The Brightest Shadow, page 57
When he sat down, he had barely touched the stool when it was kicked out from under him.
Kolanin shifted his feet and tensed his body, remaining in place seated on the air. He calmly reached forward to pick up the long-tined fork in front of him, using it to slide a piece of meat into his mouth. "It is delicious, thank you." As he took another piece, Kolanin switched back to Coran. "The stool you have offered is also very comfortable."
That broke the tension, the majority of the warriors laughing uproariously. The one who had offered him the stool flushed in rage and several of the others seemed annoyed or at least not amused. Those would require watching if he continued working with the Telnaa.
One of the disgruntled warriors was the man on his right, who eyed him as they ate. He was trying to hide his hatred, but not very well. When Kolanin extended his fork to take another piece of meat, the man moved faster, spearing it with his fork and popping it into his mouth.
"Sorry, Deathspawn. Did you want that one?" He smirked as he chewed the meat. Kolanin responded with a neutral smile.
"No, you are welcome to it."
"Good." The warrior stared back at him, simply holding his fork ready.
When Kolanin tried to take another piece, it was again swept away before he could touch it. Kolanin simply redirected, taking another piece. But as he brought it back toward his mouth, the warrior actually jabbed out, hooking the tines of his fork and flicking the piece of meat off.
Though surprised, Kolanin reacted on instinct, lunging out to catch it again. This time he didn't try to pull the fork back, just flicked the meat back toward his mouth. Messy, but less risk of-
The warrior intercepted it before it reached his face, intentionally stabbing just in front of his eyes and spearing the meat before it could reach his mouth. Not violence, just the promise of violence. Kolanin saw the man's smirk from the corner of his eyes and knew that he thought he'd won this little contest.
So instead, Kolanin bit down on his fork. His teeth easily snapped through the wood, letting the meat drop to the ground and leaving the warrior holding only part of a handle. This got a more mixed response, though many of the warriors cheered appreciatively. The one who had challenged him stared at him, taken aback.
"Delicious," Kolanin said again. He didn't break eye contact as he chewed up and swallowed the remains of the wooden fork.
Not pleasant, but it drew laughter from the surrounding warriors and the man who had challenged him moved away angrily. That was about the best he could expect. Obviously not all the warriors would be happy with a Deathspawn in their midst, but he only needed a majority to approve so that it would not be inappropriate to move onward.
Kolanin stayed with the warriors for a while longer, without any more physical challenges aside from sitting on the air. A few chatted with him, but only lightly. He noted that there weren't many female warriors in this tribe and wondered if it was cultural or only a coincidence. That made him think of Tani, which was a more bitter thought than he expected. Hopefully she was well and not swept up in a murderous quest.
When he had eaten for long enough, Kolanin stood up. He pretended to lift the imaginary stool and handed it back to the warrior who had invited him to sit, thanking him. That got another laugh from the others, so he moved onward to the highest table.
Unlike the previous ones, it was made of wood, both more practical than stone and a sign of wealth for the Telnaa. They played no games, simply offering him a space between an old man and an old woman. When he sat, both turned inward toward them.
"Are you Dhakedi and Anememor?" Kolanin asked. They nodded, and the woman spoke.
"You may eat if you are hungry, but it is not required."
Anememor nodded in agreement. "You do not need to follow our customs."
Kolanin almost clasped his hands in response but decided against it. "I am sorry if I caused offense."
"No, there is no offense. It is more than most Corans have ever given us in negotiations."
Dhakedi chuckled. "We are simply old, Kolanin. We have had time enough to enjoy our customs. It is better to speak plainly."
"Very well." Kolanin glanced at the food on the table, richer than the previous but mostly uneaten. He didn't touch any of it, instead meeting the Rhen on either side of him with a serious glance. "I want peace. Some of my allies want war. Which one we have will depend on you."
That frankness got a chuckle from both sides of him, though their eyes remained serious. The two elders exchanged a glance, then Anememor spoke. "You have spoken plainly, so we will as well. Are you coming to us as the soft palm of peace, while wielding your allies as the hard fist of war?"
"No. War with all three Coran nations is inevitable, but I believe that it does not need to spread into the Chorhan Expanse. But even if East Corah fell, the march into West Corah would be more difficult. If that happened, we could not afford an enemy on our northern flank. This is why Aryabaus has harassed the Nelee, and he may focus on the Telnaa as well, if he believes you stand in his way."
