something that equals to that.”
“I adore you, Sparks.” She’s soon dozing, Miss. We have some stuff to go over. I carry her to a bed we’ll sleep in for the night. “We’re going to meet Nathan in the morning.”
“Humph.”
She pushes her hand across my chest and lays more comfortably. It’s warmer than usual, and I take her wrist in my hand to give it a look. Her palm’s light, no black. “Hey, you’re okay?”
“Um, I don’t feel too well all of a sudden.”
I open my senses to be consumed by hers. Its sudden coming over me; sluggishness, nausea. I’m immediately flushed, nearing one hundred two degrees, and my head’s aching. I break away from her. “Why didn’t you tell me you were sick, Sparks?”
She shrugs, muttering, “It just came out of nowhere. Can you take it away or something? I’m starting to feel horrible.” Tracey clutches her arms around her stomach and moves into the fettle position.
“Of course.” I pull her near me and suck away her sickness. Most of it. For some reason, the headache remains. I try again, willing her pain away, but it sticks.
“Thanks. So, we’re going to dive headfirst into more danger in the morning? Finally taking down the king pin.”
“Yep. You and me.”
“Let’s not forget about your dad.”
“Right. I don’t know what his play is, but I don’t want to walk away from an opportunity at Lunis. My beast won’t let me. After what he did to you, to us. I’m betting he gave the order to wipe out our family.”
“Maybe that’s how bad he wants you. I was thinking.” She turns onto her side; tired eyes beam up at me. “What if your dad is trying to get you around Lunis so he can replace your being. It’d put him in the place of power like he wants.”
“They’d need the both of us to make me this Seeing of Death. And, you’re not going to like this, but I’d kill myself to not become that kind of monster.”
“It’s me who can help make you that monster, right?”
“The two of us.”
She’s silent for a moment and I can’t break in to read her thoughts. “Well,” she carries, turning over. “They say revenge is the strongest motivator.”
Three Empty Words
Nathan
We’re up early. Tracey’s been coughing all morning but she’s not running a fever like she was last night. She comes over to me with our duffle bag in hand. We’re on our last pair of clean clothes.
“If we make it back tonight, you’re doing the laundry,” she says.
I grab the bag from her and toss it on the top shelf in the closet. “We’ll be back to our normal way of living soon. We just need to get . . . life . . . together first.”
Tracey buckles over, coughing hard enough she has to heave. I rush over to her and help her sit. “Are you sure you’re up for this? You can chill out here, and I’ll come for you after.”
“What if you don’t come back.”
