Racing Heart, page 19
“Yeah well, it’s killed me to stand here and watch, let me tell ya, anyway…” He claps his hand with Caleb’s, “We better get going. Congratulations again.”
“Thanks, mate.” He signals with his head; I smile at Caleb and turn away. Finn walks slowly on his crutches at my side.
“That wasn’t so hard, was it?”
“Hmm, whatever you say.” He smirks, while I shake my head. We join Braydon, Maria and Charley and head back to the pub.
Chapter Forty-Three
Finn
Two Weeks Later
“It’s healing well, Mr. Cooper. I’m glad you’ve been resting and doing as you’re told.”
“I haven’t exactly had a choice have I, doc?”
He smiles cheekily. “You’ll need some rather intense physiotherapy to get it working properly. Especially if you want to ride at a competitive level again. Would you like me to arrange that?”
“Can I fly home?” That’s the most important question on my lips right now.
“Yeah, I can declare you fit to fly if that’s what you want.”
“I need to go back; my visa is up in a month or so.”
“If you need to stay here longer, I can put in a medical reference and let them know.”
“You can do that?”
“Oh yeah. If you want to use the NHS physio, you’ll be able to stay on medical grounds.”
“As much as I’d love to stay longer, I can’t. I have a physical therapist back home I can use. I also have some affairs to sort out, but thank you.”
I reach out my hand for the doctor to shake. We shake hands, and I leave the room on my crutches. My leg feels so free after being stuck in a cast for the last eight weeks. Braydon waits for me in the waiting room, on tenterhooks for news. When he sees me with no cast on my leg, his face lights up.
Braydon and I have already discussed what will be happening once my cast came off, so he’s excited to be going home. I don’t like the uncertainty of it all. Before this, the plans were to compete in the BSB Grand Prix. If I got first place, then it would have been amazing - but I never planned on Jordan. I have no idea how I’m going to leave her behind, even if it’s only for a few months. I doubt if I’ll get to compete next season. Which means I could be in America for longer than I realize… Then there’s my divorce to sort out.
Fuck. Where along the line did everything get so fucking complicated?
Braydon walks off in front of me, getting the door for me while I’m stuck in my fucked-up head. Trying to work out what’s going to happen with my life and my future.
Now all I have to do is tell Jordan the news.
“When are you leaving?” Jordan's eyes turn downcast, and her chin almost drops to the floor as she asks. Softly tipping her head back with my fingers, I force her to look me in the eye.
“Hey, we both knew I’d have to leave after the Grand Prix.”
“Maybe,” she shrugs, “And I always knew it would be hard to see you go, but with everything else that’s happened too… I don’t know, I guess I didn’t expect to fall for you like I have.”
“I feel the same as you, babe, but I have to go. I need to see my physical therapist; I need to get this leg working, or I’m never going to sit on that bike again. I have a divorce to finalize too. Otherwise, I’m never gonna get to make my sweet English Rose fully mine. We can’t be having that; I’m not letting anyone else snap you up.”
As I gaze into her beautiful, emerald eyes, I can see so much happening for us. There’s no other girl that could ever make me feel like she does, I know that for definite. An idea suddenly pops into my head.
“You know I love you, right? You know I’m in love with you, Jordan, and I don’t want to leave you either.”
Her tongue pops out to moisten her lips as she lets out a heavy sigh. I make sure to take advantage of her parted lips, sliding my tongue in through the gap, I let it tangle with hers. Bringing my hands up to her face, my thumbs smooth across her cheekbones, adding to the tenderness of our already heated kiss. She bunches my tee in her fists, tugging me closer. The softness of her chest presses against mine pushing for more. I slow us down just a bit; I need to finish what I started.
“Baby.” I mumble against her mouth, “Wait, stop.”
“I don’t want to stop.” Jordan trails soft kisses from my mouth and down to my neck.
“Wait, just a second.”
I pull the box from beneath the cushion where I hid it and open it towards her.
“What’s this?”
I prompt her to take the box from me.
“Oh Jesus Finn, this is absolutely beautiful, is this for me?”
“No, I bought it for anyone who would accept it…”
“Don’t get smart with me, Superstar.”
“Well, silly questions and all that.”
She turns all starry-eyed as she looks at the bangle I bought for her, looking from me and back to the piece of jewelry.
“Oh my god, thank you, it’s gorgeous.”
“Just like you,” I smile. “I thought once I went home, you’d have a piece of me, still here with you.”
“You’ll always be with me.”
“Which brings me to go on…”
She halts immediately, looking me in the eye again, her nose resting against mine.
“Go on…”
With the tips of my fingers, I sweep her hair away from her face and tuck it behind her ear.
“Why don’t you come out to California with me? You’d love it, I promise.”
“What, for a holiday?”
“Well, yeah, kind of.”
“Kind of? How long are you thinking, two, three weeks?”
“No, I was thinking more like six months.”
“Finn.” She leans back from me, “I can’t just up and leave everything and everyone… It’s such a big step. What if we don’t last?”
“What if we do?”
“Argh, that’s such a man answer.”
