Succubus Lord 6, page 12
part #6 of Succubus Lord Series
“Wow.” Raph grinned. “How thoughtful of you! I cannot wait to tell the others.”
“Shhhh,” Todd reiterated as he put his finger over his mouth. “It’s a surprise, remember?”
“Ah.” Raph nodded and mirrored Todd’s action. “I won’t say a word, then. But please do hurry. The Council of the Exalted doesn’t like to be kept waiting.”
“We’ll hit you up the second we’re done,” I fake promised. “Just make sure you have minutes on your phone!”
Raph guffawed, and then he turned and started to walk away. A few strides in, he turned back and looked at us over his shoulder. “You always were the comedian, Jacob,” he laughed. “And to think, I thought you were going to do something foolish, like use the Porta ad Inferos.”
“Whaaaaat?” Todd scoffed. “Never, bro.”
“I look forward to hearing from you soon,” Raphael nodded, and then he outstretched his hands and was engulfed by a brilliant white light. Seconds later, the Archangel was gone.
“That was close,” I laughed nervously. “Way, waaay too close.”
“One thing’s for sure,” Libidine sighed as she stepped toward the medium-sized well that stood before us, “once we do this, there’s no going back.”
“Libidine is right,” Sia added and walked up to join her sister. “Mortals are forbidden from entering Hell through any channel other than death. If you thought you had a target on your back before, Jacob, this will make you public enemy number one for both Heaven and Hell.”
“It’s the only way we can rescue Invidia,” Cupiditas protested. “There is no other option. We’re here. We have the spell book. We’re doing this.”
“Cupi’s right.” I nodded to the madame. “We already came all this way. It’d be ridiculous to flake out now. Okay, so once word gets out that I’ve gone to Hell and back, I’ll have every paranormal entity in the universe gunning for me. So what? We haven’t faced an enemy yet we haven’t been able to defeat. And besides, if this mission is successful, we’ll be one succubus stronger.”
“It’s do or die, bro,” Todd interjected, “and the Toddster has no intention of dying today. I already know exactly how I’m gonna go out, with a bong in my left hand and the TV remote in my right. Or maybe my schlong. It all depends on if I’ll need boner pills when I’m six-hundred years old.”
“Todd … ” Libidine explained. “A demonic imp’s lifespan, unlike true demons who can only die if killed, is two-hundred years optimistically. If you think--”
“Shhhhhhhh,” the imp cut her off. “Let a guy dream, will ya?”
I sauntered over to Liby and Sia and put my arms around their shoulders. “No matter what happens in the coming days or months or years, we’ll face it together,” I reassured the succubi. “We’re a kick-ass team, and we’ll conquer any challenge, whether it be from the Demonic or the Divine.”
“Ever the optimist,” Libidine chuckled. “That’s why we love you so much, Jacob.”
“Really?” Todd asked curiously. “I always thought it was his horse-like cock? You girls make jokes about it all the time.”
I heard Gula let out a bashful giggle from behind, and Libidine looked down at the ground coyly.
“Well, that too,” she said playfully. “That definitely makes it a lot easier.”
“As much as I’d love to stand around and talk about Jacob’s cock all day long,” Cupi interjected, “we need to think about starting this spell. It’s not going to be easy, and the slightest misfire in its casting could cause some very, very bad things to happen.”
“Then let’s grab the book and get started.” I nodded in agreement. “We left it back at the Jeep.”
“I’ll get it!” Gula exclaimed happily, and then she backflipped into the air and flew off into the sky. “Be back quicker than a caffeinated jackrabbit.”
“Is that a thing people say?” I asked aloud as the redhead soared off toward our vehicle.
Todd just shrugged. “I dunno, bro,” he admitted. “I’m still trying to catch up with the lingo from ten years ago. Did you know people say the word ‘dope’ now even when it has nothing to do with drugs? I tried to buy some pot off some kids a few years ago because they kept saying they were ‘dope.’ Their parents were not very happy.”
“Are you sure it wasn’t because you were a twenty-something dude with unkempt hair and a goatee who was hanging around a playground?” I shot back with a raised eyebrow. “Stranger Danger and all that.”
