Burn Zone, page 11
part #1 of Hotshots Series
* * *
Jacob took the long way to Linc’s place, as in not the way that passed by his mom’s place, not that he expected anyone to be watching the rural road for his truck, but he wasn’t taking chances. Similarly, he was grateful for Linc’s long, winding drive that hid the house and parking area from view. He still didn’t know what Linc was up to, ordering him to come over, turning down Jacob’s offer to switch to a different crew. An offer he’d meant sincerely. He wasn’t out to make either of them miserable, and if Linc didn’t want to be around him after last night, he’d understand. Hell, he was having a hard time playing it cool himself with all the flashbacks and frustrations.
And if he was smart, he wouldn’t be returning here so soon, a kicked dog looking for another scrap, but he’d never been particularly wise where Linc was concerned. As it was, he’d had to force himself to slow down, go home to his trailer first, take a shower, play on his phone awhile, anything to appear less eager. But judging by his galloping pulse as he turned down the drive, he’d failed miserably in that regard.
Speaking of dogs, Linc’s pair greeted him with their usual enthusiasm. These two were neither mistreated nor lacking in attention, more like spoiled rotten, and it was undoubtedly stupid to be jealous of them. But he was, mainly because the dogs were proof that Linc could attach to things, that he had a heart, a deeply kind side, that he wasn’t simply some aloof, emotionally distant loner incapable of affection. Hell, even his plants were a testament to him having a hidden domestic side, being more than a tattooed, hard-living badass who had no use for other people.
Jon had teased Linc about needing a wife, but he wasn’t entirely wrong—Linc had every sign of being the sort of guy who settled down, the sort of guy anyone would be lucky to have. But of course thinking of Jon reminded him that Linc still wasn’t out to everyone, still had a pile of misguided notions of honor and loyalty, and wasn’t likely to be setting them aside anytime soon.
So why the hell was Jacob here? Why had Linc summoned him? Linc’s face as he leaned against the porch rail gave nothing away, stoic as ever, coolly assessing Jacob as he walked to the porch.
“You came,” he said with a nod.
“You thought I wouldn’t? Pretty sure that was an order, not a request.”
“Sorry.” Flexing his hands, Linc looked away. “It wasn’t an order. More like invitation. If you’d rather—”
“Linc.” Reaching out, Jacob forced him to meet his gaze. “I’m here. Not about to turn around and leave. It was a joke, okay?”
“Yeah.” Exhaling, Linc didn’t shrug away from Jacob’s touch, instead stepping closer. “This is crazy.”
“The craziest,” Jacob agreed as Linc tugged him into a tight embrace. His eyes were troubled, but his mouth was hot and urgent as it claimed Jacob’s, hands sure on his back.
Not about to let Linc have all the fun, Jacob gave as good as he got, meeting Linc kiss for kiss, using lips and tongue and teeth until they were both groaning and stumbling toward the house. They bumped into the porch rail, righting themselves with another kiss, only to crash into the door frame, dogs racing back into the house ahead of them. But still they kissed, even as the dogs almost toppled them over. Linc broke away long enough to pull the door shut, returning to push Jacob into the entryway wall for another brutal kiss as they ground together.
“Fuck. We’re insane.” Linc didn’t give him much room to answer before he raked his teeth down the jaw Jacob had shaved earlier. Snaking a hand up under Jacob’s hoodie, he held him in a possessive death grip, like Jacob was in danger of running off.
“Crazy’s not supposed to feel this damn good,” he managed to gasp as Linc continued his assault.
“I know. And we’re...supposed...to be talking.” Linc explored more with his hands, broad touch lighting up each muscle group.
“Talking?” he groaned. “You brought me here to talk? Because it sure as hell feels like you asked me over to get off.”
“Both. Need both.” Linc captured his mouth for another desperate kiss. “Talk first. Then fuck.”
“Uh-huh. Good luck with that.” Jacob sucked hard on his questing tongue, loving the way it made Linc growl and shove him toward the nearby couch, them stumbling together in a sort of zombie waltz.
