Once Time Passed (A Burdened Novel Book 4), page 33
“Yes.”
“You’re ready?”
“Un-hun.”
I take on the beast, and she stares it in the eyes. They lock gazes as if they missed the moment. We’re naked in seconds. It waits until it’s entered her to claw its teeth in her shoulder and heave her pleasure as it tastes her blood. She moans, a groan now and then when it takes a drag, consuming helping after helping. It feeds on her pain, her sorrow, her anxiety, and her pleasure in the most filling manner. It draws on her fears and reminds her of her loss, it thrusts deeply inside her and forces her to recollect her pleasures, those sexual and joyous.
Tracey. . . She gives it exactly what it wants. Not a quiver or a cringe as she leaves herself open for him to consume. She’s paling, pleasure induced moans seizing the silence of the home, of the night. She clings onto my body, hands and feet freezing cold. She’s doesn’t even know she’s on the last of what’s left of her as I’m nearly overflowed.
That’s enough. We’ll kill her.
Without a second request, it gives me control, and I fill her back up, putting the color back in cheeks and warmth in her fingers. “You’re okay?”
She nods. Shaking in pleasure, panting, now sweating. She takes a while to gather her words, constantly licking her dried lips, and swallowing hard. “That was different. . . I feel like I can conquer the world.”
Standing, I stretch, and I’m rushed with an energy that strengthens my muscles and straightens my bones. A growl splits from my throat, as I welcome its invigoration. I’ve never felt so strong. Even as I ball my fist, my strength bulks my arms and swells me chest.
I swipe my thumb over Tracey’s shoulder to seal her wounds and kiss the area to apologize for my selfish act.
“You look bigger,” Tracey mentions when I rise.
I pull my shoulders back as my beast recycles over me and emerges with confidence and force. “I am,” it growls. We kneel before Tracey and take her hand in ours. Every time we touch her, I cringe at the thought of her jumping out of our reach, but every time, to my surprise, she doesn’t. For some goddamn reason, she accepts me like this. A monster. As though she were born for this reason. What’s the hardest for me to understand is. . .after everything, I’m her oxygen, her will, her desire, still. . .
There’s a heavy rasp to the words my beast tells her, “You carry me—” our head shakes. “You carry us in a way the wind carries the birds. You comfort us in a way green bathes the earth. You, my heart, love us in the way a God loves his people. I, alone, am neither deserving nor adequate to have such quality carry a heart that is to fill my chest. We,” our hand rises to our chest, “should parish once your heart thumbs your life in us again.” Our hand shoots through the air from my chest to her neck. “If we were required to kill you in order to win this war, would you sacrifice yourself for us, him? The one within this body who’s declared your life greater than his own, so much he chose to flee instead of fight? Would you give up the last of what you have to save him? Because that is what it will take. For you to win, he must fight, and for him to fight, he must acquire the fullness of his strengths, those that even lie in you. So, will you, Love, give your mate what is required of you? Will you fulfill your purpose to your mate and fulfill the prophecy love wrote to death?”
I snatch back control and Tracey jumps from the couch, standing over three feet from me. “What?” she snaps, brows taut.
I shake my head, muttering, “I don’t know. I never heard that before. But no matter what the cost, I’ll pay it before I hurt you. Nothing is worth that. Win or lose. Nothing is worth your demise.”
“But what about your beast?” she asks. A glow forms around her as her hands spark with flames. I nervously retreat, recalling the pain her blasts cause. She’s able to knock me and my Burdened off our feet and waiting for a whole the size of a basketball to close is torturous.
“Honestly, Sparks, it loves you more than me. You’re it’s secret place. But, that’s not the way it thinks, it’s ideals are for the worse. It’ll offer you a negative in hopes of a negative response. It couldn’t harm you. I’m sorry I let it get that out of control. But, after a feeding it’s a little strong,” I defend.
“Well,” she grumps, straightening her shorts as she crosses the floor to a chair sat at the table. “Tell it to get that shit together. You almost got your face set on fire.” Tracey looks over her shoulder and meets my eyes. “Do you believe what it said is true?”
