Redeeming Luke, page 12
part #1 of Days of Grace Series
Ruth scowled at her friend. “I can’t get comfortable is all.”
Olivia’s brow pinched. “You’re starting to look pale again. Are you feeling sick?”
“I’m fine.”
“Girls,” Miss Darby interrupted. Her brow arched. Her lips formed a firm line.
Ruth and Olivia both apologized and sank a little lower in their seats. Miss Darby went on to discuss the World War, instructing the students that there were would be a test on the subject on Friday.
By the end of the day, exhaustion had claimed Ruth through and through. The heat sapped whatever energy she had in reserves, to the point that she didn’t even want to get out of her seat. The classroom emptied and Olivia leaned in to her.
“Should you see the doctor? Should I go get Luke?”
Ruth didn’t answer. The sense of dread that had been slowly creeping in over the past two months rendered her speechless. She couldn’t say out loud what she was thinking. She heard Miss Darby’s heels clicking on the classroom linoleum. She sat in the desk directly in front of Ruth, and turned in the seat to face her.
“Ruth?”
Miss Darby’s blue eyes studied her. “I’m very concerned about you. I’ve been watching you these last couple of months, and you don’t seem to be getting better.”
“It’s still really hot.” Ruth shrugged. “Dr. Brighton says I’m over sensitive to the heat.”
Olivia chimed in, “I heard the heat is breaking all kinds of records all around the country.”
Miss Darby nodded. “Mmm hmm.” Her brow furrowed and she turned her attention back to Ruth. “I need to ask you a very personal question.”
Ruth fidgeted with a loose thread on her dress. “Okay.”
“When was the last time you—” Miss Darby glanced at Olivia, then back at Ruth. “You had your cycle?”
Ruth held Miss Darby’s gaze. The words stuck in her throat. The harder she tried to speak, the tighter her throat clenched. She whispered. “Two months.”
Olivia gasped. Ruth closed her eyes. The three of them sat in silence for what felt like an eternity. Finally Miss Darby spoke, her voice thick, but stable.
“I think we better go see Doctor Brighton.”
Ruth opened her eyes. Hot tears flowed down her cheeks. “Does Luke have to know?”
Miss Darby reached for Ruth‘s hand. “We’ll cross that bridge when we have to.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
The small, sterile waiting area in Dr. Brighton’s office sent a chill down Ruth’s spine. She stared at a painting of children playing on the shore. If only she could go back to her childhood when things were simple. Innocent. If only she could go back just two months ago! Miss Darby picked up an issue of the Saturday Evening Post from the small table in front of them.
Ruth’s stomach grumbled, her palms were sweaty. Sharp shooting pains and the bloated feeling she’d had for over a month made finding a comfortable position impossible.
Oh, please, Lord, don’t let anyone else come in while I’m here!
She wished Olivia or Miss Darby would say something. The tiny room was too quiet. She focused on the ticking of a grandfather clock near the door. This had to be the longest day of her whole life, and it was only midafternoon.
What if she was—oh, she couldn’t even form the thought! It couldn’t happen!
“Ruth, Dr. Brighton will see you now.”
Ruth jolted. She stared at the woman wearing a white uniform, white stockings, white shoes and white hat.
The color of purity.
“It’s all right.” Miss Darby gently nudged Ruth’s elbow. “Go on.”
The strength in Miss Darby’s eyes generated just enough courage in Ruth to stand. She walked with trembling knees behind the nurse.
An examination table sat in the middle of the room, cold and ominous. On one wall a glass cupboard held dozens of bottles of medications of all kinds, and on the opposite wall, a sink and canisters of tongue depressors and cotton balls lined a counter. Everything so sterile and unfamiliar. Ruth caught a glimpse of her reflection the glass cabinet and quickly looked away.
“Step on the scale, please.” The nurse’s leathery face held no expression.
Ruth stepped carefully onto the scale. Then she stood against the wall as directed so the nurse could measure her height.
The woman jotted something down on a piece of paper attached to a clipboard. “How old are you?”
“Sixteen. I’ll be seventeen in two months.”
