A Hollow Mountain (The Brightest Shadow Book 2), page 63
"I don't think he's with us anymore, Kaen." Ghasfik spoke quietly, but more than loud enough for Brifik to hear. No response.
"I'd prefer not to believe that." Celivia touched Brifik on the shoulder as she rose, then stepped away with her second. "I saw him leave the fire last night to go somewhere. He's more active than he was before."
"He went to purchase alcohol. I think he's trying to drink himself to death."
Celivia cursed and rubbed her eyes. "You're taking it away from him?"
"When I can, but I do not believe it to be a mercy. His will is broken."
"Seinshock doesn't have to be the end. I've known others who recovered from it."
"Others, perhaps. Not us." Ghasfik stared at her somberly and she realized that he'd stopped calling her Kaen. "He joined the army because he wasn't sure what he wanted to do with his life. People such as you might claw their way back to accomplish some purpose, but..."
Looking back at Brifik, Celivia struggled not to accept that conclusion. "Are you truly saying that you've never seen a soldier recover from seinshock?"
"Mild cases, yes. But those who are truly broken... I know only one old veteran who retired after his shock. Given a place to rest away from war, he eventually laughed again. But the mansthein army doesn't grant leave for such inner wounds, and we can only shield Brifik so much. He'll be thrown against the enemy at his most brittle."
"Even if you're right, let's not accept it easily." The words felt weak, but she had no others. Celivia nodded to Ghasfik and left him with Brifik, unable to meet that empty gaze any longer.
As she walked through the camp, she saw the signs of war all around her. Those few who were still sick had been left behind and those who remained had all faced the enemy. According to their commanders, the assault on the Sage would begin once they had increased their elite strength. Celivia suspected that meant they were waiting for Zeitai Kreue, but there were rumors of more.
Celivia herself felt as prepared as she could be, even if her band was not. All the time waiting had been excellent for her sein training, leaving her completely comfortable with all four of her senses. She had even considered learning an entirely new technique to take advantage of her new sein, but chose instead to reserve it in preparation for a Catai rebirth. If they granted her one, she would need the excess.
Most of the soldiers went about their business, but several glares caught her like a jagged blade. To her surprise, Celivia spotted Splinters among a group of soldiers, all of whom turned away from her. Though her mind wanted to cast them in a villainous light, other than Splinters they appeared to be upstanding soldiers like thousands of others across the world.
Just as Celivia was considering whether or not to say anything, Ghalia approached. "Celi, have you seen Rei?"
"She's still with the Bersk. Do you need to send a message to her?"
"No, I just wish we could drink together again." Ghalia put an arm around Celivia's shoulders and led her away, lowering her voice. "Don't tell the others, but one of their preparations for the battle is releasing resources for more rebirths. Some kind of deal with the humans of Wahleen made it possible. So you'll be marching into battle with more Catai."
Though that was important information, Celivia's mind was still on their mutual friend. "There are Bersk in Xetsu's army, aren't there? Have any of them received a Catai rebirth?"
"One, I think. Xetsu cares as little about that as he does about sex and everything else that isn't fighting. But that one tried to leave his past behind... let's just say he's the shortest Catai I've ever seen. Strong, though."
"I understand that they might not want to spend the resources on someone with a shortened lifespan, but it still feels like a waste."
"Now you sound like Reina. And this was actually supposed to be about you." Ghalia leaned over as they walked, putting her considerable weight on Celivia's shoulders. "You're too meek, Celi. If you want to become a Catai, you need to reach out and seize it for yourself. The soldiers might mostly like you, but they don't matter compared to catching the eye of your superiors. And the Catai haven't really noticed you."
"Just how do you know all this?"
"Catai gossip." Ghalia grinned to reveal all her knife-like teeth. "There aren't so many of us, even in an army like this, so they welcomed me straight away. We have a lot of problems that need complaints... you have no idea how easy it is to break chairs, for example."
