Billionaire Blaze, page 30
I frowned, not sure how to respond. I had enjoyed an evening with them, and it had been a fun experiment, but it had also kept me on edge in a different way. I both wanted the distraction today and didn’t. Every time I thought about putting them back inside me, I considered how long the event was and how easily I might be able to remove them.
When I knew I was only going to be dinner, and it was likely I wouldn’t be far from a restroom or even the hotel room, I had been brave enough to use it. Now that I knew how effective they were and didn’t know how easy it would be to remove them and stash them somewhere, I didn’t know what I wanted to do.
The dress I was wearing didn’t have any pockets, and while I had a clutch purse, it wasn’t big enough for me to shove the balls in. So if I put them in, there would be no easy way to remove them and keep them safe.
If I did this, I would be wearing them for almost all of the day. And that was a lot to handle. I wasn’t sure I could do that.
“Will you do this again today? If I make the same promise as last time?” He pulled the small bag out of his pocket and pressed it into my hand right there in the restaurant.
I paled, but he pulled back before I could say yes or no. Almost immediately, someone called his name, surprise in their voice.
Lukas and I both looked up to see a man coming over to us, weaving his way through the tables.
“You should go to the bathroom now,” Lukas whispered before getting up and heading toward the newcomer. I was left sitting at our table by myself for a few seconds, not sure I could hide the object in my hand and make it to the bathroom.
I watched Lukas as he greeted the man warmly and ignored me. There would be only a short while before I would be expected to be social again, and I had to make up my mind whether to do as he’d asked me or not.
And if I didn’t do as he asked me, I had to figure out what to do with the small bag he’d shoved into my hand. It wasn’t as if I could give it back to Lukas while he was talking to other people. And I couldn’t carry it around all day.
There was only one solution. After glancing around at the other patrons in the restaurant, I tried to figure out if anyone would notice. Everyone appeared to be deep in their conversations, and I was worried that any second, Lukas would draw attention to me again.
Almost shaking with fear, I got up and hurried to the nearest restroom. I didn’t meet anyone’s eyes as I went, not wanting anyone to notice me or what I was doing. I was sure that my cheeks were bright red and my hands were shaking, but I had to keep going.
By the time I reached the restroom and could lock myself in a stall, I was barely breathing, each step difficult to take. Thankfully, there was no one else in there and I could hide and calm down. As I took several deep, slow breaths, I opened my hand and stared at the small bag resting on my palm.
They weren’t large, and it was almost comical that something so small could have such an impact, but I felt them both emotionally and when they were inside me.
It took me several more minutes to screw up the courage to use them and do as Lukas had asked, but I managed it, and I tucked the rolled-up empty pouch into my hand again, hoping it wouldn’t be obvious I was carrying anything. I was going to have to pass it back to Lukas without anyone noticing.
It was easier to walk out knowing the biggest secret I had was hidden inside me again, even if I could feel it. I had managed this part before, and at least for a little while, I knew I could handle it again.
Thankfully, Lukas was nearby and glanced at my hands before beckoning me over to his conversation. As he introduced me to the men talking to him, he slipped his hand in mine and took the rolled-up bag without anyone noticing.
Finally, I relaxed. I had done as he asked, and he had helped me hide it. For now, that was enough.
CHAPTER SEVENTY-TWO
Lukas
Having Kit by my side as we walked into the game box made me feel on top of the world. It had been a long time since I had been able to hold my head this high and feel as if not only was I successful in my career, but I had a well-dressed, good woman on my arm.
I couldn’t wait to introduce her properly to Daniel. She looked stunning in her dress, wearing one of the outfits I’d bought for her. Even knowing I had paid for it and she hadn’t really tried to didn’t feel too bad. It was a small price to pay to have this moment. To feel like I was the man everyone envied.
Kit was shy but in all the right ways. She didn’t make loud remarks or offer too forced or inappropriate an opinion on anything. I didn’t doubt that some of the men wished they could be taking her home at the end of the day. Even Sarai declared that she was adorable and that it was good to see her enjoy life.
Of course, Kit struggled to understand the game. If anything, that made her even more adorable to everyone. I led her to the large window where we could all stand or sit and look out over the game. The commentary was fed in as well, and we could hear the crowds roaring and cheering.
“Okay, come stand beside me, and I’ll explain it all to you,” Sarai said, taking Kit’s arm and putting a drink into her other hand.
I smiled as Kit looked back at me to check it was okay to divert away. Although I wanted to have her by my side at every moment and enjoy knowing she was obeying me and no doubt feeling the toys, I also wanted her to feel she didn’t need to be glued to my side. She was mine, and we both knew it.
The game passed quickly in a haze of food, alcohol, and people to talk to. Sarai and Richard had invited more than a few people into the box, and almost all of them had business reasons to be in the area as well as for the fun of watching the game.
With Kit in a much better dress, all the women were far more polite to her, but I kept an eye on her just the same. I had to be her safe place. Every time she looked my way, I smiled at her again, but I kept my distance. She appeared to be having fun, and I didn’t want to interrupt her chance to gain confidence among these people.