“And when exactly was your last cycle?”
Ruth’s chin trembled. The unemotional nurse looked up from her clipboard and tapped her right foot.
Swallowing against the lump in her throat, Ruth answered. “Two months.”
“You’ll need to speak up. I can’t hear you.”
Ruth looked behind the woman to the door. She wanted to run out of this room and keep running.
The woman huffed and cocked one hip. “Young lady, Dr. Brighton is very busy. I need this information so he can proceed with his examination. Now please tell me. When was your last cycle?”
“Two months.”
“Two months ago?”
Ruth hugged her arms around herself, fending off the sense of exposure beneath the nurses scrutinizing gaze. “Yes ma’am.”
The nurse wrote something down and set the clipboard on the counter. She opened a drawer, retrieved a gown and handed it to Ruth.
“Put this on, and sit there on the exam table. Dr. Brighton will be in soon.”
Ruth held the gown in her trembling hands. “You mean, take off my clothes?”
The woman tossed a glance at Ruth as she walked out the door. “Yes.” Her judgmental eyes once again scanned Ruth before she closed the door behind her.
Ruth stood in the exam room alone, her legs weak, nearly giving way. She leaned against the exam table, feeling lightheaded. Was that how everyone would look at her? Would everyone see her as loose girl? A floozy? Tears blurred her vision. This couldn’t be happening.
Please, God. Please help me. Please don’t let me be pregnant!
She held her hand to her stomach. The thought of what may be growing in her belly at that moment caused her to pull her hand away as if she’d touched a hot stove. A knock at the door sent her heart racing.
“Ruth? Are you all right?”
At the sound of Miss Darby’s voice, she rushed to the door and opened it. Miss Darby stepped inside and closed the door. She looked at the gown Ruth clutched in her hands.
Miss Darby offered an understanding smile. “Honey, you need to put that on.”
“Why?” Ruth’s cry sounded like that of a five-year-old even in her own ears.
Miss Darby drew her into a hug and held her for a long moment. She set her hands on Ruth’s shoulders.
“You need to put on that gown so that Dr. Brighton can examine you. Do you understand what that means?”
Ruth shook her head.
“Oh.” Miss Darby drew in a breath as if to steady herself, “All right.”
She explained to Ruth what the examination would entail. It sounded awful and humiliating.
“I—I can’t do this.” Ruth backed away from Miss Darby. “I don’t want to do this. Please don’t make me do this!”
“You have to.” Miss Darby spoke calmly and evenly. “And the sooner you get this done, the sooner we can move forward.” She pointed to the gown. “Now, Ruth Morgan, you put that gown on.”
Ruth blinked at the change in Miss Darby’s tone. But she began to disrobe, and put the gown on. Miss Darby helped her to cover herself as much as possible, then helped her up onto the exam table.
“It will be over before you know it,” Miss Darby said. “I’ll be in the waiting room with Olivia. We’ll be right there when you come out.” She started for the door.
“Miss Darby.” Ruth held her hand out to her teacher. “Can’t you stay? Please?”
A knock sounded at the door. Ruth nearly jumped down off the table. Miss Darby motioned for her to stay where she was, and answered for Ruth, “Come in.”
Dr. Brighton walked into the room. A tall man with a bald head and strong brow, he could easily be intimidating, expect for his perpetual smile and bright green eyes.
“Hello, Ruth.” He held his hand to her. “How are you feeling?”
She accepted his hand. “Nervous.”
Dr. Brighton nodded and picked up the chart the nurse left on the counter. Ruth watched a frown wrinkl his forehead. He looked back at her.
“Have you been intimate with a man in the past two months?”
Shame hung on her like a heavy cloak, causing her shoulders to slump forward beneath its weight. She ducked her head. “Yes, sir.”
“And was this a decision you made on your own? Were you coerced or forced in any way?”
“No!” Ruth blurted, horrified at what he inferred. “Gra—he—would never—ever— force me.”
Dr. Brighton gave a single nod. “All right then. I have to ask because of your age. I’m need to examine you now—” He turned toward Miss Darby.
