Billionaire Blaze, page 37
She had been upset and I didn’t want to give up, but I also knew she wouldn’t want to see me. Eventually I found Daniel. He was coming back along one of the paths to the huts in the European section of the site.
I met him partway and he stopped, studying me for a second.
“You found her?” I asked, not sure how to read him and his expression.
“I did. You’re an asshole and you don’t deserve her.”
I lifted an eyebrow at the vehemence in his voice.
“Don’t get me wrong, you’re still one of my best friends, but Kit was one special lady and still is. You shouldn’t have let her go.”
“I’m starting to get that impression from quite a few people,” I replied, the ache in my chest only getting worse as more people I trusted pointed out that I’d been a complete moron.
Daniel reached out and pulled me into a hug before I could stop him, and for a few seconds, I let it happen, appreciating that despite his words, we were still going to stay friends.
“So…what are you going to do about this?” Daniel asked when he finally let me go. “Seems like you need a plan. And I know you. You’ll stew on this, trying to process it until there’s nothing that can be done.”
I set my jaw, intending to argue with him about his assessment of me, but I knew he was at least partially right. On top of that, I was pretty sure I wanted to keep the ally I had.
“Add me to the list of people willing to help unfuck this, if it’s at all unfuckable.” Henry came up behind me.
“Great. Anywhere quiet we can go to talk and sort this?” Daniel looked around and I considered the situation. I was pretty sure Kit wasn’t going to leave wherever she had gone now or show her face. I’d broken her heart and she’d already fled the scene.
“Sarai just told everyone she’s had an allergic reaction to something in the food and needs to rest. So we’ve got a little while to work on something.” Henry grinned and then looked around, trying to figure out if the huts near us were available.
Although I knew some of them had people staying in them already, and others were on the tour, I didn’t know which ones were left empty. I hadn’t been part of the showcase planning beyond showing up and doing my part to promote it. There was a chance Henry knew, however.
Daniel was even less helpful in that regard. He was a guest and simply here because he cared about me. For now, that alone filled me with gratitude.
“Let me see if I have a list of which huts are supposed to be unoccupied.” Henry pulled out his phone and navigated to his emails. Sarai had been communicating with him as much as me and he might have the needed info.
Before he could get much further, however, Sarai came wandering back.
“Why do you three look like you’re up to something?”
“Because we are,” Daniel shot back with a grin. “Lukas needs help making a certain lady feel significantly better.”
“Well, that’s something we can all agree on, but if anything you three attempt isn’t the absolute perfect idea, I will personally escort all of you off the premises and make sure you’re never welcome again.” Sarai looked between the three of us, and I gulped.
I didn’t doubt she meant every single word. If I didn’t get this right, I was going to make it far, far worse. “Will you help us?”
She pursed her lips, not answering me for several seconds. I was about to apologize for even asking when she nodded. “I’ll see what I can do. And let me guess. You want a hut to hide in while you scheme?”
Daniel took her hand and kissed the back of it, his eyes twinkling the whole time. “You bless us in our mission. I hope that’s not too much to ask.”
“All right, follow me and I’ll find you somewhere and help you get an idea of what to do. Then you’re on your own. But while you’re at this business, you might want to make sure Lukas gains some of your charm.”
Daniel chuckled and I rolled my eyes despite the gratitude I felt. With their help, maybe I could at least take away some of the damage I had done to Kit’s life. She was turning down jobs because I had broken her heart. I didn’t dare to hope I could ever have her forgive me for what I’d done. And as a dom, the way I’d failed to take care of her, I knew I didn’t deserve it.
I did want to make sure the rest of her life was as happy as it could be and as full as she should have it. Her career shouldn’t be compromised because of me.
Sarai led us down a side path between several huts until we reached the end of a cluster and then she used her master keys to open up one of them.
“If you make a mess in here, you’re paying for it to be cleaned up,” Sarai said as we all trooped inside.
There was no way I was arguing with her when she was in this mood.
“I’ll send you something for a cleaning fee when we’re done, no matter how we leave it.” If I was fixing this, money wasn’t going to matter. A glance at Henry had him making a note of it, too. Having a PA was certainly going to make this easier, but I was sure a lot of the effort needed to come from me.
Sarai sighed as she noticed Henry helping pick up the pieces. “You’re lucky I’m sure he’s here helping ‘cause he wants to be and not because you’re paying him to.”
“He’s good to me. We all make mistakes. I’m happy to help him fix one of his worst.” Henry looked smug for a brief second and I knew no matter how much I paid him, I would owe him after this.
“All right. The most important place to start is her career,” I said. “She’s turning down jobs because of me. I don’t want that. Is there some way we can fix it that she’ll accept?”
Sarai shook her head. “As much as I admire you for wanting to start there, I’ve tried everything I can think of. She won’t work with anyone else. Doesn’t want to be burned by it all again and take any more risks. All she wants is to go back to the UK.”
No one spoke for several minutes. No matter how much I wanted to put this right, it seemed it might be impossible.