As the game got into the third quarter and the Bears were up ten points, I relaxed a little more. Daniel would be in a good mood when we caught up with him after, and the mood was getting better in the box. The first hour or so of conversation was always greetings, small talk and a little business.
After that the talk would turn to how business had been going for everyone. What we were all working on. There were only so many ways I could phrase the same few sentences to make it sound unique. Now we were getting to the reason we were all here. To talk about future business.
“Do you know what you’ll be working on after this?” Wayne asked me, one of the businessmen who had invested a small amount in Sarai’s project.
“There will always be a few minor projects that my team and I fit in, but big project-wise, I’m looking for the next one,” I replied, grateful to talk about something different. It was also the honest answer. My team handled a few other projects alongside my main one all the time, and I kept an eye on all of those, but they handled everything for those whose budget didn’t stretch to having my personal attention.
I wanted a new project, and I wanted it to be something decent. As the man nodded and launched into some sort of pitch for an idea of his I found my mind distracted, however. Whatever I did next, I knew I wanted to consider Kit in my plans. Everything had been going well with her so far. But would it stick after this project was over?
Neither Kit nor I had brought it up, and I didn’t know what she wanted to do. Would she be going back to England?
I zoned back into the conversation as he was finishing up, and I instantly felt bad.
“I’m sure we’ll get the funding in place soon and we’ll be able to get started right after that.” Wayne smiled as if this settled the matter, but it gave me a way to save myself from not taking in everything he’d said.
“Why don’t you email me all the details and when you expect to have funding in place and we’ll talk more about it. I’d need to look over the details and check that it’s going to go through before I can commit to anything.” I smiled like this was just some formality and hoped he wouldn’t feel like I’d led him on later.
Nine times out of ten, projects didn’t get their funding if they were as ambitious as Wayne often was. I didn’t think it was really going to happen, but this way I could at least be polite about it.
Wayne grinned like I had said yes. It was almost amusing, but I knew there was a chance I would burst his bubble. So far it didn’t hurt, however. If he could get the funding and I didn’t want to do it myself, I knew Henry was chomping at the bit to manage a bigger project. I wasn’t saying no exactly.
Feeling as if I wanted to escape from the business talk for a bit, I backed up and looked around for Kit. At first I didn’t see her, and I frowned as I slowly scanned the room. Everyone else I knew well was still in the room, Henry with Sarai and Richard briefly, but I couldn’t see Kit anywhere.
I considered where she might be and the circumstances. She’d already had my toy inside her longer today than she had two days ago, and I feared that she might have gone to the bathroom to take them out. If so, she wouldn’t have anywhere to put them and I knew I had pushed her hard in the first place. She’d been nervous about wearing them.
Wanting to be sure that she was okay, and taking responsibility for her wellbeing, I made my way toward the nearest door and the route to the restrooms. I still didn’t see her and it was clear that she had left the box, but I heard her voice as soon as I opened the door.
“I really appreciate that,” she said to someone. I hung back, slipping through the door but still not able to see her yet. Whom was she talking to?
“I mean it, beautiful. You’re exactly the type of woman I want on my project.”
I recognized the voice. It was the guy from the first night. Peter. My mood darkened. If this man was continuing to flirt with Kit, then he was walking on dangerous ground.
As I took another step to the side, I could see him. He was leaning against the wall with his back to me and it was clear that Kit was on the other side of him.
“Thank you. I would definitely be interested in your project. I’m flattered that you’d consider me. Why don’t you message me about it?” Kit sounded her usual sweet self, and I clenched my jaw and fists. Kit was flirting with Peter as much as he was flirting with her.
I didn’t want to hear any more and stalked back into the box. She’d made it very clear that she was going to work with whoever showed an interest in her, and it made me wonder if I’d been played just as much.
Not wanting to talk to anyone just yet, I marched up to the window and focused on the game, arms crossed and all my other emotions locked up deep inside. Maybe Daniel had been wrong and none of this had truly been worth it.
CHAPTER SEVENTY-THREE
Kit
Standing in front of Peter, I wanted to cry. He had blocked my way in returning to the box and I didn’t know how to get past him. He had seemed friendly enough at first, but had gradually grown more flirtatious as we’d been standing out in the hallway together.
“Surely you can give me a more confident answer than that?” he asked as he reached out and ran his fingers down a stray lock of my hair.
“I really can’t. It’s complicated being here and working for too long. I need to go back to the UK for a while. After that, we’ll have to see. It’s…complicated.” I smiled, trying to walk that fine line between being vague and not making the guy in front of me angry. It was always hard to know how a man was going to react to being rejected.
Ever since I could remember, I knew to be careful how I turned anything down. The truth was that I would be wherever Lukas wanted me as long as he wanted me there.
Peter studied me for a moment, his eyes dark and his smile no longer lighting up his face the same way. I tried not to show my fear or let my smile falter. But I was aware I had been away from Lukas and the box full of people for a while now. I didn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea.
