Lunaria (A Soulmark Series Finale), page 20
I choke on my gasp.
"Adrian, where's your collar?"
His obsidian eyes are blank. I tremble as he stares right through me, little muscles twitching along his jaw. Jax's hand tightens ever so slightly around mine. I quickly withdraw my nails from his thigh in response.
"Adrian?"
The soft call earns his attention, and the full brunt of his regard falls upon me. I keep my face clear of my mounting fear, though I can't keep it from my violet eyes.
Hurt infuses me as Adrian ducks his head and searches for something in his jacket pocket rather than undergo my scrutiny. He produces a key and closes the distance to my door in a jerky set of movements. The key slips and scratches against the metal lock several times before it inserts and the door swings open. Adrian, however, does not enter.
His expression is once more struck by whatever horrid deeds he committed and fixates on the trembling, outstretched hand he offers me. I stand, every inch I move calculated to avoid startling him. Adrian catches my eye mid-rise and sucks in a taut breath.
"They shouldn't have taken you. Not here. They aren't supposed to take you here."
I'm quick to cast my worry in Jax's direction, who has yet to move a muscle or say a word in Adrian's presence. The disheveled and beaten sorcerer keeps his eye down-turned.
"I didn't think I would be gone all day..." Adrian's voice trails off as I shuffle out of my corner.
"Where were you? What were you doing? Why are you covered in blood?" The longer I stare, the more my senses recoil at the evidence of his violence.
Adrian does not answer.
"What happened?" The muscles of Adrian's neck bunch and thicken as he swallows, but he does not reply. His bloodied hand remains extended toward me.
"Please," Adrian implores, an almost invisible shudder making its way from his broad shoulders down to his knees. A similar sensation engulfs me. An echo of his inner turmoil. Tears accompany the realization and they descend without prompt as I walk to him and place my hand in his. Dried blood flakes off his skin as he folds his fingers over my hand.
Neither of us moves. Neither of us speaks. The longer it persists, the more his devastation becomes my own.
"Adrian," I speak at last, "please, tell me what happened."
He averts his eyes and squeezes my hand. "I'm sorry. I thought I felt your fear while I was away, and I wasn't here to protect you." His dark eyes lift. Regret lines the half-lidded glance. "Something happened to you?"
The question is so tentative that for a moment, I wonder whether this man is an imposter. The bull-headed rokama I know, with his bristly attitude and resolute constitution, is nowhere to be found. Instinct drives me to comfort him, but the action never comes to fruition. I pause and inhale, scrunching up my nose as I trudge through the mixture of feelings he inflicts upon me.
"Something will always happen, Adrian. So long as we stay here with them."
Adrian's face pinches. His turbulent emotions proceed to abate as he wrangles and twists his expression into a blank canvas. Without another word, he tugs on my hand and leads me out of our prison. I send Jax a slight inclination of my head before we are out of sight. He tilts his head back at me, desperate hope blatant in his regard as he watches us go.
++
Adrian takes me back to the cabin, his gait increasing the closer we get.
Inside, the quiet is all-consuming. He releases my hand and moves swiftly to the dresser to procure a set of clean clothes. I watch, my face contorting in confusion and agitation as I attempt to comb through the riot of our mixed emotions. They wage war inside of me. The task to discern which belongs to who is impossible, for they all seem reasonable to claim.
"I'll be back soon," Adrian says, slamming one of the drawers shut with more force than necessary. A flush crawls up his cheeks. "I need to shower and—"
"Get all the blood off?" He refuses to meet my eyes and stiffens. "Whose blood is that, Adrian?" I take one step toward him, body tensing as well. "Yours or someone else's?"
"Both."
There is a challenge in his curt reply. He meets my disapproval head-on. I jerk my shoulders back when a tide of fury thunders inside of me to clash with his.
"I guess you were right." He begins to sneer as bitterness creeps into his tone. "I'm no better than this pack of wild dogs. I bet that doesn't surprise you. What more could you possibly expect from my kind, huh? What was it you called me our first meeting? A menace? A savage dog?" His hands clench at his side as his anger grows. "I suppose I'm finally living up to your low expectations."
