Four Ever, page 27
It was an intoxicating formula.
I lifted my finger to my mouth so I could get it wet. Then I put it back on Noah’s hole. He pushed up so he could bear down on the pressure I was putting on him. But like before, I didn’t move and he let out a frustrated groan. He dropped his hips and lay perfectly still. I rewarded him by easing the tip of my finger inside of him.
“Do you think you would have been able to hold out, little one?” I asked. My own dick was eagerly bouncing against my belly.
Noah’s eyes were closed as he tried to relax his body enough to get more of my finger inside of him. He nodded as his breaths huffed out of him.
“Do you want to know what your reward would have been?” I asked.
He opened his eyes and nodded eagerly.
“Come here and I’ll give you a preview.” I pulled my finger out of him and used a hand on his hip to guide him. He shot me confused glances as I positioned him so he was straddling my chest but facing my feet. “Bend over, sweetheart. Let me see what Liam did to your pretty little hole.”
If he was blushing before, he was practically fire-engine red as his eyes went wide.
But he did it.
God love him, he obeyed every order I gave him until his ass was pressed up against my chin and he was splayed out for me on all fours. I started out slow, just licking and pressing gentle kisses to his opening. But when he started mewling and pushing his ass against my probing tongue, I intensified the caresses. Noah’s hips rolled against my upper body as he fucked himself on my mouth and when I put my tongue inside of him, I swore he shouted what sounded like my name. I could feel his dick smearing pre-cum across my chest.
I massaged his hole over and over until he was a whimpering, needy mess. But the little tease somehow managed to turn the tables on me because I suddenly felt something hot and wet against the head of my dick.
“Fuck!” I called out.
Noah took advantage of my distraction and took more of me into his mouth. His tongue played with my piercing. His moves were unpracticed and somewhat clumsy, but I loved every fucking second of it. I barely had enough brain power left to get my mouth back on his opening.
I had no clue how long we’d been pleasuring each other for when I heard Zak murmur, “I told you he was an ass man.”
Noah’s mouth disappeared from my cock but was quickly replaced by Zak’s. Noah sat up, planting his ass on my face. I went to town on his opening. I could see Liam kissing Noah out of the corner of my eye. Then Liam’s head was dropping and I felt not only Zak’s mouth on my cock, but Liam’s as well. The men seemed to be taking turns licking me like I was some delectable treat. I focused on getting my tongue as deep inside Noah’s ass as I could. I heard foil tearing. Liam was kneeling on one side of the bed so I figured he was getting a condom on Noah’s dick. Noah cried out a moment later when Liam’s head started bobbing up and down on him. Zak was expertly sucking me as Noah continued to ride my tongue. I would have loved to be able to see the sight we made as we pleasured Noah, but having my tongue shoved deep inside of him was equally enjoyable. When he came about a minute later, his inner muscles tried to close around my tongue. I tongue-fucked him through his orgasm, then tore my mouth free when Zak sent me over the edge. I wasn’t sure if Liam and Zak got themselves or each other off, but I did know one thing.
They came all over me.
It was the hottest, dirtiest encounter I’d had in a long time.
And I fucking loved every second of it.
At some point, Noah turned around and kissed me, but it was Zak who eventually took my hand and led me to the shower. I happily went and when I looked over my shoulder, I saw Liam and Noah making out in our bed.
I couldn’t help but think that if they weren’t going to be in the shower with me and Zak, then together in our bed was the next best thing.
Chapter Thirty-two
Liam
“Is today going to be the day?” I asked Waldo as I watched him warily while he sat on his perch. I’d spent the last two weeks trying to bribe the toucan into letting me touch him because I was his last holdout in the house, but so far the fresh orange or banana I gave him every morning had failed to impress the bird. Sure, he’d still eat the fruit, but I was rewarded with an irritated peck each time I attached the fruit to the little holder on his perch so he could peck at it without knocking it to the floor.
Today was no different, and I snatched my hand back before Waldo’s sharp little beak could make contact with my skin. He never pecked me hard enough to actually leave a mark, but it was more the message that still bummed me out.
“He’ll get there, babe,” I heard Killian say as he entered the kitchen.
“He hates me,” I remarked as I quickly gave Skittles and Blueberry their treats. The parrot and macaw actually liked me, so I took a minute to give them each a little pet. I’d already fed all the other animals, so everybody was happily eating when I turned to head back toward the stove.
And ran right into Killian.
He kissed me hungrily as his arms went around me. He was already dressed for work, even though it was still dark out.
“Mmmm, morning,” he said when he pulled back from me.
“Morning,” I responded, sounding as wobbly as I felt.
“How you feeling this morning?” he asked with a grin.
A knowing grin.
“Like you don’t know,” I said snidely. I was careful as I tried to move around him so he wouldn’t notice how stiffly I was walking, but I couldn’t really hide the fact that my ass felt like it was on fire. Being fucked five ways to Sunday tended to do that to a guy.
