Lunaria (A Soulmark Series Finale), page 29
"I'm so sorry, Winter," I reply softly. Stretching across the space Atticus vacated, I lay my hand atop hers. Winter spares me a small smile.
"I don't regret my decision, but I can't deny what my choices have done to my relationship with Atticus." Winter slides her hands away, unknotting one from the other to massage her forehead. Her next statement is spoken more to herself than us. "Every decision I make hurts our relationship and the pack."
Celosia clears her throat until Winter glances her way. "It is common in the Hollow Woods to atone for misdeeds with free labor. Your atonement would be well received there," Celosia tells Winter, interjecting her voice with confidence and hope. "Or with rare, exotic goods."
Winter laughs. The smile that breaks across her face is stunning. Celosia watches her enthusiasm dimming to something softer. She too reaches out and places a comforting hand on Winter’s shoulder.
"You are not alone. Be honest with him. Without fully understanding what you’re going through, you cannot expect him to waver on his stance. It is clear he loves you and wishes only to protect you,” Celosia offers.
I’m left speechless at Celosia's thoughtful words. And they force me to reassess my confrontation with Adrian this morning.
I should have gone after him, I realize with a frown. I should have laid my worries bare to him and showed him why it was so important to me to stay. Maybe then he would understand why I could not bend. I’m taken from my inner musings by Winter’s heaved sigh.
"I’ll tell him," Winter promises Celosia. She rubs the back of her neck, taking a moment to mull over her thoughts and chew on her bottom lip. "Our soulmark bond will hopefully make it easier to be so vulnerable, but I'm guessing there will be tears. Lots of tears. My tears," she rambles.
My pulse beats a little faster at her confession. "You believe your soulmark will help you reconcile?" I ask.
Winter's eyes widen at my heartened tone. "Yes," she says. "We're constantly wrapped up in each other's feelings. It hurts us to hurt one another." Her bottom lip takes some more abuse. "Which means Atticus's hurt feelings are most likely the result of my withholding." She grimaces at the realization and groans, then pins me with her narrowed regard. "Why do you ask?"
Celosia perks up. "Does this have to do with Adrian, Luna? There isn't anything wrong with your heart's content, is there?" Winter's brows pinch together as she studies the flush rising on my cheeks.
"Adrian…?" There's a chilly undertone delivered with his name. I nod. Winter's face contorts briefly before erring toward a curious expression. "What exactly is a 'heart's content?'"
"Oh, it is very similar to your soulmark," Alekos supplies helpfully, though when he spies my scowl, he snaps his mouth shut. A wave of conflict wages war over Winter's face as she processes the news.
"Have you and he..."
I blush and confirm her delicate inquiry. "We have. I can feel Adrian’s frustration. He does not like my eagerness to help. He fears I will be hurt and wants to return home as soon as possible. He also fears that he will be forced to fight.”
"Xander would never force someone to fight who didn’t want to," Winter replies confidently, her taut posture steadfast. "For the record, no one expects any of you to stay and fight. My promise still stands, Luna. I'll help you home in whatever way I can."
"Thank you, Winter, but the truth is—" my throat tightens as I cast my gaze to my friends "—I wish to stay and help.”
Celosia’s eyes widen. Alekos’s lips thin.
I rush on, “I will not stay if you two wish to go home as well, but my heart is heavy at the thought of leaving my friends and family without offering some help to them."
“I wish to stay, as well. I want retribution," Alekos professes, his voice thick with anger. The gold streaks in his eyes are molten. "I am no warrior, but surely there is something I can do."
My jaw drops as my heart beats with a wild flutter. "Really?"
"They must pay for their sins," he continues, growing grave. "Against Celosia and I, and Adrian. I will call the trees of your forest to arms if I must."
Celosia nods, her skin glowing. "If Alekos and Lunaria help, so will I."
Winter stares at us, mouth agape and on the verge of tears. "Thank you, I—" she takes a breath to steady her words. "Thank you. Thank you."
Bright smiles are passed all around, but while the room is fit to burst with optimism, I dim knowing Adrian will be disappointed.