"I can imagine." Celivia admitted to herself that she hadn't considered the plight of Towd in much detail, but surely there must be downsides. "What other problems wouldn't other mansthein expect?"
"A lot of the males complain about how big their cocks are, and how no woman will touch them."
"That is... not the kind of problem I had in mind, Ghali."
"Admit it, you're thinking about Catai dick now." Ghalia leaned on her with a grin, but Celivia merely slipped her grip.
"It's not as though they went through natural rebirths. They would have been able to control their size to something most women might want."
"You have a lot to learn about males, Celi. You did always like learning things, though. Do you want me to make some introductions?"
Realizing that Ghalia had every intention of pushing the conversation to as uncomfortable of territory as she could, Celivia resolutely changed the subject. "Has anyone in Xetsu's legions ever said anything about the Zeitai rebirth?"
"That... is not the same." The amusement vanished from Ghalia's face and she looked eastward, as if she could see all the way to Eltar Trathe. "I don't know much. It doesn't use a rebirth chamber and it requires more than just strength. I know a few have asked Xetsu and he didn't answer. He does that often, so it might not mean anything."
Or it might mean a great deal. Different nations and factions of mansthein treated rebirth differently, allocating the resources required according to their own priorities. But no one seemed to control the Zeitai ascensions, they simply occurred at random. It was one aspect of power that stood above all other squabbling.
"Celi! There you are!"
Both of them turned to see Jeraeli advancing toward them... and the woman was quite a sight. The first thing Celivia noticed was how much hotter the fire of her sein burned, the kind of rapid change that could only have come from a rebirth. Despite herself, Celivia stared as the other woman approached.
Jeraeli had not taken the bulky Towd form, instead her rebirth had left her much the same. If anything, she was even curvier, and her legs definitely appeared longer as they flashed in the slits of her robe. Her hair shimmered brighter than before and her skin was a lighter gray, but those things were to be expected. Oddly, her ears had shifted from thin Laenan spikes to a stubby Seinan triangle, though she hadn't abandoned her Laenan horns.
"Yes, drink it all in." Jeraeli laughed and spun in a circle, her robes and hair following around her. "Catainan Jeraeli is rather a sight, is she not?"
Ghalia chuckled. "You make me wonder if I like women after all. Just what form is this? Why change your ears?"
"Oh, the ears are purely for the aesthetic." Jeraeli ran a hand along the tip of hers as if her body was still unfamiliar. "This is something of my own devising, but I developed it based on the Seirios route. No offense to you, Ghali dearest, but I could never manage that look."
"Your nails..." Celivia reached out on an instinct and Jeraeli eagerly thrust out a hand to show off the painted claws.
"Aren't they beautiful? Sadly, they aren't that color naturally, so I will need to reapply it every day."
"They're for stabbing, aren't they?" So much of Jeraeli's body was so graceful, the stiffness of her fingers stuck out. Celivia recognized it in herself, her own nails much shorter but also built solidly into her fingers so that they could be used to slash.
For a moment Jeraeli looked truly surprised, then she let out a delighted laugh and kissed Celivia on the cheek. "I didn't expect you to notice! You didn't really think they would let me undergo a rebirth just to become more beautiful, did you? I think a great deal of myself, but..."
"They don't look like much good to me." Ghalia peered closer at the shorter woman's hands, and at that moment Jeraeli struck.
Her hand flattened and thrust out like a knife, stabbing Ghalia multiple times in rapid succession. Normally striking a Towd Catai would have been a good way to break fingers, yet Jeraeli's entire arm supported the stabbing points. Though her claws were painted, they were also very sharp. They failed to break Ghalia's skin, but she backed away and rubbed her stomach.
"Your claws are sharp, little Catai!" Ghalia winced slightly. "Given time to practice and grow a little more, you could disembowel someone with those. I imagine they can already break through armor?"
"You think I've tried? Look how much time I spent painting them, I'm not ruining all that work!" Jeraeli moved to Celivia again, giving her a quick embrace. "But I desperately wanted to speak to you before they sent me away."
