Say It's Forever, page 27
Like she felt me staring, which I most definitely was doing, she turned to look at me. This woman who was making me forget every single thing I knew about myself.
I slipped my palm along the contour of her jaw, tipped it up, murmured, “Beautiful. Meaning of it. Every part. This face and this body and this heart.”
“Jud.” My name was affection. A question. Confusion.
“I’m right here, darlin’,” I promised her.
“I see that.” Then she narrowed those eyes at me. “I thought it was my decision what happened in the morning?”
There was a lilting tease that infiltrated her voice.
“Well, see, gorgeous, I felt some kind of uncertainty on your part on how that was going to go down, so I thought I might nudge you in the right direction.”
Her brow arched. “Right direction?”
“One where the two of us meet.”
Reservations slithered across her skin, that gaze dimming with them, though I could feel the rest of her reaching for me. As if she could sink right in.
I hesitated, then asked, “What Juniper said earlier? About the adventures…”
I eyed her as I asked it, already knowing the answer. Moisture filled that gaze, and she blew out a heavy sigh as she nodded. “It’s what I started telling her when I’d rush to pack our things and we’d leave in the night…that we were going on an adventure.”
My thumb traced her lips, and I tried to keep it together, to rein the stampede that was going to trample my soul. “To keep her from being scared?”
She could barely nod.
“You’re amazing.”
She started to shake her head, to pull away, but I forced her to remain looking at me.
“Need you to promise me one thing.”
Her expression twisted in question. In the trust there was no doubt was hard for her to give.
“Next time you get scared? Next time you want to run? Promise me you’ll run to me.”
“I’m scared every single day, Jud.” Her confession was out on a pained breath.
I took her by both sides of the face. “I have you, Salem. I have you.”
I leaned in, intent on kissing the hell out of her, when the doorbell rang.
Salem pulled back to put three inches between us, though I couldn’t find it in me to let her free of my grip.
Juni raced to the window to peer out through the drape. “Oh, no, it’s your mom and dad, Gage.”
Juni cried it like it was the end of the world.
I couldn’t help but grin. “She is something, Salem. The cutest little thing.”
Tenderness ridged her lips, though her expression rippled with heartache. “I’m sorry if it hurts you, being around her,” she clarified.
My head shook, and I took her hand, kissed her knuckles. “No, baby, she’s a part of you.”
Fuck.
There I went.
Sinking in.
Deeper and deeper.
Salem froze for a beat before she seemed to shake herself out of it and stepped back far enough to break the connection. She glanced at me once as she turned then eased into the living room. I followed close behind.
Juni freed the lock and opened the door wide.
“Gage can’t goes yet, we aren’t done playing our game and he gots to stay and finish because Imma about to win. Girls rule, you know.” All of it had flooded from Juni’s mouth before anyone got the chance to say hello.
Soft affection breezed from Eden’s laughter, and she ran her hand over the top of Gage’s head as she stepped inside. “Oh, well, I’m sorry to interrupt. How about five more minutes, and then we need to get out of their hair.”
“Hair? You aren’t in our hair.” Juni squished up her nose.
So damned cute.
Eden looked our way. Kindness shined from her being.
“Eden, hi,” Salem whispered, going for her friend at the same time Eden moved her way. Eden wrapped her arms around her and hugged her tight.
Trent entered behind, uneasy as usual, eyes darting around like he was assessing for a threat. That unease was shifting into a disbelieving smirk when he saw me hovering in the kitchen like I had the right to be there.
“I was worried about you,” Eden whispered to Salem as she pulled back. “Are you okay?”
Salem angled her head. “Why don’t you and Trent come into the kitchen for a cup of coffee while we wait for the kids to finish?”
Four of us piled back into the kitchen while the kids went back to their game on the floor.
Salem grabbed two new cups, poured them, while I went to the refrigerator and pulled out the creamer I’d just placed in there.
Trent pitched me a glance, scratching at his temple in speculation.
I grunted at him in response.
Yeah. I was fucked. Already knew it. No need for him to rub it in.
“How is Tessa?” Salem whispered, keeping her voice low.
Distress passed through Eden’s expression while rage tweaked every muscle in Trent’s body.
“She was more upset than anything. Worried about you,” Eden added cautiously. “That’s why we both came. To see how you are. If there’s anything we can do?”
Anger spiraled through my being.
“I’m fine. I was just…caught off guard,” Salem said. “Tessa’s not hurt, though?”
“Someone else is about to be.” Trent rumbled that below his breath.
Eden pushed out a sigh. “No. Not physically. She is hurt. Hurt that Karl would pull something like that.”
“Prick.” Another low rumble from Trent.
“Asshole get picked up?” I asked, arms crossing over my chest like it could stop the injection of violence the thought of that fucker pumped into my veins.
“Yup,” Trent grunted.
In worry, Eden chewed at the inside of her lip.
“What is it?” Salem asked.
“Tessa bailed him out this morning.” Eden rushed it like a disappointed secret.