"We’ll start the search for the gateway tree tomorrow,” Alekos says, voice brimming with purpose and excitement. “It should not be hard to find but opening the gateway will be taxing on me.” He pauses thoughtfully before a triumphant sparkle alights his eyes. “If I can utilize the crystal which brought you here, Luna, I may be able to use it to get us back!"
Winter frowns. "I’m afraid the crystal is broken." Alekos and Celosia deflate, but she rushes to correct herself. "It still works! But not to the level at which it once operated, or so I've been told. Regardless, you may, of course, use it to help you return home."
A renewed energy invigorates our group as details of our newly formed plan take shape and theories of harnessing the energy of the crystal arise. Before I know it, the day is gone, and Atticus returns to take me back to the manor.
Atticus passes me one of his handsome smiles as he backs out of the garage, and I wave goodbye to my friends. The heater musters up a decent temperature by the time we hit the first stop sign.
"Your friends are something else," Atticus mentions as he turns down the volume of the radio. “Celosia gave us a demonstration this morning of her talent." Atticus doesn't bother to hide his awe. "It was incredible. She made a string of lights appear and dance in the air." He stops himself short with a chuckle. "Then, she kept turning all the lights in the house on and off."
I grin at the retelling. "Illuminators can touch, bend, manipulate, and create light. It is said they are connected to the sun and stars. They are great navigators." My grin softens. "If Ruby and the others had not come to rescue us, and we somehow managed to escape on our own... I think Celosia would have been able to lead us back here."
The car assumes a natural quiet as we travel on. The town is drenched in dusk, painting the passing houses in pretty hues of purple and pinks that mesmerize me.
"Luna," Atticus utters my name with remorse. "I want to apologize to you. I didn't earlier because I wanted you to spend time with your friends."
I look left to study Atticus's profile. His hands grip the steering wheel with taut knuckles, and his mouth is downturned. "Apologize? For what?"
"For not coming." He spares me a regretful grimace, the color draining from his face as his guilt shines through.
"Oh," I murmur. "That." I draw my interest to the fuzzy adornments of my mittens and lift one shoulder carelessly. "Aunt Lydia explained why you didn't come sooner. Sort of. The Stormrows put a cloaking spell on the Wselfwulfs farm. It made it impossible to find our location. If it wasn't for the flower trail I sent, we never would have been found." I manage an indifferent shrug, unable to look at him. "I understand. It's okay."
"No, it isn't." I am still at his terse response. "We shouldn't have left you at all. We should have stayed and fought—"
"Atticus, you made the right decision. None of us expected you to stay after what Winter had just done. Lifting the curse took a toll on her too."
His lips remain sealed for several minutes. A forlorn sigh escapes him as we near the alphas’ home. He places a hand on my thigh, the simple touch radiating love and gratitude.
"I'm sorry," Atticus says, voice hoarse with emotion. We pull to a stop. Our eyes meet, and I rest my hand over his.
"I forgive you."
++
The Adolphus home is unusually quiet as I enter, but not for long. Footsteps sound upstairs before Quinn and Ryatt emerge at the top of the staircase. Hand in hand, they descend as I finish putting away my coat and gloves.
"Hi," Quinn chirps, her glossy lips pulling into a smile. "Did you enjoy visiting your friends?"
"Yes,"—a shadow looms from the upstairs, catching my eye—"it was wonderful. Are you two headed somewhere?"
I drag my eyes over the couple. Quinn is dressed in a tight-fitting black dress, her golden hair curled perfectly. Ryatt matches in all black. The first three buttons of his shirt undone.
"Just to the downstairs lounge. Ryatt is donating blood. We've been warned the process is quite stimulating, so we thought to capitalize on the aftermath," Ryatt answers with a mischievous grin. The shadow pulls at my attention again. My gaze lingers long enough to catch Adrian’s profile. Distracted, I offer a quick smile to Ryatt and Quinn, completely oblivious to whatever words were spoken last.
"Enjoy your aftermath."
