Blushing Maid, page 9
I looked down at her pussy for the first time, and I marveled at the shape of it – her delicate lips, like the petals of a flower, her clit nestled beneath a fold of skin. She was glistening with wetness, and I could smell a deep, musky, intoxicating scent drifting up from her. Slowly, I parted my lips, and I lowered my mouth to her pussy.
She tasted so good. That was what caught me off-guard. I had always assumed, judging from the reactions of the guys in the stories that my friends told me, that people did this because they thought they were meant to, not because they actually got any pleasure from treating their partner like this. But as soon as I tasted her for the first time, I knew that I had formed an addiction. She wriggled on the spot, and I planted my spare hand flat on her belly to keep her in place as I continued to play with myself.
I explored her with my tongue, learning the curves of her, the creases – going from the small bean of her clitoris down to the slim entrance to her pussy, tasting the wetness that dripped from inside of her. And to think, I was the one who had put her in this state. She was wet because of me. The thought of it thrilled me, completely and utterly. I loved the idea that I had put her in this state, made her so helpless with lust that she could barely take another second of it.
I knew that I had a lot to learn about what I was doing down here between her legs, so I just decided to try and mimic her actions of me the day before with as much accuracy as I could manage. She had focused a lot of time on my clit, I remembered, so I softened my tongue and coaxed it from beneath the fold of skin it was hidden under. I was getting closer myself, even though I was somewhat distracted by the task at hand here. I listened to the noises she made, focused on the sound of her breath and the way it seemed to grow more and more tense with every passing moment. I was determined to make her come. If I had been one thing in my life, it was an overachiever, and I wasn’t going to let this opportunity to prove myself slip past just that easily...
I felt her thighs beginning to tighten around my head, and I could tell that she was nearing the edge. I continued what I was doing, keeping the pace steady, hoping that it would be enough. I didn’t know whether I was meant to go faster or harder or something, but if I...
"Fuck!” She cried out, the burst of sound exploding out of her mouth and crashing around the room all at once. I felt her pussy spasm beneath my tongue, and moments later I found my own release, the pleasure washing through me in slow waves of relief. I couldn’t believe I had done it. I could feel her belly rising and falling rapidly beneath my hand, and I felt so proud of myself – I had been the one to do that. I had been the one to make her feel that way. Did that mean I won? I felt like it did...
She reached down, tucked her hands beneath my arms, and guided me back on top of her. I giggled as I landed, burying my face into her generous chest. I felt so giddy, happier than I could remember feeling in years.
"You sure that was your first time?” She asked, catching her breath. I kissed her again, tracing my fingers over the tiger-stripe stretchmarks on her belly. They looked so pretty, the light violet shade like swatches of paint against her pale skin.
"Certain," I replied. She grinned.
"In that case, I don’t think we’ve got a whole lot of training to put you through," she replied. I cocked an eyebrow at her.
"You had training in mind for me?”
"Well, mostly just showing you the ropes," she replied teasingly. "But I can see that you’re already catching on pretty well."
"Glad to hear that I’m taking care of you," I answered, and I flopped sideways on to the bed. Glancing over, I remembered that I had brought up some breakfast.
Even though the toast would be cold now, I reached for a slice of it.
I had been too nervous to think about eating anything substantial before, but now, I was freaking ravenous.
Chapter 12
Mine and yours
"Mmm," I sighed, reclining back on the bed and closing my eyes. There was something so very special about these days that we spent together, when Rick was out of town and the whole world felt as though it had slipped onto the back seat to wait for us.
We were in my bed, curled up around one another, still naked from our last fuck-session. An empty bottle of fancy wine sat on my bedside table, and I smiled looking at it. Before, she’d said that she’d never felt as though she’d had a reason to celebrate, but now she seemed to have found one. And I knew exactly how she felt.
"How long till Rick gets back?" I asked her, running my hand lightly up her leg. Sometimes, it still came as a surprise to me that I was just allowed to touch her like this, whenever I wanted. Her body belonged to me, just the same way mine belonged to her.
"A couple of days," she replied with a yawn. She didn’t bother putting on make-up when she was around me, and I liked her best when she was bare-faced, as though I was getting to see a side of her that nobody else did. And, well, if I was being honest, I just liked her bare, too.
"He’s been away a lot recently," I remarked. "You think he...?”
I trailed off. Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to finish up what I had to say. I felt like bringing the real world into this, in the form of Rick, was just going to end badly.
It had been a couple of weeks since we had consummated our relationship, and ever since then, I had been stealing as much time with her as I possibly could. I just loved being around her – not only because the sex was so damn hot, but because purely being in her presence made my head feel like it was spinning. We had to keep things low-key, of course, to make sure nobody caught on to what was happening here between us, but that was half the fun. Those stolen kisses, the glances laced with so much meaning, the secret smiles that I knew were meant just for me...they made me feel alive in a way I hadn’t before.
