Lunaria (A Soulmark Series Finale), page 33
Still, I wish for Adrian to be beside me.
"Jakob's fine, I guess. You know, minus the fact that he's sort of a dick, and he turned me into a vampyré unwillingly."
"Oh, I see," I hedge and clasp my hands together to stop from fidgeting. "Are you happy with your new family now?"
A flash of vulnerability darts across her face. Nova tenses. "Yeah," she finally breathes out. "I guess it could be worse. Eternal life isn't awful, but I miss my sisters."
I stare back at Nova, eager for more, but she rolls her eyes again and jerks her head at the chair. With a weak smile tossed in her direction, I take my seat and remove my coat. My fingers take up drumming the armrest shortly after.
Nova circles the chair. My violet eyes track her predatory movements, my pulse spiking regardless of the mantra running through my head that she is my friend. Nova stops at my side and kneels at the arm of the chair. Just like Ruby.
"Do you prefer I take from your wrist?"
I let out a little noise that sounds far too like a mouse for my liking. My calceolas flutter their petals open. "There are other places to take from?"
Rather than tease me, Nova softens and nods. "The throat or the inner thigh. There are major arteries there. So far, the majority have gone with the wrist, and by the majority, I mean every single person."
My weak smile returns. "The wrist is fine."
Nova’s cold fingers tug up the fuzzy sleeve of my sweater, before cupping my arm and lifting it up.
"Do you really think we're snacks?" The question blurts out of my mouth just as her head ducks.
Nova spares me an impish smile, fangs and blood-red eyes on full display. "Kind of,” she admits with a dark chuckle. “This will pinch, but then it'll feel nice. Promise."
I whimper in response.
It does more than pinch when she bites into my tender flesh. It hurts. The sharp prick gives way to a heated throb that does not feel nice—at all—not until the first pull against my blood. Only then does the throbbing abate.
A delectable shiver curls my toes and makes my nipples strain over the course of one shaky inhalation. As I exhale with the second pull of her feeding, another wave of bliss arouses me. My sex tightens in want. Adrian’s hungry eyes alight my mind's eye. A third pull leaves me trembling in my seat. Desire strikes me hard, igniting itself mercilessly deep in my bones. And yet, this bliss pales in comparison to the intimate touch of my heart’s content. Or his whispered profanities. Or the dominance of his thrusts.
I whimper louder.
I'm tempted to fall straight into the intoxicating fever, but my better senses hold me back. Barely.
"Ah."
Nova’s fangs release from my wrist, and I hiss. She produces a handkerchief from her pocket and presses it against my wound.
"You taste... so incredible."
My body locks. Animal instinct snapping me out of my lust-filled haze as my baser nature yells at me to leave. I scoot back in my seat, a light pant falling from my lips, as I observe Nova.
Her hunger is still evident. She licks her lips as our eyes meet.
This didn't happen with Ruby earlier. She'd been satiated by Adrian's blood, but Nova is enthralled. A simmer of fear rides along my fevered body. In the next instant, Nova's expression changes. She flashes to the far corner of the room, slamming into the walls.
"You need to go. Now," Nova snarls. I scramble to do as she says, stumbling out of the chair.
I don't look back as I throw myself out of the room and hurl the door shut behind me. My head spins at the swiftness of my departure and warm blood trickles into my palm.
In my haste, I lost the handkerchief. Dropping my head back against the door, I press my hand against the wound.
"I'm not interrupting, am I?" A voice says from the end of the hall. I jerk my head to the left, mouth agape as I stare at Jax.
I clear my throat. "No,” I manage to say, “I was just finishing up some... business, with Nova."
"I can see that," Jax murmurs. He shuffles forward a step with the help of a cane. "Might I borrow you for a moment?"
Chapter 17
Jax hobbles upstairs, his new, gleaming black cane aiding him. I am transfixed by the sight of it for some queer reason, and find the longer I stare, the more exhausted I become.
Or maybe it’s the blood loss.
"Where did you get that cane?" I blink in rapid succession but rather than tear my focus away, my scrutiny of the item intensifies.