The pair walk off, Quinn smirking and Ryatt snickering, in the direction of the long hallway that leads to the kitchen. Once out of sight, I steel myself for the conversation to come with Adrian. I’m halfway up when Adrian reveals himself. The mere sight of him makes the mark on my hip tingle and anticipation curl in my stomach.
"We need to talk."
Fighting off the chill that wanders up my back, I take a steadying breath. "Okay."
He jerks his head in the direction of our room and turns on his heel. Two steps later and we both stop at the sound of my stomach rumbling. With a furious blush, I place a hand across my abdomen to meet Adrian’s amused glare.
"Let's talk in the kitchen," he suggests. I nod and descend with haste, hoping the kitchen to be empty.
As we near the kitchen, doubts begin to plague my mind. What if we cannot find common ground? Will Adrian storm off again? Or will it be my temper that gets the best of me? What will happen to us? My bottom lip finds its way between my teeth. Until now, I’d not let myself dwell on our future. Until now, I’d not acknowledged how much I hoped to have one with him.
"What’s wrong?" Adrian asks, coming into step beside me.
Dozens of thoughts assault me, and I turn wide eyes to him. Heart-hammering for some unknown reason, my mouth moves without sound. Adrian’s forehead bunches as he waits for my response.
“I’m staying to help,” I blurt out. Adrian stays silent as a pained knot anchors in the middle of his brow.
"Why?” he asks. “What have they done for you, except keep you in a nicer prison than the Wselfwulfs?"
His words are like a slap to the face, and I shuffle back from him. Adrian's chiseled jaw gnashes together as he tries to reign his quickfire temper.
"They have been nothing but kind to me," I say, keeping my voice level. The brilliant red ruffled petals of the calceolas flower spiral out across my cheekbones and down my neck as I speak. Inadvertently, my throat tightens as the hallway temperature seems to rise. "They took me in, Adrian. They gave me shelter and showed me love. They never sent me home because they couldn't. They didn’t have the magic or strength. Not because they wouldn’t. Not like the Wselfwulfs."
Voice cracking, I duck my head. A finger rests beneath my chin and tilts my head up. Adrian stares back at me with knowing eyes, lips parting to speak.
“I love them,” I confess quickly and stop whatever rebuttal Adrian has. “They’re my family. I cannot leave them in their time of need knowing I can help in some way. The shame I’d feel would be… it would be too much to bear, Adrian.” His posture softens, though his pained expression does not fade. “I—I understand my choice affects you, and that if I were to be harmed, in turn, so would you.” I force myself to keep Adrian’s steady regard, fighting past the rush of nerves that accompany my honesty. “Which is why I will not fight actively in this war. But I can help them in other ways, Adrian, with my gifts, and I want to. I will not ask you to fight for the pack or coven," I continue after a deep breath, "but—but I will ask that you respect my decision and that of my friends."
Adrian's throat bobs. "Your friends? What did Alekos and Celosia decide?"
"They will stay and fight in whatever way they can. They desire justice after the harm they suffered by the Wselfwulf and Stormrow’s hands. Tomorrow, they will begin to search for a tree to act as a gateway and bring us home. Winter said once the war is over we can harness the crystal's power to help Alekos forge the gateway home.”
Adrian stays silent for a long time. His true emotions kept away from me.
"What if they lose?” he asks.
"They won’t,” I reply immediately.
Adrian’s obsidian eyes harden. His roughened voice dips low as he bends to eye level, and his finger finally drops from my chin.
"I infiltrated this pack’s territory almost a dozen times. Each time easier than the last." His eyes search mine for the barest hint of submission, but finding none he releases a small groan, head tipping forward. "Let them have their war," he begs. "It is not ours to fight, and if they lose, so do we. And I—I cannot bear the thought of losing you."
“You won’t lose me,” I plead, cupping his face as he tilts it toward me.
“I already lost you once,” he says gruffly, and his emotions begin to trickle through our bond. Self-doubt and uncertainty. I swallow thickly. “You’ve been running from me since the start. What if this time you run straight into death’s hands?”