“The hell?” I spat.
Seriously, what the hell was that girl thinking? I didn’t know Tessa all that well, but I sure as fuck knew her well enough to know she deserved better than that pompous dick.
Eden glanced between us. “Between his manipulation and the pressure from her family, I think she feels stuck. Like she doesn’t have any other choice but to stay with him.”
I stepped forward. “I say we unstick her, then.”
Trent chuckled a dark sound. “Second that.”
Eden reached out and grabbed Trent by his forearm. “You will do nothing of the sort. Tessa will be leaving him. I’ll see to it. But not at the expense of either of you.”
She looked directly between the two of us.
Eden knew it all.
The dark. The dirty. The grim.
“Promise me,” she demanded.
Frustration huffed from Trent’s nose.
Was with him.
Sometimes it was so much easier to manage things when you weren’t living on the straight and narrow.
Trent edged around behind Eden, wrapped his arm around her waist, and whispered at the shell of her ear, “Fine. I promise, Kitten.”
The look Eden gave me was hard. “No more blood, Jud.”
Razors filled my throat as that demon screamed.
All mixed with the promise I’d made myself that night.
I will never kill again.
Salem touched my arm.
So softly.
So right.
I gave Eden a tight nod. “I promise.”
A commotion broke out in the other room, and Gage and Juni came bounding our way.
The two of them burst through the archway, nothing but giggles and smiles as they fought to get in front of the other. “We finished ours game and Gage won, he saids it was fair and square, but I’m not so sure, but Mimi said it was a sneaks attack!”
“Boom, bang, kapow.” Gage did one of his wrestling moves with an adorable kick, then he went beelining for his dad. He grabbed him by the hand. He started to jump when he asked, “Dad, it’s Sunday, and you know what that means. You’re gonna teach me to ride my bike without any of the training wheels because I’m so big and ready now, right, Dad, right?”
“It is Sunday, isn’t it? Seems like that must be the plan.” Tenderness coated the ferocity that was Trent when he looked down at his son.
Squealing, Juni moved to stand in front of her mother. She threaded her fingers together in a prayer. “Mommy, do we gots enough monies that we can get my bike today so I can learns to ride with Gage? I want to learn so bad, right now.”
“Juni—” Salem hesitated.
I looked at Salem with a plea of my own, cutting off whatever reason she was going to give that it couldn’t happen right then. I took the woman’s hand in mine.
Overcome.
Unable to stop it.
Blasphemy.
This magic I couldn’t resist.
Let me come alongside you.
A war filled her expression, a line denting her forehead, her eyes full of fear and building belief.
But I saw her yielding.
When her heart gave me the go to say whatever it was I was going to say.
I turned to Juni. “Just so happens your mom said that’s what she’d planned for today, and I thought maybe we should go pick it up in my truck.”
“Really?” she squealed.
“Yup.”
“Can it be pink likes my flowers?”
A low chuckle rippled out, and my fingers were brushing through her hair.
Emotion crested.
Rising high.
Higher than every reservation.
Devotion.
Loyalty.
Affection.
“What other color would there be?”
She grabbed my hand and started to haul me toward the door.
I looked back.
Trent was staring over at me, smug look filling his face.
I had to admit he was right. We never had any idea when life was going to sweep in and shake us up.
“Mimi, we’re goin’ to get a pinks bike and then we’ll be rights back,” she said as she blazed through the living room, dragging me along.
Mimi grinned at me. “I approve of this plan.”
When we stepped outside, Trent, Eden, and Gage started in the direction of their house.
“Meet us out here in two hours?” I told Trent.
He slapped me on the shoulder as he passed. “Yeah, man, yeah, we’ll be here.”
I jutted my chin in parting, and Salem slipped out the door and snapped it shut behind her.
I turned when she did.
The breath hitched in my throat.
Fuck me.
Sweet enchantress.
She paused on the top step.
Held like me.
Watching where I’d stopped halfway down the walkway with her little girl’s hand in mine.
That energy pulsed.
Though this time, it was different.
Profound.
Dread and hope and dead dreams resurrected.
I saw them twist into a disorder.
While my insides sparked with something I shouldn’t feel.
I tightened my hold on her daughter.
Salem finally moved, and I stayed glued to the spot while she made her way down the sidewalk. When she got close enough, I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her snug.
I kissed her slow and gentle.
Juni giggled.
“You kissed my mommy. Nows she’s your girlfriend.”
I looked down at the little thing whose grin was so wide it curled up her entire face.
“That so?”
“Yes. It’s the rules. Gage tolds me so.”
The hint of a smile tugged at the corners of Salem’s lush mouth, and I splayed my hand wide at the small of her back. “Well, then I guess if it’s the rules.”
I winked at my girl.
“You’re ridiculous,” Salem whispered back.
“I’ve been called worse.”
Juni tugged at my hand. “Come on, we gotta go rights now.”
I followed Salem to the little SUV sitting in the drive.