Todd crossed his tiny arms across his chest. “Bro, you joke,” he chortled, “but those swings in the park were fucking therapeutic. Sometimes, those things would get me higher than the best weed in the state ever could. Those parents had nothing to be worried about. I only pushed a kid off once, and that was because he kept asking me where my great dane was and saying ‘ruh-roh’ every time I came close.”
“He totally deserved it,” I lied through a snort and then turned to the other succubi. “Before Gula gets back with the book, what exactly do we need to do to prepare for this spell? Is it a blood ritual, or a chanting spell, or what?”
“It’s … complicated,” Cupi sighed. “We’re going to have to do two different casts, one to open the portal, and the other to split and merge our souls. Sia and I were trying to interpret them on the drive out here, and it seems like one is mostly a hex and the other requires us to blend our DNA.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Todd protested. “If that means you guys are gonna have a massive orgy out here in the middle of the woods, count me out. Nobody’s gettin’ their DNA all up in the Toddster.”
“I was thinking strands of hair,” Cupi chuckled, “though your idea would be much more fun.”
“On second thought,” the imp sighed, “I’m sorry I said anything at all.”
The shadow of Gula appeared over the grass of the clearing as the beating of her massive wings rang out in the air. The curvy redhead fluttered down to an empty spot on the clearing, strutted over to me, and handed me the dusty old book.
“Thanks, Gula.” I smiled at the Sister of Gluttony. “You really were faster than a caffeinated jackrabbit.”
“In more ways than one.” The succubus winked. “But you already know that, right?”
“Well, not that fast,” I flirted back. “You take time to simmer. You are a redhead, after all.”
“Brrrroooooo,” Todd said with a roll of his eyes. “Less flirty-flirty, more spelly-spelly. The longer you two stand there and give each other the ‘fuck me’ eyes, the longer it’ll be before we’re all back at the mansion, lounging around watching Bigfoot Detective.”
“I second that,” Tris said as she pointed her finger at the imp and nodded. “I’d hate to miss our favorite show. There’s a new episode out this week where some dude in West Virginia claims he caught a sasquatch on his cell phone camera. I totally don’t want to miss that!”
“Now see?” Ira chimed in coyly. “We certainly can’t have Tris and Todd missing their documentary, now can we?”
Cupiditas stepped forward, snatched the book of spells out of my hands, and then began to rustle through the pages.
“While Cupi’s searching for our spell, we need to devise a strategy,” Sia declared as she took the lead on the situation. “Jacob and Todd are going to have to transverse through four Circles of Hell, each one with its own dangers. The First Circle isn’t too bad, but the second and the third contain deadly obstacles few have ever gotten past.”
“Like Vermis the Devil Worm.” Libidine shuddered. “He’s the guardian of the Third Circle, as well as the Circle’s main tormentor of souls.”
“Oh yeahhhh,” Todd mused. “I read about that thing. It’s like one of the sandworms from Beetlejuice, isn’t it?”
The Toddster spun around, morphed into the movie’s titular character, and threw out his arms playfully. “Sandworms … I hate ‘em myself!” he exclaimed.
“No, no, dude,” Tris explained. “I watched that movie like, twenty times when I went on my little Earthly adventure. Those things are adorable and charming. Vermis has razor-sharp teeth and giant horns on top of his head.”
“Horns, got it.” Todd spun around and turned back into himself. “So more like Tremors.”
“Oh god,” I laughed. “The less we talk about that, the better.”
“Don’t you dare insult that cinematic masterpiece, bro,” Todd warned with an extended finger. “If we’re doing Tremors, then I get to be Kevin Bacon. Jakey can be Fred Ward, Sia can be Reba McEntire, Cupi can be Ariana Richards, and Gula can be Finn Carter!”
There was a silence as we all stared at the imp.
“Todd, I don’t know any of those names other than Kevin Bacon,” I admitted.
The imp crossed his arms and clicked his tongue. “You uncultured swine,” he joked. “How did I ever become best friends with somebody who doesn’t even know the cast of Tremors?”
