Mirror Image, page 19
"Don't be ridiculous." Olivia got seriously annoyed with her over it.
"You make us sound like circus animals in cages, for Heaven's sake."
"Hasn't it ever occurred to you that that's precisely what we are?
Animals, pets, for men to dispose of as they choose.
That's what's disgusting."
"Don't, for God's sake, let anyone hear you say things like that in public." She gave her sister a quelling look, and dropped the subject.
It was hopeless arguing with her, she knew. Victoria was rabid about women's rights and suffrage.
It was easier showing designs of wedding dresses to her, which aroused no emotion in her whatsoever. She had already told Olivia to pick whatever she liked, and she thought looked well on her. She had even suggested that Olivia shop for it alone, since she didn't really need her.
"That's bad luck, and no fun besides, and I won't do it." Olivia wanted to strangle her sometimes when she tried to talk to her about the wedding. As usual, Olivia was planning everything. She had dragged a handful of names out of Victoria for the list, and Charles had been very prompt in sending his. They had exchanged a brief, perfunctory, but polite correspondence, and there were about a hundred people he wanted to invite, if it was agreeable to them. He had no family, but a number of friends, and some acquaintances from business.
Edward had two hundred or more, and the girls another fifty. In all there were four hundred people on the list, and Olivia felt certain about three hundred would come, some were just too old, or lived too far away, or were simply invited by courtesy. And the wedding itself was going to be in Croton-onhudson. The reception at Henderson Manor.
Olivia was going to be her maid of honor of course, and Geoffrey the ring bearer, and Victoria had stubbornly refused to have bridesmaids.
"There's no one I like as well as you, " she said in a haze of cigarette smoke late one night when they discussed it for the ninetieth time.
But Victoria wouldn't budge an inch on the subject.
"I wish you'd smoke somewhere else, " Olivia growled at her. She seemed to smoke constantly these days, she was very nervous. "And besides, there were lots of nice girls we went to school with. They would love to be your bridesmaids." "Well, I wouldn't like to have them. Besides, we haven't been in a school for eight years. And I can't imagine any of our tutors as bridesmaids." They both laughed at that, they had had a series of elderly, occasionally nearly bald, horse-faced maiden ladies as their tutors.
"All right, I give up, then your dress will have to be that much nicer."
"So will yours, " Victoria said fairly, but still without much interest in the wedding. The only way she could actually tolerate the thought of it was to look beyond it, to their honeymoon, to Europe, to the things she wanted to do, and the people she wanted to see there, and then back to New York to a certain amount of independence. But the wedding itself was of no interest to her. Why don't we both wear the same wedding dress? " She mused wickedly with a grin, "and confuse everyone?
What do you think of that? "
"I think you've been drinking as well as smoking."
"Now there's an idea. Do you think Father would notice? "
"No, but Bertie would, so don't even consider it, and I'm not having you run a bar here as well as a smoking room." Olivia wagged a finger at her and then felt a stab of pain at the prospect of no longer having her there, smoking up her room, and complaining. The thought of Victoria leaving was unbearable, and it was only four months away now.
They went to New York, as planned, at the end of February, and stayed at the Plaza, so Olivia didn't have to open the house, and they didn't have to take a fleet of servants with them. Their father had suggested they take Mrs. Peabody with them, just for appearances, but Victoria had insisted they didn't need it. And she tossed her hat high in the air when they reached their hotel room. They were all alone in New York and could do anything they wanted. The first thing she did was order a drink from the restaurant, and light up a cigarette in front of her sister.
"I don't care what you do in this room, " Olivia said sternly as she looked at her, "but if you do not behave in this hotel, or elsewhere in New York, I'm taking you right home, after I call Father. I'm not going to have people thinking I'm a drunk, or I smoke all day long, because you do. So behave yourself."