“Damn. Can’t think with you like this.” Linc pushed him down on the couch, sinking to his knees in between Jacob’s spread legs. Jacob had been blessed with some amazing sights in his life—sunrise at Crater Lake, family trip to Yellowstone, old growth forests and countless mountain sunsets. But none of those were as awe inspiring as Lincoln Reid, on his knees, looking like his sole goal in life was sucking Jacob as he undid Jacob’s belt and fly.
“This gonna help with the thinking problem?” He couldn’t resist joking even as Linc withdrew his cock, eyes hungry, lips parted.
“Nope.” Linc gave a tight smile before ensuring that neither of them was going to be doing much thinking at all by swallowing Jacob to the root in one smooth movement. He was pretty darn proud of his own oral skills and certainly enjoyed showing them off, but there was something about Linc’s greedy mouth that was utterly devastating. Maybe because he managed to still be just as dominating as ever, one hand keeping Jacob firmly in place as his other teased Jacob’s balls in time with the smooth, steady strokes of his mouth, each movement seemingly designed for maximum pleasure.
“Fuck.” Jacob was already breathing hard, body way closer to the edge than he liked. “If you’re serious about fucking, you might wanna slow down.”
“You’re giving me lectures about speed when I’ve got your dick in my mouth?” Linc pulled back to speak, jacking Jacob with his hand. “Mr. Faster-Faster-Faster? You want slow?”
He tortured Jacob with featherlight teases from his fingers and a few well-placed licks undoubtedly designed to ensure he had no brain cells left to answer with.
“Just...saying...if I come quickly...too sensitive to fuck...need time.” At least that had been his experience in the past, but then Linc had gone and made all his past experience with fucking totally irrelevant the night before, redefining what good felt like.
“Noted.” Linc went right back to sucking, same speed, same rhythm, even deeper suction now, intent clear. And hell if Jacob could continue to hold back. His head fell against the soft gray fabric of the couch, legs spreading wider to give Linc more access. Unlike how he’d jerked himself off while blowing Linc, here he got Linc’s undivided, single-minded attention, and it made it impossible to hold anything back. Every sensation was magnified—the bite of Linc’s fingers into his hipbone, the heat of his mouth, the friction of his tongue, the deviousness of his touch, delving lower, finding still-pleasantly-sore nerve endings from the night before.
He reached for Linc’s head but received a stern look before his hands even connected. “Hands behind your head. I’ll get you there.”
“No worries there.” Jacob’s voice was shaky now, as wobbly as his insides. He complied, not sure how he felt about the strangely vulnerable posture, except his cock seemed plenty on board with the command, dick pulsing as soon as he laced his hands behind his neck.
And Linc was as good as his word, doubling down, fingers rubbing, mouth pulling hard and approving noises escaping as Jacob let go of everything other than this right here. Every doubt, every uncertainty, all replaced by need and moans, until climax was slamming into him, not able to do much more than a muttered warning. Linc didn’t stop, sucked him right through the aftershocks until the attention was just this side of too much. But still he held the position, didn’t shove at him, waited to see what Linc wanted. Trusted Linc not to push him too far.
Wise decision, because Linc released him with a series of gentle licks and touches that only magnified the last waves of pleasure. Then Linc flopped down next to him on the couch, cock already out and in his fist.
“I can...help.” Jacob licked his dry lips, tried to find more of a voice.
“Good.” Still in bossy mode, he grabbed Jacob’s hand, brought it to his cock, but kept his own there too, guiding the rhythm and pressure. It should have been stifling, but instead it was hot, the way Linc kept all the control for himself, even as his head tipped back, low growls and grunts filling the room.
“Later...gonna fuck you...right here.” Linc’s voice was a raspy promise.
“Yeah, you are. Come on,” he urged, his own body responding to the tension in Linc’s.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He squeezed Jacob’s hand tighter, increasing the pace as his body stiffened and came all over their joined hands.
“Mmm. Damn.” Jacob stretched when Linc released his hand, bumping their shoulders together, not exactly a cuddle, but needing to keep contact with Linc, not break this spell. But then Linc groaned and pulled off his T-shirt, used it to clean off both their hands and gave him a pointed look, evaporating a lot of those good feelings.
