Burn Zone, page 13
part #1 of Hotshots Series
Twice, Linc tapped his chair right before Sims called on him, the briefest of warnings before he was put on the spot, but enough so that he didn’t look like a total idiot.
“Thanks for saving my bacon,” he said in a low voice at lunch. Garrick was joking around with Kelley, and Ray and McKenna were deep in conversation and not paying them any attention.
“No problem. Your bacon’s worth saving.” Matching his whisper, Linc offered him a lopsided grin and one of the first purposefully flirty jokes he’d made. Something warm unfurled in Jacob’s gut. This was only sex. He knew that. Hoping for anything else would be stupid, and still...
“You gonna come with me to Bend to collect this play set for the kids with Garrick’s discount?” Setting up more non-sex time together was undoubtedly a mistake, and still he couldn’t help hoping Linc said yes. His body tensed, and he tried not to stare too hard at Linc, waiting for a reply.
Taking another bite of his sandwich, Linc was silent for a moment, then finally nodded. “We’ll take my truck. It’s bigger, and there’s sure to be a lot of boxes. Friday? After work? That way it’s ready for us for Saturday.”
“Yup. Might as well get dinner on the way.” He went ahead and pushed his luck. “You owe me a drink, you know.”
Linc did an admirable job of not choking on his sandwich, instead looking thoughtful. Which was nice, him not looking spooked at the idea of something date-like. “So I do. Work it out with your mom for us to do the building and pickup, and get back to me so we can work out the specifics.”
“Will do.” To anyone listening, it was just two guys agreeing to do a nice deed, maybe with a side of some beer and food because that was only practical. Not a date, even if Jacob did have every intention of leaving his truck at Linc’s as another practicality—one that made hooking up that much easier. But while there wasn’t anything romantic about this conversation, little sunbeams of hope still danced around his gut, giddy and restless all at once, already counting down to the weekend. And maybe all that would come of this would be a new swing set for the kids and some hot sex on the down low for him, but it was more than he would have hoped for, even a week ago. It would be enough. It would have to, because wanting anything more would be a lesson in futility.
* * *
“The rook’s getting better,” Garrick said as he handed Linc a box with a drill, some spare batteries, a few wrenches and assorted bits. The late Friday afternoon sun winked at them, promising a sunny weekend, one he was apparently spending building a play structure with Jacob.
“He’s not doing too bad.” Linc put the box in the cab of his truck. He’d stick it in his garage when he met Jacob back at his place for their trek to Bend to pick up the parts for the play structure. He owned plenty of tools himself, but everyone seemed eager to take an interest in this project of Jacob’s from Garrick arranging for the discount to Sims producing a large plastic steering wheel to add to the fort and some little curtains for the windows.
“His last several landings have been way better,” Ray added as he brought over a bucket of sand toys for the digging pit part of the structure. He’d said his kids had contributed the toys, but they looked suspiciously new. “And he kept his head during the controlled burn. Now he’s just got to pass the pack-out test.”
“He will.” Laughing, Jacob came over to them, his truck parked not that far from Linc’s. His hair was still damp from a shower in the locker room, and he’d changed shirts. Not like dress clothes, but still he looked nicer than a trip to the home improvement store warranted in a blue shirt with buttons. “You guys don’t have to sound so surprised that I’m not flaming out of training.”
“Now, don’t go getting a big head.” Ray clapped him on the shoulder. “You’re doing okay, but you still gotta put in the work.”
“I know.” Jacob didn’t roll his eyes, but his tone said he was tempted. “We’ve got more jumps next week. Bring it on.”
“That’s the spirit.” Garrick added his own light punch to Jacob’s arm. “I’m heading out. See you guys Monday. Bring pictures of the swing-set thing.”
“Will do.” Jacob answered first. Linc was still trying to wrap his head around their whole social network conspiring to ensure that he and Jacob spent much of the weekend together. And sure, most of it was going to be either in public or under the watchful eye of Jacob’s family, but Linc still found it surreal.