"Do you think you can succeed?" Dhakedi eyed him seriously. "The armored warriors of East Corah are fierce, and there are a few in West Corah who might even rival the Four Winds."
That was a difficult question, even with them speaking plainly. Kolanin decided to speak more honestly than he had initially intended. "I believe the only question of our success is how many warriors we will need to bring. If one army is defeated, another will be sent. If lesser warriors fall, Orphos will send stronger. But my hope is that you need deal with only one."
Dhakedi smiled at that and nodded, while Anememor spoke up in a lower voice. "So you would have us treat with you. Preventing our warriors from going to war is one thing, but I think that you want more."
"I understand that the Rhen are considering another Confederation and the possibility of going to war."
Both elders nodded seriously at that and after a time Dhakedi spoke. "There is no tribe that is not uncertain about how to deal with your people. Except perhaps the Yevee, who want war. We would prefer that there be peace at all times, of course."
Kolanin frowned. "Didn't you skirmish with the Nelee earlier not so many days ago?"
"That is not war." Anememor waved a hand dismissively. "Simple conflicts between young warriors in which they receive a few scars and stories to tell. The Yevee raids are also not war, though they may be violent. They want resources and honor." Anememor's eyes grew hard, capturing his gaze. "War is when we fight for our survival. You have not seen the Telnaa tribe at war, and you do not wish to see the Rhen go to war."
"No, I do not." Kolanin let that sentence stand and they remained silent for a time.
Eventually they spoke again, more comfortably now that their terms had been set. Kolanin believed that they were honest in saying that the Telnaa did not want war, they were simply aware of their precarious position. He learned of completely new rumors about the Nelee being on the fence, considering pushing for war in the next Confederation.
Above all, Kolanin made what he believed to be an authentic connection between himself and the tribe's elders. They made few promises to him, which was better than false promises. For now, they agreed not to raid anywhere near the border where Aryabaus operated, as he thought he communicated clearly to them how unwise it would be to challenge the mansthein military directly.
Having reached the final table, Kolanin wasn't actually certain how to leave. When they bid him go, he started to move around the side, but Dhakedi shook her head.
"No, you have behaved as an honored guest. You may leave through the exit."
She pointed toward the pillars behind them - they were as open as the rest, but Kolanin had mentally shifted to thinking of them as a wall. Taking her words at face value, he clasped his hands in the Telnaa style, bowed respectfully in the mansthein style, and then took his leave through the pillars.
That had gone well, he thought. Even Aryabaus would have to admit that avoiding another front to their war would be a benefit, and the Telnaa obviously had little love for Corans. With luck, the military could obtain their goals in a single war and not try to conquer the entire Expanse.
As Kolanin stepped out from under the roof, he realized that someone stood behind him, leaning against the outside of one of the pillars with his presence almost completely masked. Though it might be another test, Kolanin felt something that made him uneasy and so he turned sharply to look.
"You weren't spawning very much death today." The voice came from a tall Rhen man, built like a warrior and carrying several spears on his back. Kolanin had two immediate impressions. First, the man was not from the Telnaa tribe.
Second, the man had not come for peace.
"Do you need something from me?" Kolanin continued walking further from the roof, making the warrior follow him. Turning his back to the warrior ran against his instincts, but Kolanin suppressed them and simply prepared himself to move quickly if necessary.
"Yes, I do. I would like to help you."
"I don't believe you're of the Telnaa."
"That's right, I'm not." The warrior moved faster, outpacing him and coming to stand in his path. He folded his arms and smiled coldly. "And I don't want to help you with this little peace project, either. I want to help you destroy the Coran resistance."
"Why?"
"I have my reasons. I tried to treat with Koreinan Aryabaus before, but though I helped him with everything he wanted, he dismissed me once the matter was done without even speaking to me directly."
"Aryabaus generally considers all humans to be the same." Kolanin slid his arms into his sleeves with confidence he didn't truly feel, not flinching back from the man's gaze. This warrior might be a killer, but for all that he did not think of himself that way, Kolanin was as well.
"Yes, I figured that. But you don't." The warrior abruptly eased his posture, no longer threatening violence. He even smiled, though that smile was not comforting. "My name is Subenor. I believe that I could help you with your Coran problems."
"How so?"
"You cannot fight them as you would an army - they will simply melt away. But they cannot work effectively unless they have the support of the villages."
