The Ashes of My Soul, page 5
“Going to kill me just like the rest?” The guy lifted his head to look up at me. He sneered, but I could see the fear in his expression. “Always heard you were a murder machine. Isn’t that what this is all about?”
“Shut up.”
“You scare people, Parker. You don’t have any fucking control, do you?” He coughed and wiped his mouth with the back of one hand. “Shade’s always been right about you and you know it.”
“Shut up.”
“Know what? We don’t need to threaten people.” He grinned. “You’ll lose your shit and kill them by accident.”
“Shut up!” I kicked him in the side, rolling him onto his back and drawing a cry of pain. I dropped down on his stomach, straddling him and jabbing fingers into his broken ribs. “Fuck you and your fucking double standards. He killed my friend. He’s tried to kill me. He’s as out of control as me. The only reason I go this far is because he keeps pushing me!” I thumped an open palm against his sternum. “He pushes and pushes me, he pushed me when he trained me, he pushed me to become this fucking strong, then he panics as soon as I’m too strong for him to control anymore!”
“Cry more, asshole.”
Tears had risen to my eyes. I hadn’t even noticed. I blinked them away and stared down at him. “Do you really think I’m out of control?”
He coughed and I saw blood on his lips. “You’re fucking crazy.”
“Maybe you’re right.” I balled a fist and slammed it into his face. Slammed it into his face over and over. I lost track of how many times I hit him. Skin split. Bones cracked and broke, both his and mine. My knuckles split and it was impossible to tell whose blood was whose.
As I raised my fist one more time, someone grabbed it. “Kevin! Stop! Stop it!”
“Let go!” I tried to pull my arm free, but whoever it was had a grip of stone. I looked over my shoulder. Star’s face was streaked, either tears or water from the overhead sprinklers. I’d never noticed them turning on. “Star? When did you get here?”
“I’ve been screaming at you to stop,” she whispered. I unclenched my fists and forced my hands to relax. “What have you done?”
“What do you mean?”
Her face was pale and her gaze tracked down to my victim. I looked down to see an unrecognizable lump of bloody meat where his face had been before. “They’re dead, Kevin. They’re all dead.”
Chapter Four
“What?” I looked back up at Star.
“They’re all dead.” Her voice was barely audible. “Broken necks. Electrocuted. The ones in the middle of the store. All of them.”
My hands began throbbing in sync with my heart. I looked down at my free hand to see my knuckles raw and split, to the bone in a couple of cases. “Him?”
“Yeah.”
“He can’t be.” My throat felt raw, as if I’d been screaming. I probably had been. I couldn’t remember.
“I think he was dead a couple of minutes ago.”
“I wasn’t hitting him that long!”
“You were.” Her voice was still quiet. “It took us ten minutes to get here from the time I called you.”
“It was just a moment ago.” It’d only been a couple of minutes from my perspective. I’d completely lost myself. I’d been pummeling the guy for well over five minutes. “I swear, a moment ago. I swear.”
“I know.” She tugged my wrist. “Come on. Let’s go.”
I let her pull me to my feet. “Did you get the guy who escaped?”
“They got away long before we got here.” We walked back to the center of the store. Grace was crouched over Absynthe, while four others were manifesting blue glows and cleaning up the mess. One looked at me and his glow flickered while his expression twisted in disgust. I couldn’t blame him. I slipped on my next step, almost bringing Star down with me. I still dropped to one knee and the stench of death rose to meet me. The metallic smell of blood, the stink of shit and rancid water from the sprinklers, the sweat and fear and horror of a shredded body overwhelmed me and I retched, bile and coffee overflowing. Star rubbed my back while I heaved. “Sorry,” I rasped as soon as my stomach settled. My throat hurt an order of magnitude worse than before.
Psionic energy curled around me and I felt the nausea fade, followed by the worst of my pain. “We’ll have to wait until you get back to the campus for real healing,” Star said. “Grace, how’s Absynthe?”
“Minor concussion,” Grace replied. “Cracked rib. Bumps and bruises and cuts.”
“Wake her up.”
“Not smart. She’s concussed. If I force her awake now, it’ll take longer to recover.”
“I don’t care. I need her awake.” Star said. Her tone was calm but I could sense tension under the surface. “I’m driving her and Kevin back. Handle the rest of the cleanup.”
Grace looked at me and shook her head. “You’re the boss.”
“Come on.” Star tugged me toward the front entrance. The doors were doors in name only, having been blasted off their hinges and the glass was gone. We walked out into the mostly empty parking lot. I was bloody and disheveled. She was manifesting an electric blue glow. The couple of people we walked by had a glazed look to their eyes, psionic suggestion keeping them from comprehending the disaster. Star touched Absynthe’s car’s door and all the locks clicked open. “Get in,” she said.
I got in the passenger side. She sat in the driver’s seat and closed the door. Neither of us spoke for a couple of minutes. “I’m sorry,” I finally said.
“For?”
“I didn’t mean to kill them all.”
“You had to.”
“No, I didn’t.” She turned to glare at me, but I shook my head. “Some of them, yes. The others were accidents. I misjudged my own strength. I lost control. After all we’ve done, all the training, all the warnings, I still fucked up. I fucked up hard.”