"Luna." Jax's address is a blunt reprimand. I flinch, my hypnotic trance breaking as I meet his disapproving glower. "Your wrist."
He stops at the second-floor landing, setting aside his cane and gingerly taking my injured forearm in both hands. Blood seeps past the seal of my palm and fingers. The view leaves me even more lightheaded.
"Allow me to fix this." Jax dips his head and begins to whisper some incantation. I catch a glimpse of his hazel eye, dilated and focused on my wrist when a new kind of heat ignites my veins.
I hiss as the unnatural energy infiltrates my body, spreading from my puncture wound to deeper parts inside of me. My dizziness doubles, and a silent cry catches at the back of my tongue as it intensifies. The heat builds to a blistering pain I'm convinced will leave me branded.
"Stop!" I manage to shout.
The air crackles with the same dark current of magic Jax produced the other night, but he stops at my command. His lips cease their casting, and with it goes the searing pain they wrought. Jax releases me and his hands drift back to his sides. I ignore the leaden weight of his one-eyed gaze as I peer down at my perfect skin.
My lungs empty. Not only is the wound gone, so is the blood that stained my skin. I glance at my other hand. It’s still stained with my blood.
Breathless, I tilt my violet eyes back to Jax. "How did you do that?"
He doesn't respond right away; instead, he swivels carefully to retrieve his cane. "Magic." Jax catches my eye before taking off down the hall to a room I'm unfamiliar with. The limp he boasted is notably lessened.
I frown. My stomach twists as I increase my gait and enter the sparse room. I examine the feminine furnishing quizzically, and pastel colors.
"I'm told it used to be Xander's mother's room," Jax explains when my examination passes over him. He flicks on a small lamp as I step further into the room, while he chooses a spot by the nearest window overlooking the forest.
"I thought the magical backlash would have left you in bed for days. But you’re… better?" I finish lamely.
He props his upper body against the window frame and sends me a sidelong glance. The light from outside casts dark patterns over his face. "I thought word had gotten around already. Didn’t you hear? A God has chosen to favor me."
"I—yes, I heard,” I say, stumbling over my tongue. “Which one?"
Jax turns his study to the backyard. "He has many names, none of which you'd be familiar with."
Silence. It pricks at my skin and makes me shift my weight from foot to foot as we stew in it. I tread closer, eyes dipping to the cane. A disturbingly alluring aura radiates from it. I swallow.
"Did he give you that?" I ask, voice cracking at the end.
I note the appearance of white around his knuckles as he grips the handle of his cane. "Yes."
More chilling silence. I can't stand it.
"Why did you ask to see me, Jax?" He goes stiff, then turns to face me, his expression contrite.
"I wanted to thank you for taking the time to visit me the other day." He scratches his neck, hand dropping to his side abruptly. "I apologize for my behavior. You may have noticed I'm a bit on edge. My new patron is powerful, and I'm still adjusting to the, uh, many gifts laid upon me."
"Are you all right?"
He shoots me his standard smirk. "Of course, gorgeous. I can handle it."
"Are you—"
"Don't waste your concern on me. My powers are back, and that's what matters most to me. Now, on to the next subject I wished to discuss with you." I nod and take a seat on the edge of the queen-sized bed, my fatigue mounting as I sink into the mattress. Jax watches my descent and comes to a seat next to me. His limp is now completely gone. Curious. "Your friend Deval is doing well, at least as well as can be expected. We've kept him company throughout the day and have done our best to keep him calm as he deals with his new limitations and lifestyle."
"Xander told me this morning he survived,” I reply, happiness warming my heart, even as a small frown pulls at my mouth. “I thought he wasn’t allowed visitors? Xander mentioned it might be too difficult for him and his new instincts."
"I wouldn't consider myself or my dark court associates visitors. We're more like guardians. Deval's proven to have a fiendish appetite, one Ruby is having a pinch of trouble containing."
My eyebrows hunch. "Why is it Ruby's responsibility to control his hunger?"