"Considering they are mostly defending those villages, that support would be difficult to shake."
Subenor grinned. "Then punish the villages. As brutally as necessary until they fear the resistance and give up their location and all their supporters."
"I don't think that would work." Kolanin shifted and barely managed to keep the discomfort off his face. Perhaps Subenor didn't understand, but he doubted it. "The resistance comes mostly from East Corah and doesn't trust the Corans in the Expanse. They've intentionally chosen a hiding place that doesn't require locals to keep secrets, and they don't draw much support from local groups."
"But they do fight for them. If every time they strike, we kill a large number of civilians, soon enough the Corans will no longer accept them as their resistance." He said the words easily, almost like a young warrior who didn't understand the consequences. Looking into his eyes, Kolanin was sure that he understood. "Is that not a good strategy, Deathspawn?"
"You don't care about my approval, you just want permission to follow through with your brutal plan."
Subenor shrugged and nodded.
'You will not get it from me."
"Very well. But I want to talk to Koreinan Aryabaus."
Unfortunately, Kolanin had no way of preventing him from doing that. He nodded grudgingly. "Aryabaus is interested in meeting with humans willing to cooperate, so something can be arranged. I still need to meet with several more groups, and I would not have you travel with me. But once I am done here, I will return east to confer with him."
"Many thanks, Deathspawn." Subenor clasped his hands together in the Telnaa gesture of respect and peace. Kolanin responded back on instinct.
Neither of them believed it.
Chapter 43
-
"The Legend is not a tidy path, it is an avalanche. The forces of destiny tumble toward us, and though we may not be able to discern its exact path or the movement of every rock, the result is inevitable. Absolutely nothing can stand before it, so what matters is to move along with it. There may be some suffering along the way, but only by joining the avalanche can we find our purpose."
- excerpt from a letter written by Lady Karerela of East Corah
-
Tani fell deeper within herself, enjoying the flow of her sein. Or at least trying to. The flow of sein held a simple joy normally, but it wore thin the longer it extended. According to Master Balunel, her effort wasn't wasted, because her meditation stirred the pools of sein within her and thus enlarged them. That was a small comfort when what she really wanted was to experience it more deeply.
She smelled mint strongly and tasted spices even when she relaxed, yet nothing else. The only new sensations she'd gained from her efforts were a twinge in her lower back, exhaustion that left her body feeling heavy, and an increasing thirst. Constantly thinking about sein through water metaphors did not help.
Deciding to take a break, Tani rose to her feet and picked up one of the gourds of water. As she drank deeply, not caring that some spilled down her chin, she examined the rest of the room.
Often there were resistance members she didn't know well, which left her on edge, but at the moment the room had a comfortable feel. Master Balunel plucked at his harp, which was still terribly tuned yet somehow less annoying the more she heard it. He was giving Celivia some sort of special training, though it seemed to involve mostly staring into a bowl of water.
Meanwhile, Slaten moved in front of one of the practice targets. It looked like he was mindlessly repeating the same exercises, but she had felt his sein earlier and realized that he was in fact meditating, trying to deepen his understanding in the same way that she was. Most likely he was getting tired and wouldn't stop even when he wasn't making progress, though. Tani considered giving them both a break by asking to spar... and then saw the boy and frowned.
Tani didn't know his name and didn't particularly want to know it. That wasn't entirely fair to him, nor was it fair to call him a boy. She just didn't like how the young man often showed up in the training room and watched them, particularly when his eyes were on her. In his defense, he was watching Slaten with a similar expression of awe.
She headed in that direction, struggling to move her tired legs. When she approached, she saw the young man's face light up. "Oh, Tani! Are you going to practice throwing your knives?"
"Not right now."
His face fell, then rebounded into a smile. "I can't tell you how much it impresses me. Not that Slaten and Celivia aren't impressive! But I can understand just striking harder and faster - the way you make your knives curve in midair is amazing!"
The young man's unrestrained excitement brought a smile to her face despite everything. "I believe I've seen you watching us before. What's your name?"
"I'm Walernel." He grinned at her and Tani looked at him more seriously. Five or more years younger than her, still at an awkward age, limbs too long for his body. All he wore was the simple Coran jacket and pants she had seen among the lowest soldiers of the resistance. "I'm supposed to be training to grasp sein, but I can't help but come watch you. It's just so... so... I don't know, but I'm impressed! I know Hanfel and the others are stronger, but I can't understand them at all. But to see someone not so much older than me with such power..."