I had noticed that Rick had been spending a little more time away from the place than normal, as though he was trying to give us space. Though that would, of course, have implied that he had some idea as to what was happening between us, and I didn’t know if he had put that many pieces together. If he had, that would have implied that he had a reason to lean in that direction, which might have meant...well, maybe, that she had done stuff like this before.
I hadn’t asked her about her sexual history, not yet. It never seemed like the time. Why focus on the past or the future when we had the present right here in front of us? But I figured that, some way or another, it was all going to have to come out. If this was going to go any further than what we had right here, then we needed to talk about what had come before.
"You mind if I ask you something?” I began, nervous as hell, hoping that my voice wasn’t wavering too much. She glanced up at me from where she had been laying on the pillow.
"Of course not," she replied, looking up at me curiously. "What is it? You know you can ask me anything..."
"I was wondering," I began, forcing the words out of my mouth. "Have you ever...I mean, you’ve been with women before me, haven’t you?”
"Yeah, I have," she replied at once. She didn’t elaborate. I was going to have to delve in, I guessed.
"Before you were with Rick, right?” I asked. "And you never...you never found anyone you wanted to stick it out with?”
She shook her head and sighed.
"It wasn’t like that, not really," she admitted. "It was just...the place I was at in my life, I wasn’t going to drag someone else in there, too."
"What do you mean?”
"When you come from a family like mine, coming out of the closet isn’t really something you can do," she explained. "Like, ever."
"And those other women you were with," I began, even though the very thought of that made my heart ache a little.
"They were in the same place as me, yeah," she finished up. "None of us really knew what it would have meant for us to come out, and nobody wanted to be the only to make the jump and find out that the landing wasn’t as soft as we had hoped, you know?”
"So you married Rick to keep it under wraps?” I wondered aloud. She nodded.
"I guess everyone kind of knew the stuff that I was up to by then," she confessed. "Rumours travel, you know, even if they didn’t have any confirmation of any of it. I think he saw a chance to get with someone who wasn’t going to tie him down because he knew I had...other interests."
"Did the two of you ever actually have a conversation about this..."?”
"No," she snorted. "I’m not even sure how I would get into that. Hey, husband, by the way, I’m gay as fuck and I don’t want to go anywhere near your dick...”
"But that’s how things turned out anyway, yeah?”
"I mean, for all intents and purposes, yes," she agreed with a sigh. "I was never the most...sexually adventurous person with him. And I guess he put the pieces together. When he suggested that we open up the relationship, I couldn’t have been happier about it, really. I just wanted him to be able to go out there and have what he wanted, and I could hide out here."
"In this relationship?”
"In this relationship," she agreed. "And trust me, this isn’t how I pictured my life, not at all. I thought I could have...well, I thought I could have everything I wanted. You always do when you’re growing up, right? You think you could have it all..."
She gazed off into space and her face was written with such sadness that it made my heart ache. I wanted to make it better for her, but I had no clue how I was meant to go about doing that. All I had was how I felt for her, and knowing that it wasn’t going to change.
"And what about you?” She asked, turning her attention to me, blinking away the melancholy that had been taking her hostage the last few minutes.
"What about me?” I asked, confused. She grinned.
"I mean, have you ever been with a woman before you met me?” She asked. I shook my head at once.
"Never in my life," I replied. "You know that. You must have guessed, I mean, I had no idea what I was doing down there the first time we..."
"You were better at it than you gave yourself credit for," she assured me with a chuckle. "Really. Like you’d been waiting your whole life to get down there already."
"I guess I had been," I agreed with a smile. "It’s been...I mean, I was always just with guys my whole life. And it wasn’t that I hated it and it made me want to die or anything, it just...did nothing for me. Like, when my friends would talk about how amazing it was with their boyfriends, I would sort of nod and smile along because I knew I wasn’t meant to let them realize that I had no idea what they were talking about, you know?”
"I get that," she agreed. "It was the same for me, back in the day, before I came out to myself."
"Came out?” I repeated after her. Even though I knew that was just the term for what happened when you decided to slide out of hiding, it was still odd to hear it applied to my situation.
"Yeah, came out," she replied. "Not to anyone else, of course, just to me. It’s a big moment, I think, when you accept that about yourself. Took me a while. I’d been with a few women, but none of it had ever really felt solid to me, I guess because I knew that it wouldn’t be long until it all got swept away again. But eventually...eventually I had to just face up to it. I’m gay. I’m really fucking gay. And I don’t want to be anything else."
She fell silent for a moment, but this time she was smiling, and I could see how happy saying that sentiment out loud made her.
In truth, I still didn’t know how I was meant to relate to it.
Was I gay?
I had no idea. I mean, when I looked at her, I felt things that I had never felt before in my life, not for anyone I had ever met. But maybe that was just...her? Nothing to do with her being a woman? But if she was the only person I felt this way about, and she was a woman, then that would seem to indicate...
"Hey, hey, Billie," she murmured, grabbing my hand. "You know you don’t have to come up with an answer for everything just yet. You don’t have to come up with one at all. It’s just what works for you, alright? You’re the only person that you’ve got to answer to on all of this..."
