The Unlucky Ones, page 5
“Your mu-tash tickles.” She giggled as he wiggled his graying scruff against her cheek. The stress of the job and the responsibility he must have felt for us showed on his lined face. He set Mia down and kissed her cheek.
“Can I watch something?” She peered up at me, using the same sweet “snake charmer” voice her mother had.
“Yes, but only until dinner. Then no more. Okay?”
She nodded, running over to the outdated TV, turning on the DVD faster than any kid her age should be able. We didn’t have cable, so she watched the same handful of kids’ DVDs over and over. She didn’t seem to mind.
The instant she was settled, I turned back to my uncle. “Where is Erin?” My hand went to my hip. “She didn’t call you at the station, did she?”
“Don’t be upset with her, Dev. She didn’t know what else to do. Her little boy came down with the flu. She was desperate.”
I exhaled sharply as I peered down at Mom, sleeping soundly. Her once youthful appearance had diminished severely in the last five years. Fully gray now, her face lined with deep creases, and with a frail frame, she looked far older than her fifty-two years, especially having Norwegian genes.
At first she tried to keep up her appearance, but gradually as the disease took more and more of her mind, things like getting her hair colored no longer mattered. I knew we were lucky we still had moments when she knew us and recognized Mia. But they were getting further and further apart.
“Thank you for coming. It was crazy at work.” I whirled around to the kitchen, getting a jug of lemonade out of the fridge.
“You never have to thank me. You are my family. I wish I could do more.”
“You do enough.” I poured two glasses, pushing one across the counter to him.
“No, I don’t. And I hate how much you take on. You should be in college with your friends. Having fun.”
“You mean my one friend.” I snorted, taking a drink, the cool, tart liquid sliding deliciously down my dry throat. After the horrible moment when I found out my boyfriend and former best friend were screwing each other’s brains out for over a month before he mistakenly sexted me, those “friendships” ended. They had stayed together the rest of the year, their gushy romance in my face every day. Sky told me they broke up soon after they got to college. Jasmine cheated on him with one of his frat brothers. No tears shed for either one.
The person I missed most was Skylar. Her dad got her a job with a local artist in Santa Fe, where she was loving life and “enjoying” the tortured-artist-type guy she now favored. We talked once a week, but it was mostly her telling me stories. Nothing new happened in this town, and it got depressing talking about my mother’s decline.
“She was really agitated and scared when I came in. She was screaming at Erin that she didn’t know who she was.” His throat bobbed and he stared at his glass, twisting it in circles on the table. “She didn’t know me at first. I had to give her a bit of her medicine in a small glass of water. She wouldn’t let us give her a pill, saying we were trying to poison her. So I was lucky she drank the water.”
I blinked back tears, my throat closing in.
“It might be time, Dev.”
“To put her in a home? Where she knows no one? No. I won’t do that. She still understands enough. I won’t leave her in some institution.” I swallowed. “Not yet.”
“She’s becoming too much to handle. You know it. Erin is not going to last long. She’s not trained to deal with what your mom is going through.”
He echoed what Dr. Matheson said at out last visit. “You know when I said there will be a time when her disease will progress past what I am capable of dealing with? The time has come, Devon.”
“Your mother wanders away every time you blink.” It was true. I’d spent several nights driving up and down the street when we found her bed empty. “She tried to steal the neighbor’s car last week.”
“A car with no engine,” I pointed out, as though that justified it.
We had found her in one of the neighbor’s parts car, thinking she was driving to the store. “The baby needs milk,” she had said.
“What baby?” I asked her.
“Devon,” she answered, and I had to choke back a sob. Her mind was always confusing memories with the present. Her knowledge of current events was almost gone now.
“Not the point, Devon.” Uncle Gavin tipped his head to the side, one hand on his hip, reminding me so much of my father. “It could have been your car or Amelia’s. She’s becoming a danger to herself and to the people in this town.” He waved his hand outside the window. “There will be a time where the safety of others will override your choice.”