It felt odd to have someone view her that way when there were so many people who stood higher, yet she supposed that it was true from his perspective. She'd come far enough in her training that there was a substantial difference between her and an untrained person. Yet it still felt unreal that anyone could look up to her when she still had so much to learn. Since his enthusiasm seemed so sincere, Tani smiled back at him.
"Have you been able to feel sein?"
"I've tasted it! It tastes just like bread - at first I thought I was just hungry!" Walernel laughed to himself, not caring that she didn't laugh. "But I can only taste it sometimes, when I'm not trying. Sometimes it feels like I'll never figure it out."
"Don't worry, you'll be able to taste it more consistently soon. Taking the first step is most important."
To her surprise, his face fell. "Slaten said that too and tried to help me, but I couldn't understand his lesson. I don't think I'm a very good student."
"I'm sure that's not true. Just keep working: focus on meditating sometimes, but when you get tired, relax and just try to be aware of the sein within you without forcing it."
"Oh! I've been trying hard all the time, maybe that would be better..." The simple piece of advice seemed to make a huge difference to Walernel, who thanked her profusely. Tani smiled and accepted his thanks, trying to disengage.
When Walernel eventually realized that she was going to talk to Slaten, he backed off. Though he said he would go, she saw him linger at the edge of the entrance, watching. Hoping they might spar, perhaps, though Tani's body felt too heavy for that.
How did Slaten maintain his smooth forms through so many repetitions? He stared at the target with utter fixation, first thrusting and then cutting. Sein flowed through him strongly enough that she smelled the mint, yet he prevented it from destroying the targets, focusing it within himself. After another repetition he stopped, though he spoke without turning to her.
"Walernel spoke too humbly. He is a normal student, I am merely an exceptionally poor teacher."
Tani went to lean against the wall beside his target and Slaten finally met her gaze. She gave him an encouraging smile. "I don't think that's true. Talking to you about feeling sein, I felt like you helped a lot. It was certainly clearer than lessons from Master Balunel."
"Yes, but that is unsurprising. We are exploring the same things and so it is only logical that we can communicate easily. A good teacher could explain to those who don't understand." Slaten set down his sword and returned to a normal posture. "You seem to be working diligently. You must be close."
Kolanin shifted his feet and tensed his body, remaining in place seated on the air. He calmly reached forward to pick up the long-tined fork in front of him, using it to slide a piece of meat into his mouth. "It is delicious, thank you." As he took another piece, Kolanin switched back to Coran. "The stool you have offered is also very comfortable."
That broke the tension, the majority of the warriors laughing uproariously. The one who had offered him the stool flushed in rage and several of the others seemed annoyed or at least not amused. Those would require watching if he continued working with the Telnaa.
One of the disgruntled warriors was the man on his right, who eyed him as they ate. He was trying to hide his hatred, but not very well. When Kolanin extended his fork to take another piece of meat, the man moved faster, spearing it with his fork and popping it into his mouth.
"Sorry, Deathspawn. Did you want that one?" He smirked as he chewed the meat. Kolanin responded with a neutral smile.
"No, you are welcome to it."
"Good." The warrior stared back at him, simply holding his fork ready.
When Kolanin tried to take another piece, it was again swept away before he could touch it. Kolanin simply redirected, taking another piece. But as he brought it back toward his mouth, the warrior actually jabbed out, hooking the tines of his fork and flicking the piece of meat off.
Though surprised, Kolanin reacted on instinct, lunging out to catch it again. This time he didn't try to pull the fork back, just flicked the meat back toward his mouth. Messy, but less risk of-
The warrior intercepted it before it reached his face, intentionally stabbing just in front of his eyes and spearing the meat before it could reach his mouth. Not violence, just the promise of violence. Kolanin saw the man's smirk from the corner of his eyes and knew that he thought he'd won this little contest.
So instead, Kolanin bit down on his fork. His teeth easily snapped through the wood, letting the meat drop to the ground and leaving the warrior holding only part of a handle. This got a more mixed response, though many of the warriors cheered appreciatively. The one who had challenged him stared at him, taken aback.
"Delicious," Kolanin said again. He didn't break eye contact as he chewed up and swallowed the remains of the wooden fork.
Not pleasant, but it drew laughter from the surrounding warriors and the man who had challenged him moved away angrily. That was about the best he could expect. Obviously not all the warriors would be happy with a Deathspawn in their midst, but he only needed a majority to approve so that it would not be inappropriate to move onward.
