A Constant Love: A Pride & Prejudice Continuation, page 38
“If you do not mind a very happy dinner companion, I will.”
“I think we would all very much like to have a happy dinner companion.”
He embraced her before he left the room, and Georgiana could not help but read the letter once more before attempting a little sleep.
+++
By the time Darcy had returned downstairs, the portrait painter, Mr. Thorpe, had arrived, and was studiously sketching Elizabeth’s features. The object of his sketch sat with her spine most rigid, attempting to keep herself still, something most difficult for someone usually so active as she.
“You were not stern, were you?” she asked, when her husband entered the drawing room, earning her a look of mild contempt from Mr. Thorpe.
“I was not stern,” he said. “I was very kind, although at least now I am aware of what you all think of me, that I am the most stern man on this earth.”
Elizabeth chuckled, and then looked guiltily at Mr. Thorpe, trying to rearrange her features into what they had been.
“I did, however, encourage her to think on what being married to a naval captain would entail,” he said. “The letter made her exceedingly happy, but I do not know that she has thought beyond it. They would be likely to spend much of their marriage apart, so long as the war continues. Although I should not skip ahead to marriage, not until he calls.”
Elizabeth had no doubt that he would call and make his offer, on the morrow. She had seen the expression on his face, and although she did not know the contents of the letter, she could guess at them, if they had made Georgiana so happy.
She thought back to her own brief separations, from Darcy, and how even these had been so difficult. He was right – she did not know how Georgiana could bear a far longer time apart from Captain Stanton. Elizabeth had not intended to fall in love with Darcy – indeed, she had put quite a lot of effort in to disliking him, for so much of their early acquaintance. Yet now she felt a new sort of relief and happiness that she had fallen in love with him, that she loved a man bound to his own estate, so that they might be together always.
Chapter 12
Georgiana awoke the following morning, and immediately looked over at the table beside her bed, to reassure herself that the letter was still there, that it was very much real, and then read it again, for the rush of happiness it still brought her. The course of the day would decide her fate, and she trembled at the thought of it. She would have to be the one to speak, at least at first; and although she had every expectation that anything she said should be well-received, still, she worried over how she might say it.
Her nervousness must have been apparent to all at the breakfast table; she could hardly eat, and what little attempt she did make was punctuated with a heavy clank, as she dropped her spoon, and later very nearly upset her glass of small beer. Everyone waited with her in the drawing room: it would not do for him to call and find her alone there; for propriety’s sake, the private audience must be known by the family to be requested, and then granted. For Georgiana, their presence was some comfort, but it did not prevent her from fidgeting, an act usually far from her nature, as she could not focus on embroidery or a book.
Mercifully, he called early, at the very beginning of the appropriate hour, and he did not look very well. Certainly, his injuries were part of the cause, but Georgiana realised that turning over the letter to Elizabeth, and needing to wait until now for a response, must have worn on him terribly; she put herself in his place and knew how difficult it must have been to bear.
“Good morning,” he said, removing his hat. “It seems we may have rain today.”
They all greeted him, and made what little remarks on the weather they could, so that pleasantries might be done, and he could move on to the purpose of his visit.
“Miss Darcy, I hope you are in better health today?” He looked at her so directly, and so earnestly, that she could not help but blush.
“I am, thank you.”
“I am very glad to hear it,” he said. “If it is not too much trouble, I would like to request a private audience with you.”
“It is not too much trouble at all,” Georgiana said. As soon as she spoke, Darcy, Elizabeth, and Mrs. Annesley rose, and with little bows and curtsies, left the room as quietly as three people might. The door closed, and through it, Georgiana could hear Elizabeth’s muffled voice telling Mr. Miller that no one was to be admitted to the drawing room, that the family would take callers in the conservatory.
They were alone. Georgiana felt her heart pounding as he limped over to where she was seated, sat down beside her – closer than he ever had before – and turned to face her. Georgiana shifted so she might face him, as well, took a deep, tremulous breath, and said:
“I have read your letter. You do not need to win my heart – you held it at the time you wrote those words, and you hold it now. I love you, and I cannot tell you what happiness it brought me to read that you love me as well.”
There, it was said. Her speech did not go long without reward; his right hand was still clothed in a sling, but he took up her hand in his left somewhat clumsily, although with every tenderness in his grasp.
“You have just brought me every happiness, Miss Darcy,” he said, his countenance that of a man much relieved, his eyes looking into hers so intently she could hardly breathe. “And you must let me apologise for all that has happened in the last few days. I did not take these marriage rumours seriously, and I cannot bear to think that one of them has caused you pain. Your sister rightly told me that I had no reason to expect it would not, when I had never made my affections clear.”
“I will not say the thought of it did not hurt me,” she said. “But I know it was not consciously done on your part, and I believe I must share in my part of the blame, for I also did not make my affections clear.”
