Mirror Image, page 5
But she was certainly not contrite or grateful that they had come to get her.
"Perhaps we should send you back then, " Charles said, and Victoria glared at him as she got out of the cab, and let herself into the house ahead of her sister. She had her back to both of them as she took her hat off and threw it on the table.
"Thank you, " Olivia said in embarrassment to Charles, furious at her sister. "I wouldn't have known what to do without you."
"Anytime, " he smiled, and Olivia rolled her eyes at the thought.
"I hope not."
"Try and keep her on a leash until your father arrives, " Charles said in a whisper. She was clearly an unrepentant rebel, and there was a certain charm to that, if one viewed it from a safe distance.
"Thank God Father will be here by tomorrow night, " Olivia said, and then looked at Charles with worried eyes. She had trusted him and hoped he wouldn't betray her. "Please don't say anything to him, it would upset him terribly."
"I promise. Not a word." But now that it was over, what he had just done amused him. "One day you'll laugh about this, I promise, when you're both grandmothers, and remember how she almost got arrested."
Olivia smiled at what he was saying, and Victoria muttered a curt thank-you at him, and then swept upstairs to change for dinner.
They were only having dinner with Mrs. Peabody that night, but Olivia asked Charles if he would like to join them. It seemed the least she could do after the last two hours he'd spent, rescuing Victoria, in spite of herself, from the Fifth Precinct.
"I can't, but thank you very much." He looked embarrassed at the invitation. "I try to dine with my son every night, or as much as possible at least."
"How old is he? " Olivia asked with interest.
"He's nine." That made him eight when his mother died .. .
when he had seen her for the last time, before he left her on the Titanic.
The thought of it almost made her shudder.
"I hope we meet him sometime, " she said genuinely, and Charles looked hesitant and thankful.
"He's a good boy." And then, he surprised her with his honesty.
But there was something about Olivia that made her easy to talk to, unlike her sister, who made him want to spank her. "We've both had a hard time without his mother, " he said quietly.
"I can imagine." And then, "I never knew mine, " she said softly.
"But Victoria and I had each other." Her eyes seemed huge as they looked into his, and something about her made his heart ache.
"It must be extraordinary, " he said thoughtfully. "I can't imagine having anyone that you're that close to. Except maybe a husband or a wife, but even then. You two almost seem like two halves of the same person."
"Sometimes I think we are, " and then she looked toward the second floor, glowering expressively, "and at other times, I think we're strangers. We're very different in some ways, and completely alike in others." In looks certainly, despite their very different personalities, he still could not actually see a difference between them.
"Does it bother you that people confuse you all the time? I suppose that could be very annoying." He was fascinated by them, and he liked being able to ask Olivia these questions.
"You get used to it. We used to think it was funny. Now, it's just the way things are." It was so easy talking to him, and he seemed comfortable speaking to Olivia as well. She was the sort of woman he could be friends with. And yet it was Victoria he was mesmerized by, and tongue-tied with. He couldn't tell them apart, and yet some deep, inner part of him sensed when he was in Victoria's presence, and something about her turned him topsy-turvy. But Olivia with her gentle ways made him feel comfortable, and at ease, like a dear friend or an affectionate younger sister.
He left a few minutes after that, and she closed the door quietly behind him, and walked slowly upstairs to talk to her sister.
Victoria was sitting in her room, staring unhappily out the window, thinking of the afternoon, and how foolish she had felt when the sergeant had separated her from the others.
"How am I going to show my face to them again? " she asked unhappily as Olivia watched her.
"You shouldn't have been with them in the first place." Olivia sighed, and sat down on the bed, facing her sister. "You can't keep doing things like this, Victoria. You can't go off chasing some wild idea, without thinking of the consequences. People can get hurt by it, you can get hurt by it. I don't want that to happen." Victoria looked slowly at her, and the light that Charles saw in her eyes burned very brightly. "What if more people are helped than hurt?
What if one had to die for an idea, a cause, in order to make the right things happen? You know, I know it must sound crazy to you, but sometimes I think I'd be willing to do that." The worst of it was that Olivia knew in her heart of hearts that Victoria was being truthful.
She had that kind of fire in her, that bright, burning thing at her core that would allow her to die for an ideal, or follow what she believed in all the way to the horizon.
"You frighten me when you say things like that, " Olivia said quietly, and Victoria reached out and took her hand and held it.
"I don't mean to. I think that's just who I am. I'm not you, Ollie.
Even though we look so much alike, how could we be so different "Different and the same, " Olivia said, puzzling over the mystery that had followed them since they were born, so much the same in so many ways, so totally different in others.
"I'm sorry about this afternoon. I didn't mean to scare you." Contrite at last, not because of what she'd done, but because she had upset her sister. Victoria loved Olivia too much to hurt her.
"I knew something was wrong. I felt it here." She touched her stomach, and Victoria nodded. They were both familiar with that sensation.
"What time? " Victoria asked with interest. The telepathy between them had always intrigued her.
"Two o'clock, " Olivia said, and Victoria nodded. They were both used to the phenomenon which always seemed to tell each of them when the other was in trouble.
