Driven by Passion, page 26
“He hurt you and it made me mad.”
Victor paced the wrong way along the track, back towards turn fifteen, and Lucien jogged to catch up.
“What am I missing?”
“Lucien—” Not his favourite tone this time, more just annoyed. “How did you make the leap from knowing why you were enraged to the whole I’m pushing you away for your own good and I don’t deserve you?”
“Right. Suzie says that’s because I’ve worked so hard to stop the rage response and I failed.” Lucien dropped down to his knees in the middle of the track. “I failed and it was all I could think about.”
“You don’t have to be...”
“Perfect. That’s what Suzie said. She said that I was punishing myself for not being perfect at not punching people ... it’s kind of absurd when you say it like that. I want to be perfect at not punching people.”
“Lucien.” Victor threaded his hand through Lucien’s hair, and it was the sweetest fucking way anyone had ever touched him. God, his heart was going to die.
“Anyway, she says I was punishing myself for failing and the problem with that is that I ended up punishing the people who would forgive me because they see me trying to improve.”
“I see you.”
“Thank you. I want to deserve you.”
“Lucien.” There was that tone again. “You don’t have to earn me.”
Lucien stood up again and Victor cradled his face with his hands. The warmth of Victor’s touch on his face was everything.
“Lucien. I think I fell in love with you years ago when you told me not to doubt myself. You poked me in the chest and told me I was good enough and you believed in me when I didn’t quite believe in myself. Fuck, you told me that I’d be a Chief Engineer on an S1 team one day if only I could throw away the doubt.”
“I was right.”
Victor let out a shaky breath. “Then let me be right about this one. I believe you will never hit me in anger.”
“But?”
“Let me finish. I also believe that you will defend me with everything in your heart and yes, sometimes with your fists because you learned that at your father’s hand and unlearning it will be a life’s journey. Lucien, I feel safe with you. I know you will protect me, not harm me.”
Lucien wished he deserved this incredible man who said such wonderful things. Suzie’s voice poked him in the forehead. Fine. He didn’t need to deserve or not deserve him. He could just love him and let himself be loved.
“Thank you. Can I kiss you now?”
“Yes.”
“Thank fuck.” Lucien pounced. It’d been far too long—a whole week without kissing Victor—and it was like home. He explored Victor’s mouth, his taste, loving the way Victor’s tongue chased his own, with every stroke and caress. This was his forever place; being with Victor at whatever cost. He didn’t need to be perfect and he could keep learning to keep his rage in check.
“Let’s go home. It’s too bloody cold to be kissing you on a racetrack in the middle of winter.”
“Okay. My bed is closer than yours.” Lucien held Victor’s hand and marched towards the big house and his bedroom in the home Socrates had given him.
Epilogue
Pre-season testing started tomorrow, and Victor couldn’t wait for Lucien to arrive in Bahrain. He had the best news for his boyfriend. He paced around their hotel room.
Lucien: Am pulling up now. What room number?
Victor: 1432
Lucien: See you soon
Victor: I can’t wait
Ten minutes later, there was a knock on the door and he opened it to see Lucien looking travel rumpled.
“Victor.” Lucien threw himself into Victor’s arms and kissed him. Victor adored the way Lucien kissed and he soaked up the sensations of finally holding his boyfriend again after a few weeks apart travelling with their respective racing teams.
“You taste so good. I missed you.”
“And you taste like a podium!” Victor grinned against Lucien’s cheek.
“Three of them. What a way to start the season.”
“It’s awesome. I’m so proud of you.”
“Proud enough to show me?” Lucien winked.
Victor chuckled. “Maybe have a shower first and wash off the travel muck.”
“Only if you join me.” Lucien had come directly from Mexico where he’d come second in the Series E race there.
“Yes.” Victor forgot his news as they walked, intertwined, towards the bathroom. He spun around in Lucien’s arm and kissed him again. It was incredible to be back in Lucien’s arms.
“Oh, I nearly forgot. Socrates wanted me to tell you that he is impressed with the way you’ve started this season.”
“He should be. Pole and a win in the first race, then third in the second. Now second in Mexico to make it three podiums in three races. I’m leading the championship.”
Victor knew all of that and he still loved the way Lucien owned his successes. “He wants you to drive the first session tomorrow.”
“In your car?” Lucien blinked, and Victor wished he had a photo of the stunned expression. “Seriously?”
“Yes.”
“Fuck. Yes.” Lucien punched the air. “I’ve been wanting to drive a decent S1 car forever.”
Victor had no idea if his car was fast, although it had tested well in the wind tunnel. Tomorrow would be the first time it’d been driven in on a racetrack. Lucien rolled on top of Victor and kissed him vigorously.
“Thank you so much. You are the best boyfriend ever.”
***
If you enjoyed this book, you’ll love the rest of the Gamble Racing series, beginning with DRIVEN TO DISTRACTION. The next book in this series is Jaxxon and Freddy’s story, DRIVEN BY AMBITION.
Two men in the spotlight with too much chemistry...
Media personality and retired driver Freddy Hiptonstall knows one thing. Getting involved with someone in the S1 paddock only leads to disaster, so why can’t he stay away from Gamble Racing’s new Team Principal?
Suddenly promoted to Team Principal, Jaxxon Loharani-Jones has a lot to prove. He’s always been ambitious, but now he needs to step up and run Gamble Racing as the second youngest Team Principal in S1 history. The last thing he needs is a distraction.
The chemistry between them results in kisses, but will the intimate nature of their work be too much for their burgeoning relationship with all the pressures of their jobs?
***
Want a bit more sexy romance? Socrates and Mike’s story is available as an exclusive bonus when you sign up for my newsletter.
COMING IN 2023: Bucket List Love, as part of the Hotel d’Amore anthology. Victor’s uncle Craig goes to Zac’s high school reunion and meets a new lover.
Acknowledgements
I pay my respects to the Wangal people of the Eora Nation, who are the traditional owners of the land on which this book was written.
My kids, who are huge S1 fans, for working out the fake race season results for my drivers in this series and helping with other technical details. If you want to see the full spreadsheet, it’s an extra on my Patreon.
To my son, F, who designed the test track at Socrates Drayton’s estate, designed all the driver’s season results, helped me create a spreadsheet of four seasons worth of race results, and named many of the characters in this series. Thank you for being the ultimate S1 fan and an all-round amazing creative person. His track design is available on my website.
All Books by Renée Dahlia
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Show Up (ff with bisexual heroine)
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Out of Her League (fm with bisexual characters)
His Buxom Beauty (fm)
Craving His Spotlight (mm)
Her Pregnant Rival (ff)
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Betrayed (fm)
Forbidden (fm with bisexual characters)
Liability (ff)
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Also by Renee Dahlia
BeST
Count Me In
Strum Me Hard
Desiring The Dexingtons
Love Wasn't Built In A Day
The Secret Life of Spinsters
Gamble Racing
Driven To Distraction
Driven By Passion
Great War
Her Lady's Melody
Her Lady's Fortune
His Lord's Soldier
Kapow
Out of Her League
His Buxom Beauty
Craving His Spotlight
Her Pregnant Rival
Seraph's Burlesque Club
Show Up
Show Off
Show Queen
Show Time
Show Dance
Standalone
The Shipwrecked Earl's Bride
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Renee Dahlia, Driven by Passion
