Say It's Forever, page 7
Trent grunted. “Know it. Still feels like a dream. Never thought I’d get so lucky. Speaking of…there’s a reason Gage is here with me today. We have news.”
He tipped his gaze down to Gage who beamed up at him.
My chest stretched tight.
Was hard witnessing something so perfect.
“You want to tell ’em, buddy?” Trent urged.
The whole room lit up with the force of Gage’s smile, and he started jumping on his toes, all that caramel hair bouncing around his face. “We’re gonna ask Miss Murphy if she wants to get married!”
Excitement poured from his mouth. Almost as fierce as the hope and worry that blazed from Trent’s spirit.
I saw it roil in his eyes. Old wounds that would never let him go fighting against the truth that he deserved happiness. Dude would give it all for us. It was about damned time he got it in return.
“We even got rings and everything and Miss Murphy is gonna be the happiest in the whole wide world. All the way to the highest mountain.” He stretched his arms over his head. “And that’s where we’re gonna love her forever and ever. Right, Dad, right?”
“That’s right, buddy, that’s what we’re hoping.”
“Hoping?” My brow arched. “That girl’s mad for you, brother. You don’t have a thing to worry about.”
“Jud’s spot on,” Logan said, slouched back in the chair. “Eden is amazing. You two might be opposites, but you’re perfect for each other.”
Gage squeezed his dad’s hand tight, belief stretched across his face.
“Dad, see, you don’t got nothin’ to worry about. She loves us.” His little voice twisted in emphasis.
Adoration came riding out with Trent’s. “I know it, buddy. Sometimes it’s just hard for me to realize it.”
“Realize it, already, sheesh.”
On a chuckle, Trent blew some of the tension from between his lips, and he glanced between me and Logan. “I want to do it on the last day of school this Friday. As soon as school lets out. Figure one ending can be our new beginning. Was hoping to set up a surprise. Have everyone we care about there to witness it.”
“I’m there,” I promised.
“Like you could keep me away,” Logan added.
Trent grinned down at his kid. Joy lit against the darkest places in his being.
I felt it spark, too.
Satisfied in the truth that my older brother was happy.
That this family was finally safe.
That we’d truly left the crimes and misdeeds and corruption in the past.
My attention drifted out the bank of windows that sectioned off my office from the rest of the shop, landing on the sedan sitting on the car lift on the opposite side.
Something shifted through me.
The draw.
The attraction.
The fire.
The force of that woman hit me like an avalanche.
A rumble knocking me from my feet.
Black-fuckin’-magic.
Needed to ignore it.
But then I figured it was some kinda cosmic shit when my phone beeped in my pocket at the exact same time, and it was a text from Darius with Salem’s phone number.
A grin slid to my mouth.
And I was pretty sure that grin made me a damned fool.
SIX
SALEM
“What are you giggling about over there, Juni Bee?” Drying my hands, I leaned against the kitchen archway and looked at my daughter who was propped on her knees in front of the living room window, her hands plastered to the glass.
She giggled more and pressed her face to the pane.
Amusement rippled through me as I moved that way so I could peer out into the night at what she was staring at across the street.
Or rather, who.
Little Gage was in the exact same position, blowing his lips against the glass and making his cheeks puff out.
The lights were on in both the rooms, and the two of them were lit up in their own personal fishbowls.
Juni howled with laughter. “Mommy, look! My new best friend is the funniest in the whole world, and did you knows he even likes the stars, too?” Her voice lifted in excitement. “He said he’s gots the whole solar system hanging in his room.”
She looked back at me with her blue eyes wide with delight. “Even Mars!”
“Even Mars? No way.”
“Yes, ways!”
Soft laughter slipped from my mouth, and I moved to stand behind her, brushing my fingers through the long tresses of her black hair that was still damp from her bath. Gage waved like mad when he saw me.
Another laugh slipped free, and I waved back.
A grunt sounded from behind us. I glanced back to find Darius standing at the end of the hall. “What’s going on in here?”
“Apparently, our Juni here found a new way to tell her best friend goodnight.”
“Like this, Uncle D!” She leaned up higher and copied the blowing that Gage had been doing, but she didn’t get her mouth fully on the glass, so she just ended up spluttering air and slobbering all over the window.
It only made her laugh harder.
Darius grunted again. “Still think you and Juni should take my room. More privacy that way.”
I smiled back at him. “She clearly doesn’t mind.”
“Nope, not at all. Not one little bits.”
His head shook, all that overprotectiveness pouring out. A frown took to my brow, my heart hurting that he felt this way. Fear and sorrow the thief of his joy. The thief of belief.
“They’re harmless, Darius.” My voice was a whispered plea.
He moved to the front door. He paused with his hand on the knob, contemplating before he swiveled to look at me. “Thought we didn’t trust anyone?”
Sadness bound my spirit. “Maybe it’s time we did.”