“We’re missing the game,” I said, trying to sound very eager to get back. “Definitely message me and I’ll keep your project in mind. There’s a chance we can make it work.”
As I finished speaking I shifted to go around him, fixing my gaze on the door to the box and the safe place beyond it. Please don’t grab me on the way past. Please don’t grab me.
Thankfully, Peter kept his hands to himself and didn’t follow me. I exhaled with pure relief as I pushed the door open and went inside the box again. I was shaking and unsure what to do with myself at first. The toys inside me didn’t feel so fun, and I only wanted to feel safe and calm again.
I looked for Lukas and found him staring at the game with his arms crossed. Although I didn’t know the game well, I assumed his expression was a sign that his favorite team wasn’t doing great. At least I hoped that was what was bothering him.
Either way, I knew he promised me I could take his hand and give it a few squeezes if I was struggling, and right now, I definitely wasn’t okay. I hurried up to Lukas, grateful that no one stopped me or called my name to get me to talk to them.
As I drew up beside Lukas, he visibly jumped, as if he had been lost in his own world.
“Hey,” I said, my voice coming out smaller than I’d hoped. He didn’t uncross his arms, and I found myself unsure of what to do. I couldn’t force him to take my hand when his hand was unavailable, and I didn’t know what to do in this situation.
“Hello,” he replied after glancing at me and looking away again. The word came out cold and almost dismissive. I frowned, the feeling of unease not going away at all. He had promised to be my safe place in all this and now he seemed like he was anything but.
I swallowed, trying to fight the emotions tightening my chest and making it hard to breathe.
“Can I hold your hand?” I asked, almost whispering the words, my voice coming out far weaker and smaller than I wanted it to.
Again he glanced at me, and I looked up at him, not masking how I was feeling for a brief moment. Still he hesitated, but as he looked away and back at the game, he relaxed and lowered his arms.
I turned to the game, too, hoping it would give me something to focus on, and slipped my hand into his. At first he didn’t appear to want to hold it, but I squeezed his hand a few times, and he at least let me keep my hand there.
Despite him at least doing that, he didn’t utter a word. He offered no further comfort and kept his attention on the final quarter of the game. It helped to be close to him, and at least I knew Peter wouldn’t try anything else, but I didn’t feel like this was making me any calmer.
Something was wrong, and Lukas wasn’t letting me know what.
Not long after he let me take his hand, Richard came up on the other side of us.
“Enjoying the game?” he asked me.
I nodded, not trusting my voice to hold out while I answered.
“Lukas, you not happy with the guys? They’re winning, aren’t they?” Richard smiled as if he was trying to break the ice.
“They are. And playing well.” Lukas gave him a half-hearted smile in return, and both of them seemed to ignore me.
“You know the quarterback, correct?”
“I do. Daniel. He’s a good man. Got a good team around him, and they care about each other. It makes them stronger.” Finally, Lukas started to sound more like his normal self, but he loosened his grip on my fingers at the same time. Not that it had been tight to begin with.
Not sure what else to do and aware I wasn’t really part of the conversation or seemingly wanted here, I let go of Lukas’ hand and shifted back a bit. He didn’t seem to even notice that I was leaving as he and Richard launched into a conversation I didn’t understand about the season stats so far.
I looked around to see if there was anyone I could talk to who might make me feel safe. Whatever was bothering Lukas, it seemed to be about me, and I got the impression he wasn’t going to help me at all.
Considering he had his toy inside me, and it was making it harder to focus on everything, I was more than a little upset, but I was also angry. He had made me a promise that if I did as he asked, he would take care of me. I had pushed myself to do it even when I wasn’t sure I wanted to. If this was how he was going to repay me, I was no longer interested in playing this game and seeking his comfort.
Thankfully, Sarai noticed I was looking around and came over to me, carrying another drink and handing it to me.
“Well, this is going great. Plenty of people asking to work with all of us,” she whispered as she handed me the glass of bubbly. “You should be very proud of yourself. I’ve had so much interest in your designs, and Richard has been singing your praises to all who will listen.”
“Thank you,” I replied, flushing a little and not sure what else to say. If nothing else, Sarai had done her best to be kind to me. I felt safer with her than anyone else right now. As she linked her arm through mine and made it clear she wanted me with her for the next few minutes, I gulped down several mouthfuls of champagne and tried not to think about anything else.
If we were going to mingle, and Lukas didn’t want me at his side, I would handle this another way. If nothing else, people were at least reacting well to the dress Lukas bought me. That had to be worth a little appreciation, but I was done doing what he asked me without trying to enjoy this gathering in my own way.
Sarai was also a little tipsy, although I got the impression she would handle it better than I could and often did business in this state when projects were going well. Either way, she encouraged me to drink, and I wasn’t going to argue. Liquid courage was better than no courage.
CHAPTER SEVENTY-FOUR
It took me by surprise when everyone in the box cheered at the end of the game. I didn’t know enough about it to follow who was winning, and Sarai kept me talking to her and several of the other women near the back of the box.
