Burn Zone, page 26
part #1 of Hotshots Series
“I don’t think it’s going to come to that.” Sims’s tone was gentler now. “We’ll keep you posted on the policy, same as I’m doing for the others. You’re two of our best. We want to keep you.”
“Good.” Jacob still didn’t sound satisfied, but he kept his mouth a thin, closed line as he nodded.
“Thanks.” All Linc’s muscles protested and he had to shift his weight on the crutches before he could add anything else. He’d been standing far too long and was going to pay the price for that later as well.
“Hey, let’s get you back to the couch.” Jacob must have picked up on his discomfort because next thing he was guiding Linc back to the living room, Sims and the dogs trailing behind.
“I won’t keep you any longer,” she said as Jacob helped Linc prop up his leg on a footstool. “If you enjoy the casserole, let me know. Estevao has fun trying new things he finds on the web.”
“Will do.” Jacob showed her to the door after some more promises to keep her updated on their respective medical appointments, then came to collapse next to Linc on the couch. “Well, that wasn’t terrible, but what the hell, man? You’re not giving up jumping. No way. Or...” His eyes narrowed as he turned to give Linc an appraising stare. “Is this still about you thinking you need to sell this place? Some sort of a fresh start? New work situation?”
“No.” Putting a hand on his thigh, Linc was fast to assure him. “Not like that. I don’t need a new start. Not now. You’re my fresh start. You. This. I don’t need to run anymore.”
“Good,” Jacob said firmly. “But if you did need to get away from here, you better have room for one more on the road. Because I’m going too.”
“Thanks.” Warmth spreading across his chest, Linc appreciated his words more than he could ever say and had to lick his lips before continuing. “And yeah, I’ll always have a spot for you.”
“Promise?” Eyes serious, Jacob placed his hand over Linc’s.
Linc took a breath because this wasn’t a tiny thing. He took his word damn seriously, which Jacob well knew. “I promise. I’m not letting you go. And I’m not leaving either. That...wasn’t my best plan. I belong here.”
“With me. And doing your job,” Jacob added, squeezing Linc’s hand.
“It doesn’t matter what job I do. What matters is us together for all of it. And I want that. The rest of the future can work itself out with time.”
“I hope so.” Jacob sounded surer than he had in recent days, which counted for an awful lot as far as Linc was concerned, and he pulled him close.
“I know so,” he said right before he claimed a kiss. Jacob had been the certain one for so many years now, the one who had known that come hell or high water they were meant to be together. Linc had been the one intent on resisting the truth his soul had known for a very long time—Jacob was the one for him. If Jacob needed him to be the confident one for right now, Linc could do that for him, could wait for the moment when Jacob was as convinced as he was that this was the right course of action.
Chapter Twenty-Four
“I don’t want to go.” Jacob had jumped out of perfectly good airplanes, faced back draft, done days of mop-up duty covered in ash, and publicly had his ass kicked in MMA matches, and even with all that history, one lunch with his family filled him with more dread than any roundhouse kick or fire flare-up.
“You’re going.” From his place on the couch, Linc gestured at the front door. “And the sooner you go, the sooner you can be back here and we can finish that movie we started last night.”
“I hate that she didn’t invite you. I say you should come anyway.” Jacob’s mother had texted, summoning him to an after-church meal at her place. He supposed it was an olive branch of sorts, but it killed him that Linc hadn’t received a similar message. She hadn’t specifically said to come alone, but also hadn’t suggested he bring Linc, which led Linc to assuming, probably correctly, that Mom wanted to see him alone.
“And I say give it time.” Linc’s voice was far more patient than Jacob felt. “This is a step. She loves you and wants to see you. Maybe she still needs to sort out how she feels about me.”
“Bullshit. She’s loved you for what...thirty years now? She can get over herself about objecting to us being together or thinking that you’re taking advantage or anything else ridiculous.”
“Just go. See what she has to say. If it’s too awful, leave early. I’ll heat up another casserole if you leave hungry.”
