Blushing Maid, page 11
"Is that...?”
"Come here and I’ll show you how it works," she patted the bed next to her, raising her eyebrows at me. I made my way over to join her, touching the object she had in her hand. We had talked about using toys before, but it wasn’t like either of us happened to have any on hand so I had assumed it would just stay as a pipe dream. But this one...this one looked pretty fucking impressive, I had to admit.
She touched my cheek to draw me around to face her, and kissed me softly on the mouth, and I forgot about everything but her for a moment. It always went this way, when she kissed me; I had trouble focusing on anything else. The building could have been falling down around me and I wouldn’t have given much of a damn. I ran my hand up her thigh, beneath the hem of the light summer dress that she had slipped into for our work. I loved these kinds of outfits on her, the fabric flimsy as it clung to her skin, just begging to be ripped off her. They almost made her seem more naked than if she was actually undressed, if that was possible. She let out a soft moan as she parted my lips with her tongue and deepened the kiss, and I moved my hand further up her soft thigh.
It was strange, thinking about how far I had come when it came to making love to her. When this had first started, I had been constantly nervous that I was doing something wrong. She’d had to guide me a lot of the time, explaining what she liked and what she didn’t, what I could do to her to make her cum and what was just going to tickle. But what had struck me most profoundly was how different it was to having sex with men. When it came to that, there were rules in place, rigid systems to attend to in order to pass the actual sex boundary. But with her, it felt as though anything was on the table. And I couldn’t get enough of it.
I drew her down onto the bed beside me, kissing her properly, my hands running beneath her dress and pulling it up over her hips. I moved my fingers between her thighs and found that she wasn’t wearing any underwear – the thought of her, playing innocent on that walk, when in reality she was hiding a filthy secret beneath her dress sent a flood of desire through me, and I shivered with anticipation.
"Oh..." she gasped as my fingers found her clit, and I began to massage her, just slowly, just gently – I wanted to tease her to the point where she couldn’t take any more. That was the version of her I adored the most in bed, the one that was helpless to resist me. I wanted to feel wanted by her more than anything in the world.
She was already slick with wetness for me, and I dipped my fingers down into her slit to feel her; she reached down and grabbed my hand, drawing my fingers up to her mouth, tracing her tongue around them and sucking her own taste from my fingertips. I bit my lip to keep from moaning with desire. Rick was trying to work downstairs, and the thought of him catching us like this...no, it was too much to bear. Yet, anyway.
"I want to feel you inside me," she breathed in my ear, and I moved my fingers down to take care of her request for her. But she smiled and shook her head.
"Not like that," she continued, and she reached for the toy that she had brought into our bedroom.
"Like this," she explained, and I grinned at her.
"You’re going to have to show me how to use it..."
"Take off your clothes," she ordered. "And spread your legs for me..."
When she took charge, I swear it was like she had me under some hypnotic spell. I hadn’t got it in me to resist her, even if I’d wanted to. I undressed myself swiftly and lay back on the bed, surprised at how comfortable I felt stark naked in front of her; sure, she had seen me like this a hundred times already, but when she looked at me, it felt like she was burning the insecurity right out of me. I knew she saw someone beautiful when she looked upon me, and maybe, just maybe, I could start believing that about myself, too.
"Here, push your hips back a little," she murmured, and she ran her fingers over my thighs and guided me upwards, so that my hips were raised from the bed. She leaned down and, for a split, second, planted a kiss on my clit – her mouth was warm and I let out a cry, not caring who heard us.
Grabbing the toy, she guided it between my legs, and pressed the very tip of it to my slit. I was already so wet that it slipped inside me easily – it was a strange feeling at first, given that I hadn’t been penetrated in so long before this moment, but I was surprised by how good it felt. I had assumed that anything dick-related just wasn’t going to do anything for me now that I was with a woman, but knowing that she was on the other end of this toy made all the difference. It spread me open, long and slender, filling me up, and I gasped at the sensation of it.
"How does it feel?" She asked me, her eyes burning intently into mine as she waited for an answer. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to find the words - I knew I had them in here somewhere, but I was distracted by watching her fuck me.
"It feels...good," I finally managed to reply. It felt like such a useless word compared to what I was really feeling, the incredible rush of sensation it was sending through my body, but it was the best I could come up with. I pushed myself up and she took the cue, moving down so that she could kiss me, her tongue in my mouth, her cock in my pussy. That was how it felt, anyway, her taking me like this – using me, making me belong to her. As though I could ever have belonged to anyone else in the world...
"Hold still for a moment," she breathed into my ear, and I stilled, having not even noticed that I was grinding up against the toy to get it deeper and deeper inside of me. She cupped the back of my head with one hand and used the other to grasp the protruding end of the toy, spreading her legs so that she could guide it all the way inside of her. I watched, unable to take my eyes off the sight of it disappearing into her pussy. She closed her eyes and tipped her head back, and I pressed my face to her neck, kissing her bare skin, inhaling the scent of her perfume. She was inside me and I was inside her and I couldn’t think of anything hotter in the entire world than that.