And for all he told himself that this wasn’t a big deal, it kind of was, deliberate plans that had nothing to do with sex. Sharing dinner simply because they wanted to and not as prelude to getting all tangled up on Linc’s couch as they already had twice that week.
After saying goodbye to the guys, he drove home, trying to quiet the thrum in his veins when he saw Jacob already there, waiting for him. He helped Linc see to the dogs before they headed back to the truck. Part of Linc was disappointed that Jacob hadn’t tried for a quickie back at the house, what with his spiffy shirt and smelling extra good all of a sudden thing, but they did need to pick up the parts, so he restrained himself from being the one to nail Jacob to the mudroom door. Again. God.
“I’m already hungry. Here’s to hoping we can be fast at the store.” Jacob stretched, more of that new shampoo of his filling the truck, as Linc headed for the rural highway that led south to Bend, heart of shopping and such in central Oregon. “Do you want me to suggest a place for dinner? I know a few places where you’re not likely to run into anyone you know and where two guys sharing a meal isn’t a big deal.”
“This isn’t a date,” Linc protested, even though it sort of was, and he knew it.
“I didn’t say it was. I was thinking of your comfort at being seen with me.” Jacob sighed like Linc was insufferable and maybe he was. “And when was the last time you were on a date anyway? Maybe you’ve forgotten how they work.”
“I’ve...” Linc started to protest, then paused. He honestly wasn’t sure. Some double dates with Wyatt back in his twenties, painful setups with fresh-faced girls who deserved better. But on his own? It had been a while. “If we’re defining date as sharing a meal at a restaurant knowing sex is probably on the table after, then yeah, I’ve had a few of those. Probably fewer than you and not as much around here, but when I was bumping around from crew to crew, it wasn’t an unheard-of situation.”
“Well, I’m a sure thing for later, and you know it. And we’re sharing a meal out. So...”
Linc groaned because Jacob had him. “Fine. It’s a date. Happy?”
“Ecstatic.” Jacob sounded exactly the opposite.
“And I’m not a total country bumpkin over here. I know the sort of inclusive places you mean, and shocker, I actually know people who eat there. I’m not expecting us to stay anonymous no matter where we eat.”
“You’re not?”
“No. I’m not ashamed to be seen with you or something. Guys at work heard us make plans to go out to eat after getting the parts. It’s not a big deal.” Maybe if he said that enough, he might believe it. “Pick a place you like with red meat on the menu and decent portions, and I’m fine.”
“Good.” Jacob’s tone was far more pleased now. “You know, I’ve always been curious why you don’t just come out. Wyatt’s homophobic high school squad notwithstanding, you mainly have open-minded friends, some of whom already know. You’re not cringing at the idea of strangers maybe thinking you’re on a date. You’ve had same-sex encounters prior to this...”
Hills rolling by, Linc let a few more miles tick away before he answered. “You’re way more into labels than me. I don’t see it as being closeted, not anymore. My dad...he was a bastard.”
“I know.” Jacob sounded all willing to be his champion again, making warmth bloom in Linc’s chest.
“Anyway, he made Wyatt and his crowd look downright tolerant. I didn’t want any part of him knowing, not when I was still bailing out his messes. But now...it’s complicated. And I’m not sure it would make any difference. Not like I’ve got someone at home.”
“True. Not like you’re in a relationship where it might matter.” With a wounded sigh, Jacob slumped in the seat.
Linc hadn’t meant to hurt Jacob, and a heaviness settled over his shoulders. Not wanting to make it worse, he let Jacob stew as they started to approach more clumps of houses on the outskirts of Bend.
Finally, he couldn’t stand the weighted silence anymore. “Out or not, it doesn’t change things between us.”
“I get that, thanks.”
“Fuck.” Linc was mucking it up, exactly as he’d feared. “Listen, even if I was staying, even if we didn’t work together, it would still be...”
“Complicated. Your favorite word. Yeah. I know. Because you want to be noble or some such shit. And you made some promise to Wyatt a million years ago for God knows what reason.”