Killian and Zak had been feeling particularly dominant the night before and it’d been like they’d had a personal bet going to see which one of them could fuck me the longest without making me come. I’d been buried deep inside of Noah most of the time, but I’d followed every order I’d been given not to come. I’d gotten Noah off twice and Zak had come deep inside me before Killian had rewarded me with a fierce pounding that had left me pressed motionless against Noah as I’d been rocked with the most intense orgasm of my life. I was still pretty sure I’d blacked out for a while because I couldn’t remember Killian getting off.
While getting fucked hard by all three men, and yes, it was all three because Zak and Killian had decided Noah should get a turn too at some point, had been incredible, there was one part that I didn’t like.
That the guys still had to wear condoms when they were inside of me.
I’d tested negative for everything a week earlier, but we’d all known the safest route would be to use condoms for intercourse when I was either doing the giving or receiving. Which meant I was the only one who didn’t get to feel the burn of my men’s loads deep inside of me and I didn’t get to leave my mark on any of them. Well, not quite true… I did have the pleasure of watching them swallow my essence during oral, since Zak had said it would be safe to have oral sex without condoms.
But I was counting the months before I’d get to have every piece of my men.
Killian grabbed me and pulled me carefully back to him. His kiss turned soft and sweet. “Sorry, we were a little rough with you last night… are you really—”
“I’m perfect,” I cut in, then I kissed him more passionately. “Last night was perfect.”
Killian seemed to relax and that just warmed my heart even more. After two weeks of pretty much nonstop sex, we were all still getting to know what the others liked. Some nights it was just a tangle of limbs as we came together in what seemed like a seamless dance. Other nights were like last night where we got dirty and raunchy and limits were pushed.
And after two weeks, we’d all had turns with one another and in different variations. Sometimes it was just two of us watching the other two make love. Sometimes it was three while one was made to hold out and do nothing but watch. Sometimes it was hard and fast, other times it was slow and sweet and lasted most of the night. Most mornings it would start all over again in the early hours.
There were only two things we hadn’t done.
None of us had had sex without the others present.
And we hadn’t talked about what any of it meant.
It wasn’t unusual to walk into a room and see two or even all three of my partners kissing, but I’d never seen it go beyond that. During the day, life was relatively normal with Zak and Killian going to work and Noah and I hanging out together as he studied to get his online GED and I worked on my resume and job hunted. Noah and I had plenty of opportunities to fuck while Zak and Killian were gone during the day, but we didn’t. It didn’t feel wrong, exactly. More like, it wasn’t time yet. Like we needed to make sure it was part of the dynamic that we’d all just fallen naturally into.
I always had dinner cooking by the time Zak and Killian got home from work. Most nights still had Killian going to an AA meeting, and Zak always went with him, so Noah and I usually watched TV. There’d been a few times this week where I’d gone with Killian while Zak had stayed home with Noah. On those days, I sat in a little diner near the church where the meeting was held and studied new recipes that I could try at home for my men. When Killian and I would get home, we’d find Zak and Noah cuddling on the couch in the den.
But the second it was the four of us and things were done for the day, we were in Zak and Killian’s room. Between rounds of lovemaking we talked about anything and everything, though admittedly, Noah was still the wildcard. He was more communicative when it came to writing down stuff about himself and what he thought about a particular topic, but he was limiting using his actual voice to calling for one or more of us during intimate moments.
And the nightmares he was having were growing more frequent and more violent.
He’d gone from having one a night to having two or three, and instead of only crying or whimpering as he tried to get away, he’d started lashing out. He was never awake during any of them, but the increased frequency was making him more and more fearful of going to sleep.
Which meant he was likely remembering things in more detail.
He’d gone with Killian twice to see the psychologist Killian was talking to, but on those days, Noah wasn’t interested in doing anything but playing with the animals when he got back home. He’d given the psychologist permission to talk to Killian about the sessions she had with Noah, but so far there hadn’t been much progress. Like with his earlier therapists when he’d been a kid, Noah was reluctant to communicate. But the psychologist suspected much of what Zak had suggested to me… that Noah’s mutism was related to his father’s death and that the dreams were happening more and more because Noah was feeling safer on a day-to-day basis.
It made sense on the one hand, but on the other, it was hard to acknowledge that the more we protected and loved Noah, the more it was hurting him.
“Good,” Killian said. “Zak and I will be home early tonight. Dr. Clark said she’d be here around five.”
I nodded.
Zak had been able to find someone who’d worked for the same missionary group that Noah’s father had worked for. Zak didn’t know the man personally… it was a knew-a-guy-who-knew-a-guy type of thing. The man had agreed to come to the house this afternoon, along with Killian and Noah’s psychologist, to share what he knew about Noah’s father. Noah had already decided he wasn’t interested in meeting the man, but we’d asked his psychologist to come just in case he changed his mind and so that she could hear what the man had to say. We’d decided to have the conversation at the house because it was where Noah felt the safest.
I, myself, was terrified of what we’d learn. Part of me didn’t want Noah to have to go through any of it, while another part of me knew it had to be this way for him to start to heal from the trauma. As much as I loved Noah’s voice, I didn’t care if he never spoke. I just wanted him to be whole… and be able to sleep through the night.
“Okay. Here, I made your lunch,” I said. “That food truck shit isn’t good for you.”
I went to grab the insulated bag from the fridge. I had another one in there for Zak.