Miss Darby said, “Ruth asked if I would stay with her. I understand if it’s not possible but she’s so young and very nervous—”
Dr. Brighton set his hand on her shoulder. “It’s highly unusual, but considering Ruth’s age and the fact she doesn’t have a mother, I’ll allow it. You stand beside her. Hold her hand.”
Ruth laid down on the table as the doctor instructed. She squeezed her eyes shut and held tight to Miss Darby’s hand while Dr. Brighton began his examination. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she turned her head to one side and tried to block out what the doctor was doing. She forced down the nausea to rising in her throat.
Images of the night she spent with Grady flashed through her mind. She squeezed her eyes tighter. What had she been thinking? How could she have done it? The moments of pleasure she experienced that night were not worth what she faced now. They weren’t worth how people would look at her, the things they would say about her. She was broken. Used. Dirty.
Dr. Brighton rolled his exam stool away and stood. “You can sit up now. Go ahead and get dressed. I’ll have Nurse Coreck bring you to my office.”
He gently patted her knee before he left the room. The gesture was strangely comforting.
Ruth wanted to ask what he’d found. She imagined him telling her there was nothing wrong. There was no baby. Fear of hearing different prevented her from giving voice to the question. Miss Darby helped her back into her blue dress and brown loafers. As promised, Nurse Coreck returned and ushered them to the doctor’s private office.
Dr. Brighton sat behind an oak desk in an even smaller room, its walls lined with books. It smelled of antiseptic and old wood. Two chairs sat across from his desk. He motioned for Miss Darby and Ruth to sit.
He laced his fingers together and rested his hands on the desk.
“Miss Morgan, I think you already know what I’m going to tell you.” He glanced at Miss Darby. “And I’m pretty certain your teacher does as well, or she wouldn’t have brought you to me.”
Ruth stared at her hands in her lap. Her insides wobbled. Her mind raced.
“Miss Morgan, you are going to have a baby.”
Ruth closed her eyes. She saw her mother, so happy and proud of her little girl. Mom had taught her the ways a young lady behaves properly, and warned her of all the ways a young lady could soil her reputation. Her mother was so beautiful and kind and … pure.
Miss Darby’s voice sounded far off. “Are you absolutely certain?”
His voice held a gentle apology. “Yes. I am certain.”
What would her mother think of her? What would Olivia think? And Miss Darby? And Luke? And Grady. Oh, Grady, we’ve made an awful mistake!
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Emma carried Nella’s silver tray into the living room for her, setting it on the coffee table. She had never been in Nella’s home, and found the furnishings and artwork surprising. The woman always seemed like one more person trying to make their way through The Depression. Many things made sense now. One would have to have money to buy a new pair of shoes for a child in need, or a sack of groceries for a family expecting their fourth child, or any of the other philanthropic things she had heard of Nella doing around town.
Nella picked up the tea pot and poured a cup, handing it to Ruth. “Drink this, sweetheart. It will help settle your stomach.”
Ruth accepted the cup and stared at it. Emma studied Olivia who sat next to Ruth but hadn’t spoken a word past a gasp when she learned of Ruth’s condition. She hoped this situation wouldn’t have a negative impact on such a sweet friendship. Olivia struggled with her mother being away at her grandmother’s house, and depended a great deal on Ruth’s friendship. Now, Ruth’s attention and energy would be needed elsewhere.
Emma sat down across from the girls. She knew before leaving the doctor’s office she was in over her head. She had no idea what to say to Ruth or how to help her, so she brought the girls here to Nella’s. Nella called Barbara Hudgins to come over as well. Never before had Emma been so grateful for the wisdom and life experience of these two older women.
Nella sipped her tea. “Isn’t it true, Barbara, that there are no mistakes when it comes to babies?”
“Yes, that is absolutely true. The Bible says God knows us before we are born, before our conception even. That He forms us in our mother’s womb.” Barbara rested her hand on Ruth’s knee.
Ruth set her cup on the coffee table in front of her. “I’m sorry, but I don’t think God planned this.”