Dread tightened his expression. “Trying so hard to give you a life, Salem. A real life. One where none of us have to be afraid.”
A wistful smile pulled to my mouth. “Is it wrong it’s finally starting to feel that way?”
His lips thinned as he contemplated. “No,” he finally said.
Juni grabbed her favorite doll and pressed it to the window, the same as Gage was pressing a teddy bear to his. Darius watched her, his love pouring out. He returned his gaze to me. “I’m going to Carly’s. Just…be careful, okay?”
“I am.”
I’d been careful for years. I’d basically perfected it.
Darius slipped out the door and into the night, and I leaned down and kissed my daughter on the top of the head. “Come on, Juni Bee, you need to finish getting ready for bed.”
“Oh, man, do I have to? Looks it right there. Gage still wants to play, and Molly is finallys getting to say hi to him.” She held her doll out to me like she was a person.
Light laughter tumbled from my mouth, though I kept my voice firm. “Tell her to tell him goodnight.”
She poked out her bottom lip. She turned her sad face to Gage. He pouted right back.
The two of them were wrapped up in their own little language, so sweet, especially when he drew a little heart on the window.
It panged in mine.
Juni giggled and blushed and brought her shoulders up to her cheeks. “I loves him the mostest, Mommy!”
“It looks like he loves you, too.”
I sent a wave to the little boy then shut the curtains. Cutting off her view was the only thing that finally coaxed Juni to her feet.
We moved into the short hall where the second bathroom was across from Mimi’s room. We could hear her snoring from behind her door.
Juni scrunched up her nose and held her laughter, her words a secreted whisper, “Mimi is a snorin’ up a morin’.”
“A morin’, huh?” I quirked a brow.
Juniper nodded with a blink. “The worst kind.”
I touched her chin. Affection pulsed at my chest.
Powerful.
Unending.
A gift that’d made it out of the ash.
My one purpose.
“It’s time for you to get to snorin’,” I told her.
“Oh, fine, okay,” she grumbled.
She went to the sink and brushed her teeth, and then she was running back for the living room. “Story times!”
She dove onto the makeshift bed we’d made on the floor, and I climbed down beside her as she grabbed the book we’d been reading together, the first in The Boxcar Children. Sitting on the mat, I pulled her onto my lap where she sat facing out. Her little heartbeats thumped against my chest as I went to the page we had marked.
I began to read.
Soft and slow.
Changing my voice the way Juni demanded I do.
She rocked her head back to look up at me, those eyes full of their belief. “I’d live in a boxcar with you and goes on every adventure you wants to take, Mommy, but I likes it here the best.”
My spirit squeezed in sorrow.
Each time we’d moved from one place to another, I’d amped it up, told her we were going on a great adventure, and tried to make it seem as if it were exciting rather than a horrible reality of our lives.
I leaned down and pressed my lips to her forehead. Inhaled her sweet scent. The truth that the last four years of our lives had affected her in a way that I doubted I could fully understand. Prohibited her from planting roots. From feeling stable and safe.
I whispered at her skin, “I like it here best, too, Juni Bee, so much.”
“But we’ll be just fine just as long as we’re togethers, right? Wherever we go?”
“Wherever we go,” I promised.
A playful grin stole over her lips. “Even Antarctica?”
I tickled her. “Even Antarctica.”
She squealed and laughed, and I nuzzled my face into her cheek. Loved and made a million silent promises.
Wherever we go.
Wherever we go.
Resolution pulsed through my chest. I was determined it would never again come to that.
I would never let paranoia take me over.
I would never again frantically pack the empty suitcase that now sat against the wall.
We’d never again drive away in the middle of the night from a place that had barely become home.
Twenty minutes later, Juniper was sound asleep, and she had her cheek pressed to her pillow and her black hair was spread around her precious, cherub face. I’d dimmed the lights so she could sleep, and night danced and played across the walls as I brushed my fingers through her hair.
Softly.
Methodically.
Quietly giving her the peace that we’d lacked.
Praying it would stand.
That we no longer had to be afraid.
A frown took hold when my phone vibrated from where I’d left it on the couch. Precisely three people had my number.
Mimi, Darius, and now Eden.
I dipped in and pressed a gentle kiss to Juni’s temple before I stood, my eyes narrowing as I picked up my phone and read the words that had come through on a text.
Strike that.
Four.
Unknown: I have good news and I have bad news, darlin’.
My heart fluttered in my chest. Way too light and excited when I saw the words, though I read them like I was hearing the deep scrape of his voice. Kind of the way I changed the tone for Juni when I read to her. But the really reckless part of me didn’t want this story to end quite so innocently.
Crawling onto the couch and crisscrossing my legs, I tapped out a message.
Me: Who is this?
I pressed send. Of course, I knew who it was. Don’t judge a girl for playing coy. I didn’t know how he’d bribed Darius for my number, but I was sure this bad boy had his ways.