“Tuna crostini,” I said as I handed him the bag. The dish was technically supposed to be an appetizer, but Killian had loved it so much after I’d made it for the first time a few nights earlier that I’d made larger portions this morning for his lunch. “There’s leftover stew in there too. You have a microwave on site if the Thermos doesn’t keep it hot enough, right?”
Killian chuckled and leaned down to kiss me. “Yes, Mom.”
“Fuck off,” I muttered good-naturedly as I gave him a light shove.
“Be careful if you guys take the car somewhere,” Killian said. “It’s snowing. It won’t accumulate too much, though.”
Zak and Killian had started driving to work together so Noah and I had a car in case of an emergency, but since I didn’t have a license, we hadn’t wanted to risk driving it. I’d pointed that out a few times, but Killian and Zak said they felt better knowing we had a working car if we needed it.
But none of that was even on my radar as I caught on one word.
“Snow?”
Killian had snuck a crostini out of his bag and was munching on it. “Yeah,” he said. He motioned over his shoulder. “First snow of the season. Won’t be the last, though—”
I hurried past him and went to the window. I could see snow flurries in the light hanging over the barn.
“It’s snowing,” I said in disbelief. I rushed past Killian and ran up the stairs. I wasn’t the least bit surprised to find Zak and Noah kissing and cuddling in the bed. They usually talked in the morning after Killian and I got up.
“Noah, come quick,” I said as I grabbed his hand and practically yanked him from the bed. He wasn’t dressed, but I didn’t care. I snagged one of Killian’s sweatshirts off a side chair and thrust it at Noah as he groggily followed me.
“Liam, what is it?” Zak called.
“Come see!” I yelled.
The dogs began barking excitedly as I dragged Noah down the stairs. He was trying to get the shirt on while still holding onto my hand. Killian was at the base of the stairs watching us with curiosity. I ignored him and pulled Noah to the back door. “Shoes,” I demanded as I pointed to a pair of Killian’s boots.
Noah had managed to get the sweatshirt on, which fell to his knees, and he obediently stepped into the boots. I dragged on a pair of Zak’s shoes, since they were the closest, and then I took Noah’s hand again and pulled him out the back door, making sure to close it behind us so Waldo and the other birds wouldn’t get out.
“Noah, look, snow!” I said. Our motion caused the floodlights to go off so the back yard lit up and the snow became easier to see.
Noah froze in place as he looked up at the sky. Then he held out his hands. I’d seen snow plenty of times because my parents and I had vacationed in Vermont when I’d been younger, but when Noah had told me that he’d never seen it but desperately wanted to, it’d become my life’s mission to show him.
There was a small amount of accumulation on the ground, so I held onto Noah’s arm so he wouldn’t slip. He appeared fascinated by the flakes that were accumulating on his palms. Several long beats passed before he looked at me. I felt like my world was finally complete when he smiled a huge smile and then threw his arms around me.
“I promised you, baby, remember?” I said.
Noah nodded against me, then pulled back and kissed me hard. His hands stroked over my cheeks, then through my hair. The snow was becoming heavier now.
Zak and Killian appeared by our sides a moment later. Killian had grabbed his heavy work coat and put it around Noah’s body while Zak did the same for me with his jacket. I wanted to point out to Zak that he was less dressed than me, but when he put his arm around me from behind, I didn’t care. I held on to it as I watched Killian zip Noah up as Noah tried to catch the snowflakes with his tongue.
“He’s never seen snow?” Zak asked.
I shook my head. “I promised him I’d show him.”
“Another promise kept, baby,” Zak murmured as he kissed my temple.
I almost pointed out that we were only here because of him and Killian, but I held my tongue. I no longer cared what had brought us here. All I cared about was whether or not we’d get to stay.
Chapter Thirty-three
Noah
I liked snow, especially the sound it made. Although, realistically, I knew it wasn’t the snow itself making the sound… it was more like the snow meant the world around us sounded louder. Like everything went silent while snow was falling and the only sound that was left was the Earth’s heartbeat or something.
“You ready to head back?” Liam asked.
I shook my head and glanced at him. I held up my free hand and he quickly nodded.
“Five minutes. Definitely,” he agreed.
He was holding my other hand and had been rubbing my fingers as we’d watched the stream trickle over the little rocks that lined it. It wasn’t cold enough for the water to have frozen over yet, but Killian had said it would be in a couple of weeks. He’d told Liam how to get to the stream that he and Zak had dubbed their “spot.” I’d never heard of people having such a thing, but I could see why they’d chosen it. It was incredibly peaceful.
“Are you happy, Noah?”
I wished I could tell him that I was.
Happier than I’d ever been.
But it wasn’t completely true.
Because Killian, unfortunately, had been right. And as much as I loved Killian, I’d really, really wanted him to be wrong about one particular thing.
The nightmare wasn’t a nightmare and it most definitely wasn’t going away. I still had no memory of my behavior during an episode, but from the terror in Liam’s voice as he’d held me and promised me everything would be okay afterwards, and the way Zak and Killian watched me with concern, I knew it had to be bad.
I was starting to remember more and more little things too.
