A Hollow Mountain (The Brightest Shadow Book 2), page 38
"Sorry, I'm not used to traveling this far." Unila seemed unmoved until she took a step and her leg nearly buckled. "I intended to leave you here, but I should rest before I move on. The Laenans will have me moving supplies for them."
Though Celivia considered offering her arm, she decided it would be taken as an insult. "I will likely need to visit an administrative office to find my friend, and that should be near the Voidwalker headquarters. Shall we go together before you leave me here?"
"Fine." Despite her terse response, Unila did seem grateful as they left the entrance square and entered Laerith.
The capital of Laen Karnak was a formidable place, showing a completely different kind of wealth than Ith Silvaros. From the beginning, the Laenans had never tried to compete with the capital. Instead they built restrained, efficient buildings. Even a mansion she spotted had identical pillars and statues perfectly distributed behind the hedge front.
"Are the Voidwalker headquarters nearby?" Celivia asked. Unila only shook her head and trudged on.
"Not in a city like Laerith. Too many people coming and going. It's... this way."
Freed of concerns over guiding them, Celivia simply enjoyed walking through the new city and observing the crowds. Most around her had silver or white hair, but she noted a few green-tinted heads that reminded her of Jeraeli. Their clothes were far more conservative, layered shirts and jackets common among both men and women. Some of the women wore elegant dresses with high collars, very different than formal Seinan robes.
Celivia noted in surprise that she saw more than occasional humans. Most wore identical clothes to the Laenans, and some must have dyed their hair white. It was actually the lack of characteristic thin Laenan horns that drew her attention, though after she noticed, the humans stood out to her. Still, they appeared more at home in Laerith than Celivia and Unila.
Laenan mansthein had always stood apart from the age-old conflicts between Feinan and Seinan, so she wondered yet again what role they might play. For now, most factions worked together under the leadership of the Senate. But if the humans ever mustered any similar unity, then their superior numbers might fracture the mansthein armies.
It didn't take them long to reach their destination: the Voidwalker headquarters even had their name written in the blocky Laenan version of Futhik. When they stepped inside, they entered a buzzing hive of activity. The large building was well-appointed and especially well-organized, with one entrance for business, one for Voidwalkers, and one for those hoping to receive items or messages.
Unila ignored everyone and shuffled her way over to a desk that appeared devoted to messages. When she set down a chit, the Laenan man behind it immediately gave her a respectful nod and began looking through a particular file. Since it seemed that it might take him some time, Celivia's gaze wandered back over the frenzied activity around them.
This time, she saw only one person.
Reina sat over one end of a bench, slumped atop a pillow she had propped on the arm rest. Though she had changed into stiff Laenan clothes, the purple tint to her hair and skin made her stand out. Besides, the only others present as short as her were young messengers.
"Rei!" Celivia called out to her, and in an instant the other woman leapt from sulking to overjoyed. She shot across the floor in a blink and collided with Celivia's stomach, arms wrapped around her.
"Celi! What are you doing here?"
"Isn't that my question? I thought I'd have to search all over for you." Celivia pulled Reina away and brushed back some of her hair with a fond smile. It always flew everywhere when she ran.
"I was waiting for messages. This assignment is awful, Celi, just awful. All that gets me through is hearing from the others... I wish you weren't out in the middle of nowhere so you could write to me. Lurimin sends very nice letters when she can, and even Ghalia responds sometimes, but still..."
"A Bersk?" Unila's voice interrupted the reunion. The Voidwalker stared between them as if she couldn't believe what she saw. "Your friend is a Bersk?"
All at once, Reina's body became a coil of rage. Celivia tried to hold her back, but the smaller woman slipped out of her grasp and leapt to face the Voidwalker. Her fingers twitched as if she wanted to grab the cleavers hanging at her waist. "I don't like your tone."
Unila flinched, but her eyes remained hard. "I didn't expect one of Celivia's friends to have thrown her life away like that."
"You think I chose this?" Reina took another step forward, her sein rising like a bloody wind. "No, this is how they made use of me, back in Spathor. They stole my chance to grow up normally. They stole years from my life. Even if I attain a Catai rebirth, I'll always be stunted. So yes, I might be Bersk. But if you have the nerve t-"
"I'm sorry." Unila raised her hands, eyes a bit wide as she understood that she had gone too far. "Truly, I am. I thought you had volunteered as a cheap path to power."
"There aren't as many volunteers as you might want to think."
"I meant disrespect, but I should not have. Please, both of us have known many of the same struggles. I'm sorry that I didn't understand yours."
Reina glared at her, eyes burning, and then slowly backed down. The dangerous hints of seinrage faded and Celivia's tense muscles relaxed. For a moment, she had worried that Reina would lose control and need to be restrained. Celivia thought she could have done it, especially with her recent breakthrough, but it would have been bad for everyone.
As Reina and Unila made their apologies, Celivia observed both of them with her new eyes. Unila's spirit was a small flame shooting off violent sparks in all directions, as were most of the other Voidwalkers in the building. Reina... she was a sphere of blood red flame.