Jud: What, you don’t recognize me? Your knight in shining armor?
I was gnawing at my lip and fighting a grin when I typed out a response.
Me: Except he doesn’t ride in on a horse and he’s dressed all in black?
Jud: That’d be him.
Me: I don’t know about knight…he seemed awful…dangerous.
Why I was playing this game, I didn’t know. All I knew was my heart felt like it was on an unexpected joyride as my fingers flew across the screen. Hungry for his response.
Jud: You have no idea.
Shivers raced across my skin. I should take them as a warning. Not as a slow slide of need that slipped like silk into my bloodstream. I forced myself to get it together before I let this go in a direction I couldn’t let it.
Me: How bad is it?
Jud: Timing belt. There was some engine damage.
Shit. I glanced at Juni where she slept. Worry fisted in my chest. I went back to my phone.
Me: And the good news?
I wondered if he could hear the sarcasm in my question. If he could feel the edge of hysteria that infiltrated my consciousness. Because I was pretty sure there wasn’t anything good about this news.
Jud: Didn’t take out the engine block so it saves the big bucks. And you’ve got me.
I warred, not knowing how to respond, how to tell him I basically had nothing. That even if it was saving the big bucks, I had no bucks.
The only thing currently in my wallet was a hundred-dollar bill I’d gotten for a ring that should have been worth at least a thousand. One I had no intention of going back to claim because I was set on saving to buy a bike with training wheels for my daughter.
A little voice called in the back of my head, Make good choices.
My attention was back on my daughter. How was that not her? Besides, there was no way that hundred bucks would make a dent in covering the car.
I guessed I’d been stewing for too long because another message buzzed through, and I wondered if he’d been contemplating, too, because I could feel the shift. The change in his tenor.
Jud: I have you, Salem.
My ribs clamped around my aching heart.
Okay, this didn’t feel so careful. The way this man made me want to slip out from behind the walls I’d built. Where it was fortified and guarded and safe.
Knowing I couldn’t go there, I forced myself to respond.
Me: I’m not your responsibility.
Jud: Isn’t that what friends are for?
My brow curled.
Me: Is that what we are? Friends?
Jud: If that’s the only way you’ll have me.
Me: You don’t even know me. And who said I was going to have you?
There I went, digging myself in. Deeper and deeper. But I didn’t know how to stop the attraction that pulled and begged.
He wasn’t even here, and my heart was beating out of time. A frenzy lighting in my veins, hands shaking as I sat there waiting for his next message to come through.
Jud: See, there’s this thing where strangers who meet get to know each other…
I rolled my eyes and fought an affected laugh, caught up in the tease that pinged in his text.
Me: Is that so?
Jud: Uh-huh. Was thinking you and I might do a bit of that.
Giddiness swept through my being. Lifting high then sweeping low. A beat of exhilaration before I had to come back down to reality.
Me: I don’t think that’s a good idea, Jud. My brother works for you.
And this man didn’t want my mess, and I couldn’t afford to form any attachments. Couldn’t afford to care.
My heart clutched in dread.
What if we had to pack up and leave again?
My gaze was back on my sleeping Juni Bee. On her precious, precious form.
Agony slayed me at the thought.
Yes, I wanted to stay. Prayed we could. But I needed to do it one step at a time.
On top of that? Jud didn’t know the first thing about me. Didn’t know my responsibilities. My greatest, most beautiful obligation.
Nor did he know my deepest, darkest pain.
Jud: That’s right. Your brother works for me.
I felt the ferocity in his tone. The fact he didn’t give a crap. This man took what he wanted, and he made no apologies.
And there I was, the fool who wanted to tell him I wanted it, too. To explore this attraction. An attraction so intense it couldn’t be faked.
But I couldn’t.
I couldn’t.
I forced myself to type out a reasonable response.
Me: I don’t have the money to fix my car right now. I’ll see if Darius can have it towed back to the house.
He must have felt my blow off because it took him a minute to respond.
Jud: Already told you, I have you. Already ordered the parts.
Crap. I needed to argue. Tell him it wasn’t his duty. Stop this from going any farther than it already had. Still, a bout of worry climbed through my mind, digging holes in my refusal.
While I didn’t want to be in debt to him, I needed a car.
Me: I can’t believe I’m saying this, but okay. I really need a car. I will find a way to pay you back.
Jud: Not necessary.
I warred with what I wanted to say before I let my fingers fly free.
Me: Thank you, Jud, for being my savior.
My wicked, gorgeous savior.
Jud: My pleasure, darlin’.
I could almost see his smirk from across the space. That intimidating, hulking body standing in his kitchen. Barefooted and bare chested.
My breath hitched.
The memory inundating. The way it felt beneath that decadent stare. So sexy, he’d made my knees weak.