"Yes, Ollie, " Victoria said with a mischievous grin, she was loving being there with her, particularly without a chaperone. She was having dinner with Charles that night. But that afternoon they were going to Bonwit Teller, to look at dresses. She not only needed a wedding gown, and a dress for Olivia for the wedding too, but she needed dresses for the honeymoon, both for the ship and for Europe.
Olivia had already copied some designs and had some things made for her, but only simple things for her to wear on the trip. -The grand gowns, and really stylish things, they were going to buy in New York.
And Olivia had already told her where to go in Paris. But the oddest thing of all for them was buying things singly now. For the first time in their lives, they weren't buying double. Olivia had no need for stylish gowns, and they wouldn't be together to wear them. The first order she had made for one dress alone had almost broken Olivia's heart, but she knew she had to do it. It was almost time for Victoria to move on now.
They had a quick lunch at the hotel, and then took a cab to Saks, but everywhere they went, in the restaurant, in the lobby, stepping out of the cab, people looked at them. They were doubly beautiful, incredibly striking, and people couldn't stop themselves from staring. They caused an immediate stir the minute they set foot in B. Altman, and an army of salesgirls and a manager rushed forward to help them. Olivia had brought drawings with her, photographs from magazines, and a few sketches she'd done herself. At least for the wedding dress, she knew exactly what she wanted. She wanted tiers of white satin, done on a bias cut preferably, covered with miles of white lace, and a train the length of the entire church. And on her head, Victoria was going to wear her mother's antique diamond tiara. That would be covered with lace too. And Olivia knew she would look like a queen if they could find someone to do it. And at Bonwit Teller the manager said it would be absolutely no problem.
They sat and talked about it for an hour, looking at fabric swatches, and discussing the kind of lace Olivia had in mind, while Victoria tried on hats and shoes and ignored them.
"They need your measurements, " Olivia said finally, pleased with all she'd accomplished.
"Have them take yours, they're exactly the same as mine, " Victoria said easily, and Olivia scolded her for it.
"No, they're not, and you know it." Victoria's bust was slightly larger, her waist just the smallest fraction smaller, but enough to make a hair of difference. "Come on, take your clothes off."
"All right, all right." Victoria put up with the measuring, and then the manager and Olivia got down to business about her own dress.
Olivia had envisioned ice-blue satin, in a design similar to her sister's wedding dress, but not quite as long, without the train, and without the lace over it. Just ice-blue satin in tiers, bias cut, and perfectly simple. But as they sketched it, the manager insisted it was too plain in contrast to Victoria's wedding gown, which was going to be quite spectacular. They added a small train after all, and the piece de resistance was a long pale blue lace coat over the gown, with a matching hat. It was in perfect harmony now with what her sister was wearing.
Olivia smiled as she glanced at the sketches and showed them to her sister, who smiled amiably and then whispered irreverently to her.
"Why don't we switch on my wedding day? No one will ever know the difference."
"Behave yourself, " Olivia said sternly. And they went on to look at designs for other gowns, and the countless dresses Victoria needed.
It was going to be a long summer in Europe.
Olivia realized they'd have to come back again, to pick more things out, and also for fittings. She had just agreed to come back the next day without Victoria, and stood up to thank the manager for her help, when Olivia noticed her sister staring at some new arrivals. There was a tall dark-haired man talking to someone, she could hear him laughing, and all the salesgirls seemed to be flocking toward him and the woman with him.
She was tall and blonde and swathe in a chinchilla cocoon, and as they turned, Olivia could see easily that it was Toby Whitticomb, and Evangeline, enormously pregnant. She couldn't imagine what she was doing out in public, looking like that, but she didn't seem to care, as she took off the chinchilla coat and exposed a vast expanse of well-rounded gray satin. She looked to be at least seven months pregnant. And as Olivia stared back at her, she glanced quickly at her sister.
Victoria looked as though she had been struck by lightning. Olivia said goodbye to the manager as quickly as she could, and urged her sister toward the entrance.