“Now we talk.” Linc’s tone was resigned and his eyes were distant.
“Do you have to sound like I dragged you into getting off? Pretty sure that was you enthusiastically participating.”
“It was.” Linc sounded pained. “But we’ve gotta get a few things straight. Can’t keep fucking around and hating ourselves after and still doing it again.”
“Speak for yourself. I don’t hate myself.” Jacob scooted away as he zipped up his fly. God, could Linc make him feel worse? The last thing he wanted was Linc upset. “It’s just sex. Sex we’re long overdue on having. And okay, I was wrong about once being enough to get it out of my system, but I’m not going to beat myself up over that, not going to feel guilty for wanting you, for ending up here. There are plenty of things I regret, plenty of shortcomings I’d like to correct, but not this.”
“Fair enough.” Linc exhaled hard.
“But you do.” He didn’t make it a question. “You hate yourself for wanting me, and for what? Some promise you made more than half of a decade ago?”
It was dicey, even alluding to Wyatt, but it had to be done. However, that didn’t stop the sour feeling in his gut or his sudden need to study Linc’s bare white walls.
“It’s more than that, and you know it. Yeah, I broke my word. That happened. And you’re not wrong about him being gone, much as that kills me. But that doesn’t make it any better of an idea. Can’t change that I broke a promise, but I can still do my best to do right. There’s also the job now and your family and a whole lot of other factors that make us being together long-term a losing prospect.”
Jacob didn’t see how any of that was insurmountable, but if Linc wasn’t willing, he wasn’t going to plead with him to feel shit he simply didn’t. It was one thing to beg in bed, to need Linc for that release, and another thing to become a needy brat out of bed, demanding things Linc couldn’t or wouldn’t give and building resentment on all sides.
“So? You turned down the idea of me finding a different crew, getting out of your hair.”
“Yeah.” Linc groaned like Jacob had punched him. “I did. And I’ve got reasons for that too. But I’ve been thinking...your idea about working this out of our systems, it wasn’t terrible.”
“Except for the part where it didn’t work.”
“Well, maybe we didn’t give it enough time. We’ve got an awful lot of wanting at this point. Maybe it’s going to take more than once or twice to be able to move on.”
“So you propose fucking on the down low until one of us doesn’t want to anymore?” He couldn’t keep the skepticism out of his voice.
“You make it sound crass.”
“It’s not?”
“It wasn’t in my mind. Not like that. Not like using you.” Linc managed to sound outraged and hurt at the same time, like using Jacob was simply unthinkable. “More like...using each other. Working this thing out, figuring that it’ll run its course eventually. If we can do that, maybe the rest of it will get easier—work and everything else. We can be normal around each other finally.”
Jacob snorted. They were many things around each other, but normal unaffected acquaintances probably wasn’t ever going to be it.
“And it’s not like I’m gonna be here come fall anyway.”
“What the hell? What do you mean you’re not going to be here?” Jacob pushed off the couch so he could loom over Linc for once, show him how stupid his talk was.
“I’ve been doing a ton of thinking. All winter. Maybe I miss when I was traveling around. Taking jobs as they came. I figure me and the dogs, we can find a fresh start somewhere. Maybe near one of the other air bases. Alaska even. Somewhere where it doesn’t ache so damn much.”
Jacob’s heart broke for Linc’s pain even as frustration with his logic made his muscles tense.
“Oh, well, at least you’re keeping the dogs. You’d really sell this place? After all you went through to keep it? All the shit you had to deal with about your dad’s debts? You’d just let it go?”
Linc let out a pained huff. “Too much damn baggage around here. You. Wyatt. My folks.”
“I get it. But you think it will hurt less, not being around here, and you’re wrong. You can’t outrun yourself.”
“Maybe not. But maybe I gotta try. Anything to lose this...funk. Fucking sucks.”
“You think I’m not sad? This year’s been depressing for all of us.” Maybe he hadn’t realized until this moment exactly how sad and depressed Linc likely was. And he’d do anything to take that from him, but he wasn’t sure that encouraging him to get some sort of fresh start was the answer. “But you can’t run away. And what, you’ll fuck around with me up until you pull up stakes? And you’ll hope that makes you... I dunno...immune to me or something? No more what-ifs?”
