Obsessed with the Heartbreaker: An MM College Romance, page 12
Other students who had been eavesdropping chuckled to themselves lightheartedly as Keller blushed the tiniest bit. I had no grand ideas that he was secretly in love with me or anything. His embarrassment was purely about getting a verbal lashing in public.
Keller glared at me. “I’m not jealous. But I will be very happy when the Heartbreaker finally dumps your ass for all to see.”
“I’m not with him,” I said between my teeth, because damn, he was getting to me.
He chuckled. “Everyone saw—”
“You sound awfully confident about something that happened at a party that you weren’t even invited to,” Oliver said, suddenly appearing beside me and putting his stuff on the table. “Is your life that boring that you have to get your kicks from gossiping about other people’s sex lives, Keller? Or are you secretly in love with the Heartbreaker?”
Well, that I didn’t like the sound of, even if it was said just as a jab.
The Professor chose that time to enter the class and everyone, including Keller, went to their seats and settled, quieting down and getting ready to start.
“Had he been grilling you for long?” Oliver whispered as he took out his laptop and a notebook.
“Just the usual.”
“And is it true? That he’s also shooting for your internship?”
I closed my eyes again.
Fuck.
“Yes. It’s like he’s doing it on purpose.” Just to spite me.
I’d been going to my advisor’s office this morning, when, by chance, I found out that Keller was also applying for the internship I wanted. There had been several I’d selected as okay candidates, but this one was by far the best. It would be at a company whose name in my resume would open endless doors and would help people look over the fact that I was a regimented, stiff guy, and let them see that I was more than capable.
But Keller? As much as I was number one where he was two, he had an ability to kiss ass that was unmatched, not to mention a charming smile that he could turn on and off at will.
Two things I completely lacked that might cost me my ticket to securing my future.
It was why I had to study my ass off now to ensure I would still be number one in all of my classes, so that at least I could objectively have that over him.
“Hey, that sucks, but you’ll be fine, okay? Don’t even worry about it. Only idiots would choose him over you.”
Spoken like a true friend.
More and more, I realized that Oliver was someone I could truly confide in and trust, which made me want to just introduce him properly to my best friends at some point.
While I’d technically made some short introductions, we hadn’t hung out yet, but not for a lack of trying. I hadn’t really seen Oliver hang around people he looked close to on campus, but every time I suggested he come and hang out, he had something coming up.
We all had our issues, so I wasn’t going to push it.
In any case, his words of comfort didn’t really help. He told me that because he knew me, but employers wouldn’t. I always came across as quiet, reserved, and of few words. I wasn’t instantly comfortable around other people like Henry was, for example. I couldn’t charm them into feeding me grapes and rubbing my feet if I wanted to while still being an asshole to them, which Henry was no doubt capable of, and that had always been one of my greatest insecurities.
One I didn’t like to speak of.
Because I knew that if I voiced all of these out loud, if I told Oliver or Eliot or Scott about my worries about my internships, they would only dismiss them. They would tell me that I was making a big deal out of something insignificant but it wasn’t.
This was my life. I was the first person in my family to go to college and I needed to prove to them and the Campbells and myself that I was worthy of my Andino last name. That I could make a name for myself, that I could make myself succeed with grit and determination and stubborn hard work.
“And speaking of the party,” Oliver said, still whispering. “Is it true that you got involved with Henry?”
I pondered what to tell him and settled on a half-truth. “I was in the middle of a pissing contest, but otherwise…”
Well, not a half-truth. More of a three-quarters lie, but so what?
I couldn’t very well tell him that Henry had made come so hard, I thought I might have blacked out for a second.
Or that I still hadn’t washed my dirty T-shirt, because on the part that wasn’t stained by his come, it smelled of Henry and his shampoo.
It would make me sound like a creep.
“Oh. That sucks. But Keller wasn’t completely wrong, you know? Getting involved with the Heartbreaker is bad news. I know trouble when I see it, and Henry Campbell has it tattooed on his forehead.”
“Nothing’s going on,” I insisted, whether to convince him or me, I didn’t know.
Oliver ignored it, though. “It’s not like I wouldn’t hit it, you know? Guy’s one of the most attractive people in this college.”
The most attractive, I wanted to correct, but I refrained. “You like Henry?” I asked, knuckles going white.
“Like?” Oliver chuckled lowly and stopped, waiting for the Professor to turn to keep talking. “Strong word. I do, however, find him attractive, like everyone else. Or don’t you find him attractive?”
I shrugged. “I guess.”
Oliver’s grin could probably be seen from Mars. “You’re the worst liar I’ve ever seen, Antony Andino.”
I rolled my eyes and hoped that I wouldn’t blush, focusing instead on the class. Like I should have been doing.
Like I should always do, instead of focusing on heartbreakers that I could never keep.
* * *
Later in the day, early in the afternoon, I sat in the grass of one of the college lawns, getting some vitamin D while furiously writing in my notebook.
