Succubus Lord 6, page 4
part #6 of Succubus Lord Series
Finally, I released my blast, and my whole body went limp after the tremendous release of raw magic. Thank God Cupi was already holding me, because I felt like all of the energy in my body had drained out. I was breathing heavily, and I wanted nothing more than to just collapse right then and there, but Cupi wasn’t going to let me go anywhere.
“Jacob,” she said happily, “look!”
I glanced down at the small scale in the succubus’ hand and saw that it was no longer glowing.
Baal was dead, once and for all.
“Whew,” I sighed, and then I began to laugh triumphantly. “It’s over then, right? That was the last of the Seventy-Two Servants.”
“It’s over!” Cupiditas exclaimed with a squeal. “We did it, Jacob. All of Azazel’s minions are dead.”
Chapter 3
“I can’t believe it’s finally over,” Libidine mused a day and a half later as Shadow roared down the highway. “The Seventy-Two Servants are defeated.”
“Neither can I,” I said with a big smile. “It’s been nearly two years of intense, back-breaking work, but we did it. Azazel’s minions are back in Hell where they belong, and they sure as fuck aren’t coming back on our watch.”
“And if they do,” Todd boasted from the passenger seat as he smoked a think blunt, “we’ll give ‘em the ol’ one-two and beat their asses again. Nobody gets past The Toddster and Jakey, featuring the Circle of Sin.”
“Are we starting a band?” I asked curiously. “Because that totally sounds like a band name.”
The imp took another drag off his joint and shook his head. “No way, bro,” he clarified. “It’s our superhero team name. Like the Justice League or some shit like that.”
“Yeah, but ‘Justice League’ sounds badass,” I retorted. “‘The Toddster and Jakey featuring the Circle of Sin’ sounds like it’s an opening act for an even lamer but slightly more famous act.”
“It’s the only name I came up with that I thought you’d like,” the imp said with a frown.
“What other ones did you think of?” Tris finally spoke up from the back of the Jeep. “I really want to hear them. Stoned Todd is smart Todd.”
“I’m not sure if I should take offense to that or not…” Todd pondered aloud.
“Come on, Todd,” Tris poked at the imp playfully. “You’re the one who taught me that saying. How’d it go again?”
“Baked is waked,” Todd answered without missing a beat.
“Waked?” I asked. “We’re making up words now?”
“Waked, bro,” Todd sighed. “Like, past tense of ‘woke.’ All the cool kids are saying it nowadays.”
“But it’s true,” Tris interjected. “Being high as a seven-oh-seven opens your mind to all sorts of possibilities you wouldn’t get as your plain ol’ regular self.”
“Like coming up with crazy-yet-badass superhero team names,” Todd finished the succubus’ thought.
“Okay, now I’m intrigued,” Cupi admitted as she sat forward and crossed her arms over the middle of the front seat. “I want to hear these names.”
“Now, keep in mind, they are a work in progress,” Todd warned.
“Noted.” Cupi dispelled his fears with a nod. “Let’s hear them.”
Todd stood up on the seat and gestured with his hands as if he were presenting a marquee sign. “The Ballbusters,” he said with a little too much pride in his voice.
There was a moment of silence as the rest of us looked around at each other and let the imp’s words sink in. Then, we all burst out in laughter.
“I told you it was a work in progress,” Todd said with a shrug. “Here, I’ve got another one. How’s this sound? Todd’s Teammates.”
“Oh, so you get to have your name in the official title?” I busted the imp’s balls with my words.
“Alliteration ain’t easy, Jakey!” Todd shot back with an accusing finger. “What would we do if it were anyone else? ‘Jakey’s Jerks?’ ‘Cupi’s Catfish?’ ‘Tris’ Tadpoles?”
“Why not ‘Jacob’s Jewels?’” Libidine suggested.
“That sounds like we’re talkin’ about his balls,” the imp sighed, “and I already hear enough of that shit between all you girls. In fact, my stomach’s getting all queasy just thinking about it.”
“Jacob’s Judgement?” Cupi added.