“You can’t blame yourself for accidents,” she said. “ Any experienced psion should have been able to react quickly enough to prevent a broken neck, even if it was you tossing them around.”
The image of Nikki slumping against a wall flashed before my eyes. “I’ve done it before.”
“Even so, you can’t-”
“Shade’s right.” I cut her off and she closed her mouth. “He’s right about me. I can’t control my own strength. He’s going to take this and rub it in everyone’s face as proof he’s right. It’s going to sway more people.”
“No. It won’t.” Star grabbed my chin and forced me to look at her. Her eyes were hard. “We’re going to eliminate as much evidence as possible. He can claim anything he wants, but without any actual proof, it’s his word against yours.”
“The guy who escaped can support him.”
“As long as you can cast reasonable doubt, it’ll be fine. The only ones who died are the ones who tried to straight up kill you and Absynthe. The use of deadly force in those situations is legitimate.”
“So lie about the others?”
“Yes.” Her gaze didn’t falter.
“All right.”
She let go of my chin. “We’ll cover it up. Trust me. The Resistance is good at cover-ups.”
“I’m sure you are. By the way, how did you get here in ten minutes? That’s faster than we drove.”
“We flew.”
“You what?”
“Flew. Well, it’s more like jumping really high and far. You’d be surprised how much ground you can cover when you’re motivated.” Her lips quirked upward, the first smile I’d seen on her face today. “I’ll show you how to do it one day.”
“Sounds useful.” Her eyes tracked past me and I turned my head to see Grace and Absynthe walking toward the car. Absynthe was a little unsteady and Grace had a hand on her shoulder.
When they reached the car, Star rolled the windows down. “Get in,” she said.
“You’re in my seat,” Absynthe replied.
“You’re not able to drive. Get in.” She looked past Absynthe to Grace. “How’s it looking in there?”
“Bad.”
“Burn it.”
“It’s a little wet in there.”
“I don’t give a fuck, Grace. Set the place on fire, cover your tracks, get home and wait for me to get back. And Absynthe, get the fuck in the car already.”
I expected Absynthe to flip shit, but she slid into the back seat. Grace took a deep breath, like she was going to say something more, but she shook her head. “You got it, boss. Fahrenheit 451 on the store and get out. See you later.”
Star rolled the windows back up as Grace walked off. I realized she still didn’t have the keys. Learning how to psionically hotwire cars was another Resistance trick I’d love to learn. I turned to look at Absynthe, who was sitting in the back seat with a neutral expression. She had a huge black eye and the bruising radiated all the way down to her chin. She’d taken a hard hit. “How are you feeling?” I asked.
“As well as can be expected, considering the circumstances,” she replied.
Star drummed her fingers on the steering wheel. “The circumstances. Let’s talk about the circumstances, Alex. Would you please explain what exactly you were doing?”
“I don’t have any responsibility to inform you of Establishment actions.”
“I have the responsibility to protect Kevin. If you’re going to be a problem when it comes to my responsibility, I will solve that problem.”
Absynthe stayed silent long enough to make me nervous. “Intelligence reports indicated there was a cell of Shade’s people in the area about to rotate out. It was a good opportunity to lure them out and capture one without Alistair finding out.”
“Lure them out,” Star repeated. “So you decided to lure a full cell of Shade’s people, a cell of unknown size, to come after you and Kevin. Just you and Kevin.”
“The information said four people. That’s well within our abilities.”
“And how did Shade’s people find out?”
“I told someone I suspected would leak our movements. I was right.”
“You certainly were. So, what would you say the results of your operation were?”
“We failed to capture one of them, but we neutralized nearly a dozen of Shade’s people and verified an informant within the Establishment. Overall, successful.”
Star’s composure finally cracked. “Successful? You both nearly died and it was successful? What would have happened if there was one more cell in the area? Or if they’d been stronger than you expected? What if they’d had a second tier psion here? What the fuck were you thinking?”
Absynthe’s expression remained impassive. “I judged the benefits to be worth the risks.”
“And you never thought to run this idea by me first?”
“As I said before, I have no responsibility to inform you of Establishment actions.”
Star turned in her seat to finally look back at Absynthe. Her eyes were faintly glowing. “And I told you, if you become a problem, I will solve that problem. I’ll solve it right here and now if you don’t cooperate with me.”
“Are you threatening me?”
“Yes, Alex. Yes, I am.”
Absynthe’s expression finally changed. Her eyes narrowed. “I didn’t tell you because I don’t trust all of your team. I followed standard operational security. Any other leaks could have been disastrous.”
“My team was vetted by Todd. Do you think Todd’s playing both sides?” Star’s glow brightened. I could tell she was within moments of turning Absynthe’s brain into slush.
Absynthe shook her head and winced. “Of course not. It’s my job to be paranoid, Sarah. Even if Todd checked them all, there’s a chance he could be wrong, and all it takes is one mistake to end everything.”
“Like this one?”
“The next operation will be planned better.”
“Next operation? Not fucking going to happen.” Star’s tone was growing harsher. “He’s not just my boyfriend. My job is to keep him safe. If you want to lure Shade’s assholes out, use yourself. Use whoever else you want. Not Kevin.”