I shrug. “I don’t know what I believe any more.” I kneel in front of her. “I don’t want you to sacrifice anything for me. And I know you will try, because something in you won’t stop loving me. So, promise me, Sparky. I don’t care what it is, you won’t risk your life for mine. That you won’t even put a limb on the line to save me from whatever is out there.”
“How dare you ask me to make you such a promise. If I can save you, I’m saving you, period.”
I snatch her will and force her gaze to lock on my eyes. “You don’t understand.”
“Let me go.”
“Don’t ever take my place. You will never put your life on the line for mine. Do you understand?”
Her words are strained as she tries to fight against my hold. “Don’t make me say it, Nathan.”
I feel every atom of her body, including the beat of her heart, and its desire, I change.
She cries against the pain, confirming to my plan. Tears staining her cheeks, she mutters, “I promise. I’ll never risk my life to save yours.”
I release her and back away.
Tracey slumps over, hand flown to her chest. When she looks back at me, her tears are dry and her eyes are red. “I’m sorry I loved you too much.”
They’re like bullets, her words, hitting me a damning place. “I’m—”
“Shut up, Nathan.” Tracey stands from the chair and she heads around the home and covers the furniture. “Let’s get back to check on Trevor.”
I shrug once, and agree. “Tomorrow, we can come up with a game plan. They won’t get away with killing our family.”
She flicks me off as she sliding on her shoes.
I but my jeans and find my shirt. She’s got me silent. Though I know I’ve overstepped my boundaries, she will always put her life over mine, and I can’t let her do that. She’ll never see how much more important she is. I’ve already taken so much from her, and she’s offered everything there is to take. Her life won’t be on that list. She can hate me all she wants.
After making sure everything is as we found it, we make a beeline it to the front door. I crumple, gripping onto the door panel as I fail to keep myself afoot.
“What is it?” Tracey asks, keeping my head from hitting he floor.
A groan cuts from me that’s louder than the chirping of the crickets and singing grasshoppers. “Don’t know,” I grunt. A heavy pound; one that’s hot as obsidian and deadening as a bolder, drops in my chest. My blood’s rushing and a deafening pulse takes hold of my body. I throw my hand over my vibrating chest, feeling a beat against it. It hurts like a bitch, and I wince to keep from shaking.
“You’re, like, convulsing. Tell me you’re okay.”
I find her hand and place it over my chest. “Remember when you told me the first time we met was because I hit you, and that I had hit you because I was texting Scott?”
“Yeah.”
“I lied.” I thump my middle finger twice against my chest “That’s your heartbeat.” I take a breath when I get used to it. “When I hit you, I was mating with you. It was just like this. Knocked me off my feet, damn near unconscious.”
She’s looking down, upside down to me.
A faint glow’s around her and the scent of lilac fills my nose as I deeply inhale for the fourth time. Gorgeous, light brown eyes gleam down at me. I reach for her cheek but brush my thumb over her bottom lip.
“You’re okay?” she asks.
“I think I just fell in love you.” Sitting up, I add, “I mean. I think I just re-mated with you. Was re-mated to you. . .” I knit my brows, frustration daring me to get this wording correct. “What I mean is—”
“Hush, Nate. I get it.” She shrugs once. “I love you too.”
“Always have?”
Pinching her lips to the left side, she nods.
“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. But you understand, right?”
“I. . .” her gaze drops to the ground. “I do.”
Dancing with A Stranger
Tracey
The air is cold. A breeze tickling my toes wakes me. Through the blur of my lashes, I find the window open.
“Nate,” I call, urgently turning over, expecting to find him in his usual spot when we sleep. He’s gone. Jumping to my feet, I scan the small room for him or Trevor, finding neither.
Like before, when Nathan and I first mated, maybe after we’d bound, he’s powerful over me. I smell him as though his scent is bleeding from my pores. My blood is rushing just from the thought of him. But a nervous tickle crawls in my stomach as I search but not find him.