Flashes of the other night with Henry had kept on coming to me during the day, just like they did yesterday. I couldn’t get over how hot it had been, how good and right it had felt to do that with him, how comfortable he’d made me feel.
I still didn’t know how I felt about it. It had obviously been good, but…was it something I wanted to happen again? The answer was obviously yes. But did I dare trudge through these already muddy waters? Because I needed to remember my favor to Connell. There was also the fact that I didn’t need any more distractions from my goals, and Henry Campbell was already threatening to overtake every inch of my mind as it was.
How we’d proceed after the other night was still up in the air. A part of me was dreading seeing him again.
The other was too eager to care about anything else.
“Ant! There you are.” Eliot and Scott plopped down beside me. “Why are you studying again? Or is it homework? You’ve always been very diligent, but this is a bit overkill, don’t you think?”
I’m doing this now so I can go with Henry if he calls me later.
I wasn’t going to tell them that.
It might come off as a little too desperate—both to keep my position as number one and to see Henry.
My friends had known me forever, and I knew I could tell them anything, but right now, I felt too raw to talk about it.
“Don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll achieve work-life balance at some point in the next twenty years. For now, I’ll content myself with getting vitamin D every other week.”
Eliot fake-punched me in the shoulder, and I closed up my notebook, allowing myself at least some time to be with my friends.
It wasn’t like I’d managed to concentrate much, anyway.
“How are your history classes going?” I asked him.
He groaned as Scott grinned. “Badly. They give me so many interesting facts but my hand just has no time to get them all written down. I’ll have to start taking notes on my laptop, and you know how much I hate them.”
He hated how tidy note-taking apps were. Eliot liked his notes messy and with lots of scribbles.
“You can always print them out and make them messy later,” Scott said, thinking the same as me. He took out an apple from his backpack and bit into it. Still chewing, he added, “You could also request that your Professors go slower in class, tell them that they’re messing with your messy zen.”
Eliot gave Scott a look. “You tell them. I’m sure they’d listen.”
Scott shrugged. “Maybe not anymore.”
Our best friend had been getting more and more relaxed with himself ever since he started dating Travis—Boxer bad boy, recently graduated. He’d always felt the pressure of being the perfect Prince, as people liked to call him, but seeing him now, how relaxed he had become, how okay he was with not being liked by his Professors or being their favorite, was something to behold.
Even Eliot was doing amazing. He had just switched his major, a decision that hadn’t come without hardship, but we were all supporting him in chasing his History-filled dreams, no one more so than his boyfriend.
And me?
I was chasing dreams of my own.
I just hoped that in a year, I might feel as relaxed and satisfied as my best friends did.
Conversation ebbed and flowed, and we got talking about the things Eliot overheard the students in his class talking about, which seemed both fascinating and horrifying to him. Apparently, some of them liked to LARP, by which he meant they liked to role-play Lord of the Rings scenes, and from his face I could already tell that he was both shocked and jealous that he was just finding out about this. I could already see that in no time, he’d stop acting like he cared nothing for it and would eventually get Scott and me to accompany him to one of these events, which…wasn’t the worst thing in the world.
But you know. We’d let Eliot come to terms with it on his own.
“Well, I heard from a girl in my study group that Ant here was involved in drama the other night at the frat party.”
“What?” Eliot glared at me. “And you let us find out from other people?”
“There was no drama.” Lies. “It was nothing. Not worth mentioning.”
They both eyed me suspiciously. Even if my face didn’t betray me most of the time, they’d known me almost twenty years—as I had them. It was hard to keep secrets from each other.
“Are you and Henry getting chummy again? Like in the old days?”
He sounded like it had been thirty years ago, and not three.
But thankfully, he only thought we’d been friends, which made it all too easy to say, “Yes, El. I, in fact, like to cuddle Henry all night, and he’s told me that he’s vying to steal your title as my best friend.”
“Ha. As if he could.”
Scott laughed, almost falling backwards, and my grin was already hurting my cheeks. As sassy and grumpy as Eliot could be, he was also quite protective of us.
“Don’t get jealous if Ant gets a new friend. You’re making new friends, too,” Scott told him.
They started talking about something else, something I didn’t catch, because right then, I caught sight of none other than the Heartbreaker across the lawn, looking in my direction.
He was alone, hair fluttering in the breeze, and even from far away I could see the playful tilt of his eyebrow.
My insides fluttered.
Don’t get the wrong idea.
“I just remembered I have something to do,” I said, getting up and brushing away the grass sticking to my jeans.
“What? Just now?”
“Yep. I’ll see you later in the apartment.”
It was a good thing that I was walking away from them, because the too-eager expression on my face would have given away that something was up.
I was already way too deep when it came to Henry.
But there was no way out now.
It’s just three months.
I’d survive.
Chapter 18
Antony
“Hey,” I said as soon as I stopped in front of Henry, trying not to look awkward.
His throat bobbed.“Hey.”