Barbara brushed a strand of auburn hair away from Ruth’s pale face. “God does make it clear that we are not to be intimate until we are married. And bringing children into this world is one of the reasons why.”
Ruth turned to Barbara. “But if God knows everything, then He knew Grady and I would—that we would make a mistake—and He knew this would happen. If He knew we weren’t ready for this, why didn’t He stop it?”
“Because that would be like stepping out in front of a moving automobile, and expecting God to keep it from hitting you. There are consequences to our actions. Out of His love, He gives us free will. And in His mercy He allows us to experience the consequences of our actions. And in His grace, He forgives and makes a way for us when we make the wrong choices.”
Ruth’s eyes turned hopeful. “You mean He’ll make it all work out? He’ll fix everything? How?”
Nella stood and bent over the coffee table to pour herself another cup of tea. “Well now, that depends on what you mean by ‘fix everything,’ child. He’ll fix it all right, but it will be in His way.” Nella sat her plump figure back in her wing back chair. “But His way is the best, you can count on that.” She raised her cup for emphasis.
Ruth sighed and sat back in the sofa. She looked so young and frightened.
“What I want is for this to never have happened.” Her tender brow lifted and her green eyes alighted with fear. “How am I going to tell Grady? What if he doesn’t want this? What if he doesn’t want me now? And Luke? He’ll hate me! Things just started getting better between us, and now this!”
Emma‘s chest ached so that she lifted her hand to her heart. If she could take all of this off of Ruth’s shoulders and take it on herself she would. “One thing at a time, Ruth. If you try to answer all these questions at once, you’ll only make yourself sick.”
“Yeah.” Olivia spoke for the first time since they left the Dr. office. “You don’t need to worry about all that right this minute.”
Ruth swiped tears from her eyes and looked at Emma. “Could you tell Luke for me?”
Stunned, Emma opened her mouth to speak and couldn’t find her voice. She looked at the other women for help but found no answers in their wide eyes.
She held tightly to the delicate china cup in her hands. “I—I don’t know. I’m not sure that’s my place.”
“Oh please! Please, Miss Darby.” Ruth pleaded. “I can’t face him!”
Emma swallowed hard. She wanted to help, she really did. Ruth was under so much pressure. She had so much to adjust to, so many challenges and obstacles to face. Her life had just changed forever at only sixteen years old.
Emma couldn’t bring herself to let Ruth down, and not knowing what Luke’s reaction would be, Emma had to admit, she’d rather any negative outbursts be directed at her and not Ruth.
“I’ll speak to him.”
Lord, Help me.
****
Emma’s hands trembled as she poured lemonade into a mason jar, added a couple of ice chunks and screwed the lid on. She placed it in a basket along with some fried chicken, potato salad and a piece of Nella‘s chocolate cake.
Nothing softens bad news like food, right?
She said a prayer for wisdom—and courage—and stepped outside to begin her walk to Luke’s home.
Emma reached Luke’s ranch and spotted him in the distance riding a chestnut colored horse back toward the house. Her breath caught in her lungs at the sight of him atop the beautiful animal.
The memory of their first kiss flashed through her mind. Never in her wildest dreams did she think she would fall for such an unpredictable man. Then again, he really wasn’t all that unpredictable, was he? Difficult to read, yes. Frustratingly silent, yes. But at the same time, solid. Honest. Led by integrity.
Trepidation vibrated through her veins though. She’d seen the pain and anger he still carried from the memory of what happened to Sadie and their baby. What would he do with this news?
Emma lifted her hand to shield her eyes from the bright sun. For the briefest of moments, his smile chased away her anxiety. She knew that charming, crooked smile was rare. The fact it showed itself for her made her wish she could forget the reason for this visit.
Luke jumped down from the horse and eyed the basket. “You read minds in your spare time?”
It wasn’t fair for the man to be so handsome at a time like this.
Luke’s smile faded into a frown. “Something wrong?”
“Well—um—there’s something I need to talk to you about.”