Jax leans back in his seat and props one leg atop the other. "It's the way of the sire bond," he explains, completely nonchalant. "He is compelled to do as his maker wishes, but that doesn't make the restrictions on his new diet any less pleasant. He's resistant to her command, but that’s not all too surprising. The more I think about it, the more I believe your friend should have died during the transition.”
I cast my eyes to the bloodied mess caked across my left hand, lost in thought for several moments. "Ruby said something to him before she gave him her blood. Do you know what it was?"
"Not a clue, gorgeous. Maybe she promised him riches and glory. Perhaps she tempted him with a new life out from under the Wselfwulfs’ control. Whatever it was, hopefully he learns to accept his fate, because there’s no taking back what's been done. Well, other than death, which would be incredibly impolite seeing as we went through so much trouble to keep him alive."
Would Deval agree to this new lease on life if he knew it meant swapping his family for a new one. Uncertainty tickles at the back of my mind. What did I know of his desires? Would I have chosen to live, no matter the cost?
"Can I visit him soon?"
Jax runs a hand through his hair and uses the other to cradle the back of his head. In his soft recline, I am offered a better view of his cane propped between us. The shaft is a dark metal, with hints of reddish-brown and amber catching in the dim light of the room. I home in on the burnished surface, spying veins of shallow embossment that wind around it. I cannot discern their patterns.
And then there is the handle. At first glance it appears to be some kind of wolf's head, but the snout is too long and the ears too tall and pointed. Two small red gems glare back at me.
"Did you hear me?"
My head snaps up. "What?"
With a tight smile, Jax deftly relocates the cane to his other side. "You might be able to visit him in a few days. Let him regain his bearings. His displeasure doesn't stem from just his new diet. Ruby ordered him not to fight in whatever calamity is about to ensue." Just like Keenan.
"Why did she order him not to fight?"
"There's no guarantee he won't try to take out someone from our side because of his thirst. Blood is life to him now." Jax taps a finger to his temple. His smile is still tight and a touch on the menacing side. "He's got different priorities now."
I swallow and fidget. Though the room is decently heated, goosebumps threaten to take over my skin. "Has Ruby ordered anyone else not to fight?"
Jax runs his tongue over his teeth then sighs. "She hasn’t, as of yet, however, we can’t all go out and fight the good fight. Deval needs babysitters—plural."
I pause to contemplate his reasoning. "Babysitters who are stronger than him?" I ask, each word spoken slowly.
Jax chuckles but nods. "Preferably. They might lock him downstairs with the other captives, but nobody thinks that's a good idea."
"Maybe Winter can be of some help again? She helped today, didn't she? Her wolf is also gone."
"She did," Jax admits and slings an arm over my shoulders. We lock gazes. "But she's human now. Even with a few shifters to babysit, she’s at risk of being hurt should Deval get upset.”
My shoulders sink. "Oh."
"Besides, her husband isn't exactly keen on letting her be tucked away with a freshly turned hybrid. Least of all, when the day of the war arrives. I assume Winter will be stowed away in one of the designated safe houses the pack and coven arranged. They're meant to keep those not fighting away from danger." I scrunch my nose at that.
"Shouldn't they keep everyone in one spot?"
"All it takes is one person to break through the lines to wreak havoc." I grimace, but I understand his point. Jax's fingers squeeze my shoulder, drawing my solemn regard back to him. "It was kind of you to think of Winter for Deval. You have the Vrana family's gratitude for it. Her voice of reason and empathetic ear soothed him in ways no one else could manage. We asked her to come back tomorrow."
"Good," I say, cool relief washing over me. "I'm glad Winter could help. She wishes to be useful, and it isn't in her heart to turn those in need away."
"The same can be said of you." Despite my fatigue, my body warms at the compliment. "You acted as a light through this hellish time. Not just to me, but for Keenan and your friends as well, and let's not even get started on Adrian. Like I said before, you're the sun to that beast."
"He's not a beast," I scold. Jax pats my shoulder once and removes his hand.