"You're leaving?" Celivia asked. "I assumed that you had been promoted for the sake of the battle."
"No, not in my case. I was granted a rebirth so that I could replace a much stronger Catai who can now join the war. He was in charge of that mining operation that has caused us so much trouble. I had wanted to ask... you know something, don't you?"
Celivia knew that her hands had clenched and didn't try to loosen them. "Kreue is searching for something that he thinks is related to the Hero. It might or might not exist, but if you found it, he would no doubt reward you."
"That's not why you're so tense, is it?"
"No. Jeraeli, there are... Kreue wants to bring breeding pits here. He's imported Feinan women and possibly some of the weaker Wahleenese mansthein. I saw only a little, but it's every bit as terrible as the tradition has always been. You need to do something."
"Oh, Celi..." Jeraeli's face had slowly fallen as she listened, and now she shook her head. "That's horrifying, but you do understand that I can't go against the Zeitai's orders? At most, perhaps I can make the practice less horrible."
Nothing could change the bare facts of it, but Celivia took a deep breath and decided not to make her last moments with Jeraeli an argument. "I hope you can. And maybe if you find what the Zeitai wants and we end this war, he won't need to breed a new army after all."
"Yes, there's the optimistic Celi I love!" Jeraeli kissed her on the cheek again before backing away and giving both of them a polite bow. "I'm pleased to have met you as well, Ghali. I wish all of you the Dark Lord's own luck in the battle to come."
With that blessing, Jeraeli left them quickly. The mention of the pit tore a hole in all of Celivia's other emotions. No matter what she did, no matter if she helped Brifik recover, worse was being done there. Acts executed under the order of the Zeitai she now served. At least it seemed that Kreue had yet to find whatever he sought.
"You can't trust her." Ghalia ground out the words as soon as Jeraeli had left their sight, putting a heavy hand on Celivia's shoulder. "She's a politician, Celi, and she's using you. Has she done anything deserving of a Catai rebirth? She built that on top of your work."
"Do you know that for certain, or are those merely suspicions?"
"Suspicions, but you need to be more careful. Have you noticed how quickly she began calling us Celi and Ghali? You've known her for less than two years and she acts as though we came up from the pits together. Just because you want to cooperate with all women doesn't mean that others won't take advantage of you over it."
"You're right, Ghali. I should be more careful." But though Celivia smiled at her old friend, she found her suspicions sliding in another direction entirely. She had endured many hardships together with Ghalia, but those had been many years ago.
Chapter 48
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"The Wahleenese errant removed his helm and was revealed to be Emdore, and Emdore cast his helm aside. He lowered his lance and caught Emlioon with his arms instead. The two proclaimed that they wanted nothing more than one another and cast aside all their armor, and with their armor cast aside, they journeyed together to the south, the war of those days forgotten."
- excerpt from The Tale of Emdore and Emlioon
-
Mount Tmil loomed above all others, the dark clouds around the peak gradually falling closer. Whenever Tani attempted to enjoy the mountains, she found her gaze wandering toward that isolated peak. Though it wasn't a particularly forbidding mountain, strangely pale against the dark clouds, it still filled her with a sense of foreboding.
If all went well, by the end of the day they might have reached that mountain. There, she would finally meet the Sage that Slaten and Laeri had told her so much about. Whoever he was, he supposedly held the secrets to the Legend itself. Saving his life had been the purpose of all the violence.
The three of them trained together in order to reach that outcome, though it would be more accurate to say that Slaten and Mohuno trained together and Tani meditated on her own. Swordsmen always surprised her with the details of their conversation. Though they had many concerns in common, such as footwork and sein, the discussion of specific blades and strikes left her alone.
What she needed to do, she realized, was stop introducing Slaten to swordsmen who had captured her eye. Then they wouldn't spiral into the sword vortex together.
Tani realized the next moment how casually she had thought about Mohuno in romantic terms. Though she began to refuse the thought, soon after she reversed and accepted it. Her mind was scattered, so as her master said, she should accept all parts of herself.