Jacob sighed, knowing he’d lost the battle. For all that Linc had stood up to Jacob’s mom and Sims, his family was still a touchy subject. And he understood. It was a loss for Linc, and Jacob would do anything to take away that pain along with magically healing his other injuries. No matter what Linc said, it did feel like Linc had chosen him over the family, like he was picking Jacob over Wyatt’s memory, and Jacob was still working out how he felt about that.
Linc saying all the right things helped a little, all his promises to keep Jacob around. Because if there was one thing everyone knew about Linc, it was that he kept his promises. Linc said they were together no matter what now, and Jacob wanted desperately to believe him, to trust his word and trust that shared future, but it was still hard.
Still, as he drove to his mom’s place, he replayed every tender thing Linc had said the past few days, let each sweet word lift his mood. Maybe he’d been a little naive in assuming that being together would be easy, but even if the reality was harder than he’d predicted, he still wasn’t trading it for anything. If there was one thing he didn’t doubt, it was his feelings for Linc. Those had only deepened over the spring and summer as he’d replaced his fantasy guy with the flesh-and-blood real person.
Privately, he could admit that a lot of his fantasy of being with Linc had been lust-driven, but after they’d given in to that, his emotions had become a lot more complex as he’d seen other sides of Linc. The playful guy with the dogs. The good cook. The careful gardener. The DIY house-rehabber. The snarky TV watcher. The late-night cuddler. The hot-water hog.
So, yeah. He might have his doubts about whether Linc would change his mind, but his heart was all-in, had been for weeks now. And he wasn’t letting anyone, even his family, drive them apart. He almost turned the truck around when he saw Jon’s Tahoe, kids swarming all over the play set. Damn. It was going to be hard enough with just his mom and May. His other siblings were another layer of complication he didn’t really need.
For a change, his mother opened her own door.
“You came!” Her voice was bright but her smile was too wide, too toothy to be mistaken for her genuine one.
“Yeah. Linc helped me make his deviled egg recipe.” He handed her the small platter. It was supposed to be a dozen, but a few had suffered peeling mishaps. And then he’d made Linc keep two for himself. So it was a paltry offering, but his mom likely had enough food to feed the whole crew at the air base. The eggs weren’t the point.
“Thanks. You...uh...you’re staying over there?” Her cautious tone matched her carefully schooled expression.
“He had ACL surgery. Needs help keeping the weight off his leg. He shouldn’t have to deal with that alone.”
“No, he shouldn’t.” His mother worried her red lips with her teeth. She was still in her church clothes—a summery printed dress that almost seemed too cheery for this conversation. Under ordinary circumstances she would have been first on Linc’s porch with food and probably would have tried to insist he come here to recuperate. “I... Come eat? It’s sandwich fixings—too hot to really cook, but I made that potato salad you like.”
“Thanks.” Jacob had seldom felt less like eating, but he followed her to the kitchen, where she added his platter to the assortment of chips, salads, and heaping plates of cold cuts and cheese. The brothers-in-law and Jon had some sort of car race on the TV, and May and his sisters were outside with the kids. Same as a million other Sundays, but none of the usual cozy feeling. He dutifully went through the motions of grabbing a plate and added a tiny scoop of the potato salad and a roll to put some turkey on.
“Not hungry? Did they check you for an infection?”
“Broken wrist. Not a big infection risk.” He gave a tight laugh as he held up his cast. “Nah. Just a big breakfast.”
“Oh.” She flushed as if he’d made an off-color joke.
“Pancakes, Mom. Pancakes. We made them together when the dogs woke us up insanely early and Linc’s leg hurt too much for him to go back to sleep. I can’t flip them one-handed that well, but they were filling.”
“Oh.” Her shocked expression stayed firmly in place. Fuck. He didn’t want to have this conversation, but here they were, and his frustration leached into the force with which he ripped open his roll.
“I’m sorry. Am I supposed to pretend I’m not over there? That we’re not together? That we’re not sharing a bed?”