"I’m not even sure I have answers for any of it, though," I confessed, blurting the words out before I could stop them. "I feel like I should."
"You don’t have to," she promised me earnestly. "You just need to take this slow and figure out what you want. I mean, we spent our entire lives surrounded by straightness, right? All the stories we hear, they’re about straight people, most of us are raised by straight people. It’s odd to think that perhaps we could differ from that rule. You need time to come to terms with it, and there’s nothing to be ashamed about there."
I closed my eyes for a moment. When it came out of her mouth, it seemed to make so much fucking sense. I wished I could find that kind of clarity inside my own head.
I opened my eyes again, another thought crossing my mind – something I hadn’t asked her yet, but that I needed the answer to.
"What about Rick?" I wondered aloud.
"What about him?” She replied, shaking her head
"I mean, does he know about us?” I asked. Her face dropped, and it was clear that she had been hoping that I wasn’t going to hit her with that particular question.
She looked down at her hands, picked at a loose thread on the covers. The corners of her mouth were turned down, and I knew I had said the wrong thing. But why should it be wrong between us? When Rick could bring the women he was hooking up with to this place and march them around like they belonged here. She deserved the same thing. We deserved the same thing. Or maybe that’s just what I was telling myself because the thought of constantly having to stay hidden out in this stung too much.
"I don’t know," she finally admitted, her voice quiet. "He’s a smart guy, but he’s been away a lot lately...I wonder if he’s doing it because he knows that something’s going on."
"Or maybe he’s just away for work," I remarked, and she nodded.
"I honestly have no fucking clue," she confessed. "But I suppose he deserves to know. At some point. This is his house, after all..."
"Yours, too," I reminded her, and she squeezed my hand and corrected me.
"Ours," she replied. "Mine and yours. For now, at least."
Chapter 13
Come clean
"Billie? I need to talk to you."
I practically jumped out of my skin when I heard Rick calling for me. The tone in his voice was harsh and hard, and I was already sure I knew what this was going to be about. It had only been a matter of time since he actually just came out and said it, I supposed, but that didn’t mean I was in any major rush to get to this point...
"What about?" I asked, playing dumb as I turned to face him in the middle of the entrance hall. "I was just going to grab some groceries, if you don’t mind waiting a few minutes..."
"It has to be now," he replied, and he glanced around. "While Alana’s out of the house."
I chewed my lip. Alana had headed out for a massage earlier in the day – she had offered to bring me with her, but I had declined, preferring to stay home and take care of things here. No matter how deeply we were involved, I was still meant to be working here, and I wasn’t going to toss away this job just for some quick backrub. Besides, I knew that Rick had been paying more and more attention to the time that Alana and I had been spending together, and I wasn’t quite ready to have him figure out the ins and outs of the relationship yet. Or, you know, ever. Never would work for me too.
"Okay," I replied, and he gestured through to his office. Maybe this was just going to be a regular boss telling-off? Honestly, I would have preferred that. But I knew I had been keeping on top of everything that I was meant to be doing, so there was no reason for him to go for my throat.
He closed the door behind me and took a seat at his desk, gesturing for me to sit down opposite him. I did as I was told and clasped my hands in my lap, feeling like a schoolgirl who had just been busted smoking cigarettes around the back of the bleachers.
"There’s something I need to ask you, Billie, and I really need you to be honest with me," he told me sternly. I chewed my lip. There was only one way this could be going, the last way on earth I wanted it to.
"Yes?” I squeaked. Jesus, even my voice sounded guilty, betraying me already. He leaned forward, clasping his hands in front of me and eyeing me intently. Was this how it felt for the people he was trying to get to sign deals with his business? I certainly felt like I was in the midst of being interrogated, and I didn’t like it one little bit.
"Are you and Alana having an affair?”
There it was.
The last question that I’d wanted to hear come out of his mouth.
My brain shot into overdrive at once as I tried to figure out what the hell I was going to do. If only she was here, she could have helped me navigate this mess – would she want me to come out and just tell him the truth about what had been happening with us? She had seemed nervous when I had asked about him not knowing before, but that didn’t mean that she wanted to hide it forever. And Rick was my boss, the man who paid my salary – if I lied to him and he found out about it, there could be serious trouble. Maybe he already knew and he was just giving me the chance to come clean? Checking where my loyalties truly lay?
My brain raced as I tried to make sense of what I was meant to do in this situation, but I managed to settle it down. My mother had always told me that the best thing to do when I was in doubt was to run with the truth. Even if the person in front of me didn’t like it, then at least they couldn’t throw back my falsehoods when they found out. I took a deep breath, gathering all the bravery that I could muster, and then I nodded.
"Yes, we are."
There was a long beat of silence that followed my sentence, and I stared at him, wondering what the hell I was meant to do now. Did I apologize? Tell him that I was going to call it off at once? Because I knew that was never going to happen. I couldn’t end things with her, not when it felt as though they were just getting started. When I thought of her, my entire body felt like it was coming to life, and I wasn’t going to throw that all away for the sake of pleasing the man sitting before me. I would quit this job before I quit her, and I-
