A Hollow Mountain (The Brightest Shadow Book 2), page 26
"Most of them are flat, with colored squares to represent the mountains. This one uses raised squares to show them directly, and I've seen some that are ornately carved. But that doesn't matter, because the rules are always the same. First, this piece is the soldier..."
As he explained each of the pieces, Natala moved closer to sit on the opposite side of the board. He wasn't sure if he was drawing her out or falling into her trap, but for the moment he simply set those thoughts aside. Just as if he was playing a game of Yenith, he maintained one thought process while holding another part of himself back and considered strategy.
Natala absorbed the rules immediately, never needing him to repeat anything. Though Slaten wished that he'd found a Shiil board instead, he'd enjoyed Yenith enough when playing with Eraes. According to her, it was an ancient and subtle game based on a battle that had long since been lost to time. He could only vouch for the "subtle" part of that and told Natala nothing but the rules.
When the explanation finished, she moved one of her pieces without saying a word. Slaten responded and they played in complete silence. Around them grunts and moans and screams penetrated through the walls, but within the room there was only the sound of marble pieces touching the board.
In the end, Slaten won by dominating the corners instead of competing for the mountain. It was a trick that Eraes had used on him several times, and though Natala recognized it, she was too late. He used his position to isolate her elite pieces and remove them one by one until all three lay on the side of the board. She sat back, frowning and staring at the squares.
"Did you let me win?" he asked. She looked up at him without expression.
"Would you believe anything I said?"
"I chose to ask you."
A smile of some kind. Natala briefly glanced at him before she returned her attention to the pieces. "You won fairly. This is like the design of my version of Neyet, but vastly more complex. I think I could do better the next game, but first I need some time to think."
"Why do you stay in the Bloodskin village?"
"Lack of options." Though she still didn't look at him, her tone wasn't as flat as before. "If I waited for a large raid and traveled with the others to a trading point, the best I could do is join another clan. Some might be better, but some would be worse. Most likely no one would care, but someone might follow to try to punish me. But regardless, the chance of being killed by a warrior would remain high."
"You're an intelligent woman, Natala, and you know it. You don't think you could use that to make your way in the world?"
"Intelligence is a trait with limited value."
"That isn't true." Slaten spoke directly to try to shock a reaction out of her, but her neutral expression turned aside the thrust like armor. "If you leave the Sotunn Mountains with us, you'd be able to build a life for yourself easily. Your mind alone is an asset, and you could learn many skills as easily as you learned the rules of Yenith."
"Limited value, not no value." Finally she looked up at him with hard eyes. "My mother was also an intelligent woman. Years after she bore me, she tried to attach herself to Chief Bufogu, to control him into making her his only woman. I don't know if she moved too quickly or if it was simply a fit of rage, but Bufogu splattered her mind over the rocks with one blow."
There was nothing he could say to such a story, and it was clear that she didn't want sympathy. After a time, Slaten decided that a question was safest. "You said years after... the Chief isn't your father?"
"No. My father was a warrior of the clan, and though he lived with my mother when she was very young, I think they cared for each other in their way. He was perhaps more intelligent than she was... and it only took one bad raid to end his life. According to the others, a Wahleenese errant killed him in a single blow, as easily as if he was an unarmed woman."
"An errant?"
"That is what they call warriors in the nations north of the mountains." Natala's gaze shifted to the side, through the partition walls. "I have never seen one in person, but I have an illustrated book with a drawing of errants. They wear large armor, completely different from our warriors. There's a Bloodskin saying that armor is the skin of a coward, but I know that they flee when the most powerful of errants hunt them."
It was the first that he had heard of them, though he did have the general understanding that the north contained many armored warriors. He found his attention focusing on the first part of what she had said. "You said you had a book. Can you read?"
"Would it make you happy to teach me? One more way that I would be dependent on you?"
Slaten heard the bitterness in her voice and could think of no way to get past it. Instead, he merely stared back at her. Often when he stared, others assumed he was absent-minded or dim-witted, but to his surprise Natala shifted back. Uncomfortable, or she wanted him to think she was uncomfortable. She met his gaze with something that might have been an apology, though she uttered no apologies when she spoke again.
"I can read Coran and Reili. That is not an unusual ability here, because the Bloodskins sometimes need to use messages or read from items they've stolen. The men have declared reading to be the work of women, so many of us can."
"Do you have a store of books you've been hiding from me?"
That pulled an apparently authentic smile from her. "How many books do you think they bring back from raids? Occasionally we receive a large and ornate book that can be traded, but those books are rarely useful for anything else. I've read all of them, and traded for more when I can, but it is... not a practical skill here."
Slaten looked at her for a moment before realizing that he was tilting his head the way she imitated. He briefly became distracted by thoughts of whether or not that was a mistake before simply pushing through them. "It seems useful to me. That is the only way that you know of the errants."