I climb up a box and out of the open window onto a sunlit street, seeming midday. Laughter and chatter fill the silence of the afternoon. A hint of gas sweeps across my nose. On the street, at the curb, Nathan and Trevor, are hunched under the hood of his truck.
The people milling around the neighborhood aren’t the least bit concerned. They go about their fake lives as if these “normal” people didn’t exist. “I thought you said it wasn’t safe to go out in the day? How are you two our here fixing a truck, not being attacked?” I ask.
Trevor, jumps on his toes while grabbing shoulder. “It’s the most amazing thing, Tracey!” he starts. “Nathan”—he chucks his thumb at him—“Was able to wean their senses or something. So, when they see us, they see people who are just like them.”
“Really?” I ask Nathan. “How is that working?”
“Well,” Nathan says, twisting a wrench, bent over deep in his truck. “You know how I can subvert the mind of others, right?”
“Yeah.”
“And you remember the mentioning of the seeing of death thing?” He leans up and snatches a towel that hung over the hood. Wiping his hand, he finishes, “It’s true. And far too easy.”
“When did you find out you had this ability?”
He kisses my cheek before answering. “I woke up this morning feeling like I could do anything.” He flexes the muscle of his left arm. “I woke up, came outside and instantly ran into one of the Qualm Folk. Its gasp wasn’t even completed when the thought left my mind and I could nearly see it float into his, who you see is only what you’re used to seeing,” he says it with confidence in a convincing manner. “I don’t know who it saw, but he smiled, like they do, and continued on its way. I stepped in the middle of the street, and tested it out, but instead of forming a though, I made the person they were seeing acceptable. Even called Josh out to see if it would work with him. It took zero effort and it came to me without attempting it.”
“You’re controlling their will. . .? Their seeing?” I ask biting back my cringe.
Our eyes lock and he defends, “Not like that. I’m protecting us, so we can get the hell out of here. I’m not going to go on a mind control spree and start changing their minds and forcing them to accept good over evil.”
“Maybe you should,” Trevor cuts in. “I mean, how bad would it be for all people to be good. Like, world peace could be inevitable.”
“There’s free will for a reason. If the most powerful being in the universe wouldn’t take it from his people, why would Nathan?”
“I’m just saying. . .” Trevor hangs his head low and turns back to the truck. “It’d be epic.”
Nathan pats my shoulder, but doesn’t add in his two scents to put off exactly how he feels about this new ability. He starts back in his truck and they discuss how to fix what they believe is wrong. By the smug smile that crooked the corner of his mouth, it’d seem he’s comfortable with this new arrangement. That. . . The ability to control any person’s inner desires, their will, alone, is too much power.
“Sparky, don’t over think this,” Nathan says. He looks over his work and nods. “Trevor, jump in, and try to crank the engine.”
Trevor does as he’s told, and with a single crank, the engine roars to life. “Yes,” he cheers and Nathan balls a fist and nods in success.
The hood’s slammed down and Nathan rounds the truck to the driver’s side. “Hope in the back, we’re getting out of here,” he tells Trevor. “You coming?”
“Where?” I ask. “Find someone else we can shack up with until what?”
“Sparky, we can go anywhere we want. We don’t have to hideaway in small hut. No offense, Trevor. Your little hut was useful.”
“None taken.”
“Sparks, you have to get behind this with me. Let’s go back to the family house, check on everything. And then we’ll take it from there.”
“I thought you said they were in danger if we stayed around them? Things are different now because. . .?”
Nathan lifts his gaze to the sky as he thrusting his hands through his hair. “Because of the obvious, Sparks.”
Crossed, I get in the truck, but wonder what affect this has on the prophecy. It’s coming true. The more power we gain, the more likely we are this weapon and maybe, can be swayed. If his beast is prompt to side with the negative, why wouldn’t he do so with this too?