Kolanin stayed with the warriors for a while longer, without any more physical challenges aside from sitting on the air. A few chatted with him, but only lightly. He noted that there weren't many female warriors in this tribe and wondered if it was cultural or only a coincidence. That made him think of Tani, which was a more bitter thought than he expected. Hopefully she was well and not swept up in a murderous quest.
When he had eaten for long enough, Kolanin stood up. He pretended to lift the imaginary stool and handed it back to the warrior who had invited him to sit, thanking him. That got another laugh from the others, so he moved onward to the highest table.
Unlike the previous ones, it was made of wood, both more practical than stone and a sign of wealth for the Telnaa. They played no games, simply offering him a space between an old man and an old woman. When he sat, both turned inward toward them.
"Are you Dhakedi and Anememor?" Kolanin asked. They nodded, and the woman spoke.
"You may eat if you are hungry, but it is not required."
Anememor nodded in agreement. "You do not need to follow our customs."
Kolanin almost clasped his hands in response but decided against it. "I am sorry if I caused offense."
"No, there is no offense. It is more than most Corans have ever given us in negotiations."
Dhakedi chuckled. "We are simply old, Kolanin. We have had time enough to enjoy our customs. It is better to speak plainly."
"Very well." Kolanin glanced at the food on the table, richer than the previous but mostly uneaten. He didn't touch any of it, instead meeting the Rhen on either side of him with a serious glance. "I want peace. Some of my allies want war. Which one we have will depend on you."
That frankness got a chuckle from both sides of him, though their eyes remained serious. The two elders exchanged a glance, then Anememor spoke. "You have spoken plainly, so we will as well. Are you coming to us as the soft palm of peace, while wielding your allies as the hard fist of war?"
"No. War with all three Coran nations is inevitable, but I believe that it does not need to spread into the Chorhan Expanse. But even if East Corah fell, the march into West Corah would be more difficult. If that happened, we could not afford an enemy on our northern flank. This is why Aryabaus has harassed the Nelee, and he may focus on the Telnaa as well, if he believes you stand in his way."
"Do you think you can succeed?" Dhakedi eyed him seriously. "The armored warriors of East Corah are fierce, and there are a few in West Corah who might even rival the Four Winds."
That was a difficult question, even with them speaking plainly. Kolanin decided to speak more honestly than he had initially intended. "I believe the only question of our success is how many warriors we will need to bring. If one army is defeated, another will be sent. If lesser warriors fall, Orphos will send stronger. But my hope is that you need deal with only one."
Dhakedi smiled at that and nodded, while Anememor spoke up in a lower voice. "So you would have us treat with you. Preventing our warriors from going to war is one thing, but I think that you want more."
"I understand that the Rhen are considering another Confederation and the possibility of going to war."
Both elders nodded seriously at that and after a time Dhakedi spoke. "There is no tribe that is not uncertain about how to deal with your people. Except perhaps the Yevee, who want war. We would prefer that there be peace at all times, of course."
Kolanin frowned. "Didn't you skirmish with the Nelee earlier not so many days ago?"
"That is not war." Anememor waved a hand dismissively. "Simple conflicts between young warriors in which they receive a few scars and stories to tell. The Yevee raids are also not war, though they may be violent. They want resources and honor." Anememor's eyes grew hard, capturing his gaze. "War is when we fight for our survival. You have not seen the Telnaa tribe at war, and you do not wish to see the Rhen go to war."
"No, I do not." Kolanin let that sentence stand and they remained silent for a time.
Eventually they spoke again, more comfortably now that their terms had been set. Kolanin believed that they were honest in saying that the Telnaa did not want war, they were simply aware of their precarious position. He learned of completely new rumors about the Nelee being on the fence, considering pushing for war in the next Confederation.
Above all, Kolanin made what he believed to be an authentic connection between himself and the tribe's elders. They made few promises to him, which was better than false promises. For now, they agreed not to raid anywhere near the border where Aryabaus operated, as he thought he communicated clearly to them how unwise it would be to challenge the mansthein military directly.
Having reached the final table, Kolanin wasn't actually certain how to leave. When they bid him go, he started to move around the side, but Dhakedi shook her head.
"No, you have behaved as an honored guest. You may leave through the exit."