Linc’s fists tightened on the steering wheel. “It’s not just the promise. Arguing over you almost tanked twenty plus years of friendship. He accused me of ‘turning’ you. More than once. If we were...a thing, a public thing, he wouldn’t be the only one to think like that. I’m older. Too much older. People—your family—might start to wonder...”
That earned him an actual eye roll as he pulled into the store parking lot, Jacob huffing like he was running a hill. “And they’d be beyond stupid. Ten years is nothing. I’ve got a friend in Vegas with a leather Daddy more than twenty years older than him, and they are stupid in love.”
“Good for them.” Linc’s jaw ached from clenching his teeth. He parked the truck but made no move to get out. “And say what you want about your family—I think you’re wrong—but the fact remains that Wyatt saved my life. Maybe I didn’t keep my word to him, and that’s on me, but I still owe it to him and all the rest of them to do right by you. Keep you safe.”
He didn’t simply mean safe at work either. Safe from saddling himself with someone like Linc long-term, a guy who was too much older despite Jacob’s protests otherwise, who couldn’t manage to keep a promise to his best friend, a guy who had itchy feet, needing to outrun his past. And yeah, carrying on like this, it wasn’t necessarily the smartest way to meet that goal, and it continued to weigh heavily on him, knowing he was risking a lot for both of them.
“Fuck.” Jacob let out a tortured sound, head thumping back against the seat. “This isn’t how I wanted tonight to go. Because I get it—you’re leaving, we work together now, and you’ve got your own reasons, even if I don’t like them. I don’t want to fight.”
“Then let’s not.” Linc reached across the console, squeezed his knee. “I know this is fucked up. And crazy. And ill-advised. We’ve established all that. Us fighting isn’t going to change that, but there’s also no reason why we can’t enjoy the night like you wanted.”
“Okay.” Shifting, Jacob laid his hand over Linc’s, keeping him in place. “But you really owe me that beer now.”
“You’re on.” Linc forced himself to smile. He got it, putting up with him was no picnic, and Jacob was understandably frustrated. Honestly, he was probably only a couple of weeks or so from deciding Linc was more trouble than he was worth, this thing burning out, just as he’d predicted. His shoulders knotted up, but his gut knew it was true. And rather than fall to pieces over it, the best thing was to simply make the most of the time they did have. “Now, let’s go pick a kick-ass play structure for the kids.”
The play structures were set up outside the store, so they wandered about, considering the variations and optional add-ons. Linc was more concerned with the number of pieces and the types of connectors, but Jacob, large kid that he was, was more into the “cool” factor—pirate flags, twisty slides, climbing nets and weird-shaped teeter-totters. He was cute, and despite their earlier heavy talk, Linc found himself enjoying watching him inspect each setup. They settled on a deluxe model with a little picnic table by the digging pit, a bucket swing for baby Willow and a real roof on the fort part that made it more like a tiny house. And a pirate flag, which was totally worth the price of making Jacob smile.
“You guys must be the best uncles ever. Or...dads?” The young sales associate tossed her long silvery hair like either option was the same to her. And maybe it was. Not everyone was as accepting as Jacob wanted, but the truth was that the world was changing and plenty were. Unbidden, an image crept into his brain of the perfect clearing for a play structure behind his house, near the dog run and vegetable garden, visible from the kitchen window. The picture was so bright and crisp that he had to blink several times to get it gone.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to offend.” Finishing ringing them up, the salesclerk reminded him that he hadn’t answered her inquiry.
“You didn’t.” Linc drew in a deep breath, trying to keep that vision of a future that wasn’t to be away. “And he’s the uncle. I’m just...”
“The other uncle.” Making an exasperated noise like Linc was overcomplicating things again, Jacob pocketed his wallet. He’d refused the idea of letting Linc pay, saying he’d already worked it out with his mom. “Now, let’s load up.”
That took some work, all the boxes and timber, but finally they were back in the cab of the truck, Jacob messing around on his phone.
“Feed me,” he demanded, setting the phone where Linc could see the GPS. “This place is newer, but fabulous reviews. And all the pictures look like giant portions. You’ll be happy.”