“Well, Kevin Bacon or not, it sounds like we need to figure out how to take down this giant Vermis creature if we want to make it to Azazel,” I observed. “Does he have any weaknesses?”
“Well he’s a giant worm, so he probably eats shit,” Todd observed. “That’s gotta be something.”
Sia let out a long sigh. “None that we know of,” she explained. “If Vermis had any sort of weakness, then somebody would have been able to defeat him long ago.”
“What about Dante?” I asked curiously. “He made it through all nine circles, right? How did he get past Vermis?”
“I don’t know,” Sia admitted. “I would imagine he snuck past or used non-violent methods.”
“Laaaaaaammmmmmmeeeeee,” Todd called out with his hands cupped over his mouth. “It ain’t a Todd and Jakey adventure unless the baddie gets his guts splattered all over the landscape.”
“There it is!” Cupi interrupted as she slapped her finger down on a page of the book. “The spell that will open the gates of Hell for us.”
“Casting a spell seems like soooo much work.” Tris sighed. “Why can’t we just hop on into the well? It’d be like an interdimensional waterslide!”
Ira, Cupi, and Sia all looked at their sister, completely dumbfounded.
“There are … many reasons, Tristitia,” Sia said as she facepalmed.
Ira patted Sia on the shoulder. “I’ll take it from here, Superbia,” she promised the madame. “I was the one who originally led us all out here, after all. The first issue is Jacob was born of the mortal world. As soon as his skin touched the fiery inferno of the portal down below, his entire body would be scorched by a wave of intense heat. With the spell we’re going to use, any being from any world can pass between the realms without harm.”
“Okayyy.” Tris nodded like a kindergartener listening to her teacher. “But why the second spell?”
“The soul-merging spell is key, as well,” Ira continued. “The magic that will be required to keep the portal open is going to require at least four or five of us succubi to stay up here and monitor it at all times.”
“Wait.” I shook my head in denial. “I only get to take one or two of you with me?”
“Of course not,” Sia explained. “That’s where the soul-merge comes in. If all six of us combine our soul with yours, Jacob, you can summon us at will from anywhere in the universe. One or two at a time, of course.”
“Of course,” I echoed as it all started to make sense to me. “So that way, I can bring one or two of you into the action down in Hell without making the portal unstable.”
“Precisely,” Sia said with a grin. “Perhaps the best part is that, once our souls have merged, we will be able to see everything you do, Jacob. We’ll be aware of everything that goes on down there, whether we are present or not.”
“Genius,” I whistled. “You guys really outdid yourselves this time.”
“We try,” Cupi flirted as she brushed her blonde locks behind her ears. “Now, let’s get this show on the road. Ira, I figured you’d want to collect the samples.”
“Hell yes I do!” the Sister of Wrath exclaimed with almost too much excitement in her voice. “I’ll try to be gentle, but you all know that’s not in my nature.”
The slim, dark haired succubus dashed around to each succubus, one-by-one, and plucked a singular hair from their head. When she finally got to me, she stared hungrily in my eyes as she reached up and yanked a piece of my brown locks from my scalp. She did it rather forcefully, but I wasn’t going to complain. Finally, she slid her hand up the side of her face and snatched a piece of her own raven-colored hair.
Once Ira was done, she formed a pile of our locks in her palm and balled her fist around it. Then, she strutted over and stood before Cupi with her hand outstretched.
“I’ve got a handful of hair whenever you’re ready, sister,” she giggled. “If I had a nickel for every time I’ve been in this situation … ”
Despite Ira’s joke, Cupi just shot her a stone-cold glare. The succubus motioned for all of us to come in closer, and then she began to start the incantation.
“You know the drill, guys,” the fit succubus explained. “Repeat after me in as close to perfect Latin as you possibly can.”
The entire group bowed their heads and began the incantation. Though my Latin skills were a tad rusty, I could just make out the gist of what we were saying. We were asking the Exalted One to bless our souls and saying something about how love binds the universe together. The incantation ended with a final plea to merge our souls with those of the ones we truly love, so we could remain with them for all eternity.