She pointed toward the pillars behind them - they were as open as the rest, but Kolanin had mentally shifted to thinking of them as a wall. Taking her words at face value, he clasped his hands in the Telnaa style, bowed respectfully in the mansthein style, and then took his leave through the pillars.
That had gone well, he thought. Even Aryabaus would have to admit that avoiding another front to their war would be a benefit, and the Telnaa obviously had little love for Corans. With luck, the military could obtain their goals in a single war and not try to conquer the entire Expanse.
As Kolanin stepped out from under the roof, he realized that someone stood behind him, leaning against the outside of one of the pillars with his presence almost completely masked. Though it might be another test, Kolanin felt something that made him uneasy and so he turned sharply to look.
"You weren't spawning very much death today." The voice came from a tall Rhen man, built like a warrior and carrying several spears on his back. Kolanin had two immediate impressions. First, the man was not from the Telnaa tribe.
Second, the man had not come for peace.
"Do you need something from me?" Kolanin continued walking further from the roof, making the warrior follow him. Turning his back to the warrior ran against his instincts, but Kolanin suppressed them and simply prepared himself to move quickly if necessary.
"Yes, I do. I would like to help you."
"I don't believe you're of the Telnaa."
"That's right, I'm not." The warrior moved faster, outpacing him and coming to stand in his path. He folded his arms and smiled coldly. "And I don't want to help you with this little peace project, either. I want to help you destroy the Coran resistance."
"Why?"
"I have my reasons. I tried to treat with Koreinan Aryabaus before, but though I helped him with everything he wanted, he dismissed me once the matter was done without even speaking to me directly."
"Aryabaus generally considers all humans to be the same." Kolanin slid his arms into his sleeves with confidence he didn't truly feel, not flinching back from the man's gaze. This warrior might be a killer, but for all that he did not think of himself that way, Kolanin was as well.
"Yes, I figured that. But you don't." The warrior abruptly eased his posture, no longer threatening violence. He even smiled, though that smile was not comforting. "My name is Subenor. I believe that I could help you with your Coran problems."
"How so?"
"You cannot fight them as you would an army - they will simply melt away. But they cannot work effectively unless they have the support of the villages."
"Considering they are mostly defending those villages, that support would be difficult to shake."
Subenor grinned. "Then punish the villages. As brutally as necessary until they fear the resistance and give up their location and all their supporters."
"I don't think that would work." Kolanin shifted and barely managed to keep the discomfort off his face. Perhaps Subenor didn't understand, but he doubted it. "The resistance comes mostly from East Corah and doesn't trust the Corans in the Expanse. They've intentionally chosen a hiding place that doesn't require locals to keep secrets, and they don't draw much support from local groups."
"But they do fight for them. If every time they strike, we kill a large number of civilians, soon enough the Corans will no longer accept them as their resistance." He said the words easily, almost like a young warrior who didn't understand the consequences. Looking into his eyes, Kolanin was sure that he understood. "Is that not a good strategy, Deathspawn?"
"You don't care about my approval, you just want permission to follow through with your brutal plan."
Subenor shrugged and nodded.
'You will not get it from me."
"Very well. But I want to talk to Koreinan Aryabaus."
Unfortunately, Kolanin had no way of preventing him from doing that. He nodded grudgingly. "Aryabaus is interested in meeting with humans willing to cooperate, so something can be arranged. I still need to meet with several more groups, and I would not have you travel with me. But once I am done here, I will return east to confer with him."
"Many thanks, Deathspawn." Subenor clasped his hands together in the Telnaa gesture of respect and peace. Kolanin responded back on instinct.
Neither of them believed it.
Chapter 43
-
"The Legend is not a tidy path, it is an avalanche. The forces of destiny tumble toward us, and though we may not be able to discern its exact path or the movement of every rock, the result is inevitable. Absolutely nothing can stand before it, so what matters is to move along with it. There may be some suffering along the way, but only by joining the avalanche can we find our purpose."
- excerpt from a letter written by Lady Karerela of East Corah
-
Tani fell deeper within herself, enjoying the flow of her sein. Or at least trying to. The flow of sein held a simple joy normally, but it wore thin the longer it extended. According to Master Balunel, her effort wasn't wasted, because her meditation stirred the pools of sein within her and thus enlarged them. That was a small comfort when what she really wanted was to experience it more deeply.