He tilted his head, his hat casting a shadow over his eyes. “Okay. I need to put Lexi here in her stall.” He motioned to the barn.
Olivia’s brow pinched. “You’re starting to look pale again. Are you feeling sick?”
“I’m fine.”
“Girls,” Miss Darby interrupted. Her brow arched. Her lips formed a firm line.
Ruth and Olivia both apologized and sank a little lower in their seats. Miss Darby went on to discuss the World War, instructing the students that there were would be a test on the subject on Friday.
By the end of the day, exhaustion had claimed Ruth through and through. The heat sapped whatever energy she had in reserves, to the point that she didn’t even want to get out of her seat. The classroom emptied and Olivia leaned in to her.
“Should you see the doctor? Should I go get Luke?”
Ruth didn’t answer. The sense of dread that had been slowly creeping in over the past two months rendered her speechless. She couldn’t say out loud what she was thinking. She heard Miss Darby’s heels clicking on the classroom linoleum. She sat in the desk directly in front of Ruth, and turned in the seat to face her.
“Ruth?”
Miss Darby’s blue eyes studied her. “I’m very concerned about you. I’ve been watching you these last couple of months, and you don’t seem to be getting better.”
“It’s still really hot.” Ruth shrugged. “Dr. Brighton says I’m over sensitive to the heat.”
Olivia chimed in, “I heard the heat is breaking all kinds of records all around the country.”
Miss Darby nodded. “Mmm hmm.” Her brow furrowed and she turned her attention back to Ruth. “I need to ask you a very personal question.”
Ruth fidgeted with a loose thread on her dress. “Okay.”
“When was the last time you—” Miss Darby glanced at Olivia, then back at Ruth. “You had your cycle?”
Ruth held Miss Darby’s gaze. The words stuck in her throat. The harder she tried to speak, the tighter her throat clenched. She whispered. “Two months.”
Olivia gasped. Ruth closed her eyes. The three of them sat in silence for what felt like an eternity. Finally Miss Darby spoke, her voice thick, but stable.
“I think we better go see Doctor Brighton.”
Ruth opened her eyes. Hot tears flowed down her cheeks. “Does Luke have to know?”
Miss Darby reached for Ruth‘s hand. “We’ll cross that bridge when we have to.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
The small, sterile waiting area in Dr. Brighton’s office sent a chill down Ruth’s spine. She stared at a painting of children playing on the shore. If only she could go back to her childhood when things were simple. Innocent. If only she could go back just two months ago! Miss Darby picked up an issue of the Saturday Evening Post from the small table in front of them.
Ruth’s stomach grumbled, her palms were sweaty. Sharp shooting pains and the bloated feeling she’d had for over a month made finding a comfortable position impossible.
Oh, please, Lord, don’t let anyone else come in while I’m here!
She wished Olivia or Miss Darby would say something. The tiny room was too quiet. She focused on the ticking of a grandfather clock near the door. This had to be the longest day of her whole life, and it was only midafternoon.
What if she was—oh, she couldn’t even form the thought! It couldn’t happen!
“Ruth, Dr. Brighton will see you now.”
Ruth jolted. She stared at the woman wearing a white uniform, white stockings, white shoes and white hat.
The color of purity.
“It’s all right.” Miss Darby gently nudged Ruth’s elbow. “Go on.”
The strength in Miss Darby’s eyes generated just enough courage in Ruth to stand. She walked with trembling knees behind the nurse.
An examination table sat in the middle of the room, cold and ominous. On one wall a glass cupboard held dozens of bottles of medications of all kinds, and on the opposite wall, a sink and canisters of tongue depressors and cotton balls lined a counter. Everything so sterile and unfamiliar. Ruth caught a glimpse of her reflection the glass cabinet and quickly looked away.
“Step on the scale, please.” The nurse’s leathery face held no expression.
Ruth stepped carefully onto the scale. Then she stood against the wall as directed so the nurse could measure her height.
The woman jotted something down on a piece of paper attached to a clipboard. “How old are you?”
“Sixteen. I’ll be seventeen in two months.”
“And when exactly was your last cycle?”