To me, it’s just as simple as that. I can’t see why she can’t see that.
“I’d need a visa and everything, what if I don’t get accepted? It’s not like moving towns. I have my family and friends here.”
“You have one friend. Even I know that.”
Her mouth pulls into a pout, but she knows I’m right.
“Fine, I have one friend who I bother with but still…” She moves out of my hold and sits up. “You’re asking me to give up everything. What about my job? My boss isn’t going to keep it open for me.”
Moving off the bed, I pull on my jeans and turn back to her.
“He’s a dick that takes advantage of your good nature, and with what you do, you’d get a job anywhere.”
“It’s still a big step.”
Turning back around, I start towards the door again and open it, ready to walk through, before stopping again…
“I’d do it for you. In fact, I’d do anything for you.”
Leaving her with that parting comment, I give her some space and go downstairs for some food.
Holding myself up on one crutch, I grab the meat from the fridge and some cheese slices to make a sandwich. I’m struggling though to hold the fridge door open, hold myself up and take the items from the fridge. God only knows how I’m going to make this. I push the fridge door closed and hold a hand out towards the counter to steady my balance. Before turning back around and taking a knife from the drawer.
I see Jordan enter the kitchen from the corner of my eye.
“Why are you struggling? I could’ve done this for you.” She takes the knife from my hand and takes over.
“I didn’t want to ask, you do enough.”
“You mean, you were too stubborn?”
Within a minute, she has my sandwich made and slides it across to me. Her bangle hangs from her wrist and sparkles as the light hits it.
“Thanks, babe.”
She leans against the counter with her hands behind her and pulls herself up to sit on top.
“Finn, if I don’t come back with you, what will happen to us?”
I hobble closer until I’m standing between her thighs.
“Nothing will happen to us. We’ll still be us but just a thousand miles away from each other. We just won’t be able to touch,” leaning towards her, I bury my head in her neck. “Or kiss,” I trail soft and gentle kisses along her collarbone. “We won’t be able to do this…” she extends her neck, enjoying the tenderness I’m laying on her.
She stops my kisses with a satisfied groan, placing her hands on my head.
“What if I can get a couple of weeks off, and I can spend that with you, and we can take it from there?”
“Is that what you want?” I question, I don’t want to think I’m pushing her into anything.
“Of course, it is, I wasn’t being difficult earlier, I was just seeing it from another angle. You know, a realistic one. I love you, Superstar.” She smiles at me, love shining brightly in her eyes.
Inhaling through my nose, I let out a puff of air.
“I don’t feel like a Superstar at the moment.”
“You’ll always be my Superstar, Finlay Cooper.”
“You know if my leg was alright, I’d take you right here on this counter.”
“Don't tease.” She grins.
“Oh, it’s a promise…”
“I’ll hold you to that promise then.”
We enjoy another kiss now that we’ve sorted that little problem out.
“You didn’t answer my question earlier, when are you leaving?”
“As soon as I can. The sooner I start therapy on my leg, the sooner I’ll be racing again.”
Slowly nodding, she tugs me closer. I know she’s upset and she’s trying not to show it.
“We better start your packing then.”
She leans forward and kisses my lips, hugging me as she sniffs back her emotions. Moving me off to the side, she jumps down and leaves me standing here, while she leaves the room and heads upstairs.
Chapter Forty-Four
Jordan
One Week Later.
He’s been gone exactly seven days, five hours, and forty-five minutes. I’m not sure of the seconds because I don’t think I’m quite that crazy to work that out. Saying that though, I miss him so much. I don’t feel whole without him here.
Running the tip of my finger over the interlocking hoops of my new bracelet - my Tiffany bracelet, it comforts me. It was Finn's promise to me that we’d see each other soon and that he’d always love me.
I’ve never been a soppy kind of woman; I don’t chase a man; I don’t get all emotional over them. Ugh, but I guess when you meet the right person, it can do that… who knows. The day he left though, oh my god, I’ve never cried so many tears.
“I don’t want you to go.”
“Stop this. I don’t want to leave you either, but you know I have to.”
Ugh fucks sake, I’m not a needy or clingy person... Taking a deep breath in, my eyes close as he touches me, and I throw my arms around his neck. Dropping his case to the ground, he wraps me up in a crushing hug. I feel every single tear run down my cheeks.
“Oh god, you’d better go.” I sniff.
Breaking away from him, I wipe away the wetness from my cheeks and stand back.
Watching him walk through security and away from me was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I miss him so much. Maria tries to cheer me up, but it doesn’t work, even the locals who come into the pub can’t help. I’m a hopeless case.
“Jordan, cheer up; you’re gonna turn my beer sour.”
“Very funny, you’re such a comedian,” I mumble at Damon from beneath my hand that’s covering my mouth. While I lean my elbow on the bar and roll my eyes at him. “You should be on Comedy Central.
Damon sits on the stool. “Why don’t you go to him? Surprise him.”
“Because moron, it means getting time off from here, and you think Brian is going to give it me off?”
“Jordan, you hardly ever have time off, you deserve a holiday.”