It’d actually be pretty romantic, if we weren’t exploiting it so we could sneak into the pits of Hell.
At first, my friends and I were completely off-kilter with our chants. After two or three times of running through the spell, however, our words began to meld together in unison. As they did so, Ira’s fist began to glow with a bright, blinding white light.
“Touch Jacob,” Cupi commanded the Sister of Wrath. “He’s the one who will be the keeper of the souls.”
“Gladly,” Ira cooed as she placed her glowing hand on my right bicep.
The second I felt the succubus’ tender touch, my entire right arm lit up with the light of the spell. It was like thousands of tiny pins and needles were running across my flesh, but in a way that was oddly calming. The nebulous white light eventually started to morph into six small patches across my arm, and then its glow resided.
Now, where the spell had formed, sat six tattoos.
Although each of the images was abstract, I could instantly tell they represented the individual succubi. On my shoulder sat a pair of black angel wings, symbolic of the fallen angel Cupiditas. Directly underneath was a glowing violet eye which I assumed stood for the mind-control queen of the group, Liby. My forearm held the symbols of the other four succubi, a flaming whip for Ira, a double-sided battle axe for Gula, and a golden hand for Sia. Then there was Tris’ symbol, a lit blunt.
I nearly doubled over in laughter when I saw that one.
“Jesus, bro,” Todd scoffed. “That’s a really, really nice sleeve, and it was free! Maybe I need to try one of these soul-merging spells. Then again, I swore I wasn’t going to soil this temple of a body with tats like I did with my flabby human one.”
“When you want to call upon one of us, just picture our likeness in your head and touch our symbol,” Cupi explained. “The corresponding tattoo will glow, and then whichever one of us you need will materialize from it.”
“That’s fucking badass,” I admitted, “and very useful.”
Cupi sighed, looked up from her book, and nodded toward the portal. “That means there’s only one spell left,” she continued. “The one that allows you to pass through the portal unscathed.”
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Libidine asked as the eight of us approached the Porta ad Inferos. “We can try to find another way to save Sister Invidia.”
I put my hand longingly against Liby’s face and looked her deep in her purple eyes. “This is the only way, Liby,” I reiterated. “I wish there was another way, but this is something I have to do. Something we have to do.”
The dark-haired succubus’ eyes filled with tears, and I tried to calm her fears with a long, warm embrace.
“I’ll come back,” I whispered into the succubus’ ear. “I promise.”
When I released my hold on Libidine, she quickly wiped away a tear and gave me a sorrowful smile. Then, she turned to her sisters, and the six succubi formed a tight ring around the well that contained the Porta ad Inferos.
Meanwhile, Todd and I cautiously climbed up onto its rocky rim. The well was old, and I was sure it’s structure was going to give out at any second and send us both tumbling to our doom. Thankfully, it just had to hold together long enough for my friends to cast their spell.
“Let us begin,” Cupi announced grimly. “Repeat my words, sisters.”
All six of the succubi bowed their heads as Cupi began to speak in tongues. The rest of the Circle of Sin listened carefully before joining in on the cast. Soon, the entire groups’ voices united as one.
A bright green light erupted from inside of the well, and for a moment I feared that it was going to knock Todd and I off balance. However, we held our ground, and the glowing green portal of Hellfire grew taller and taller until it was nearly at our feet.
The succubi stopped their chant as all of their eyes fell on the imp and I. “This is it, Jacob,” Cupi explained. “The spell has been cast. Jump through that portal, and you will arrive at the Gates of Hell.”
I looked over at Todd, who was being surprisingly quiet. The imp looked mortified. His eyes were wide with fear, and his entire body looked like it was shaking nervously.
“Hey,” I said to get the imp’s attention. “Unus pro omnibus, omnes pro uno.”
My words must have calmed Todd because he perked up and let a wide grin spread across his face. “All for one, and one for all,” he repeated. “Geronimo!”
Without another moment’s hesitation, Todd propelled himself into the air, did a double somersault, and dove into the portal head-first like an Olympic diver.