My whole body prickled with awareness as his eyes looked me up and down. I thought I saw a flash of heat in them, and as soon as he caught himself in the act, he looked away, clearing his throat. “Let’s go.”
Falling into step beside him, I got the message loud and clear. We weren’t going to talk about what had happened, which was fine by me, but it didn’t take away the heightened awareness that I had of Henry. We weren’t even touching as we made our way through campus, the afternoon sun warming our skin and the sounds of students’ chatter all around us, and yet it felt like we were in a world of our own.
It was kind of weird to be walking so normally with him, like we’d done it a thousand times, like it was normal for us to just hang out and go places together when it wasn’t. I didn’t miss the not-very-subtle glances some people sent us, but Henry didn’t really attract hordes of people trying to get all over his business while there was still daylight out, so we made our way to his frat house undisturbed.
“So,” I started, hoping to break the silence. “I didn’t know you had classes on this side of campus.”
“I don’t. I came to see my advisor, but he wasn’t in his office.”
“Your advisor?” My brows furrowed.
“Technically not my advisor, but I roped him into it. Professor Larsson.”
“Professor Sexy?” I blinked, turning sharply toward him. “He’s acting as your advisor?”
Henry’s head whipped in my direction, eyes narrowing. “You know him?”
“I know of him.” As most people did. Professor Sexy was his nickname, since he looked like he could have been an underwear model, or one that always wore perfectly tailored suits showcasing expensive colognes and luxury cars.
Henry’s eye twitched. “You like him?”
I scoffed. “Like is a very strong word.” I adjusted my backpack self-consciously and added, “Do I think he’s attractive? Sure.”
Quiet enveloped us for a long moment before Henry grumbled, “I didn’t know you were into older men.”
His tone made me look at him closely. Jaw set and dark brown eyes glaring in front of him, Henry looked for all the world like he’d suddenly remembered that the Professor owed him money or something.
My heart fluttered in my chest, even if I told myself this was definitely not jealousy.
“I wouldn’t say I’m into older men. I just said he’s objectively attractive.”
“Then what are you into?”
Prying for information now, was he?
I wondered whether I should just give him a noncommittal answer, like I did every time someone asked me something like this (which wasn’t often), but suddenly, I didn’t feel like lying to him. I found myself wanting to share my…situation.
“I’m…not sure.”
“Not sure?” Henry looked at me expectantly now, but his tone wasn’t disbelieving or irritated, it was more curious. Like he wanted to understand.
Which was enough encouragement for me to continue. “I think my sense of ‘liking’ someone or being ‘attracted’ to them is a lot weaker than most people’s. At least usually.”
There, I said it.
This was something that I’d only ever shared with my best friends. It wasn’t like I was ashamed of it or anything, but being different than what most people appeared to be had a way to make you feel alone and misunderstood.
Henry was quiet for a minute as he took in what I’d just said.
“I thought you were into it the other night, though.”
My head whipped toward him. “Are we talking about it, then?”
He gave me a silent look that said definitely not.
I should have been mad at him for avoiding it so much, but for some reason, it made me want to smile at how ridiculous he was.
“I was into it. I said ‘usually’.”
Because Henry had always been my exception. His sharp, perceptive stare had always made my body react with a special sort of intensity. And the way I’d loved our quiet conversations, the warm peace we used to have between us, and even our banter, had only made that initial spark feel all the more explosive, urgent, and hot.
I didn’t miss the way Henry exhaled roughly through his nostrils, like he’d been holding his breath. Had he been nervous that I would tell him I wasn’t really into him?
God, sometimes I wished I wasn’t.
“And how long has this been going on?”
My heart suddenly thundered inside my chest. That was definitely something I wasn’t going to share.
I shrugged.
Relief started flooding me when I noticed that we were about to step into the frat’s walkway.
Henry stepped in front of me, cutting my path. “Don’t just shrug. Tell me.”
“I’m not telling you.”
Eyes darkening with a challenge, he said, “I could order you.”
“You could try.”
He was already opening his mouth to do just that when someone called out from behind him.
“King! Good, you’re here. Oh. Hi Antony. You coming to help us wash the house?” It was Adam, tall, athletic, with a dimpled smile at the ready.
Wash the house?
I looked at Henry. “I guess I am.”
“That’s so nice of you, man. Hey, can I call you Ant?”
I didn’t usually let people call me by my nickname, but something about his easy-going nature must have been contagious. “Sure.”
He smiled bigger. “Great. Then go drop your things and we can get started. Most of the guys are already here.” Glancing toward Henry, he added, “They wouldn’t defy our King for anything.”
Henry barely reacted to his words, but he stepped further down the walkway to go into the house.
It was a bit weird that the frat guys themselves were going to wash the exterior of the house—which I could now see they were getting ready to do. Brushes, a garden hose, buckets of water, and several ladders were already spread around the grass outside.
But this was the Henry effect, wasn’t it? What the King said was what would be done.