“There were a few times I thought you attempted to – when you came to say good-bye to me before I left for Portsmouth, particularly, but I could not bring myself to believe it, and I could not see that as the time and place to attempt to bind your heart. You know what I entered into this war wishing to do; I have been fortunate enough to have succeeded, but I cannot deny that it very nearly killed me. I did not wish to rush to an impetuous declaration,” he said. “I see now that it might have been sudden, but never impetuous. I think back now about how much pain I might have saved the both of us, had I spoke then. Your sister explained a little of your romantic past, that you had been thrice pursued by men only interested in your fortune. With such a history, it is no wonder you had a fear of having your affections truly returned. It should have been me that spoke. I wish you could know how much I regret it.”
“I cannot say that having been disappointed in love made me any less able to speak,” Georgiana said. “I have been for much of my life what most would call shy. Indeed, I will at least give one of the gentlemen credit for making me more comfortable in speaking with gentlemen, when I first came out into society. I suppose it is something rather like the pianoforte – it must be practised. I might not have had the courage to speak to you so much when we met, otherwise.”
“Do you mind if I ask if the gentleman in question is Viscount Burnley?” he asked, waiting for her confirming nod. “Lady Tonbridge gave me some understanding of the situation there. I must admit I felt a great deal of jealousy towards the gentleman, upon our acquaintance, and then anger, that he should betray you, for he must have been a fool to do so. However, his inappropriate engagement left me with a chance, which is what I so desperately wanted.”
“You must credit him with more than that, for I will tell you that when I received confirmation that he was engaged, I found myself upset at the betrayal, but not at all heartbroken. That was when I realised it was you who held my heart.”
“Indeed! Then although I still find his conduct wanting, I will always look upon him fondly. I feel for you, though, Miss Darcy, to have been through three such situations. I do not know how you bore it.”
“Oh, but one was only a little passing thing. There was a gentleman at Lady Tonbridge’s musical club who – after less than a fortnight’s acquaintance – decided we were to be married. He proposed, and would not drop his suit; my brother and Mr. Miller had to escort him out.”
“Did they?” he said. “I will assume he was not invited back, to the musical club.”
“You know Lady Tonbridge well enough to know your assumption is correct.”
“And what of the final gentleman?”
Mr. Wickham. Georgiana felt her cheeks burn, and dropped her gaze.
“I am so sorry, dearest,” he said, tightening his grip on her hand. “I did not realise this one was the most upsetting to you. You need not tell me about it.”
Yet Georgiana knew she must tell him about it, even if it changed his opinion of her. Now that they had each confessed the most difficult thing, she wished for every thing between them to always be honest, and that could not be so if she kept her near-elopement a secret from him.
“No, I must tell you. You should know,” she said, and she proceeded to tell him of her time in Ramsgate with Mrs. Younge, of the appearance of Mr. Wickham, who had always been so nice to her as a child. Of how they had found themselves alone, frequently, and he had made love to her until she was quite convinced she was in love with him, although now that she was truly in love, she knew what she had felt back then was nothing of the sort. And then, finally, of how he had convinced her they should elope, how they had been planning to travel to Gretna Green, but her brother had arrived, and she had, already doubting that it was the right course, felt compelled to tell him of their plans.
As she talked, he held a look of shocked horror, and then, eventually, anger on his face. He said nothing, when she had completed her storey, and from the lingering stony distaste on his face, she concluded that she had made a terrible mistake.
“I am sorry,” she said. “I know this must lower me in your opinion. I would understand if it has changed your affections towards me.”
“My affections towards you?” he said, incredulously, gazing at her and tightening his grip on her hand. “Oh, Georgiana, do not mistake my anger by thinking it has anything to do with your conduct. You were but fifteen! You were not out in society, and you were left alone by your companion in the company of such a man, wholly unprotected. No, if it makes any sense at all, I find my anger directed towards the past, at a man I have never met, because he might have stolen you away so that I would never have met you – stolen you away to as miserable a life as I would imagine being married to such a man would be.”
“Indeed none of us need imagine,” Georgiana said, feeling the warmth of relief at his statement. “He did convince Mrs. Darcy’s sister, Lydia, to elope, when she was fifteen. I do not know the particulars of it – my brother would not share them, for obvious reasons – but I know there was some delay in their being married.”
“So he is part of your family?”
“He is but barely acknowledged, and he was with the regulars in Newcastle before war began again, so there was quite a bit of distance between us. My brother has made it clear he is not welcome either here or at Pemberley, but Fitzwilliam would not have Elizabeth’s sister ruined. I have never met her, but I feel for her, for I know how persuasive he can be.”
“I am so sorry for her, and so sorry to hear you have had to suffer such events, Miss Darcy,” he said. “I believe I now better understand what a curse fortune might be on a lady. You must know, if it would help my suit, I would take your entire dowry and throw it into the Thames. I have enough that we would live well without it.”
“I do not consider you to have a suit,” she said, feeling strangely confident. “A suit would indicate there is some uncertainty, and I do not see it, if we love each other as we do.”