She moved down on top of me, driving the toy deeper into my pussy, and I flexed my hips and pushed it back into her. She kissed me again, and this time I lost myself to it, to the way it made me feel. She was so strong, so gorgeous, so powerful – so utterly and completely mine. I wrapped my arms around her and lifted my hips a little further, guiding her in even deeper. I wanted to feel every inch of this thing inside of me.
"Move with me," she panted, and I ran my hands down her sides to feel the motion of her hips, and I matched them. She groaned and kissed my shoulder, running her hands over my breasts, squeezing them like she was hanging on for dear life. The roughness would have hurt any other way, but like this, it seemed to translate as pleasure inside my head. She could have done anything to me at that moment and it would have felt good, I knew that for sure...
"I love it when you fuck me," she gasped in my ear, and the words sent a shock through my system. She knew what she was doing to me, speaking to me like that, knew that I couldn’t hold myself back when she talked dirty.
"I love you inside me," I panted back, and I could feel myself getting closer, closer, my body closing in on the release that she had been planning for me all day long...
And then she said it.
"I love you," Alana murmured into my ear. And with that, I knew that everything between us had changed. Maybe beyond the point that we could bring it back to reality.
Chapter 16
Are you ready for this?
Okay. Okay, okay, okay. I can do this. I can do this.
I stood there, trying to convince myself that I was ready for what the next few minutes had to bring me, but in truth, I knew that I wasn’t equipped. I hated walking into a situation without knowing how it was going to turn out for me, and this… this mattered. This mattered so much. If I fucked this up, I knew that I was never going to be able to forgive myself. So, you know. No pressure.
After Alana had confessed her love for me while we had been making love a few days ago, we had been avoiding one another. I think she was just trying to make the transition back to reality a little easier on both of us. But being apart from her wasn’t making it any easier for me. I just needed to talk to her, to know if what she had said to me was real or if she wanted to take it back.
I had already told her that I was in love with her. She knew that I felt that way for her, and I was glad that she did; I had never been the best at expressing how I felt, and I was proud, at least, that I wouldn’t be walking away from all of this a liar. I needed her to know the truth about how I felt about her, no matter what came from it.
But did she feel the same way about me?
We’d had a great time together, there was no doubt about that. She made me happy, made me feel safe, comfortable, wanted. I craved her attention and her company whenever I could get it. I had even come out and told the man I was working for that I was having an affair with his wife, even though it could have landed me in serious trouble, because the alternative was staying hidden and I wasn’t up for that. I couldn’t be. Not when I knew how I felt about her, not when looking at her made my heart feel like it was on fire.
And it was more than just her now, I could see that. Because when she had told me that she loved me, I felt it, too. It wasn’t about the fact that I was crushing on one woman – it was that I was gay and that I always had been. I had just been too scared to face up to it for all these years. I still didn’t know what it was going to mean for the rest of my life, to just come out of the closet after spending so long tucked up in there all warm and cozy, but I would figure it out.
The question that remained, of course, was whether she was going to come out without me. Whether I would be introducing people to my new girlfriend when I told them that I was the farthest thing from straight. I wanted to, of course – the thought of being able to show her off on my arm and tell people that yes, this incredible woman had chosen me to be the one she spent her life with, filled me with excitement.
And so, I went looking for her, a week before I was due to get out of there for good. I was ready for this, as ready as I would ever be. And yes, I would have been lying if I said I wasn’t nervous as hell, too, but that was fine. I wouldn’t have expected anything different from the very first time I stood in front of someone and told them that I was a lesbian.
She was hanging out on the porch, drinking a glass of the fancy juice that we got from the store across the street from the villa. We regularly made trips together, escaping out to that place for the fun of it, getting to play house with one another even though I think we both knew it couldn’t last. My heart twisted in my chest at that thought again – I knew it was the truth, that this had a time-limit on it and always had, but I still had to tell her. I would never be able to look myself in the eye again if I didn’t tell her.
"Alana, do you have a minute?” I asked, my voice sounding as though it came from another person entirely. She glanced over her shoulder and smiled at me, the look on her face all but eclipsing the sun beyond us.
"Of course I do," she replied, and I slowly made my way out onto the porch to join her. The sea was quiet and still beyond us, a complete oxymoron to what was going on inside my head right then. I settled into the seat beside her, and she reached out lazily and wrapped her fingers around mine. God, even just a little touch like that...it was enough to set off alarm bells in my head.
"Alana," I spoke her name again – it only felt right that it was with her name that I started this conversation, given that all this had begun with her. She looked over at me.
"Yes?"
"I’m gay," I replied. It was the first time that I had said the words aloud to anyone, and they came as something of a shock, even to me. I couldn’t believe I had just come out and said it like that. I caught my breath, and smiled to myself. Alright, yes, okay. Maybe this...maybe I could do this. If I had said it once, I could say it a million times more. I could already picture telling everyone I knew about this, coming out to whoever would listen to me. Hey, mom? I’m gay. Best friend from college? I’m gay. Random stranger in the street? I'm gay. Gay, gay, gay.