"Just about right. I think that's when they picked us up, and tossed us in the wagon."
"That must have been charming, " Olivia said, looking disapproving again, but Victoria laughed, looking highly amused about it.
"Actually, I thought it was pretty funny. They were so determined to get everyone in, and no one wanted to be left out. They all wanted to be arrested." Victoria laughed more, and Olivia groaned, remembering the phone call from Sergeant O"Shaunessy at the Fifth Precinct.
"I'm glad they didn't arrest you, " Olivia said firmly.
"Why did you call him? " Victoria asked her then, combing her eyes with her own, looking for unspoken answers. There were a myriad of things that always went unsaid, but were clearly understood, between them.
"I didn't know who else to call. And I didn't want to take Donovan or Petrie. I was afraid to come alone, and they told me not to when they called me."
"You could have though. You didn't need him. He's so insignificant."
Victoria brushed Charles Dawson aside with a wave of her hand. To her, he was entirely unimportant. She didn't see any of the merit in him that Olivia did. Nor any of the interest.
"He's not insignificant, " Olivia defended him. He was subdued, one could see easily that his fire had been dimmed, but he had been dealt a cruel blow by one of life's swift hands, and Olivia felt desperately sorry for him. It didn't make her pity him, but she liked him. She could see the merit in the man, the man he might have been before, and could be again, with a little kindness, and perhaps even the right woman. "He's wounded, " Olivia explained.
"Spare me." Victoria grinned, easily unkind, and quick to dispense with the impaired or injured.
"That's not fair. He came here in ten minutes today in order to help you."
"Our father is probably one of his biggest clients."
"That's a disgusting thing to say. He could have told me he was busy."
"Perhaps he likes you, " Victoria said mischievously, but without much interest.
"Or you, " Olivia said fairly.
"Maybe he still can't tell the difference, " Victoria said truthfully.
"That doesn't make him a bad person. Father can't always tell the difference between us either. Bertie is the only one who ever could."
"Maybe she's the only one who ever cared enough to, " Victoria said cruelly.
"Why are you so unkind sometimes? " Olivia said unhappily. She hated it when her sister said things like that. Sometimes she could be so unfeeling.
"Maybe that's just the way I am." Victoria looked matter-of fact, but not remorseful. "I'm hard on myself too. I expect a lot of everyone, Ollie. I expect to do more with my life than just sit here, and go to parties and balls and the theater." She sounded suddenly very grown-up and Olivia was surprised by what she was saying.
"I thought you wanted to come to New York. You're the one who always complains about being stuck in boring old Croton-on hudson."
"I know I do, and I love being here, but it's not just the social life I want. I want something important to happen in my life too. I want to make a difference in the world. I want to stand for some thing more than just being Edward Henderson's daughter." She looked so intense and alive as she said it.
"It sounds so noble when you talk about it that way." Olivia smiled at her twin. Victoria had such grandiose ideas sometimes, and yet Olivia knew she really meant them. But still, she was a child in a way, and sometimes a very spoiled one. She wanted everything, people and fun and parties and New York, and there was a serious side to her too, that wanted to fight all the battles, right all the injustices, and make a difference in the world. She didn't know exactly what she wanted yet, but Olivia sensed sometimes that Victoria would do a lot more with her life than just live in Croton.
"What about being someone's wife? " Olivia asked her quietly, it was something she thought about once in a while, although she couldn't really imagine ever leaving her father. He needed her too badly.
"That's not what I want, " Victoria said firmly. "I don't want to belong to anyone, like a table or a chair, or a motorcar. This is my wife, it's like saying this is my hat, or my overcoat, or my dog. I don't want to belong' to anyone, like an object."
"You've been spending too much time with those ridiculous suffragettes, " Olivia growled at her. She disagreed with almost everything they said, except maybe about voting. But all their ideas about freedom and independence seemed to be at the expense of values that Olivia cherished more, like family and children, and being respectful of one's father or husband.
She didn't believe in the kind of anarchy they were preaching, although Victoria said she did, but Olivia sometimes wondered. Victoria liked smoking and stealing her father's car, and going places by herself, and even risking arrest to stand up for something she believed in, but she loved their father as dearly as anyone, and Olivia had the feeling that if the right man came along, Victoria would fall for him as hard as any other woman would, possibly harder. She was filled with fire, and beliefs that she was almost willing to die for, and a kind of unbridled passion. How could she say she never wanted to "belong" to anyone, or be a man's wife? It just wasn't like her.
"I'm serious, " Victoria said quietly. "I made up my mind a long time ago. I don't want to get married." She looked incredibly beautiful as she said it, and Olivia smiled, thinking that she didn't believe her.
"When was a long time ago'? At the suffragettes' meeting you went to today, or the one last week? I don't think you know what you're saying."
"Yes, I do. I'm never going to get married." She said it calmly and firmly, with total conviction. "Actually, I don't think marriage would suit me."
"How can you possibly know that? Are you telling me that you're going to stay at home with Father and take care of him? " The idea of it was sounding more ridiculous by the moment.