“I take your point with every happiness that I may,” he said. “However, there are some things you must consider before I would propose marriage. I do not have so comfortable a living to offer you as other gentlemen would. It is not a case of fortune – I have sixty-three thousand pounds, and can expect at least a little more from the Polonais, although she was so battered about she may not be bought into the service, in which case she will not bring nearly as much prize money.”
“You are also a baronet,” she offered.
“Yes, I suppose I am. You would be Lady Stanton.”
“I will admit I find that quite appealing, although I believe I would also have seen much appeal in Mrs. Stanton.”
“I suppose it is not fortune or title that should concern you, then,” he said. “But I do not know how long this war will continue on. When the Jupiter is repaired, I expect I will be sent back to sea, and you would be left here to wait. It is not unusual for captains to take their wives with them to sea, and I would invite you to come with me so long as the destination and mission of the ship were not too unsafe, but I must warn you that accommodations on board are not very comfortable for a lady. You would have a space much smaller than this room as your primary living quarters, and be required to live among several hundred men, with perhaps a wife or two among the warrant officers for female company, and one lady’s maid to attend you.”
Georgiana had been thinking about what it would mean to be a naval captain’s wife since her brother had set her mind to it, and although she could not tell him this, she could tell him of her conclusion:
“I will not say that I would have set out to fall in love with a naval captain,” she said. “But I find the prospect of living without your love far worse than anything I would have to bear as your wife.”
“And you understand – you do understand there is a chance I will be killed in the course of my career?”
“I do understand,” she said, her eyes filling with tears. “I was – I was so afraid when we heard of the Polonais, that you might die.”
He released her hand, only to use his free arm to pull her into an embrace that was not very proper, but was her every consolation at that moment.
“I am so sorry to have put you through that, Georgiana. I asked my uncle to send an express as soon as he arrived, so that any concern you might have felt would be alleviated,” he said. “But you must be prepared that you may go through such an event again, and the outcome may not be so favourable.”
“I would prepare myself as best I could,” she said. “I do not how I would bear it, but I would rather have to bear such a thing than never have been married to you.”
He took up her hand again, and kissed it, a gesture that thrilled her to her core. “That is all I could ask of you. My dearest Georgiana, will you marry me?”
The lady’s answer, of course, was yes.
+++
There was a certain order of things that was to be preserved, once marriage had been proposed and accepted. The couple emerged from the drawing room, to find Mr. Miller waiting a polite distance from the door; Georgiana needed only to request where the rest of the family had gone, so that she might join them, and partake of the happiest of embraces from Elizabeth and Mrs. Annesley, but Captain Stanton now had to request an audience with Mr. Darcy.
Mr. Miller showed him to the study, at the poor gentleman’s uneven, limping pace, and sent another servant to inform Mr. Darcy that Captain Stanton had business with him, and was waiting in his study. If Captain Stanton had any fears of his reception there, they must have been alleviated when Darcy entered and, without preamble, said:
“Please tell me it is done, that the two of you are to be married.”
“Indeed, we would be,” said Captain Stanton, taken aback. “That is, if you would grant your consent.”
“Finally!” Darcy said, reaching out to shake his hand, and, upon realising only the left was available, completing the handshake with some awkwardness. “I will give my consent readily. Georgiana’s other guardian, Colonel Fitzwilliam, is fighting on the continent and will not be available to do so for some time, but I expect he would agree, and that I may speak for him.”
“I thank you, sir. I must admit I had expected I would have to make my case much more thoroughly.”
“Let us not stand on ceremony,” Darcy said. “You must know that I inquired as to your prospects some time ago. They were suitable at the time, and since then, you have managed to acquire a baronetcy, which only benefits your suit. I will admit I was a bit surprised to learn that the discrepancy between your ages is quite a bit more than I had thought, but I am not even sure Georgiana noticed, and if she did, it was no matter to her, so I will not let it be a matter to me.”
“Discrepancy between our ages, sir? I understand Georgiana is eighteen-and-a-half years of age, and as I am seven-and-twenty, there is not even ten years between us.”
“I had been given to understand from one of the articles about you in the papers that you were one-and-thirty. Was it mistaken, then?”
“Ah, there is the cause,” Captain Stanton said. “So far as the navy is concerned, I am one-and-thirty – my age as the navy knows it was adjusted when I joined my first ship, as I was technically too young. It is commonly enough done, I assure you.”
“Well, as I said, I would not let the difference stand between you when I thought you to be one-and-thirty, so to learn that you are seven-and-twenty makes no difference to my consent, but perhaps does make my mind a little easier,” said Darcy, secretly more relieved than he would let on to learn that the gentleman was several years younger than he. “You may, however, find that I am less forthcoming when we draw up the marriage articles. Recent events have made it clear that you have a greater likelihood of making Georgiana a widow than most other gentlemen she might have married. I will have to request that on the event of your death, the entire sum of her dowry would revert to her.”
“Oh, as to that, I should never wish to leave her without security in life. I would give, I suppose, five thousand pounds to each of my brothers – I have two – and all the rest would go to her and our children, if we are so blessed. It would be the very least I could do.”