"Let's go, Victoria, we're finished, " she said gently, but it was as though she couldn't move. Victoria was riveted to the spot where she stood, staring at Toby. And as though he felt her eyes on him, he suddenly stared back at her, and then her sister, and it was obvious that he had no idea which one she was, but he looked more than a little unnerved by the double vision. He looked away from them as swiftly as he could, and led Evangeline to a far corner of the store, but she had seen them too, and she began arguing with him the moment she'd seen them.
"Victoria, please .. ." Olivia said in a firm undervoice, embarrassed by the scene around them. Salesgirls were watching them, Toby had just said something sharp to his wife, and Evangeline had started crying and darting glances at the twin sisters.
With that, Olivia grabbed her sister's arm, and almost dragged her forcibly from the store, and back out into the street where she hailed a taxi. And mercifully, there had been one waiting. But as Olivia shoved her sister in ahead of her, and almost collapsed on the seat next to her, she could see that Victoria was crying. She gave the driver the name of their hotel, and sat in silence as Victoria sobbed uncontrollably. It was the first time she had seen him since that ghastly scene on the steps outside his office.
"I would have been five months pregnant by now, " she wailed, mourning aloud for the first time the baby she'd lost in November in Croton.
"With your life smashed to bits around you. For God's sake, Victoria, look at what he did to you. He ruined you, and then he denied you.
Please don't tell me you're still in love with him, " she whispered in the back of the cab with horror, but Victoria only shook her head and cried harder.
"I hate him. I hate everything he stands for, everything he did to me, " and yet when she thought of those afternoons in the cottage, it still made her heart ache. She had believed everything he said to her, about leaving his wife, and loving her, and now Evangeline was parading around, pointing at her like a floozie, and carrying his baby.
It brought home the bitter realization of what her father had tried to protect her from when he forced her to promise herself to Charles Dawson. And it made her grateful to Charles for the first time, for his protection, but it would never make her love him.
She was still crying when they reached the hotel, and when they got back to their room, she lay on the bed and sobbed until Olivia thought her heart would break, and nothing she said or did stopped it. It had been a bitter lesson in the cruelty of men, and Olivia knew her sister would never forget it.
Victoria stopped crying finally at six o'clock, and she sat looking beaten and defeated as she glanced at her sister.
"You'll forget him one day. You will, " Olivia promised softly.
"I'll never trust anyone again. You can't imagine the things he said, Ollie .. . I'd never have done it otherwise .. ." Or would she?
She wasn't even sure she knew herself now. He had made her do things she never would have dreamt of. And how could she ever explain that to Charles? It was hard now, seeing Toby again, to believe that Charles would actually marry her, and she was even more grateful. "I was so stupid, " she confessed to her sister again, and Olivia sat with her arms around her until Charles came, and he found both sisters unusually subdued, particularly his fiancee.
"Is anything wrong? " he asked worriedly. "Are you ill? " He glanced from one to the other, and Olivia smiled as Victoria shook her head dumbly.
"It was just a very long day, and somewhat emotional. Buying a wedding dress is one of the most important moments in a woman's life, " Olivia explained, but did not entirely convince him. He wondered if they were both beginning to feel the pain of leaving each other, and he felt sorry for them as he thought of it, and a few minutes later, he invited Olivia to join them for dinner. They were going to the Ritz-Carlton, and then on to a concert. But she insisted that they go alone, she didn't want to intrude on them. They hadn't seen each other in two months, and she thought it was best if they spent some time together.
She was going to have dinner alone at the hotel, in her room, and look over some more designs for gowns for her sister.
"You're sure? " Charles asked her quietly, while they were waiting for Victoria to finish dressing.
"Very much so, " she said quietly, remembering something vague and elusive about the night she fell from the horse in Croton, but she couldn't remember what it was now. "This is hard for her sometimes, " she tried to explain to him, wanting him to love her sister. She loved her sister so much that she couldn't bear to think of her with a man who didn't understand her. But she knew that Charles was decent and, and would be good to her, no matter what happened between them.