“What if she could work with you again?” I asked, the cogs in my head beginning to turn.
Sarai lifted an eyebrow and considered the question. “How do you propose that might work?”
CHAPTER NINETY
Kit
By the time half an hour had passed, I was sitting around the table with my friends. A few of them had gone back to the restaurant to get more food and drink, even though I was supposed to be allergic to something.
“People are beginning to leave now,” Jeff said. “They’ve all seen the place and schmoozed. Even the press has everything they could want. Little bit of drama and plenty of photos.”
I frowned. The drama had to be because of me. After everything I’d done to stay out of the limelight, it seemed I had found it anyway. It didn’t make me feel any better.
“Why don’t we start getting ready for the road trip? Take our minds off all of this. If we’re pretty much done here, then we can get going and have some fun.” Stacy finished the last of her drink and got up as if she wanted to make it a reality right then and there.
Most of the rest of the group hadn’t finished eating yet, however. I didn’t feel very hungry, but even I had nibbled on some of my favorite foods. I liked the idea of leaving as soon as I could and was more than happy to leave whenever they were all ready.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come back here at the end?” Stacy asked. “We’d love to see some more of the places you’ve been visiting.”
Although I wanted to shake my head and put this whole place behind me, I knew there were restaurants and stores that I’d found without Lukas. Places I had gone alone or with Sarai. We hadn’t been able to go everywhere in the few days we’d had.
“There could be one or two places you might be able to persuade me to add to the trip…but at the end. After we’ve been away for a few days.”
“That works for us.” Thankfully Stacy dropped it there and I knew that gave me time to change my mind again if I really didn’t want to come back. Getting away for a week with them would make it a lot easier to sort my emotions out. There would no longer be any fear I would run into Lukas anywhere, and I would be able to talk.
No more work, no more pressure. Just friends and fun and no men. I was more than ready for it.
We were finishing up and beginning to clean up after ourselves so we left the hut the way we’d found it when Daniel came back. He had Henry with him, and I lifted an eyebrow, the familiar fear that Lukas might be coming along behind him rising in me.
Henry held his hands up as several of my friends shifted, almost as if they were bodyguards. “Not here to cause trouble. Daniel told me I could find you here when I asked him. He made me swear to be kind and not upset you further.”
“Thank you, Daniel,” I replied, sounding colder than I’d expected. I folded my arms, not sure what Henry could have to say.
“It’s a personal thing. I’ve been talking to Sarai. She said you’re heading back to England and don’t want to take on any more jobs. I know it’s your choice, but I also know that my boss is part of the reason you might be turning down other work. All I wanted to come and say was, please don’t let what happened between you and him stop you from being happy and living your best life.”
Although I opened my mouth to respond to Henry, I closed it again with a snap. I didn’t know what to say. I hadn’t expected anything so caring from him. More than once it had seemed as if he didn’t like me.
“I know friends mean a lot and yours are in England. But you have the chance to do some great things too. At least take some time to consider the offers you’ve been made. And if there’s anything I can do to keep a certain person out of your way, or to help ease your mind about the future—anything, really—I want you to feel like you can ask that of me.” Henry reached out with his business card, and it looked like it was his personal one, not his work one.
“Thank you,” I said as I took it. Right now, I had no intention of ever using it, but I would have been lying if I said I didn’t appreciate the gesture.
Henry backed off.
“I hope I’ll see you again sometime, but if not, good luck with whatever happens in your life. You deserve a lot of success.” With that, Henry left. Daniel lingered while I stared at the business card, struggling to process everything.
I wanted nothing more than to walk away from Lukas and everything associated with him, but the universe didn’t plan on letting me out that easily, or so it seemed.
Daniel coughed and looked a little sheepish when I finally looked up at him. “Is there any way I could add a similar sentiment?”
“Did Sarai send you both?” I asked, my eyes narrowing.
“Not really. She did ask me to show Henry where you were, but only under the promise that neither of us would tell Lukas.” He shrugged as if it was the best apology he had. My friends chuckled.
“So you all want Kit to stay here in the US and work with you lot some more?” Stacy asked, taking the focus off me for a moment. I had been adamant I didn’t want something like this to stop me going home. But having so many of them tell me they thought it was wrong was having an impact.
“Do you all think I should stay as well?” I asked, figuring Daniel might as well stay to hear their opinions. I already knew exactly what Sarai thought about it, but everyone else had been more conservative with sharing their thoughts.
None of them spoke, all of them looking between each other like they wanted to nominate someone else to give their verdict. I exhaled, pretty sure it meant they agreed with Daniel, Henry and Sarai, even if they weren’t going to say it.
“If I accepted a job here again, it would have to be one I’d be sure to love. I loved this one, but mostly because Sarai understood me and trusted me. I couldn’t work for anyone who didn’t give me that freedom.”
Daniel’s face lit up. “And if that kind of job was guaranteed? One with the right boss, a good budget and plenty of freedom?”