She gazed at me for a moment, and a smile spread across her face.
"You have no idea how glad I am to hear you say that," she told me, and I smiled back at her. She glanced out over the sea, hesitating for a moment before she continued speaking.
"And you know what?" She replied. "I am, too."
I knew what a huge moment this was for her, and I squeezed her hand tight. She didn’t need to say another word to me. The fact that she had finally said it – that she had finally come out of the closet – and that she had done it for me was everything I had ever needed from her, truly. If that wasn’t a declaration of love, I had no idea what was. She closed her eyes and smiled, as though she had been waiting to get that off her chest for as long as she could remember.
"And I love you," she continued, the words falling from her helplessly now, like she didn’t have it in her to stop. "I love you so much, Billie."
"I love you, too," I replied, and I meant it. The blazing passion in her eyes was reflected inside of me, too. I had never felt this way about anyone before, and there was no way that I was just going to let that slide away.
We sat there for a moment, letting the reality of what we had just shared with one another sink in, and then she looked over at me and pressed her lips together. I knew just what she was thinking.
"So...what do we do now?” She wondered aloud. I shook my head and sighed.
"I don’t know," I admitted. "I don’t...I know that I want to be with you, I really, really do. But I know that we can’t just hide out here for the rest of our lives and hope that nobody looks too closely at the fact that you’ve been employing me for years for no good reason. It would just be...odd."
"Not to mention the fact that it’s getting stranger and stranger for me to be paying your paycheck given what we do every night," she replied, cocking an eyebrow. I sighed – she had a point, much as I didn’t want to admit it.
"I know, I know," I conceded. "And we don’t have long left until we have to go back to the real world."
"I don’t know if I’m ready for that yet," she admitted, and the way she looked at me broke my heart. I knew just how she felt. The thought of walking out of this place, out of this bubble where we could be together, just didn’t feel right.
"So what do we do?” I asked softly, and she shook her head.
"If I could come up with an answer for you, I would tell you," she sighed. "I don’t want to keep you from your life, not when you’ve got so much going for you, with your studies and everything..."
"You’re not keeping me from anything," I assured her fiercely. "You are everything to me, Alana, you’ve got to know that. And besides, I could study anywhere in the world. I’d do it, if it meant I could be with you."
"I’m not sure that Rick would be too happy at the thought of me dumping him to finally come out of the closet properly," she pointed out. I shrugged.
"He didn’t seem bothered by the two of us being together," I reminded her. "Maybe we could make an… arrangement?”
"An arrangement?” She asked curiously, cocking her head at me with interest. "And pray tell what did you have in mind?”
"I could stay with you," I suggested. "Just for a little while longer. Even when you go back to the city, maybe we could figure something out."
"Like, you become my full-time maid or something?” She laughed. "That sounds a little intense..."
"No, but just think about it for a second," I urged her. "I could move in with you guys. You wouldn’t be paying me anymore, but anyone who asked, we would just tell them that I was there working for you. That way, Rick doesn’t have to worry about having his cover blown, and the two of us can figure out what it’s actually like to...you know, to be together. Properly. Not just when we’re all the way out here."
She gazed at me for a long moment, not saying a word. I thought she was going to shoot me down and tell me that I was crazy but, instead, a broad smile spread over her face.
"That sounds amazing," she replied, so happy it was as though her voice was about to bubble over with excitement. "You really mean it?"
"I could apply to study at one of the schools near you," I replied excitedly. "I could start work there, I could live with you guys, we could be together..."
"You have no idea how perfect that sounds to me," she breathed, and she reached out to touch my cheek. The pulse of excitement between us was heavy in the air, so strong I could have been certain that it was rippling the waves beyond us with every moment that passed.
"You really think you’re ready for this?" She asked, and I nodded.
"I really think I am," I replied firmly. I leaned over, and planted a kiss on her lips, not caring who saw – hoping, in fact, that the whole world did. Because I was with this woman and this woman was with me and there was nothing else in the world that mattered but that.
Chapter 17
First day of forever
"You ready for breakfast?” I called through to Alana, who was still half-asleep in bed when I left her there a few minutes before – she had always been more of a night owl than a morning person, but that didn’t mean that I wasn’t going to have a little fun teasing her awake when she would rather have been sleeping.
"Mmm," she replied, more of a groan, really, from the bedroom. I could practically picture her now, all snuggled up in the bed, wrapped tight in the covers and pretending that the world outside didn’t exist yet. We had a lot to get done that day and I wasn’t going to just let her spend it in bed, no matter how tempted she might have been by the thought of it.
"Get your fine ass out here," I told her. "Or I’ll come tip you out myself."
"Try me!” She replied. I grinned. That sounded dangerously close to a challenge, and she knew that I was always willing to take her up on one of those.