I turned away and shoved the jug back in the fridge.
“At least think about it.” He softened his voice. “You know I want the best for her. I love you guys so much. But I am also sheriff, and I can’t turn a blind eye because we’re family.”
“I know.” I stared at the pictures decorating our fridge. Images of a better time layered the wall, when death and disease hadn’t touched our family yet. We wanted to surround Mom with familiar faces, even my dad’s. Somedays he was the only one she knew. Other days she asked when he was coming home, where he was every day, forgetting he was no longer with us.
“I’ll think about it.” I pressed my back into the handle, gazing at my uncle. “But not today.”
“Fair enough.” A sad smile ghosted his mouth. He strolled over to me, widening his arms for a hug. “I hate putting this on you, but your mother had a reason she put you in charge and not Amelia. I love your sister like nothing else, but I can’t stand how it all falls on you.” He patted my back and stepped back. He would never outright say Amelia was selfish and overindulged, but we all knew it. Even she knew it. But if she didn’t have to be responsible, she was okay with it.
“Thank you again for coming by.”
“Yeah, of course.” He adjusted his gun belt, but didn’t move, clearing his throat.
“Is there something else?”
“No, not really.” He glanced down at his black boots.
“What?” He seemed to be fighting back telling me something.
“Nothing.” He swished his hand. “A case file came across my desk the other day, and it had me thinking about the time when that guy was arrested outside of the diner years ago? I’m sure you remember.”
My body flushed with heat. Did I remember? You mean the guy who flooded my fantasies every time I closed my eyes? The countless times in the bathtub I pretended his fingers touched me instead of my own? Five years later, I still thought of the criminal. No matter how much I tried to force other images into my head, he was always the one my body responded to, desperate to feel him again.
“Uh. Yeah. Sort of.” I grabbed the cool glass and turned away, hiding my pink cheeks.
Finn Montgomery.
I had learned his name later when I was called into the police station. Skylar found it so thrilling we had been so close to the sexy criminal, claiming it was the most exciting thing that had ever happened in this town. I wanted to run. I never told her what happened, wanting to forget my huge mistake. Thankfully, I never had to go to court, but we all had to pick him out of a lineup. It was the last time I saw him and his steel-blue eyes and full lips. I tried not to think about where his hands had been or how his mouth felt on my skin. But I could never forget the orgasm he gave me against the bathroom wall.
My uncle wanted to keep me mostly out of it, but I read Finn and his partner, who escaped, had robbed a hospital of drugs, probably to sell them on the street for triple the price, and held up the gift shop for cash at gunpoint. Though there were no prints on the gun, Finn had it on him at the time they caught him, which was enough to link him to the crime. My uncle always said possession of a weapon ticked up the sentence.
It was hard to accept the reality I had screwed a drug dealer in a bathroom. That wasn’t me. Besides the countless times his image had made me come since then, I really did try to forget all about him.
“What brought this up?” I kept my voice even, even though the mere mention of Finn’s name turned me into cellophane, and I was sure everyone would see what really happened between us.
“Oh.” Gavin shifted on his feet, his mouth opening then closing, as if he were waging an internal battle.
I stared over my shoulder at him.
“Seriously, it’s nothing.” He shook his head. “I recently got an update on him, and it had me thinking about how strange the case was. Still don’t understand what made him stop at the diner and why he stayed for so long. We didn’t find any drugs or weapons in there.”
Act normal, Devon. Do not react. Concentrating on keeping even breaths, I straightened Mia’s artwork and magazines scattered across the table. “Have no idea. Remember? I only saw him through the window.” I swallowed the ball of lies stuck in my throat.