Once she had said enough to smooth over the incident, Unila quickly turned to Celivia. "I need to rest and then do some heavy work throughout Laen Karnak. Until then, you need to take care of yourself. Return here every day at noon to meet me, because however long this takes, by the end I'm going to be behind schedule to reach my next destination."
"I understand," Celivia said. "Thank you, Unila."
"This will be the death of me." Unila barely avoided shooting a glance at Reina, then stalked past the guards into the inner parts of the Voidwalker headquarters.
That left Reina and Celivia standing together. The shorter woman immediately hugged Celivia with one arm and whispered mischievously. "Don't worry, Celi, I wasn't really about to lose control. I've been testing the edges of seinrage as part of my training. I know it might look bad sometimes, but it's intimidating, isn't it?"
"That's a nasty trick." Celivia ran a hand over Reina's hair affectionately. "It seems that we will have some time together, so you can tell me all about it."
"I'd love to, but what is this actually about, Celi? Why come all the way here?"
As they walked to Reina's quarters, Celivia explained her impossible assignment and the way she saw her dilemma. Unsurprisingly, Reina was completely supportive except where it came to her band, who Reina assumed would be better off decapitated. Eventually they reached a low barracks and Celivia stopped beside the entrance, taking Reina's hand.
"I know you want to help, Rei, but can you? You aren't on leave this time."
"Not that it matters." Reina made a face before tugging her into the building. "I thought that I would be an adviser here, but no one wants to hear anything I have to say. The Laenans are determined to move forward no matter what I try, so they just need me as... a figurehead. To give the project legitimacy."
"They're thinking of developing a Bersk program?"
"They claim that it will be better, of course, and won't have so many negative side effects. And the one thing I will admit is that their specialists seem to really care. We've talked a lot about my rebirth and improvements that can be made, and I've learned so much more than I thought there was to know about rebirthing. But being able to create a better Bersk and actually doing it are two different things."
"Because of the cost?"
"Exactly. I thought the Seinans were inflating the cost of rebirths to hold other groups down, but so many of the acids are so rare... I think they're actually allowing as many as possible. But the Bersk rebirth is already somewhat expensive, for shock troops with short lives, so making them even more expensive just to improve their quality of life..."
As Reina explained everything about her position, they traveled deeper into the military quarters. Though built from local stone and bearing pennants of Laenan green, the building was nearly identical to so many others that Celivia had seen throughout the world. Across so many continents and nations, the mansthein military machine produced identical buildings. Compared to the unfamiliar environment in Wahleen, it was faintly comforting.
The conversation continued as they entered Reina's quarters, which were little more than a box with a bed. Atop the bed lay a bundle of thick blankets that Celivia would have gladly used during spring in the mountains. Without the need to discuss it, they locked the door and wrapped up together in the blankets, facing each other.
They had done the same a long time ago, in shreds of fabric instead of blankets.
Slowly Celivia felt all her tension melt away. When Reina finished griping and began to ask questions, Celivia answered freely. It had been so long since she could speak completely openly to someone, to complain without being criticized. In that moment, using up her resources felt entirely worth it, just to be able to touch another person without concern.
As it grew darker outside and gas lamps lit up in the streets, they spoke of everything. Shared frustrations with their assignments, enjoyed comparing their training, and discussed what would come next. Just when Celivia felt that she could not be more relaxed, Reina reached out to touch the side of her face, then slid her hand down to rest on her neck.
"Celi... you haven't found anyone, have you?"
It would be so easy just to allow their comfortable intimacy to drift into something more. Part of her longed for it, but the problem was that it was too easy. So much of what bound them together as allies made being partners simply too painful.
"I haven't. But Rei..." Celivia gently took the other woman's hand in both of hers, then gave it a gentle, painful kiss. "You know how much you mean to me, but we can't be this. I'm sorry."
For a moment Reina stared as if her heart was breaking again, then she threw herself forward to embrace her. Celivia tensed for only a moment before she realized that Reina simply wanted to lie next to her. "At least hold me, Celi. Even if we can't... I still need you."
Celivia wrapped her arms around the other woman and held her close as they drifted to sleep. There was pain between them, but it was an old and familiar pain. Celivia embraced that as well.
Chapter 28
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"The Zeitai stood in the center of Fkaz and told the strongest young teeth that he had a challenge for them. Each was to be given an egg of a rare cockatrice that fed on pure sein. They were to feed their sein to the egg for the full year and the bird that hatched would be the proof of their full strength. Every ambitious tooth took an egg, including a boy named Fasn."
- Feinan version of The Zeitai's Egg
-
After many days traveling along the river, Tani felt as though she again had her bearings. Her time in the Sotunn Mountains had been frequently troubling, but now she could take steps forward without falling more back. The errants might not be Nelee, and at times she felt a terrible longing, yet something in their camaraderie made her feel nearly at home.
Though her grand wager remained unresolved, and Worise still regarded her skeptically, most of the other errants had accepted her among them. They shared the work of running the vessel, and though she knew little of ships, she could help with some tasks. As surprisingly fleet of foot as they might be in their armor, Tani could be more agile yet. She also helped the cook, who was not well-regarded among the other errants, and won some acclaim for her attempts to improve their fare.