She had been skeptical at first, but it seemed that Mohuno had been truthful. Not all of his clan had changed, but he no longer intimidated women into his furs. Even bending all her new senses to analyze him, he seemed to be sincere. Which made it all the more frustrating when his sincere efforts still struck her as inadequate.
Did she always find herself attracted to people who proved so difficult? Celivia was one of the most attractive women she'd met, and they found themselves on opposite sides. Shaking aside the thought, Tani considered further back. Narenel had been kind and goodhearted, but he had kept to his honor and then they had been separated when the Coran Resistance was betrayed.
The pain of those memories hurt less than the quiet thought that she had never gone after him. Perhaps they could have been together, but now it was likely that they would simply never see one another again. It made Tani think of Eraes's mirror in her pack... would she continue onward, collecting relics and memories of those she lost forever? She wondered if such a journey was worth it, yet it seemed to her that any journey would leave behind so much...
Abruptly Tani realized how long she had been sitting, barely meditating and simply stewing over her thoughts. She was a warrior, not an inexperienced girl. Tani rose to her feet and channeled all her frustration into a swift series of five throws.
She thought that she might be able to bind a sixth knife in place with sein taking the role of her missing finger, but this was not the time for experimentation. Tani jerked all her knives back to her hands instead, practicing the catches. Ideally, she could alternate two knives in each hand, creating an endless chain of throws. Her body could finish the movements, but her sein clung to old habits.
"Tani." Slaten's voice came low, a warning that needed no explanation. She turned and saw Melal stride into the clearing, his eyes bright.
"It is time." Melal looked fully the Hero in that moment, his eyes piercing straight through them to the mountain in the distance. "We march to war."
~ ~ ~
As her band marched within the rest of the army, Celivia sought some final words for the soldiers with her. She wanted to warn them to be careful in a battle of this scale, but if she had not already trained those instincts into them, it was too late. If any words could have restored Brifik from his vacant shuffle, she would have spoken them. Somehow she still hoped that by some strategy she could find and protect her human friends on the other side.
But the time for words had passed.
Ahead she could see Mount Tmil impaling the sky. It almost looked unnatural to her, rising isolated among other peaks, yet what culture could create a mountain? Even without the gathering clouds, she felt something tugging her from the peak. Attraction and revulsion twisted together inside her and she felt her teeth grit together involuntarily. That was when she realized that the Hero must be present, somewhere in the bare hills around them.
Perhaps a few more words could still matter. "Keep your rage in check." Celivia turned to look over her band, especially Ghasfik. "You may see a great many new threats, but your best hope of survival is to remain in formation. If you feel the urge to charge the humans, realize that it is a trap."
Splinters sneered. "Are you saying that the humans will reach into our heads to make us charge?"
"I'm saying that if you lose control, you die." The steel in her voice silenced even Splinters. Making them fear might be bad for morale, but she hoped it would be good for their lives.
According to the plan, they would march for an entire day to seize Mount Tmil itself. Celivia kept her hands on the hilts of her weapons, presuming that an attack would come sooner. Not only did she suspect that the Hero would interrupt them, another cohort had been devastated in an attack by the Stormpeak clan. The region surrounding Mount Tmil was too densely packed with forces for them to take it easily.
Soon enough, her suspicions were confirmed as a shrill call echoed over the mountains. Several Stormpeak warriors emerged at the head of the column, not using an ambush because they didn't need one. They struck the side of the mansthein lines, sending soldiers scattering in pieces with the force of their blows.
As the army turned south to face them, Celivia felt the light stab her eyes. Before she even fully understood, she found herself shouting to everyone who could hear.
"The west! Brace west!"
Her cry came in time for her band, which quickly turned and slung their shields from their backs, but it was too late for the soldiers nearer the side of the valley. Raider spears struck the flank of the mansthein army, and the timing was no accident. They had waited for the Stormpeaks to begin the battle and now sought to exploit their advantage.