"You're right. The artifacts that the men bring back have always been my only insight into the outer world." Natala gestured down at the Yenith board between them. "So many beautiful objects like this one, displaying skill and craft far beyond ours. Since I was a child, those objects have been proof that the Bloodskins are not truly the mightiest of clans, but carrion birds feasting off the scraps of real nations."
"That is... a rather harsh way of expressing it. But yes, there is far more out there. I have traveled much further than this village and I still feel as though I am ignorant of most of the world."
"You've seen far more than I have."
"Yet you don't believe me when I say that strength does not rule everywhere."
Natala paused at that, but not to think: she was watching his face closely. Slaten doubted that he could hide his reactions from her, so he just let himself feel all of his ambivalent emotions about their relationship. She couldn't read the reactions on his face if he himself had no coherent response. He thought that there might have been a ghost of a smile, then she spoke.
"Many nights ago, you expressed some very high ideals about the way the world can be. I believe that you may be right on the surface, but underneath there is always violence. It is far too simple a solution to ever be absent from our lives."
"I don't know if that's true, but I believe that even if violence is the foundation of other beliefs, those beliefs still exist. They have substance enough to matter."
"Perhaps."
He drew back, considering her tone. "Are you only saying that to agree with me?"
"Perhaps." Natala laughed softly and began returning the Yenith pieces to their proper places. "If what I want matters, what I want right now is to play again. You will not defeat me so easily a second time."
He won the second game, this time switching his strategy and controlling the central mountain from the valleys. But he lost the third game very badly, and found that he didn't care.
~ ~ ~
Despite himself, Slaten found that he was happy in the Bloodskin village. He still spent his days training, and though he hadn't discovered the exact problem with his stamina, he enjoyed the work for its own sake. Since the Bloodskin arts had proved themselves in combat, he practiced them more fully. Though he didn't become as muscular as most Bloodskin warriors, he could feel the difference in strength.
Nights he spent with Natala, slowly finding new limits. Once he decided to separate himself into a skeptical core and an aspect of himself that behaved as if he trusted her, their interactions became much more relaxed. Natala certainly seemed more comfortable as well, insisting that they play Yenith every night even though she almost always beat him.
The one negative lay in his companions. Melal enjoyed his new status as a member of the clan by sleeping with multiple different women, including one case where he fought another warrior over someone. As he did so, Laeri grew more and more miserable. She never came to Slaten for reassurance, but he could see her expression and Natala relayed how depressed she behaved.
That night Natala had yet to arrive, so he simply sat and focused on his body. He had noticed that Bloodskin warriors rarely tested their strength by lifting heavy objects, unlike Corans, yet they regularly flexed their muscles. What he had thought of as vanity was actually an effective exercise, their "hot blood" fighting itself and leaving the muscles in considerable tension.
Though that method did not work for him, Slaten had adapted it. He tensed first his toes, then made the point of tension slowly move up his legs and through the rest of his body, using only a few muscles at a time. More importantly, he let his sein flow along with the movements. In his legs, he brought to mind countless memories of footwork. As he moved higher, he let those memories flow into the ache he felt after a long run. With each part of his body he tested, he embedded his sein deeper into his very flesh.
"You look busy." Natala leaned in, watching him. Slaten took a deep breath and let the tension slowly recede from his entire body.
"I was only waiting for you. Please, come in."
"Good. I have been thinking about tonight and I want to play Yenith right away."
As they set up the board, Slaten examined her closely. "I'm not sure I understand why you still enjoy this. You know that you're going to win. Do you just enjoy defeating me?"
"Not at all." She gave him a smile that was so much like their time before that he tensed. "I feel as though I'm still learning how to play, and with each game I understand something new. I have tried playing both sides in my mind, but I always make better progress when I have another mind to test my thoughts against."
They played their first game quietly, Slaten focusing and doing as well as he could. He nearly won, as Natala was attempting a strange strategy where she kept many of her pieces bunched together. It disrupted his own plans for a new strategy, leaving him wanting another game.
Before they could set up the board again, they began to hear a rhythmic slamming from a nearby partition. Not long after, it was joined by the sound of a woman moaning. Despite many nights ignoring such sounds, Slaten still found himself trying to turn away from it, uncomfortable with the loud display of something that should be private.
"Well, they're both trying rather hard." Natala cocked an ear to the wall and then shook her head. "I think he's trying to thrust a hole through the floor."
"Both trying...?"
"Her performance. From the sound of it, he walked in, removed his clothes, and began thrusting. You don't think those moans are real, do you?"
"I wasn't sure." Slaten had a dim awareness that women sometimes faked their pleasure, but did not consider himself any expert on the subject. "You can tell the difference?"
"Not from the sound alone. But I know these women, and I know how these encounters usually go. She moans to flatter him, and to make it end sooner."
"It is... rather loud." As they listened, her moans turned into screams. "Is it an insult, of a sort? Fooling men with such an extreme performance?"
"For some, yes. Don't worry, Slaten. If we had..." She stopped speaking immediately, realizing that she had made a mistake, but it was too late. He understand what she had meant to say and still insisted.
"What would you have done?"