“Exactly. One way or another, it’ll burn itself out, but there’s no reason to drive ourselves crazy all summer with avoiding each other. Not when I’m leaving anyway. And you’re the one who said getting it out of our systems would help.”
“Yeah. I did.” Defeated, Jacob slumped back onto the couch, next to Linc. Was he really going to turn down more sex with Linc simply because he was pissed that Linc found him so expendable? Especially when he’d done nothing other than encourage Linc to see him that way. And if the choice was more months of tense and awkward interactions or a secret affair, was there really a choice at all? Not when he still wanted Linc so damn bad. It wasn’t like he could simply turn it off, not after this long. Linc might be able to delude himself into thinking he’d be able to walk away, unscathed and guilt-free, but Jacob knew the truth. Losing Linc was going to suck no matter when or how it happened. So he might as well enjoy it while he had it. “Fuck it. Okay. Okay. Fine. Have it your way.”
“It’s the only answer I’ve got.” Linc sounded as resigned as Jacob felt, which strangely strengthened his resolve. Linc was hurting, and if this helped, then Jacob was powerless to say no. “Only thing that makes sense, not that any of this does, not really.”
“Well, either way, we’re screwed. Might as well be the fun kind.” He forced his voice to be light, knowing that was what Linc expected of him. He wasn’t supposed to be the emo, pensive one. He was supposed to be leaping at the idea of more sex with Linc. It wasn’t enough, wasn’t ever going to be enough. But whatever. He’d take what he could now, worry about the autumn and what was sure to be left later.
Chapter Ten
“Yeah. Might as well.” Linc gave Jacob a tight smile. It was possibly the stupidest plan he’d ever had, but it was the best he could manage. The alternative was to quit now, hit the road, hope to catch on with another smoke-jumping base, but he’d be leaving a lot of people in the lurch. And the dogs. They made everything more complicated, but it wasn’t like he was leaving them behind either. No, it was better that he see the season out, then find a situation for him and the dogs that better suited them, away from all these blasted memories. Close enough so that maybe he could see Jenna and the family every once in a blue moon. If they’d have him. If this thing with Jacob didn’t blow up in all their faces first.
And yes, the smartest thing would be to get Jacob moved to a different crew, but apparently lust had addled what remained of his brains. Because right now, the best plan seemed to be to get through the summer, keep Jacob alive at work, carry on with him enough in private to loosen this hold they had on each other and make the work easier and the moving on more realistic. He wasn’t being cutesy—he really did think Jacob had a point. Maybe if they fucked around enough this...fixation would end.
And maybe Bandit and Shadow would start flying around their dog run. But it was worth a shot. And at this point, anything that got him more Jacob was worth all the rationalization and justification.
“If that’s settled...” Jacob glanced over his shoulder at the door. He seemed to be as reluctant as Linc to continue the deep talk. “I believe I was promised couch sex, but you’ve got old-man recovery issues and I don’t want to overstay my welcome—”
“Simmer down.” Linc forced himself to smile, to reach for the lightness that was never that far away when Jacob was around. “I’ll feed you. We’ll get to the other.”
“I don’t want to keep taking your food,” Jacob protested even as he followed Linc toward the kitchen.
“Sorry. Pizza won’t deliver this far out, and I’m hungry. You can cope with your guilt by helping me cook.” Both dogs followed along to the kitchen, undoubtedly sensing that human food was in the offing. After washing his hands and getting his clothes back to rights, he turned back to Jacob. “You wanna start by helping feed these beasts?”
“Sure.” Jacob threw a few toys for them while Linc changed out the water and set out the chow.
“Go get it! Come on! You can do it!” Jacob’s laughter filled the crisp spring air. He was so good at being playful with the dogs, and they ate it up, chasing down the toys and dancing around in front of him. As he watched them, Linc’s chest grew uncomfortably tight. He was used to the bolts of lust where Jacob was concerned, but these other, softer emotions always took him by surprise, made him simultaneously want to run but also to wrap the moment up, tuck it away in his memory banks.