I’m with you. That’s a given. Linc bit back the cheesy reply. “Sure. Sounds good.”
It was weird, all the smiling and sentimental thoughts he had around Jacob. Felt bubbly, like some forgotten vintage of happiness. And he couldn’t remember when he’d last been this happy. Before Wyatt’s death for sure. All winter, he’d been sure he’d never laugh like this, and yet here he was, ribs and loaded mashed potatoes, laughing as Jacob did impressions of various blowhards at work.
The brewpub Jacob had picked was packed—Friday night, not quite to the summer tourist season yet, but enough hungry locals and out-of-towners to fill every table of the renovated brick building downtown. Mixed crowd—families, twentysomethings in groups, adults clearly on dates and more than one table with two men or two women. The busyness gave them a sort of privacy that he liked, made it possible to smile at Jacob however much he wanted, steal some of his fries and not have to worry about standing out.
I could get used to this. Even more insidious than his thoughts earlier, this one snuck its tentacles into soft, fleshy spots he’d forgotten he had. And for the first time, he’d found something worse than the misery of the last few months—hope. Hope that maybe he didn’t have to hurt so damn much all the time. But hope when he should know better was fucking dangerous. Even so, he couldn’t stop his smile, couldn’t make this stop feeling so damn good. So damn right. And so very, very wrong.
Chapter Twelve
Even the sun beating down on Jacob’s back wasn’t enough to cut into his good mood. Wiping the sweat from his forehead with the edge of his T-shirt, he accepted an ice water from Junior, who’d come out with May to check on their progress.
“Is it done yet?” Junior was apparently oblivious to the stacks of timber and packets of screws still littering the side yard.
“Nope. Soon.” Jacob patted his head. “Thanks for the water, kiddo.”
“I wanna help,” Junior demanded, apparently in no hurry to get back to the house.
“Let the big people work,” May said, voice weary. She’d probably been preaching patience to Junior all morning.
“It’s okay.” Linc held out a hand for the kid. “You want to leave him out here? He’s big enough to sort screws for me, hold some boards.”
“Really?” May’s eyes brightened, the same way Jacob’s sisters’ always did at the prospect of some kid-free time.
“Sure. I’ll watch him too,” Jacob offered.
“That would be great. Junior, you be good for your uncles.” Step lighter, May headed back to the house.
Jacob was supposed to be shingling the clubhouse portion of the structure, but he kept getting distracted by watching Linc with Junior, the patience he displayed as Junior’s arms wobbled holding a cross-brace for him.
“That’s it. Great job. Soon this’ll be the monkey bars.” Voice encouraging, Linc worked quickly with the wrench. “You’ll get to test everything out.”
“Before Brayden and the other cousins?” Junior’s eyes went wide as he forgot again to keep holding on, but Linc didn’t get mad, just steadied the board himself and went on with his work.
“Yup. You’ll be first.”
A few minutes later, sorting piles of screws, Junior looked up with a pleased smile. “We make a good team, huh? Don’t we, guys?”
“Yeah, we do.” Jacob’s throat was strangely tight. But he’d had the same thought himself several times already that day. Like on the job when Linc wasn’t freaked out, they worked well together, no awkward power struggles or bumping into each other, rather each of them doing what was necessary, often without needing to talk it out. Linc was great at instinctively figuring out what Jacob wanted next, and Jacob liked to think he wasn’t half-bad at that either. Despite the hard work and often obtuse directions, they hadn’t argued at all. And now, they’d incorporated Junior into their tasks, easy as if the three of them did things together every weekend. “Thanks, buddy.”
Easy was the last word he’d ever thought he’d be able to apply to Lincoln Reid, but it simply fit the past twenty-four hours. After their contentious talk in the truck on the way to Bend, they’d settled into some sort of truce, where they didn’t talk about the future. Instead, no matter whether it was a date or not, they’d had a truly pleasant dinner followed by a dessert of sex, Linc seeming way more driven than usual, keeping Jacob in his bed until sleeping over was only practical.
