"She's like a modern-day, southern-fried Erma Bombeck or Dave Barry." —BooklistIs the brand sticker still affixed to your sauté pan?Is your wok used solely as a receptacle for potato chips?Does your blender only see the light of day when Baccardi or Tequila is involved?If so, then welcome to the Kitchen Virgin Club. But don't despair—you're in the illustrious company of Susan Reinhardt: syndicated columnist, spokeswoman for skewed southern bellehood. . .and one truly lousy cook. In this cleaver-sharp new collection of food stories, culinary missteps, and recipes from yummy to yucky, Reinhardt comes clean—way clean—as the unapologetic product of a long line of talented, fascinating, funny women who have regular brushes with homicide by pot roast. From "The Toaster Oven is a Bee-otch" to "When Road Kill Makes it to Mikasa," as well as the titular tale of the socialite who shaved her fuzzy greens, these stranger-than-fiction...

The Southern Belle's answer to David Sedaris. —Karin Gillespie "She's like a modern-day, southern-fried Erma Bombeck or Dave Barry."—Booklist Aimed at anyone with a funny bone, these all new stories and essays by Gannett-syndicated columnist Susan Reinhardt tackle domestic life, particularly of the Southern persuasion, with sidesplitting observations and searing confessions. Reinhardt candidly lets readers into her world as she goes mano a mano with her Bubba of a husband—and occasionally her mother. From discovering she's getting a dreaded "front fanny" to revealing her husband's experiments with a Norelco shaver and their Pomeranian pooch, Reinhardt scrapes bare the bedrock truth about married life and love. She also poignantly shares her struggles with a depression that secretly plunged her downward and her reaction to the unexpected helping hands that pulled her up. Totally uncensored and blisteringly honest, Reinhardt is all heart—and...