Ruth’s chin trembled. The unemotional nurse looked up from her clipboard and tapped her right foot.
Swallowing against the lump in her throat, Ruth answered. “Two months.”
“You’ll need to speak up. I can’t hear you.”
Ruth looked behind the woman to the door. She wanted to run out of this room and keep running.
The woman huffed and cocked one hip. “Young lady, Dr. Brighton is very busy. I need this information so he can proceed with his examination. Now please tell me. When was your last cycle?”
“Two months.”
“Two months ago?”
Ruth hugged her arms around herself, fending off the sense of exposure beneath the nurses scrutinizing gaze. “Yes ma’am.”
The nurse wrote something down and set the clipboard on the counter. She opened a drawer, retrieved a gown and handed it to Ruth.
“Put this on, and sit there on the exam table. Dr. Brighton will be in soon.”
Ruth held the gown in her trembling hands. “You mean, take off my clothes?”
The woman tossed a glance at Ruth as she walked out the door. “Yes.” Her judgmental eyes once again scanned Ruth before she closed the door behind her.
Ruth stood in the exam room alone, her legs weak, nearly giving way. She leaned against the exam table, feeling lightheaded. Was that how everyone would look at her? Would everyone see her as loose girl? A floozy? Tears blurred her vision. This couldn’t be happening.
Please, God. Please help me. Please don’t let me be pregnant!
She held her hand to her stomach. The thought of what may be growing in her belly at that moment caused her to pull her hand away as if she’d touched a hot stove. A knock at the door sent her heart racing.
“Ruth? Are you all right?”
At the sound of Miss Darby’s voice, she rushed to the door and opened it. Miss Darby stepped inside and closed the door. She looked at the gown Ruth clutched in her hands.
Miss Darby offered an understanding smile. “Honey, you need to put that on.”
“Why?” Ruth’s cry sounded like that of a five-year-old even in her own ears.
Miss Darby drew her into a hug and held her for a long moment. She set her hands on Ruth’s shoulders.
“You need to put on that gown so that Dr. Brighton can examine you. Do you understand what that means?”
Ruth shook her head.
“Oh.” Miss Darby drew in a breath as if to steady herself, “All right.”
She explained to Ruth what the examination would entail. It sounded awful and humiliating.
“I—I can’t do this.” Ruth backed away from Miss Darby. “I don’t want to do this. Please don’t make me do this!”
“You have to.” Miss Darby spoke calmly and evenly. “And the sooner you get this done, the sooner we can move forward.” She pointed to the gown. “Now, Ruth Morgan, you put that gown on.”
Ruth blinked at the change in Miss Darby’s tone. But she began to disrobe, and put the gown on. Miss Darby helped her to cover herself as much as possible, then helped her up onto the exam table.
“It will be over before you know it,” Miss Darby said. “I’ll be in the waiting room with Olivia. We’ll be right there when you come out.” She started for the door.
“Miss Darby.” Ruth held her hand out to her teacher. “Can’t you stay? Please?”
A knock sounded at the door. Ruth nearly jumped down off the table. Miss Darby motioned for her to stay where she was, and answered for Ruth, “Come in.”
Dr. Brighton walked into the room. A tall man with a bald head and strong brow, he could easily be intimidating, expect for his perpetual smile and bright green eyes.
“Hello, Ruth.” He held his hand to her. “How are you feeling?”
She accepted his hand. “Nervous.”
Dr. Brighton nodded and picked up the chart the nurse left on the counter. Ruth watched a frown wrinkl his forehead. He looked back at her.
“Have you been intimate with a man in the past two months?”
Shame hung on her like a heavy cloak, causing her shoulders to slump forward beneath its weight. She ducked her head. “Yes, sir.”
“And was this a decision you made on your own? Were you coerced or forced in any way?”
“No!” Ruth blurted, horrified at what he inferred. “Gra—he—would never—ever— force me.”
Dr. Brighton gave a single nod. “All right then. I have to ask because of your age. I’m need to examine you now—” He turned toward Miss Darby.