I had heard the diner patrons informed the cops he had driven up, went to the back where the bathrooms were located, and stayed there for a good twenty minutes before returning outside, where he surrendered to the police. Because the gun and drugs were still in his backpack when they arrested him, the police were baffled to what he was doing in that period of time. I waited on pins and needles for weeks that Finn would give me up, confess to screwing some dark-haired freckled girl in the bathroom. By deduction, it would come back to me. But it never happened. My uncle’s station now had a running joke that Finn Montgomery decided to take the world’s most inconvenient shit.
“It’s just so odd. Looking into his history, he and his partner had been thieving for a long time. Never got caught. Nearly uncatchable. Ghosts. Not one print left behind, not one step out of place. It doesn’t make sense.”
“Strange.” I shrugged, moving to the sink, where I placed my dirty glass. Years of being a cop’s daughter had taught me to keep calm under pressure, to keep my breathing and heart rate steady.
“Yeah…” Gav shook his head. “Anyway, I better get back to the station. I’ll come by Sunday for brunch as usual.” He took a step toward the hallway. “Bye, Bitsóóké.”
“Bye, Shinálí.” Mia briefly looked up and waved back, then went right back to her movie. He gave me a last smile before disappearing around the corner. The door shut softly at his exit.
The moment he left, my heart pounded and I stared at the floor, feeling a delayed rush of guilt and fear. I didn’t like lying, especially to my uncle, but after five years, I hadn’t expected to revisit the topic of Finn Montgomery ever again.
My fingers curled around the sink, holding me up. My uncle saying his name out loud had only made him more real. Finn Montgomery was imprinted on my body. I couldn’t stop his image from dominating my mind and couldn’t forget the feel of him thrusting into me.
A ghost.
That was what he felt like. One who wouldn’t stop haunting me.
Chapter Six
“Mia, please eat your carrots.” I jabbed my finger at the tiny portion I set on her plate, sweat trailing down my already sticky skin from the heat of the kitchen.
“No!” She huffed, folding her arms and kicking her heels angrily into the chair legs. Most of the time she was the sweetest girl, but she was still a Thorpe. We were incredibly stubborn.
“Mia, please. Just one.”
“Nooooo!” She kicked harder into the chair.
“What is this?” My mom stabbed at a tiny piece of chicken nugget with a deep frown on her face. I had been so tired all I could muster was baking nuggets, fries, and canned carrots for all.
“It’s a chicken nugget, Mom. You’ve had them before.” I rubbed my temple, sliding the plate of carrots toward Mia. She shoved it back, turning her head away from me in an angry huff.
“I don’t want this.” Mom dropped her fork, her shoulders slouching like a pouting child.
Great. It was going to be one of those nights.
“Mom, you need to eat.” She would live off M&M’s if she could, but the last few times she snuck them, she ended up choking. Like an infant, we had to cut her food into tiny pieces. Most of the time I made her mashed potatoes and soft, finely diced chicken breasts, but tonight I was too exhausted.
“No.” She rammed the plate back, her forehead wrinkling. “You’re trying to poison me. I am no fool. You are trying to kill me.” She hissed. Then she stood and heaved the plate of nuggets at the fridge.
“Mom!” I watched the plate with the rest of Mia’s dinner crash into the refrigerator. The plastic platter clattered to the floor, the nuggets tumbling over the ground.
A blimp of shocked silence twisted in the room before Mia burst into scared wails, which only agitated my mother. She covered her ears, wailing even louder than Mia.
Sweeping Mia up in my arms, I rocked her on my hip, curling her head into my shoulder.
“Mom, stop.” I tried to keep my voice calm, but my nerves were raw and frail, feeling as if my chest was about to crack open.
Both continued to cry before exhaustion got a hold of my mother and she dropped back into the chair. Her chest heaved, and she stared around as if she had no idea where she was.
“Mia, shhh, sweetheart.” I bounced her in my arms, kissing her head. She quieted, peeking out toward her grandmother.
“W-what’s wrong with Enisi?” Mia sniffed in my ear. “What did I do?”