"Fine," he teases, leaning in. His hazel eye sparkles back at me. "He's not a beast, but you are a light." The sparkle lessens as he clears his throat, his eye darting down to the floor. A flush rises up his neck. "I must ask you to sate my curiosity. How do you do it? How do you keep that light on inside of you? After everything, you've gone through here. Sometimes I wonder if it's worth trying to stay in the light at all.”
Shadow-like tendrils begin to emerge from the seams of the room. They creep toward us, cooling the room by a few degrees. My muscles lockup as the touch of one slithers up my back and another over my ankles. Tongue like a deadweight in my mouth, I cannot sound the alarm. Adrian’s worry reaches out to me, but I’m immobile inside and out.
The shadow tendrils coil around Jax, but he pays them no mind. His gaze is drawn far past reality, and I—I blurt out the first thing that comes to mind when his sadness pinches his lips.
"Do you love them?" I ask, the words strangled and jarring as I watch the shadows cling to Jax like a second skin... as if to comfort him. Adrian’s worry increases and I’ve enough sense to hastily press some semblance of reassurance back. The shadow tendrils aren’t hurting Jax, or me. We were safe. For now.
Jax snaps back to reality. "Love who?"
I swallow thickly, unable to stop myself from shivering. "Your family," I manage to get out. "Ruby and Nova, do you love them? Do you love Jakob and Irina as well?"
"Gorgeous, our family dynamic is a bit more complicated—"
"Would you die for them?"
He stops, but only for a moment. "Loyalty and love aren't the same things, Luna."
"Jakob sent them for you," I continue, sliding my hand over to his as the shadows nestle into his being and cover his form in a dark silhouette. "Ruby, Nova, and those raven men. Every one of them was sent to ensure you came back."
A muscle in his jaw ticks. "Yes, well, Jakob also sent me away."
"To help us—" Jax barks a laugh and gently removes my hand from his.
"Like I said, we are a complicated family."
"But do you love them?" I curb the fervor in my words, but not the urgency. Didn't he realize, all the odds can be stacked against you, and your world turned upside down, but so long as you have one love in your life, there will always be light for you? Jax draws in his cheeks and purses his lips. He makes no move to respond, and I can only hope that somewhere deep inside he knows these things to be true.
The shadows dissipate, some receding back from where they came, others diving into Jax's body. I breathe easier with them gone, and my intraflora relaxes as well. Whichever God is Jax's new patron, their power does not sit well with my own. Is it my instincts telling me to guard myself in Jax's presence, or the changes I've witnessed in him the past few days?
"You never answered my question. Not really anyway." Jax speaks softly, his attention veering to the nearest window. "How do you stay, afloat?"
I mirror Jax, clasping my magically cleaned hand around my still bloodied one, and train my vision outside. From my vantage, I can see nothing but a thin strip of white land that butts up against the forest. The scene is serene and lovely.
"I don’t always stay afloat," I admit. "I've been struggling a lot lately. One hour I feel fine, the next I'm lost in dreadful memories. Not all of them feature the Wselfwulfs. You're aware of what happened at the end of last summer, correct? The attack, how the crystal was broken, and my... injuries." My fingers flex as I force down the dense lump lodged in my throat. Comfort reaches out to me through the bond that I gratefully lean into, and with a shallow breath, I continue. "I was broken. No matter what I tried, I couldn't put myself back together." My voice goes quiet. "At least, not to how I used to be.”
I take another long moment to compose myself, leaning back into the warmth and affection Adrian sends my way. I relish in the strength he gives me, a smile working its way onto my face as I face Jax.
“But no matter how much I felt like I was sinking, they never let me drown—not the coven or pack. Sometimes, in my darker moments, I didn't think I would survive the Wselfwulfs. I wanted to curl into a ball and give up, but I didn't because you and Keenan believed in me. You needed me to be brave, just as much as I needed you to be. The light you speak of—the flame of hope—it's in all of us, Jax.” My smile brightens as I reach out to him again and place my hand on his knee. “Sometimes it’s just an ember, but that's where our loved ones come in. You can grow an ember into a flame, a brilliant fire even, but when you trust in your loved ones and lean on them, it can transform into a blaze."