It’s not such a bad idea, I mean, I’m sure I could make the eleven-hour flight on my own. Standing up straight, my fingers drum a tune on top of the mahogany of the bar.
“Do you think I should?” Narrowing my eyes at Damon.
“Yes, Jord. I think you should.”
I think he’s just trying to get rid of me. He’s right, I mean I’ve had more time off since I’ve met Finn, but surely, I’m allowed a proper holiday. Every fucker else can have one… fuck it.
Pulling my phone from my pocket, I type out a text to my boss and wait for the reply.
“Pint?” I ask Damon smiling. This is probably the first genuine smile in days.
“Go on then, you twisted my arm, but only if you have one with me.”
“I’ll have a bottle of bud.”
“Thatta girl.” He slides a ten-pound note across the bar to me, while I pour his pint and twist off the cap to my bottle. While I’m ringing the money into the till, my phone rings. Seeing it’s my boss answering my message already worries me.
“Hey.”
“Are you kidding? I can’t afford for you to have any time off right now.”
“But how is that fair? I work like a dog for you.”
“I’ll come and see you in the morning, just be here for ten.”
The dialling tone sounds down my ear, signalling that he’s actually cut me off.
“Bastard. He cut me off.” I look to Damon, “Can you believe that?”
I pick up the bottle of bud that Damon bought me and put the rim of the bottle at my lips, taking a good swig; he’s pissed me right off. It takes me ages to swallow the liquid in my mouth, it tastes nasty, it has a weird tang - maybe it’s me. I swallow it anyway but with a cringe.
“What did he say?” Damon totally ignores the look on my face and asks me about the call.
“Pretty much that I can’t have any holiday, and we’ll talk about it in the morning… Translated into, ‘no Jordan, you do so well being my fucking skivvy that I need you to run things here. While I sit on my big, idle fucking arse and do jack shit.’ Well, let me tell you, he either gives me the time off, or I’m out of here.”
I slam my palm down on the bar for emphasis and take another swig from the bottle, but again, it tastes like shit.
“Taste that, does it taste funky to you?”
He holds the bottle to his lips and takes a small swig.
“No, he says, placing it back down, “It tastes normal.”
“If you say so....” Putting my nose over the top I sniff it, but it makes my stomach turn. “Ugh, that stinks. I can’t drink that.”
“What do you mean? That’s the hops you can smell - you know the shit they use to make the beer.”
“I can’t, I feel sick.” Pushing it away from me, I leave it by Damon. “You drink it.”
“I will; it’s not going to waste.”
Once Damon leaves, I spend the rest of my shift stewing in my own shitty mood and the weird feeling I have in my stomach. It’s not left me all day. I’m pissed off big time at Brian. I let myself get my hopes up about going out to Finn and all for nothing. So, that brief moment where I was happy again, has gone like a poof of smoke.
I’m up bright and early and showered. The sickly feeling hasn’t really left me all night, so I’m thinking maybe it’s nerves. It’s do or die today; I’m not being pushed around anymore. I’m his bar manager, not his fucking personal assistant or worse, his slave to pick up all the shit at work. Once I’m caffeinated, I make some toast and hope that will do the trick to settle my stomach. I’m ready to meet my boss and give it to him straight. Nothing is going to stop me from getting some well-earned time off.
I arrive at the pub well before him. I open up, get everything ready for the day, and start the line clean of the pumps before I do anything else. While I’m waiting for that to finish, I make myself a coffee and pull a chair out from one of the tables and sip at the hot liquid. Opening my inbox, I click on Finn’s name, there hasn’t been a day since he left me that we haven’t spoken.
Good morning Superstar, how are you today?
I know you’re still sleeping, but wanted to say I love you. Speak to you later. Xx
Smiling goofily to myself, I put my phone down and prepare for my boss. I know exactly what I’m going to say, and as long as it goes my way, I should see Finn by the end of the week.
The door swings open as my boss barges through the door. Making a point of looking at my watch, I remind him he’s late. If I’d known he’d be this late, I wouldn’t have been here so early.
“Come on then…” He drops paperwork onto the nearest table to the bar and tells me to get him a tea. Once that’s made, I take it over and place it in front of him.
“When you say time off, what are you thinking and for how long?”
“Well…” pulling out a chair, I sit down opposite him, “I was thinking two to three weeks?”
“No.” He abruptly answers.
None of this, ‘I’ll think about it or even meet me halfway, just… no’. What a wanker.
“So, all the time I’ve given you and all the shifts I’ve done at the drop of a hat. Even the times I’ve worked without so much as a five-minute break, let alone working without a day off - you’re just saying no?”
“Jordan, the time you’re asking for is just too much; I’m not going to be able to get anyone to cover your shifts. No-one does the long shifts like you do.”
“There’s nobody as stupid as me, that’s why,” I say quietly.
Springing up from the chair abruptly, I take the keys from my jeans pocket, my till swipe card from around my neck, dropping them on his paperwork that he’s scouting through.
“What’s this?” He questions as he looks up at me.
“Those are yours; I’m done.”