Miss Darby said, “Ruth asked if I would stay with her. I understand if it’s not possible but she’s so young and very nervous—”
Dr. Brighton set his hand on her shoulder. “It’s highly unusual, but considering Ruth’s age and the fact she doesn’t have a mother, I’ll allow it. You stand beside her. Hold her hand.”
Ruth laid down on the table as the doctor instructed. She squeezed her eyes shut and held tight to Miss Darby’s hand while Dr. Brighton began his examination. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she turned her head to one side and tried to block out what the doctor was doing. She forced down the nausea to rising in her throat.
Images of the night she spent with Grady flashed through her mind. She squeezed her eyes tighter. What had she been thinking? How could she have done it? The moments of pleasure she experienced that night were not worth what she faced now. They weren’t worth how people would look at her, the things they would say about her. She was broken. Used. Dirty.
Dr. Brighton rolled his exam stool away and stood. “You can sit up now. Go ahead and get dressed. I’ll have Nurse Coreck bring you to my office.”
He gently patted her knee before he left the room. The gesture was strangely comforting.
Ruth wanted to ask what he’d found. She imagined him telling her there was nothing wrong. There was no baby. Fear of hearing different prevented her from giving voice to the question. Miss Darby helped her back into her blue dress and brown loafers. As promised, Nurse Coreck returned and ushered them to the doctor’s private office.
Dr. Brighton sat behind an oak desk in an even smaller room, its walls lined with books. It smelled of antiseptic and old wood. Two chairs sat across from his desk. He motioned for Miss Darby and Ruth to sit.
He laced his fingers together and rested his hands on the desk.
“Miss Morgan, I think you already know what I’m going to tell you.” He glanced at Miss Darby. “And I’m pretty certain your teacher does as well, or she wouldn’t have brought you to me.”
Ruth stared at her hands in her lap. Her insides wobbled. Her mind raced.
“Miss Morgan, you are going to have a baby.”
Ruth closed her eyes. She saw her mother, so happy and proud of her little girl. Mom had taught her the ways a young lady behaves properly, and warned her of all the ways a young lady could soil her reputation. Her mother was so beautiful and kind and … pure.
Miss Darby’s voice sounded far off. “Are you absolutely certain?”
His voice held a gentle apology. “Yes. I am certain.”
What would her mother think of her? What would Olivia think? And Miss Darby? And Luke? And Grady. Oh, Grady, we’ve made an awful mistake!
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Emma carried Nella’s silver tray into the living room for her, setting it on the coffee table. She had never been in Nella’s home, and found the furnishings and artwork surprising. The woman always seemed like one more person trying to make their way through The Depression. Many things made sense now. One would have to have money to buy a new pair of shoes for a child in need, or a sack of groceries for a family expecting their fourth child, or any of the other philanthropic things she had heard of Nella doing around town.
Nella picked up the tea pot and poured a cup, handing it to Ruth. “Drink this, sweetheart. It will help settle your stomach.”
Ruth accepted the cup and stared at it. Emma studied Olivia who sat next to Ruth but hadn’t spoken a word past a gasp when she learned of Ruth’s condition. She hoped this situation wouldn’t have a negative impact on such a sweet friendship. Olivia struggled with her mother being away at her grandmother’s house, and depended a great deal on Ruth’s friendship. Now, Ruth’s attention and energy would be needed elsewhere.
Emma sat down across from the girls. She knew before leaving the doctor’s office she was in over her head. She had no idea what to say to Ruth or how to help her, so she brought the girls here to Nella’s. Nella called Barbara Hudgins to come over as well. Never before had Emma been so grateful for the wisdom and life experience of these two older women.
Nella sipped her tea. “Isn’t it true, Barbara, that there are no mistakes when it comes to babies?”
“Yes, that is absolutely true. The Bible says God knows us before we are born, before our conception even. That He forms us in our mother’s womb.” Barbara rested her hand on Ruth’s knee.
Ruth set her cup on the coffee table in front of her. “I’m sorry, but I don’t think God planned this.”