“That … okay, I’ll admit, that’s pretty badass,” Todd mused as he took another puff. “If we go that route, you gotta promise me you’ll shout, ‘I am the law,’ any time we’re about to start fucking people up. Stallone would be proud.”
“Why can’t we just remain the Circle of Sin?” Tris asked. “We’ve had that name for centuries, why would we take the time and effort to change it now?”
“It’s a great name,” I admitted. “The only problem is that it doesn’t really apply to Todd or me. Our names aren’t based off any of the sins. Besides, I think all seven are taken.”
“Actually, bro, the Vatican announced a few years ago that there are now another seven deadly sins,” the imp explained. “One of them is ‘excessive drug use,’ and that sounds like the Toddster all over the place. What’s the Latin word for drugs, Mr. Translator?”
“Medicamenta utiliter,” I answered.
“Medacanomicon bandoleer?” the imp asked curiously. “How the fuck am I gonna remember that one? I can barely remember to brush my teeth in the morning. I’ve got one back there in the back who’s hanging on for dear life. All it’s gonna take is a day or two of forgetting, and he’s gonna succumb to gingivitis.”
“Gingivitis really isn’t that bad, I--” I started, but then my words were cut off by the concerned imp.
“I can’t lose my teeth again, bro!” he exclaimed. “How will I live without my wisdom teeth, bro?”
“Lots of people do that, Todd,” I reassured the imp, but he was having none of it.
“Ignorant fucking people,” Todd scoffed. “You know that’s all a big government conspiracy, right?”
“Here comes the tinfoil,” Cupi said as she rolled her eyes.
“Now, now,” Tris shot back, “I wanna hear him out.”
“Thanks, Slothy,” Todd acknowledged the succubus’ support. “Everybody knows wisdom teeth are essential to your neurological development.”
“They really aren’t,” I muttered under my breath, but I let him continue.
“Well, once the government feels like somebody’s getting a little too much to handle, maybe for their political beliefs, maybe for the amount of followers they’re gaining on social media … hell, even if they think somebody’s property is becoming too unwieldy for their city. Anyways, that’s when they pay off your dentist to tell you that your wisdom teeth ‘need to come out.’ It gives them a sample of your DNA for their collection on top of putting you through a week of bullshit pain just to put you back in your place. My dentist told me these babies needed to come out years ago, but I told him to go fuck himself and that The Man wasn’t gonna hold me down.”
“Don’t they hurt?” I questioned the imp. “You’ve basically had impacted wisdom teeth for a decade now.”
“Pain is all in your head, bro,” Todd chuckled. “Sure, there’s a dull throbbing every now and again, and sure, the gums are always so swollen I can’t use them to chew, but I see that as just a subtle ‘fuck you’ to everyone who’s listening in on this conversation right now!”
“Todd, you really need to see a dentist about that,” I pleaded with the imp.
He simply waved my words again with the swipe of his hand and took another drag on his blunt. “Nah, bro,” he scoffed. “I fucking hate dentists. Getting all up in my gums and sensitive teeth with one of those little drill thingies? No bueno. I’m not afraid of much--”
“You’re afraid of spiders,” I reminisced. “That was clear when the spider-demon attacked us.”
“Okay, so I’m afraid of spiders,” Todd admitted. “But--”
“And Mormons,” Liby added.
“Well, yeah, but I--”
“And clowns,” I reminded the imp. “You wanted to sleep in our room after watching IT.”
“That movie would scare anyone, bro!” Todd protested.
“You’re also afraid of hidden ducks,” Tris interjected.
Todd spun around in the seat and pointed back at the succubus. “I told you that in confidence, Slothy!” Then he sighed. “And I’m not afraid of ducks. I’m afraid that somewhere, somehow, there is a duck or a goose that’s watching, waiting for its moment to strike. It’s called anatidaephobia, and it’s totally a real thing.”
“Wait … ” I smiled as a realization slowly dawned on me. “Is that why you wanted to come out to the southwest when we graduated High School? You wanted to go somewhere where there were no geese and ducks?”