“Nothing, Bean. You did nothing. She gets confused, remember? We’ve talked about this before.”
Mia nodded, curling deeper into my neck, her body finally going lax.
“Okay, I think it’s early bed for everyone tonight.”
Normally, Mia would fight me, but she didn’t even twitch as I pointed us toward the room she shared with Amelia.
“Mom, do not move. I’m putting Mia to bed.” I touched her arm, readjusting my niece on my hip.
“Mia?” Mom’s head jerked up. In the present moment. “Oh barnebarn, good night.” Mom used her Norwegian nickname for “grandchild” and with her shaky hand touched Mia’s back.
Mia wiped away her salty tears. “Night, Enisi,” she said in a small voice, still unsure of her.
“Stay here,” I ordered Mom again before I went down the hall and got Mia into her PJs. Quick as I could, I brushed her teeth, read her a story, and turned on her star nightlight.
“Sweet dreams, Bean.” I kissed her head as she snuggled into her tiny bed, cuddling up with her many stuffed animals.
“Love you, Auntie Dev.”
“Love you more.” I shut the door behind me, my shoulders sagging with sorrow.
Thankfully Mom was still in her seat, her face streaked with tears, sobbing so hard she barely breathed.
“Mom.” I rushed to her side, crouching next to her. “Shhh…it’s okay.” It was getting harder and harder to pretend the good nights outweighed the bad.
“No.” She shook her head. “No—I—don...” She struggled with her thoughts, letting them drift off into space. I wrapped my arms around her, rocking her as I had Mia. Biting my lip to keep my heartache and anger back. How was this fair for her to go through after my father? Why did life always have to bring you to your knees, then kick you while you were down? It took everything I had not to lose it with her, but she depended on me to keep this family together and surviving.
After she calmed, I stood up, gripping her arm softly to get her attention. “You need to take your pills, Mom.”
She shook her head.
“Please.” My voice wobbled, the fight to not break into pieces, barely hanging on. “Do it for me.”
Her hazel eyes met mine, taking me in. For a second, she looked like my mother, not the shell of a person stolen by the disease. She blinked, and my familiar mom was gone, life shutting down in her eyes. She held out her hand silently as I placed the pills in her palm, downing them with water. Detached. Lifeless. Sometimes I hated this side of her more than when she was feral, scared, and wild. The robotic mannequin was the opposite of who she’d been in life, and it crushed me to see her like this.
She didn’t say a word or struggle when I got her in her pajamas. She curled up robotically on her bed as I laid the comforter over her.
“Night, Mom.” I kissed her temple.
Silence echoed my sentiment, but I no longer took it personally. My mother was no longer “home.”
I fell back against the door after I closed it, staring down the short hallway, where a dim light revealed the chipped paint and dingy rugs.
At twenty-two, I felt three times older. The weight was too much to bear today.
My chest heaved with a silent sob, and I could feel a million following behind it. Not wanting to wake anyone, I ran into the bathroom and started the bath water. Hiding my tears in a stream of water was not unusual for me. My bones craved more than a shower and decided because everyone was in bed early, I could still have bath night.
The instant I sank into the warm water, sobs wracked my body. The tears weren’t simply for me or my mother or our money woes, but for everything. I knew why Mia acted up and went to bed early every time Zak took her. She understood deep down he didn’t want her. She tried so hard to please him, and no matter how good or quiet she was…she never would.
I cried until I had nothing left.
My head tipped back onto the ledge, my lids shut, and I exhaled, letting everything go.
Sleep wrapped me up in its warm embrace and stole me away before I even realized it.
Chapter Seven
A loud wail rang through the air. My eyes bolted open, and my heart leaped into my throat. What the hell?
Confusion plucked me from a deep sleep and jogged my thoughts. The cold water in the bathtub splashed around me as I jerked in response. Awareness stabbed my chest like an adrenaline shot. I’d fallen asleep in the bathtub.