We're going to miss each other terribly, " Olivia said with a wistful smile.
"I'm glad Geoff will be with me this summer."
"He's ecstatic over it.
" And then his eyes searched hers, but could find no answers. He wondered who she was sometimes, and why she had been so willing to give up everything for her father. She was just as beautiful as her twin, why would she agree to give it all up for him?
What was her lonely secret? She hadn't struck him as being quite so retiring when they met, the previous September. We were thinking of coming to you for Easter, " Charles said cautiously, to change the subject. "If it's not too much trouble. Your father mentioned it when I saw him." "We'd love to have you for Easter, " Olivia said with a look of pleasure, as Victoria joined them. She was wearing a dark blue satin dress Olivia had chosen for her, and she looked like the queen of midnight. Sapphires and diamonds their father had given them shimmered on her ears, and she wore the long rope of pearls that had been their mother's and they shared for important occasions.
"You look lovely, " he said, as he looked at her proudly. She was a spectacular-looking young woman. And it was even more extraordinary to think that there were two of them. He was momentarily sorry again that Olivia wasn't coming out with them. He would have enjoyed it. But there was no convincing her, and Charles and Victoria left a few minutes later.
The restaurant was very elegant, and Victoria suddenly got nervous after they arrived. What if Toby came in with his wife? She felt completely unprepared to see him again, and extremely anxious.
"You're very quiet tonight, " Charles said, as he took her hand in his own after they'd ordered. "Is anything wrong? " She shook her head, but he saw tears there and didn't want to press her further.
.
They spoke of other things then, politics, their trip, their wedding, and problems in Europe. He liked the fact that she was interested in world events, and well informed, although her ideas were extremely liberal, almost to the point of being outrageous, but sometimes that pleased him.
He introduced her to a number of his acquaintances that night, and they sat in a box with friends at the concert, and Victoria looked more relaxed when he brought her back to the hotel. She even lit a cigarette as she shared a drink with him in the restaurant next to the lobby.
"Oh my, " he said, and then laughed at his own reaction, as she smiled in amusement.
"Shocked, Charles? " She liked that. She looked more herself than she had all evening.
"Do you want me to be? " He sipped his Scotch and eyed her in admiration. She had lots of spirit and intelligence along with her looks. For the second time in his life, he'd been lucky, although this couldn't be more different from his courtship with Susan.
"Maybe. Maybe I like it when I shock you." She smiled and blew smoke in his direction.
"I suspect that's true, " he said philosophically. "In which case, we should have a very interesting life, you and I, won't we? " And then with the Scotch loosening his tongue, he dared to ask her something he had wondered. "Were you very much in love with him? The man who broke your engagement." He watched her closely, and waited.
She hesitated, remembering the Toby she had known, the one she had loved so fiercely, and the one she had seen only that morning .
.
. the one on the steps of his office who had denied her .
the one who had told her father that she had seduced him .. .
"I was.
Once. But I'm not anymore. Actually, there are times when I think I hate him."
"That's just the other side of love, isn't it? "
"I suppose so." It had almost killed her seeing him that morning.
"We weren't engaged." She met his eyes squarely, not wanting to be deceitful. It was enough that he was saving her. She didn't have to lie to him as well, but he nodded.
"I knew that. It just seemed easier to put it that way. Your father gave me some vague idea of what happened. You were very young.
You still are." He smiled gently at her, wishing that there were something more between them, and then relieved at the same time that there wasn't.
She aroused him incredibly, but that was another matter entirely. "It was unfair of him to take advantage of you. That's easily done with young girls, and no gentleman should do it. Your father said he lied to you, and promised marriage." She nodded, unwilling to add to what he already knew. It seemed to be enough after all. And yet, he was willing to have her. It was hard to understand why. Perhaps it was just destined.