“That was definitely a factor, bro,” the imp admitted. “We got quails and roadrunners and hummingbirds out there, but the number of ducks and geese I’ve seen since we moved has been refreshing.”
“Sheesh,” I laughed out loud. “We’ve known each other for nearly twenty-five years, and I’m still learning new stuff about you every day.”
The Toddster turned back around and leaned back in his chair with his hands behind his head. “That’s because I’m full of secrets, Jakey,” he explained. “I like to keep myself nice and mysterious, it drives the ladies wild.”
“I wouldn’t call standing on top of Mardsten University’s dorms and shouting ‘Big Brother is watching you’ mysterious, bro,” I shot back. “In fact, that’s like, the opposite of mysterious.”
“You literally just laid out your entire list of darkest fears in front of us,” Cupi said with a smile. “You can’t get much more transparent than that.”
“Oh, I was just fucking with you about the duck thing,” Todd chuckled awkwardly. “You know me! Always making up stories and--”
“Hey, is that a duck on the side of the road?” Tris asked aloud.
Todd’s eyes widened before he looked around frantically and leapt down into the footrest of the vehicle. Once he was on the ground, the imp curled up into a ball tightly and went invisible.
“I’m just fucking with you, bro,” Tris said in her best Todd impression, and then she began to laugh hysterically.
Without warning, Todd’s body floated up into the ceiling of the Jeep. He was still completely invisible, but the outline of his frame was illuminated by a deep black glow I recognized immediately.
The black Hellfire of Fear.
“That was not funny!” he half-laughed, half-cried. “I totally feared for my life right there. You ever fought with a goose before, Slothy? Because I did when I was six years old, and let me tell you, it ain’t a walk in the park!”
“Todd, you’re glowing!” Libidine gasped.
“You’re glowing with fear magic,” Cupi added.
“Say what now?” The imp’s demeanor returned to its normal state. “Oh, yeah, I guess I am. Wait--holy shit, I can fly!”
“More importantly, you can use powers that are normally beyond an imp’s capabilities,” Cupi pondered aloud. “Fear magic is the most dangerous kind, and only a few of the Demonic’s greatest warriors can harness it. How did this happen?”
“I dunno, Cupi,” Todd cackled as he began to make tiny laps around the ceiling of Shadow. “All I know is that this is cool as shit. Look, up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No, it’s the Toddster!”
Todd started to hum a superhero theme as he continued to circle around our heads, but I was now focused on the issue at hand.
“If Todd can tap into other types of Hellfire magic, I wonder what we can do,” I asked the succubi in the back.
“Let’s find out,” Liby said sternly. “We’re in a pretty isolated area. Pull over here, Jacob.”
The curvy succubus was right. We had been driving back from New Orleans for nearly two days, and we were now back in the western part of New Mexico, a part that was nearly desolate save for a bunch of plants, animals, and rock formations. I pulled Shadow over into the sand and killed the engine.
The succubi and I exited the vehicle, and I got a chilly reminder of just how cold it got at night out here in the desert. Suddenly, a blur of black light zipped past my head and ascended into the starry sky.
“Up, up, and awwwaaaaayyyyyyy!” Todd exclaimed as he flew up as high as he could possibly go.
“You know,” I shook my head, “for a ‘fear’ power, he’s having way too much fun with this.”
“I wonder if this means you can finally master your fear powers,” Liby said as she wrapped her arms around Cupi and me. “I know you both haven’t had the greatest experience with them.”
“You can say that again,” I agreed with a shudder.
I thought back to my one and only encounter with my black Hellfire powers. It was back during our first adventure, when Cupi and Liby had been trying to figure out what I was capable of. The blonde succubus had been hesitant to let me test my fear magic, and for good reason. When she had tried to use her own, she was trapped in Purgatory for days.
My black Hellfire didn’t exactly work as intended, either.
I remembered my body being engulfed by the fatal flames and being transported to a mirror universe in which everything was frozen in time and appeared to be distorted. And then the image of the horrific creatures I’d encountered flitted through my mind.