“He agreed to this.”
Star’s glare turned to me. “Did he.”
“It sounded reasonable at the time.” I looked down at my mangled hands. “In retrospect, not so much.”
“And you didn’t tell me?”
“I told him it was easier to ask for forgiveness than permission,” Absynthe said, drawing the heated glare away from me. “If it had gone as planned, you’d only be finding out after we took a prisoner.”
“Aren’t you experienced enough to know no plan survives contact with the enemy?” Star asked. Absynthe didn’t reply. “Give me your fucking keys. I’m taking you home.”
The older woman pulled a set of keys out of her pocket and handed them over. The ride back to Troy was silent and painful. My hands throbbed with every single bump we hit. Most of my fingers seemed broken or at least fractured. Every knuckle was split and bruised and oozing. My hands were fixed into claws and any change from that position resulted in a fresh new surge of agony racing up my arms.
When we reached Troy, Star headed for her apartment instead of the campus. Neither of us protested. She parked in a nearby lot and looked over at me. “Come on. Let’s get you some medical attention.”
“Our infirmary-”
“Your infirmary?” Star cut Absynthe off. “I wonder who might leak things there.”
Absynthe shut up and the three of us headed up to Star’s apartment. Grace wasn’t back yet, which surprised me a little. I didn’t think it would have taken too long to set a fire and jump back. That led me to another train of thought and by the time I was sitting on Star’s couch, I was properly paranoid again. “Star, how noticeable would your jumping out of here been?”
“Not too visible. Once you’ve learned how to do it, it’s just a rapid burst of power to jump and another one to land.” Her tone was slightly sing-song and I knew she was holding something back. “Don’t worry about us being spotted. We know what we’re doing.”
“All right.” She was rummaging through her kitchen as we spoke, and finally came out with a first aid kit. “How’s that supposed to help?”
“Cleaning the wounds,” she said. “I can’t use excessive power, not with the Establishment on high alert. I know what I’m doing, remember?”
Absynthe cleared her throat. “Kevin.”
“Yeah?”
“You violated a lot of rules today.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Star burst out.
I held my hands toward her. “Let her talk. Please. Get this over with.”
Her anger was obvious, but she didn’t say anything else as she rummaged through the kit. Absynthe cleared her throat again. “As I was saying. Your excessive use of force today is not going to go unnoticed. Even with a successful cleanup, word will get out.”
“Already been over this. I’ll deny everything.”
“None of Shade’s sympathizers will believe you.” Her dark eyes were drooping. “While others may accept your denials, they won’t, and that makes it more likely they’ll attempt to kill you outright, without warning or attempts to capture you and talk.”
“I thought you were unconscious.” I winced as Star finally started to wipe away some of the dried blood coating my hands.
“I was in and out. He wants to talk to you.” She smiled thinly. “I doubt he thinks you’re that stupid.”
“I’ve never entirely understood his way of thinking.”
“That’s true for both of us.” She shook her head and the smile dropped away. “Regardless, do you realize what you did?”
“I killed them,” I said. My stomach twisted and I felt a touch of nausea as I remembered the glass explosion. “I killed a lot of them. They threatened me and they threatened you. I’m done letting them make threats.”
“You lost control.”
I took a deep breath, both to control my temper and to control the impulse to jerk my hands free of Star’s sudden squeeze. “Absynthe, I didn’t lose control. Not completely. I knew what I was doing. I knew the consequences. I misjudged my own strength at first, but the glass? One hundred percent deliberate. The only time I lost myself was at the end.”
Absynthe’s eyes squeezed shut and I had the sense she was also trying to keep her temper under control. “You understand you violated almost every single convention of psionic conflict?”
“Don’t give me that. Deadly force, deadly threats, deadly response. And, don’t forget, I was acting to defend someone who was incapable of defending herself.” I wanted to cross my arms, but settled for glaring at her. “Not even Alistair would blame me.”
“I hope he doesn’t.”
“You’re going to tell him?”
She spread her hands wide. “He can’t ignore such a major event so close to home. I have to tell him before someone from Shade’s side gets to him. If I can spin it in our favor, I can mitigate the damage.”
“What damage?”
“You lost control and used excessive force. Don’t argue with me. It’s not me you have to convince. It’s everyone else.”
“He’s going to believe Shade’s bullshit?” I burst out.
“He already does!” Absynthe shouted. Star tensed. “Don’t you get it, Kevin? We already know Alistair is complicit! If he believed you, you’d be safe!”
“So why hasn’t he just taken matters into his own hands?” I asked.
“How should I know? Maybe he’s playing both sides. Maybe he thinks fighting Shade is going to make you stronger. Maybe this is part of his plan all along. My guess? He doesn’t have enough support within the Establishment to act yet. If he does anything to you without a significant majority, he’s risking a split and that’ll stop his plans.”
“It’s all public relations, isn’t it?”
“Yes. That’s why we need to make some sort of compromise to make sure he can’t take this incident and run with it.” She leaned toward me and narrowed her eyes. “Kevin, you’re restricted to campus until this incident has been fully investigated.”