Olivia might stay home and take care of him in his last years, but not Victoria. They both knew she didn't have it in her. Or at least Olivia knew it, she wondered if Victoria hadn't figured that out yet.
Could she really believe that she would be happy at home with him in Croton? Not likely.
"I didn't say that. But maybe I'll go to live in Europe one day, when we're older. Actually, I think I'd like living in England." The cause of women's freedom was a lot more developed there, though it was not any better received than in New York, or elsewhere in the United States. In the past few months alone, at least half a dozen major suffragettes had been arrested and sent to prison in England.
But Olivia was surprised by the things Victoria had said, particularly about never getting married, and living in Europe. It all sounded so foreign, and so strange, to Olivia, and it reminded her again of how different they were. In spite of the similar instincts they sometimes shared, and their apparent similarities, there were some enormous differences between them.
"Maybe you should marry Charles Dawson, " Victoria was teasing her by then, as they both began dressing for dinner with Bertie. "Since you think he's so sweet. Maybe you'd like being married to him, " Victoria said, as she did up the slide fastener on the back of Olivia's dress, and then turned around to have hers done in turn. It was a new invention that had just come into fashion that year, and it was incredibly easy, and a vast improvement over rows of tiny buttons that tangled one's fingers.
"Don't be stupid, " Olivia said of her sister's comment about Charles Dawson. "I've only met him twice in my life, " Olivia said quietly.
"But you like him. Don't lie to me. I can see it."
"All right, so I like him. So what? He's intelligent and pleasant to talk to, and terribly useful when my sister winds up in jail.
Maybe I will have to marry him if you make a habit of becoming a jailbird.
Either that, or go to law school myself."
"Now, that would be much better, " Victoria said firmly.
The two sisters had made their peace with each other again by the time they were dressed, and Olivia had almost forgiven her for the exotic end to the afternoon, but she had forced Victoria to swear that she would stay away from demonstrations for the rest of their stay in New York.
She didn't want to spend her time there getting Victoria out of trouble.
Victoria promised reluctantly, and lit a cigarette in their bathroom while Olivia combed her hair and complained about how unattractive it looked for a lady to smoke cigarettes, but Victoria only laughed at her and told her she sounded like Bertie.
"If she ever knew you smoked, she'd kill you! " Olivia waved her hairbrush at her twin to emphasize her point, as Victoria laughed, looking terribly racy as she sat with her long legs crossed on the edge of their huge tub, in one of the dresses Olivia had just bought them.
It was bright red and a little shorter than some of the dresses they wore, in fact it was extremely fashionable and suited them both to perfection.
"I like it by the way, " Victoria complimented her as they walked downstairs to the dining room with their arms around each other.
"I like all the dresses you pick for us. Maybe I'll just live with you for the rest of my life, and forget about Europe."
"I wouldn't mind that, " Olivia said softly, feeling sad at the thought of a time when they might not be together. She had never let herself think of marriage because she couldn't bear the thought of leaving either of them, her father, or her twin sister. It would have been like leaving part of herself behind, and she felt at times that there would have been nothing left of her without them. "I can't imagine ever leaving you, " Olivia said as she looked at the familiar face she had seen all her life, so totally identical to her own that it was like looking in the mirror. Each detail that the one had, the other had on the opposite side, so that it really was like looking in the mirror.
"I couldn't leave you, " Olivia said, looking at Victoria, who smiled and kissed her cheek gently.
"You won't ever have to, Ollie. I don't suppose I could bear to go anywhere without you. I'm all talk, " she said, sensing that she had upset Olivia with her talk of Europe. "I'll just stay home with you and get arrested whenever I need a breather."
"You dare! " Olivia wagged a finger at her again, as Bertie joined them in the dining room in a black silk suit Olivia had had copied for her from a magazine from Paris. It looked surprisingly well on her, and she wore it whenever she had dinner with the family, which she considered an honor.
"And where were you all afternoon, Victoria? " Bertie asked as they took their seats, and both girls averted their gazes as they opened their napkins.
"At the museum actually. There was a splendid exhibit of Turners from the National Gallery in London."
"Really? " Bertie said, opening her wise old eyes wide, pretending to believe her. "I'll have to be sure and see it while we're here."
"You'll love it, " Victoria said, smiling brightly, as Olivia looked up at the ceiling of the house her parents had once lived in. She wondered what it had been like when their mother was there, what she had been like, and who truly resembled her more spiritually, herself or her sister. It was a question they often pondered, but they both knew their father preferred not to discuss it. Even after all these years, it was still too painful for him.
"It'll be nice to see your father tomorrow, won't it, girls? " Bertie asked pleasantly as the meal drew to a close, and the kitchen girl served them coffee.
"Yes, it will, " Olivia said, thinking of him, and the flowers she wanted to put in his bedroom, as Victoria wondered if Olivia would really kill her if she squeezed in just one more demonstration.
She had heard about one that afternoon, on the way to jail, and she had promised to be there. But as she thought of it, Olivia glanced over at her and shook her head, as though she knew what she was thinking. They did that to each other sometimes, they never knew how it happened, but it did. It was almost as though they could hear each other's thoughts before the other said them.