“Watch your mouth.” Jon came into the kitchen, face flushed and eyes narrowed.
“You too?” He groaned and set his plate aside. “The kids are all outside. I’m not allowed to say bed? Or is it the implication that I have sex? That not allowed now either? You’ve known for almost six years that I’m gay. Is that only okay if I’m not actually in a relationship?”
Jon’s mouth moved like he might be about to agree with that statement, but his mom spoke first. “Of course you can be in a relationship. I want you happy. I mean, I wouldn’t want to confuse the kids, but—”
Jacob cut her off even as Jon was nodding along with her. He made a frustrated noise at both of them. “Does it confuse the kids when Jon and his wife kiss under the mistletoe? When Joy and her husband sleep on the couch bed together when they visit? There’s nothing dirty or wrong about me having someone.”
“You’re right.” His mother sighed. “You’re right, of course. This is just all so new.”
“Six years,” he reminded her.
“I don’t mean that. I mean this.” She made a vague gesture with her hand. “Lincoln. You know. This. Whatever you think you’ve got going.”
“I’m still trying to wrap my head around how long he had me fooled...” Jon shook his head.
“Fooled? Fooled. Because he didn’t share something personal with you? Like you really think he was trying to trick you? Fu—”
“Boys.” His mother interjected in the same tone she’d used when they were younger. “This isn’t serving anything.”
“Exactly. It’s so pointless. Linc should be here. He’s part of this family too. And you’re punishing him, why? Because he dared to fall for me? Another adult, I’d add.”
“You were a kid when you first started hanging around him.” His mother twisted her silver bracelet. “It’s just not right. If he—”
“I was nineteen. Nineteen. And I was nearly twenty-five when we actually kissed or did anything about it. I’m as adult as him. As much to blame as him. Like you said, I’m the one who had the crush on him. I finally wear him down and you blame him? That’s some messed up sh—business.”
“Maybe you have a point,” his mother allowed. “It’s also that he’s family. Like you said. It’s...”
“Weird.” Jon rolled his jaw. “He’s like...an extra big brother or something. And we trusted him—”
“Trusted him? Am I some classic car to be protected from careless hands? Really, listen to yourself. This is Linc. Linc, who sobered you up, night before your wedding. Linc, who’s built everything needing put together here from sheds to Christmas presents to light fixtures. Linc, who’s worked side by side with all of us. Mud. Snow. Dust. Linc the baby whisperer. You seriously think you can’t trust him?” As he finished his tirade, sweat rolled down his neck.
“Oh.” His mother swallowed loudly.
“Yeah. Oh.” Maybe he hadn’t convinced either of them, but he’d sold himself. If he couldn’t trust Linc with his heart, then who? If he couldn’t trust Linc of all people to keep his word when he said he was keeping Jacob around, then there wasn’t anyone worth trusting anywhere. He was the best, most loyal, steadfast person Jacob had ever known. And if he said he loved Jacob, then he needed to be believed.
And now he seriously couldn’t wait to get back to him and tell him exactly that. But first, he had to deal with stupid assumptions.
“I get it. It was a shock or whatever, but you need to get over yourselves. This isn’t going away. I love him.” It occurred to him about twenty seconds too late that he probably should have said those words to Linc the first time he dared say them out loud. But he would. Soon. “And he loves me. If you can’t support us in that, then you’re not the people I thought you were. And that’s just sad.”
“I...” His mother’s eyes filled with tears, and he had to look away, especially as her voice broke. “I’ll try. Okay? It’s going to take some getting used to. I don’t want to lose you over this.”
“Maybe you should worry a little about losing Linc over this.”
“Fair enough.” She pulled on his sleeve, tugging him into an awkward hug. He was still upset, but he didn’t pull away.
“I mean it.” He met Jon’s eyes over his mother’s back. “I love him. I’m not giving him up, not for any of you. And you all owe him a great deal. And a lot better treatment than you’ve managed the past few days.”