Barbara brushed a strand of auburn hair away from Ruth’s pale face. “God does make it clear that we are not to be intimate until we are married. And bringing children into this world is one of the reasons why.”
Ruth turned to Barbara. “But if God knows everything, then He knew Grady and I would—that we would make a mistake—and He knew this would happen. If He knew we weren’t ready for this, why didn’t He stop it?”
“Because that would be like stepping out in front of a moving automobile, and expecting God to keep it from hitting you. There are consequences to our actions. Out of His love, He gives us free will. And in His mercy He allows us to experience the consequences of our actions. And in His grace, He forgives and makes a way for us when we make the wrong choices.”
Ruth’s eyes turned hopeful. “You mean He’ll make it all work out? He’ll fix everything? How?”
Nella stood and bent over the coffee table to pour herself another cup of tea. “Well now, that depends on what you mean by ‘fix everything,’ child. He’ll fix it all right, but it will be in His way.” Nella sat her plump figure back in her wing back chair. “But His way is the best, you can count on that.” She raised her cup for emphasis.
Ruth sighed and sat back in the sofa. She looked so young and frightened.
“What I want is for this to never have happened.” Her tender brow lifted and her green eyes alighted with fear. “How am I going to tell Grady? What if he doesn’t want this? What if he doesn’t want me now? And Luke? He’ll hate me! Things just started getting better between us, and now this!”
Emma‘s chest ached so that she lifted her hand to her heart. If she could take all of this off of Ruth’s shoulders and take it on herself she would. “One thing at a time, Ruth. If you try to answer all these questions at once, you’ll only make yourself sick.”
“Yeah.” Olivia spoke for the first time since they left the Dr. office. “You don’t need to worry about all that right this minute.”
Ruth swiped tears from her eyes and looked at Emma. “Could you tell Luke for me?”
Stunned, Emma opened her mouth to speak and couldn’t find her voice. She looked at the other women for help but found no answers in their wide eyes.
She held tightly to the delicate china cup in her hands. “I—I don’t know. I’m not sure that’s my place.”
“Oh please! Please, Miss Darby.” Ruth pleaded. “I can’t face him!”
Emma swallowed hard. She wanted to help, she really did. Ruth was under so much pressure. She had so much to adjust to, so many challenges and obstacles to face. Her life had just changed forever at only sixteen years old.
Emma couldn’t bring herself to let Ruth down, and not knowing what Luke’s reaction would be, Emma had to admit, she’d rather any negative outbursts be directed at her and not Ruth.
“I’ll speak to him.”
Lord, Help me.
****
Emma’s hands trembled as she poured lemonade into a mason jar, added a couple of ice chunks and screwed the lid on. She placed it in a basket along with some fried chicken, potato salad and a piece of Nella‘s chocolate cake.
Nothing softens bad news like food, right?
She said a prayer for wisdom—and courage—and stepped outside to begin her walk to Luke’s home.
Emma reached Luke’s ranch and spotted him in the distance riding a chestnut colored horse back toward the house. Her breath caught in her lungs at the sight of him atop the beautiful animal.
The memory of their first kiss flashed through her mind. Never in her wildest dreams did she think she would fall for such an unpredictable man. Then again, he really wasn’t all that unpredictable, was he? Difficult to read, yes. Frustratingly silent, yes. But at the same time, solid. Honest. Led by integrity.
Trepidation vibrated through her veins though. She’d seen the pain and anger he still carried from the memory of what happened to Sadie and their baby. What would he do with this news?
Emma lifted her hand to shield her eyes from the bright sun. For the briefest of moments, his smile chased away her anxiety. She knew that charming, crooked smile was rare. The fact it showed itself for her made her wish she could forget the reason for this visit.
Luke jumped down from the horse and eyed the basket. “You read minds in your spare time?”
It wasn’t fair for the man to be so handsome at a time like this.
Luke’s smile faded into a frown. “Something wrong?”
“Well—um—there’s something I need to talk to you about.”
He tilted his head, his hat casting a shadow over his eyes. “Okay. I need to put Lexi here in her stall.” He motioned to the barn.