The “Shadow People,” as the Divine and the Demonic called them, had a human-like figure that was stretched out so they stood eight feet tall. The creatures had no facial features nor dimension to their bodies save for two eyes that glowed a deep red. Their arms and legs were disproportionate to their bodies, which gave them the appearance of a tall, lanky scarecrow.
Just thinking about those things made my skin crawl.
“I think I’m gonna hold off on that one,” I answered. “At least for now.”
“I second that,” Cupi agreed. “The last thing we need right now is for one of us to get lost in another dimension. We’re not all lucky enough to have fear magic that grants us the power of flight.”
“Then maybe let’s try something more simple,” Libidine suggested. “Hatred is a simple one. Think of something you hate with a burning passion, like demons or evil humans or whatever is going to get you all riled up.”
That wasn’t hard at all. Azazel’s ugly mug popped into my head immediately, and I felt a pit of white-hot rage simmer at my very core. At the same time, a few sparks of yellow Hellfire danced in my right hand.
“Aha!” Liby giggled as she bounced up and down. “You can use my powers!”
I closed my eyes and tried to focus more clearly on Azazel and Beelzebub and all the other demon fuckers we’d come across in the last two years. As the memories of our enemies flashed through my mind, my hand began to tingle as if it were on pins and needles. When I opened my eyes, it was glowing a vibrant yellow.
I was using the hatred magic that was Libidine’s specialty.
Without wasting another moment, I turned toward a small cactus in the distance, pulled back my hand as if I were going to throw a baseball, and then brought it forward. When my glowing fist was at the top of my throwing motion, a handful of yellow projectiles sprang forth and shot across the desert sky.
Liby’s hatred spell always produced a sort of tiny enchanted spear that was cylindrical and came to a point at the end. However, my own brand of yellow Hellfire created a different kind of attack. My enchanted projectiles were small, circular disks that were sharpened on all sides and kinda reminded me of the shuriken ninjas were known for.
The swarm of tiny disks struck the cactus, cut through its spiny flesh with no resistance, and then fell harmlessly to the ground with a small cloud of dust. The cactus looked normal for a second or two, but then it slowly fell apart into pieces where it had been diced up by my spell. Chunks of cactus plopped onto the ground, and I stood back and admired my work.
“You know,” I joked, “for being the Hellfire of hatred, that spell felt really, reeallly good to use.”
“I’m actually surprised yours came out differently,” Cupi mused. “Any succubus or grunt soldier of the Demonic normally produces spears. I’ve seen throwing stars only once before, and that was by one of the Demon Lords.”
“I guess I’m just full of surprises,” I said with a shrug. “What the hell do you think is going on? Todd’s using fear powers, I’m using hatred powers, and I’m almost certain you guys could use each other’s powers if you wanted to, too.”
“That’s a hard pass from me,” Tris refused. “It was hard enough to learn all that necromancy shit, and the only reason I did that was so I could have somebody else do my dirty work for me. Why would I want to take all this time or, more importantly, effort, to learn a new skill?”
“Necromancy … ” Libidine pondered aloud as she surveyed the landscape.
The curvy succubus finally pointed over to the carcass of a roadrunner who hadn’t been lucky enough to cross the road safely. She closed her eyes, stuck out her hand toward the dead bird, and began to make a low-pitched humming noise with her mouth.
There was a quick flash of orange flame as the bird’s body started to twitch with life. It rolled over, hoisted itself up to its feet, and then looked around frantically.
“I brought him back, Jacob!” Liby exclaimed with wide eyes. “I know how to use necromancy powers now!”
“Great.” Tris sighed. “Now I’m gonna have to find a new schtick. The last thing I wanted to do this week was learn something new.”
“Not exactly,” Libidine reassured the brunette succubus. “That was a single, basic case of a dead animal. I’d have no idea how to resurrect something that’s been dead for hundreds of years or how to summon an army of zombie creatures or anything like that.”
Tris nodded her head and slapped Liby on the back. “It’s good to feel needed,” she giggled through a slightly-baked state.
“Why are we all suddenly learning new powers?” I asked the ladies. “This wasn’t even on the table yesterday, and now we’re all stealing each other’s specialty spells?”