In return, they taught her a great deal. The simplest of it was the sparring, as they kept part of the deck clear in order to practice daily. She quickly learned that the errants were formidable, their armor capable of withstanding her sickle knife even when supported by her sein. Though she was convinced they used their sein within their armor somehow, they refused to speak of those secrets.
Strangely, she saw no sacred texts among them, and when Hamoit saw her studying her master's case, he remarked upon it. As far as she could tell, the northern nations had few texts, instead passing along living traditions from mentor to student.
The training was the least of it. Once they understood that she was ignorant of their nations but not unintelligent, they were happy to explain many things to her without any scorn. She finally understood that they had an obsession with division and categorization. Weaker warriors fell into the "Realm of Iron" and were called Ironsquires and then Ironlords. Those she would have called masters formed the "Realm of Steel" as Steeljudges and finally Steelmasters. Each of those titles was subdivided into three smaller ranks, but that struck her as unnecessarily separation.
Alongside a dozen minor delights, she had been doing her best to learn the Reili language. It no longer sounded so harsh to her, and though the order of words was very strange, it followed consistent rules. Since most spoke Coran, however, she hadn't learned as much as she'd hoped. Once she could listen and hear more than a few words, she hoped to learn yet more from the conversations around her.
Her favorite discovery was truly understanding that they didn't have seasons in the north, not as she thought of them. Instead of rainy and dry seasons, their year cycled between four phases. The warmest of their seasons - "summer" - had ended recently, leading into two progressively colder seasons. She wondered if she would have survived, if they had attempted to cross the Sotunn Mountains in the coldest, and she did not look forward to the next winter.
Still, their stories of new growth in spring or the changing trees in autumn captured her imagination. Whatever their seasons, rainy or freezing, humans always sought peace and beauty. The north even celebrated a holiday akin to the Dawn of Spirit, determined by the same cycle of the sun and stars.
She thought that Dawn of Spirit was a much better name than "Last of the Year", but she wasn't going to argue. One day perhaps she could celebrate with them.
"Errants ho!" A shout rang from the front of the ship, warning that they would soon encounter another vessel. Tani finished her exercises and hopped to her feet, pulling her scarf over her head. They had taught her that respectable women in Espal did not go about with their hair uncovered, and though she thought it was a strange custom, they seemed to take it very seriously.
Even in armor. After seeing many of the errants' faces, Tani realized that there was a simple pattern: all the women wore clothes that wrapped tightly around their heads and neck, even the women whose helms would have covered them anyway. That was truly absurd, in Tani's opinion, but she did not want to argue with her hosts.
Looking ahead, she saw several ships had stopped where a curve in the river formed a place for a small harbor. It looked like any of the other minor posts in the desert to her, aside from the fact that many armored warriors were visible by the river. She saw Hamoit standing near the front of the boat and moved to stand beside him.
"Hamoit, why did they call about the errants?"
"Because they aren't Espalese." He pointed toward some of the figures ahead, trusting that she could see them. Her sensory arts, at least, seemed to be better than they expected. "If you don't know the flags, you can still see their armor. Note the gaps between the plates and the dark fabric underneath. And their women go about with heads covered in nothing but braids."
"Ah, I see now. If they're going to cause a problem, could we not simply continue past them?"
"This isn't a threat, Tani, it's a challenge. Don't worry, this won't come to blood." He leaned against the rail, however, giving the field considerable scrutiny.
One element of life in the north that Tani had yet to master was fully understanding the people of the Maenhu nations. She could note some traits of their clothing or armor, yet the people themselves seemed almost the same. Almost all had varying shades of blond hair, and she observed a similar range of skin tones. All had fairly wide eyes, though not as large as Laeri's. If they had lived on the Chorhan Expanse, she would have identified them all as a single unknown people.
Yet they cared about the differences between them with a ferocity that matched any Rhen rivalry. Three vast nations, too large to know all of their people, and they managed to hate other equally vast nations. She wanted to understand and had so far failed to do so. Stranger yet, they referred to themselves as one Maenhu in a manner she wasn't sure she wholly understood.
As they drew closer, she saw that the errants who had left their ships met each other on the field. She noticed many contests of strength and realized that they were always between Portantese and Espalese armor. Elsewhere they held contests of precision and once of archery, yet none of them sparred or drew real weapons. Coming to a conclusion, she glanced over at Hamoit.
"Are we stopping solely to have a meaningless contest with Portantese knights?"
"It isn't meaningless!" His protest quickly gave way to a smile, however. "I will admit that it is not the most useful of contests, but it is a matter of respect. This way, young errants can take off their armor and release some stress. We can prove ourselves or test one another without an outbreak of violence."
"Is this a common event? It is a wonder that you ever make it to the end of the river."
Hamoit laughed. "I have only seen this happen one other time, but all errants are familiar with such contests. They are a sign that we are not at war, so they deserve to be celebrated."
