A young man who just wants to play baseball in the major leagues ends up going to some questionable extremes to get his wish. A humorous look at baseball, vampires, and the Evil Empire (the New York Yankees) in a future where scouts will sign just about anybody – human or otherwise – if they can hit and play ball. (Complete novella. Last half contains promo bonus material for other books.)

Decorated Legion war hero Captain Joey Czerinski and his platoon go to planet New Colorado’s New Gobi Desert to guard the demilitarized zone dividing human-occupied territory from areas claimed by the Arthropodan Empire. With a new alien spider commander, a human boy rising to lead a militia, and McDonald's, Walmart, and Chupacabra added to the mix, the funny bone gets smacked hard.

In this sixteenth installment of the perpetually preposterous military science fiction series, Colonel Joey R. Czerinski has his hands full when the Legion's own world-famous science fiction writer, Private Knight, gets some psycho backup from new recruit Private Randal Telk. Things are never going to be the same for the United States Galactic Foreign Legion or planet New Colorado. As construction of the new Galactic Disney theme park nears completion in New Colorado's New Gobi Desert, suspicion escalates between humans and spiders. On opening day, the Legion employs more than fairy dust and magical mice to provide security, mounting missiles and machine guns as backup in the 'Escape from Spider Mountain' ride. The Legion's goal is to keep the peace - but, as humans and spiders alike realize, peace is a relative concept. A former legionnaire baseball star returns for an exhibition game, upsetting Colonel Joey Czerinski's plan to hedge his bet. Joey Junior, a chip off the old Czerinski block, joins the Legion, while Mom goes back to her terrorist ways. Meanwhile, Private Telk and his infamous 396 steps to sexual bliss add a whole new dimension to the term 'psychosis' as the way-out, off-the-wall wackiness continues.

Satirical military space opera, #1 of 11-book series. Compulsive gambler Joey Czerinski must escape Old Earth fast to elude the bad-ass loan shark gunning for him. Desperate, he borrows funds from a shady Foreign Legion ATM, then gets shipped across space to fight a spider-like alien species. But one lucky roll of the dice could put him back in the game - if he can manage to stay alive!