I let out a wry chuckle, not sure I knew what to say in the face of such perseverance. “I’d consider it. But I make no promises of any kind. Is this the point where you tell me you already have the perfect plan in place and that’s why you’re here?”
Thankfully Daniel shook his head. “A project in place, no. I can do one thing well, and it involves a football, not miracles. But do I think someone like Sarai might be able to find the perfect project to fit that bill if you give her, say…a week? Yes.”
“A week, huh?” I asked, knowing full well that was exactly how long my road trip was. I glanced over at my friends, all sorts of suspicions growing in my mind. Stacy looked down, her cheeks a little redder than usual. It seemed she had been scheming.
“If you have something to pitch to me before I fly away, or Sarai does, then I will consider it. Is that enough?”
Daniel came forward and took my hand before giving the back of it a kiss. “Perfect, my dear. I’ll leave you be. I have to get back to the team. But I’ll see you in a week’s time.”
I watched him hurry away, not sure what to say or do next. My world didn’t seem to ever remain static, and I was beginning to feel like I wasn’t in control. When I thought someone else was in control and worthy of that, I’d loved it. Now, I felt adrift and as if I was having to fight just to stay sane.
CHAPTER NINETY-ONE
Lukas
I paced the floor of the hut, hoping the back-and-forth wouldn’t wear a permanent groove in the soft new carpet. I was alone, and I wasn’t coping very well with it.
Sarai had been the first to leave, needing to go back to her showcase whether she wanted to help me or not. And it made sense. If she was going to help me, then this showcase needed to be everything she hoped it would be. I still didn’t have a firm plan.
Unless Kit could be talked around into considering another project at all, there was nothing I could do, but I was willing to take it one step at a time. The first step was getting her to agree to hear a pitch of some kind and actually consider it.
Daniel was determined to get that much out of her, and Sarai promised to do everything she could to at least get us that far. She’d made it clear the rest was almost entirely on my shoulders.
If Kit showed a willingness to listen, I needed to be the one to make sure what was said to her was worth her time—and an actual reward.
Henry had somehow persuaded Sarai to give him the contact details of one of Kit’s friends, although he wasn’t going to let me have them. And he had gotten a confirmation from them that they would encourage her as long as they also felt it was in her best interests and not some move by me to get into her underwear again.
All of them had made it very clear I wasn’t allowed to hurt her again and I’d nodded and pointed out that for now, my plan was just to make sure she didn’t lose her career advancement opportunities because of me.
Now I was alone in a hut, pacing a carpet and surrounded by a thousand reminders of her. I ached, but it was almost a pleasant ache at this point. After everything, I knew I deserved to be hurting. And only stopping her from hurting would do anything to ease the pain.
That seemed right after the idiot I had been.
Alone, I couldn’t help thinking of the pain I had caused and the trust I had breached as her dom. She had trusted me to take care of her at the same time as pushing her limits. I had asked her to do something she wasn’t comfortable with, and then I hadn’t been there for her when she needed comfort. It was a huge breach of trust.
Even if I somehow helped her career and persuaded her to go on another date with me again, I didn’t deserve to be her dom. Not if I couldn’t do it right.
I exhaled my frustration, my fingers curling into fists in anger at myself. I’d been so scared for myself I had forgotten what it was to be brave for another. To control another person in a way that benefitted them, a dom had to be in total control of themselves. To be self-aware. And to always be available and kind. My previous hurt had turned me into a monster.
Kit deserved far better than a monster.
Eventually Henry came back and a single raised eyebrow as he took in my state let me know I must look like shit. “You really do love this girl, don’t you?”
“I think I do. And I can’t let her continue to hurt if there’s anything I can do to stop it.”
“Well, I’ve done my part. She has my card and her friend promised to at least make her listen to the suggestion. Daniel is doing what he can and Sarai has promised to help. The rest is on you. Can you get the investors needed to make this happen?”
Henry sat down, calm enough that I felt I could join him and stop wearing a groove.
“It depends entirely on how well this project is received, but the general view seems to be good so far. We’re going to need to get contact details of more investors from here.” I considered the angle we needed. “But Kit still hasn’t promised.”
“No. She hasn’t, and you might not get that promise. And even if she does listen to the pitch, you might have a project you’re committed to that doesn’t have her involved in it. Or that you have to part-fund. Can you handle that?” Henry wasn’t cutting me any slack or pulling any punches but it was what I needed to hear.
“I can’t live with myself if I don’t try and put this right. If that means I end up making a project happen that reminds me every day of what I lost, at least it will also remind me I did everything I could to fix my mistakes.”
Henry seemed satisfied with this and pulled out a bunch of business cards, no doubt gathered today. “I’m going to remind you of saying this if you complain about the project once we are doing it.”
“Please do. It will help me focus.” I grinned, not sure how we were finding humor in the situation but grateful that we were.
We went over the possible list of investors to decide whom we could contact who might want to join Sarai in the business venture, and it was soon apparent we didn’t have enough of them. I needed to go and talk to more of them, if they hadn’t left yet.