One I’d called in and finalized the purchase of Friday because I sure as shit wasn’t going to put her back in her pile of a car. I just hadn’t told her yet.
She grabbed Juni’s booster, and I situated it in the backseat of my truck.
Under the arms, I lifted Juni, letting her soar through the air before I tucked her into the seat.
She laughed and giggled and twisted me up in every single one of her little fingers. “Thank you, Motorcycle Man.”
I touched her nose. “You’re welcome, Juni Bee.”
Shutting her door, I moved to help Salem step up into the high cab, then I jogged around to climb in on my side. I started the engine and began to pull from the curb, though I stopped when I saw the black truck slow as it approached from the opposite direction.
Salem tensed, and Darius glared as he passed, that barely constrained rage burning in his eyes.
“Crap,” she mumbled when he disappeared behind us.
I reached out and squeezed Salem’s hand. “Baby, it doesn’t matter what he thinks. It’s you and me now, and he’s gonna have to get used to it.”
TWENTY-SEVEN
SALEM
“Are you sure you don’t want to put these on?” Nervously, I held up the training wheels that had come with Juniper’s pink bike. “I think we might want to start there since your bike is brand new,” I encouraged.
It was futile.
Juni had already shot the idea down about five million times since we’d returned, and Jud had spread a work blanket out on the driveway and gotten straight to work.
He chuckled low.
Dark and deep and sweet.
“Worrier.” He grinned up at me.
“Obviously.” I was happy to take the title. It’s what I did.
Juni had of course picked the frilliest bike there was at the store. Pink with flower accents and ribbons coming off the handlebars.
From where she was kneeling next to Jud on a work blanket helping, Juni looked up at me like I was clueless. “Um, Mommy, doncha know I’m alreadys so big and I has to go fast so I can keep up with my best friend? Otherwise, he’s gonna leave me rights in the dust.”
Doncha already know? Jud mouthed it from behind her as he worked a ratchet to place a screw.
My stomach tilted.
Apparently, I knew nothing.
I was clueless.
Foolish.
Reckless.
Letting myself get absolutely swept away by this bearded, mountain of a man. He fought a grin where he knelt in front of the bike with a wrench in his hand, almost finished piecing it together.
He had a tool bag that he’d pulled from the back of his truck, and he continually rummaged through it to find what he needed, the man focused and intent and still patient, answering the gazillion questions Juni lobbed at him as he worked.
So gorgeous in his jeans and tee. The material stretching over the lines and planes of his back. The muscles in his arms flexing as he cranked and screwed, and damn…
I had to bite my lip when he glanced up at me again. In an instant, a smirk took to his face.
Crap. He totally knew I was enjoying the show.
Sure, I’d seen him working over plenty of bikes at the shop.
But this? This was different.
It was personal.
Intimate.
As if he were building something from the rubble.
Breathing it back to life.
With it? I didn’t know how to stand there without letting my mind wander to the places I shouldn’t let it.
Into a fantasy where this was normal.
Where it was right.
Where I didn’t have the urge to look over my shoulder to make sure it was safe.
That my daughter could play outside without an ounce of fear.
Where loving this man wouldn’t put him in danger.
It was that hope that bloomed and blossomed and became something terrifying.
Because forever whispered in my ear.
Taunting me with what the rational side of myself knew I could never keep but I wanted, anyway.
For him to touch me the way he had last night.
Ruin me.
Keep me.
This man who’d wormed his way in so thoroughly, I could literally feel his heart beating through my being, as if he’d become the blood in my veins.
This fierce, hard, intimidating man who was so incredibly sweet.
One who was broken and carried a guilt so dark and ugly I could almost physically feel the outline of the scars on his spirit.
And I wanted to heal it—heal it the way he was healing me. Like Mimi had said, the scars and the vacancies would never fully fill, but there was someone out there who could help hold them so they didn’t hurt quite so bad.
Jud eyed me like he’d felt the crash of reservations as he angled up to secure the basket on the handlebars. “You good, darlin’?”
“Yep.”
A smirk slanted at the edge of his mouth.
So sexy.
My stomach twisted.
“Huh, you look like you’re itching to take a run.” He said it like a tease, though there was no missing the current that ran through it. “And here I would have thought you’d have had plenty of exercise last night.”
“Nope, still plenty of energy,” I tossed out, popping up on my toes.
“Good thing,” he grated, so low, the words a promise that slicked across my flesh.
Shivers flashed.
He chuckled a dark sound.
Damn him.
He knew exactly what he was doing to me.
“And why’s that?” I cocked my head, mock innocence in my voice. “Did you have something in mind?”
Yeah, I should probably keep my mouth shut.
Balancing the bike upright, he reached over and tipped up my chin. “Sweet Enchantress…but now you’re not playin’ so sweet.”
“I like sweets, you wants some cookies?” Juni piped in, scrambling to her feet.
Jud laughed and dipped in and kissed my temple. “We’ll revisit this later, baby.”
He turned to Juni. “How about we save the cookies for later and we take this thing for a spin first?”