She smelled mint strongly and tasted spices even when she relaxed, yet nothing else. The only new sensations she'd gained from her efforts were a twinge in her lower back, exhaustion that left her body feeling heavy, and an increasing thirst. Constantly thinking about sein through water metaphors did not help.
Deciding to take a break, Tani rose to her feet and picked up one of the gourds of water. As she drank deeply, not caring that some spilled down her chin, she examined the rest of the room.
Often there were resistance members she didn't know well, which left her on edge, but at the moment the room had a comfortable feel. Master Balunel plucked at his harp, which was still terribly tuned yet somehow less annoying the more she heard it. He was giving Celivia some sort of special training, though it seemed to involve mostly staring into a bowl of water.
Meanwhile, Slaten moved in front of one of the practice targets. It looked like he was mindlessly repeating the same exercises, but she had felt his sein earlier and realized that he was in fact meditating, trying to deepen his understanding in the same way that she was. Most likely he was getting tired and wouldn't stop even when he wasn't making progress, though. Tani considered giving them both a break by asking to spar... and then saw the boy and frowned.
Tani didn't know his name and didn't particularly want to know it. That wasn't entirely fair to him, nor was it fair to call him a boy. She just didn't like how the young man often showed up in the training room and watched them, particularly when his eyes were on her. In his defense, he was watching Slaten with a similar expression of awe.
She headed in that direction, struggling to move her tired legs. When she approached, she saw the young man's face light up. "Oh, Tani! Are you going to practice throwing your knives?"
"Not right now."
His face fell, then rebounded into a smile. "I can't tell you how much it impresses me. Not that Slaten and Celivia aren't impressive! But I can understand just striking harder and faster - the way you make your knives curve in midair is amazing!"
The young man's unrestrained excitement brought a smile to her face despite everything. "I believe I've seen you watching us before. What's your name?"
"I'm Walernel." He grinned at her and Tani looked at him more seriously. Five or more years younger than her, still at an awkward age, limbs too long for his body. All he wore was the simple Coran jacket and pants she had seen among the lowest soldiers of the resistance. "I'm supposed to be training to grasp sein, but I can't help but come watch you. It's just so... so... I don't know, but I'm impressed! I know Hanfel and the others are stronger, but I can't understand them at all. But to see someone not so much older than me with such power..."
It felt odd to have someone view her that way when there were so many people who stood higher, yet she supposed that it was true from his perspective. She'd come far enough in her training that there was a substantial difference between her and an untrained person. Yet it still felt unreal that anyone could look up to her when she still had so much to learn. Since his enthusiasm seemed so sincere, Tani smiled back at him.
"Have you been able to feel sein?"
"I've tasted it! It tastes just like bread - at first I thought I was just hungry!" Walernel laughed to himself, not caring that she didn't laugh. "But I can only taste it sometimes, when I'm not trying. Sometimes it feels like I'll never figure it out."
"Don't worry, you'll be able to taste it more consistently soon. Taking the first step is most important."
To her surprise, his face fell. "Slaten said that too and tried to help me, but I couldn't understand his lesson. I don't think I'm a very good student."
"I'm sure that's not true. Just keep working: focus on meditating sometimes, but when you get tired, relax and just try to be aware of the sein within you without forcing it."
"Oh! I've been trying hard all the time, maybe that would be better..." The simple piece of advice seemed to make a huge difference to Walernel, who thanked her profusely. Tani smiled and accepted his thanks, trying to disengage.
When Walernel eventually realized that she was going to talk to Slaten, he backed off. Though he said he would go, she saw him linger at the edge of the entrance, watching. Hoping they might spar, perhaps, though Tani's body felt too heavy for that.
How did Slaten maintain his smooth forms through so many repetitions? He stared at the target with utter fixation, first thrusting and then cutting. Sein flowed through him strongly enough that she smelled the mint, yet he prevented it from destroying the targets, focusing it within himself. After another repetition he stopped, though he spoke without turning to her.
"Walernel spoke too humbly. He is a normal student, I am merely an exceptionally poor teacher."
Tani went to lean against the wall beside his target and Slaten finally met her gaze. She gave him an encouraging smile. "I don't think that's true. Talking to you about feeling sein, I felt like you helped a lot. It was certainly clearer than lessons from Master Balunel."
"Yes, but that is unsurprising. We are exploring the same things and so it is only logical that we can communicate easily. A good teacher could explain to those who don't understand." Slaten set down his sword and returned to a normal posture. "You seem to be working diligently. You must be close."