“You two are life savers. I mean, I know I kinda helped you out first, but getting me out of that town. . . This is great!” The smile Trevor wears, I can hear it in his words. Night before last, he told me how much he wished he could walk outside without feeling as if his life was on the line. With Nathan, he got that. Maybe unbeknownst to Nathan, Nathan is already showing how he can be used a someone’s weapon. As long as Trevor has Nathan, knowing Nathan will look out of him, he can walk around the entire world and never have to fear for his life again when it comes down to the Qualms. And if not to back up my assumptions, Trevor adds, “If only my dad were here. This would be the best day of my life.”
We drive for miles, heading back to Bennington, Virginia. I’ve wanted to put this place behind me for a long time. The instant I see the welcome sign, a bloat of memories return as if they’ve feared being forgotten. I hear them beg, remember, Tracey. And me too, Tracey. Wait, Tracey, don’t forgot about me, remember that time you killed your parents? Or that time you got kidnapped by Laine in your own home? But, don’t forget about that time you got chased by your dead best friend in that warehouse that one time. Remember that? Epic, right?
I shake the thoughts from my head, and hide the pain deep in a dark space, way down in the pit of my stomach. Now, is not the time for fear, or pain. Maybe, it’s not even the time for emotions. Love and hate. . .
Now, this moment, in my tainted life is the time for time to pass in a way sand falls through the slit of an hourglass.
Sparks?
Yes?
Everything is different. I can hear on a heightened level than you can. I see through eyes like yours. But my eyes don’t cloak. He looks my direction and asks, Are my eyes black?
No, Nate, I reply with a soft chuckle.
Well, I see tinted and different shit all around me. I feel people, but not their presences, like yours. I feel their auras, their desires, emotions, their cravings. It’s how I’m able to change them. Literally, in the center of my hand, I can feel their lives, their will. . . circling in my hand like a sphere. And, if I were to crush it, they’d perish before my eyes. Would it be real. . .? I don’t know, because I believe I’m also seeing in another time. Sometimes the world is light, but at other times, it dims.
That’s my every day, Nate.
You hold lives in your hand? he asks with wide eyes, cutting his gaze from the road to meet mine.
Laughing, I say, No silly.
Has anything changed in you?
Nope, same old me. But, I had this thought a long time ago, way back before I knew you were alive. This Qualm came to see me, it fooled me into thinking he was you. He showed me a vision, one where I stood at your side for you, not with you. As if I was an accessory to your presences or your power. I don’t think the All-Seeing of Death directly involves me, like your beast mentioned. I think I somehow assist in your advancing into this.
You’re saying we aren’t this Seeing of Death, I am?
Yes. It’s not The Seeing and Death, it’s The Seeing of Death. And I’m not death, and it’s you seeing.
Nathan falls quiet and stays quiet until we stop at a gas station just miles from making it to the family house. Trevor’s laid across the backseat, asleep. “Hey,” I shake him. “We’re stopping. You want something or need to use the bathroom?”
He shakes his head, but doesn’t trouble himself with opening his eyes.
“I’ll run in for food. You’ll pump the gas?” I offer.
“Nope. We’re down to our last ten bucks. I’m putting it all in the tank. Sit back with Trevor, I got it.”
Nathan’s in and out of the store in less than two minutes, and he’s finished pumping the gas before the song on the radio ends. We’re back on the road, driving through familiar parts of town that I’m used to seeing. We pull in the driveway of the old family house. Our home that had been blown up, burned to a crisp, knocked down, and was reconstructed.
With black shutters and white sidings, it stands tall. “Why are we here?” I ask. Nathan gets out of the truck. It’s only for a brief second that I see the structure as it once was. As I’m seeing the silhouette of a man exits from the front door, the structure evaporates into nothing but planks of placed wood. The man remains standing in the doorway. I squint to make him out from this distance.
Tarleton?
I move to get out but Nathan raises hand for me to stay. I crack the window instead.
Nathan and Tarleton, who I’m hoping is still Chislon, meet halfway. “It seems as if you no longer stand before me as man or beast, but as the Knight. How do you ride your white horse?” he asks with an edge of repulse. “What color is your heart?”