What wall he built between our bond crumbles as his fears and longing flood our connection. Adrian turns his face away from me. My heart aches at his vulnerability. With a deep inhale, I close the last of the distance between us. My pulse quickens as I dare to open myself as completely as him.
“I’m not running,” I whisper. Adrian’s head snaps back in my direction, a rebuttal on his lips that stops halfway out at my look. “Not anymore.” Adrian shudders a sigh, at my admission and wraps an arm around my middle. The ease of his worries allows for hope to fill the space between us. “I cannot promise victory, Adrian, or guarantee my safety and yours. But I promise to be safe and to run to you should danger lurk nearby.”
His throat bobs with uncertainty as I press my sincerity through our connection. “You promise?”
Warmth ignites in my heart as I immediately respond. “Yes. I promise.”
“I won’t fight their war,” he warns with narrowed eyes.
"Of course not! You don't have to," I rush to say. "No one here will make you fight, Adrian. Besides, there are other ways to help—"
"Why yes, Adrian." I startle into Adrian’s chest at the sultry purr of Ruby's voice behind me. Adrian growls, his forearm and bicep flexing against my back to pull me snug against him. I glance over my shoulder to spy Ruby’s smirking figure. "You can always donate blood. I love the taste of a big, strong man."
She giggles at whatever face Adrian makes.
"Not interested," he says flatly.
Ruby prowls around us. "What a shame, you'd be a far better candidate than the fairy—no offense." My shoulders slump at the small slight, and glance at Adrian's face. His eyes are trained on the vampyré.
"None taken," I mutter.
Ruby stops at a closed door nearby and wiggles her eyebrows. With a finger pressed against her mouth, she quietly cracks open the door.
My gaze flits between Ruby and the door expectantly, but nothing happens. Curiosity peaked, I give a small huff and wiggle out from Adrian’s hold. I’m no more than a step away from Adrian when a guttural moan splits the silence around us.
I lock wide eyes with Ruby. "Was that Deval?"
She chuckles and leans against the door frame. "Deval is one room down. That was Ryatt. Nova is feeding." Moans continue to trickle from the room, turning my cheeks pink as I imagine the hidden scene. "If you still plan on donating, Luna, you should know what you’re signing up for. Giving blood is quite an erotic experience."
My flush burns all the way to my chest as the noises inside the room come in quicker succession and with remarkable clarity.
Wet lips lap at skin.
Impassioned gasps that do little to hide their fervor.
Whispered words, intended either to soothe or entice.
"Oh." The uttered exclamation slips past my mouth before I can catch it. My gaze darts back to Ruby. She dons a knowing smirk.
"I heard your appetite is better today."
I nod. "Yes. We were just going to the kitchen."
Her smirk widens and the hair on the back of my neck rises as Ruby’s eyes darken in hunger. Inside, my instincts warn of the predator in front of me.
"Perfect. I don't like to dine on waifs… no offense," she tacks on sweetly, as she assesses me. "You're just so thin, I like to take my blood from those with a little more meat on their bones." Ruby pushes off from the door frame as the noises inside the room slow to panted breaths. "Tomorrow, if your offer still stands, I'll dine from you."
I give my affirmation twice, because my first response is no more than a squeak. Ruby stalks forward with liquid grace, dismissing Adrian's dissent as she stands before me. Adrian comes to my side as well, wrapping an arm possessively around my waist.
"Have you heard any news since your return?" She inquires, a pleasant smile on her face as she cocks her head.
I shake my head. "No, I just got back."
"Well then, allow me the honor of informing you, since this one sulked the day away." Adrian's aggravation gnaws at my insides. He wants her gone, and I can't say I disagree. Ruby’s presence is nerve-wracking. "A few of the Wselfwulfs were found poking their noses around the northern border. They were chased off, but I thought you'd like to be kept in the loop."
"How many?" Adrian asks.
"Seven," she comments. Up close, the lust crimson that colors her irises is obvious. The sight gives me goosebumps.