"I would not have acted that way, because you don't think you can conquer the world with your cock. It would have been a realistic imitation to leave both of us happy."
An imitation. Slaten felt another surge of anger, frustratingly combined with a renewed awareness of Natala's body. When they played Yenith, he easily submerged himself in the mental activity so that he rarely thought about the fact that they were alone together in a small room. Yet now that awareness twisted together with his memories of her deception to become something truly ugly.
If he allowed it to grow, he didn't want to know what it would become. Slaten closed his eyes and spoke, his voice thick. "You didn't want that then, and you don't want it now. If you want me to trust you, you need to tell me if you will ever want that."
"Never."
He blinked, surprised at how quickly her answer came, not to mention how the blunt negative grated against his Oken upbringing. It wasn't that she was adamant in her refusal, and he saw real concern in her eyes. Just as before, she worried about how he would react. The difference was that this time, she was honest with him from the beginning... or at least she wanted the appearance of honesty.
Given that she was fully aware of his skepticism, she would never attempt such overt manipulation again. If she meant to deceive, it would be logical to say something that seemed to work against her. Indeed, that might be the only way that she could reach past his defenses, and it had nearly worked.
Or, if she had meant to be honest, she would do the same thing...
"I'm sorry, Slaten, but I wanted to tell you the truth. Now, I need you to tell me what you're thinking. Though I have sometimes entertained the fantasy that I can read men's emotions from their faces, people are not so consistent or rational as that. Please." She looked toward him with real desperation, or a good imitation of it. Either way, he realized that it might not matter.
"I'm not sure if that was calculated to deceive me again." He met her gaze and, as his thoughts came together, decided to merely express them. "But I realized that your fear of violent retaliation is unquestionably real, which means that a degree of trust is implicit in your truthfulness. Even if you revealed that trust in order to manipulate me, a deceptive trust is still a step closer to an honest relationship. So it would be equally true to say that I was manipulating you."
Natala grinned for a moment, he thought honestly pleased. Soon after, however, her smile faded to wistful embers. "I did wonder if it might be different, with you. I enjoy so many things about the time we spend together, I thought that I might enjoy that too. But I feel no different. I'm sorry."
"Why are you sorry?"
"You may not be a Bloodskin man, but you are a man. Since I like you, I would prefer that you had a partner in the furs who made you happy. Laeri, perhaps."
The abrupt turn forced a snort from him and he caught a glimpse of a sly grin from Natala. That playful manipulation seemed much more authentic than when she was being fully serious, and for the moment, he didn't care if it wasn't truthful. Given Natala's mind, perhaps the closest thing she had to truth was countless layers of different games.
"You didn't object earlier," she said. "I had anticipated that, but I wasn't certain. Because Bloodskin women exist for only a few purposes, I think being honest about myself would be seen as... monstrous."
Slaten merely shrugged. "Some fires burn hotter. Some burn in different directions. I would be surprised if some did not burn in directions I had never considered."
She smiled at him and he smiled back. Part of him wondered if she had designed this moment of connection, since it mirrored her earlier deceptions. Yet she did seem pleased at his acceptance. If she was faking that connection, that was her loss.
The moment was somewhat marred by the thumping and screaming, which renewed themselves louder during their lull.
Still smiling, Natala replaced the pieces on the board and began the game with her first move. When Slaten picked up his behemoth to respond, however, Natala let out a long sultry moan. He very nearly dropped the piece and stared at her.
"What are you doing?"
"If they're going to disrupt our night, I'm going to disrupt theirs." Her eyes gleamed with malicious glee. "Something to make her wonder and him question himself. Oooh, yes..."
Though Slaten tried to ignore her and play Yenith, it was nearly impossible. Even knowing the truth, part of his mind told him that Natala's gasping and moaning sounded completely authentic. They were barely distinguishable from those he remembered from his adolescent fumbling, perhaps slightly exaggerated.
Most irritating of all, Natala continued to play perfectly while he struggled to focus.
Refusing to let her keep the upper hand, Slaten receded within himself to a mindset of cold, sharp steel. He knew that other men experienced the world differently, but when he was in combat, everything else fell away. A woman could attack him stark naked and his mind would only consider how best to kill her. Though he had always received negative reactions when he told the truth of that to other men, it was part of him.
Now he turned that cold focus toward the board between them. Though Slaten did not consider himself a brilliant player, he had been thinking about the game. He remembered how Eraes had spoken about truly advanced strategies that stalled present conflicts in order to gain a subtle, almost imperceptible advantage in future board positions.
Piece by piece, he laid claim to a far future board. An elite one space too far, a behemoth on the edge of the mountain instead of in the valley, a scythe slightly vulnerable but not worth striking. None of them offered any immediate advantage, but many moves ahead they would matter.
Finally he moved off the mountain and claimed Natala's behemoth. He watched her face and almost believed that he could see her mind rapidly come to the realization that her planned retaliation would leave her vulnerable, then realize how precisely all of his pieces had been placed. For a moment, he saw her truly stunned.