“Okay.” Jon’s pinched expression said it might be the holidays before he completely thawed. Which, okay. Jacob could wait him out, like Linc said. But he was also gonna keep on calling him on it when he was an ass.
“You came!” May and a pack of kids came rushing in. She looked brighter than he’d seen her in quite some time, in a pretty yellow dress. “Junior wanted to see your cast. He’s still outside.”
“I was just going, actually. I’ll show him some other time. I need to get back.”
“Okay.” May came over and touched his arm as he pulled away from his mom. Jon drifted back to the couch area, apparently having said his piece. “Jacob?”
“Yeah?” His voice came out warier than intended, but God, he could not handle one more lecture, one more disappointed face.
“I’m happy for you.”
“You are?” He inhaled sharply. The first person in this whole saga who seemed genuinely to care about him and Linc, and it was May, who had lost so much. It was almost more than he could bear, his throat tightening.
“He’s the best guy any of us know.” May gave a wistful little smile. “And so are you. Can you take him one of the cinnamon rolls? He always likes those.”
“I can do that.” His voice was rough as he hugged her. He let his mom fuss over making a container of leftovers for them, her working too hard to please him with the food choices, but it was something. He left with several plastic boxes of food and two foil-wrapped cinnamon rolls, and a new conviction that he needed to trust Linc. If he was lucky enough to get to keep Linc, then he was going to enjoy this. Enjoy him. And he was going to somehow find the courage to tell Linc the words he’d waited years to say.
* * *
Still not used to these long stretches of free time with nothing to do but rest on the couch, Linc dozed while Jacob was gone, but he woke up at the dogs making a ruckus. He stretched as Jacob let the dogs out back into their run before making his way to Linc.
“That was fast,” he observed mildly, glancing at the living room clock.
“Yep.” Jacob settled next to him, hips touching. He brushed a lingering kiss across Linc’s lips. “It was. But they sent you cinnamon rolls. So, you know, not terrible.”
“Tell me you didn’t give them some kind of ultimatum.” He wasn’t an idiot. Jacob was vibrating with tension, there in his lips even.
Jacob’s mouth puckered, a breath whistling out. “Not exactly.”
“So you did.” Linc groaned. “I am not worth you sacrificing your relationship with your family with. They love you and—”
“They love you too. And if they love us so much, then they can damn well be happy for us.” Jacob had that stubborn expression that dared Linc to argue with him. “I’m not going to listen to their lectures or them fretting over something stupid like our age difference.”
“It’s not stupid. They care about you. They want to make sure I’m not taking advantage.” Hell, Linc had spent years worrying that same thing. He got where the family was coming from even if Jacob didn’t.
“Well, you’re not. If anyone is, it’s me. I’m the one who finally got you to give in...”
“Hey now.” Linc reached over and cupped his face. “You are not. I don’t want you thinking the rest of our lives that you... I dunno...made a pest of yourself. This isn’t you wearing me down until I gave in and gave you what you wanted.”
“It’s not?”
“No. This is you being persistent, yes, but you didn’t create this out of thin air. This was me giving myself what I really wanted, not giving in to you. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I do like making you happy, but you didn’t force me into this at all. I wanted it. All of it.”
“You really mean it, don’t you?” Jacob’s voice was full of wonder, but there was a trust in his expression, a warmth in his eyes that hadn’t been there before.
“I do. And I’m sorry that I made you doubt it, made you feel so alone in this. I wanted it. Even back then. Even when I was so sure that you’d change your mind eventually.”
“Not happening.” Turning, Jacob straddled him in an easy motion that kept his weight off Linc’s legs but still effectively pinned Linc to the couch. “I’m going to stick around.” Jacob’s demeanor had all the confidence of a bull rider determined to make bank and for once Linc couldn’t disagree, not when he wanted this just as much.
“Me too.”
“And if that means telling my family off, then that’s what I’m gonna do.”
“It’s okay with me if they just want to see you alone for a time.”