To curb my nasty retort is one hell of a job, but even more difficult is stopping my intraflora from snapping at his volatility. Jax's face, swathed in hope, is what keeps me in check. Fighting won't win Adrian to our cause. Fighting amongst ourselves will only bring us closer to our downfall.
Kindness. Empathy. They are the answers. They will pave the path to our freedom. These thoughts soothe my rattled restraint more than anything. I take a breath and count to three before releasing it.
Softening the strict line of my back, I gain another foot of space. "What did they make you do?"
Adrian's mouth snaps shut. Whatever scathing retort he had at the ready flees at my delicate inquiry.
"What did they—?" His nose scrunches in consternation as a battle rages in his eyes. "It doesn't matter. I did as I was told like the good little lap dog I am."
"And they took your collar off because you did as they requested?"
"No," he mumbles half-incoherently, "it was just another one of their tests."
"A test?" I frown and fidget with my coat’s zipper as I comb through the grumbled words. When Adrian's posture relaxes at last, I speak again. "What kind of test?"
He shakes his head, unable to look at me. "One of obedience. After, Noah laid out the new consequences should I disobey or resist an order again. He's going to move you into the main house where he can keep a better eye on you."
My throat constricts as breathing becomes intangible. I twist my head from side to side and slip forward.
"Adrian, you can't—"
"Don’t worry,” he interrupts, meeting me in two long strides. "I won't mess up again. I’ll keep you safe."
He reaches out to cradle my face in his battered hands. The sight makes my gut clench, and I grasp his wrists before they can achieve their goal. I guide them down slowly and hold them between us as I witness his shameful flush. Tightening my hold, I hold his gaze.
"You can't promise that," I say gently. "How long have I been here? A week?" The timeline doesn't feel right, but with all the days and nights blurring together, I don't have a clue. "Listen to me. They will always use us against one another to get what they want... and even if we managed to please them with our compliance, they'd find some reason to punish us. We're nothing but tools and toys to them." I inhale a shuddering breath and breathe it out in the same manner. "Once our use runs out, we'll be disposed of."
"You don't understand. I made a deal—"
"What good have any of your deals done? What good has cooperation done?” I implore, “Look at Alekos and Celosia—look in the mirror, Adrian! They have no honor. We can't stay here."
He jerks his wrists from my possession and curls back his upper lip. "We aren't going anywhere."
I take in a steadying breath. Adrian's refusal would be more convincing if tendrils of desperation didn't make the end of his rebuttal fracture. "You won't survive here, Adrian. Not you, not me, nor any of my friends."
His righteous anger deflates and, in its place, is torn confusion, but even this holds a callous edge. Sensing another rejection, I close the distance between us. My hands perch atop his heart.
Time suspends as the rapid beat of his heart drums against them. Peering up, I spy his resistance falter.
"This morning Noah said that when you were gone, Alekos, Celosia, and I could have the cabin. And he didn't mean a trip," I explain with earnest, even as the color drains from my face. "He meant—"
"When I was dead."
I exhale and nod. A wave of sadness takes me by surprise at the thought of Adrian gone from this life—gone from my life. My hands drift upward, fingers tracing his collarbone to the new expanse of flesh I'm granted on his neck.
"Is that why you were happy this morning when he took you away?" Every muscle in my body locks at his sincere inquiry.
"No. Why would you say such a thing?"
"Not long after you left with him, I felt your elation through our bond. You were happy with him. Was it because he revealed that he was going to kill me? Were you overjoyed; you'd finally be rid of me?"
"No," I say sternly. "You're acting ridiculous.” Adrian glares and seizes my hands.
He growls. "Then why?"
Open up to him, a voice whispers in my mind. But I hesitate. Adrian's last betrayal left me at the mercy of their cursed amulet. If I share my newfound abilities with him, will he expose my secret?
Trust builds trust, the same voice whispers, sounding more like Winter as it grows stronger. I breathe deeply. The longer I take to win over Adrian, the smaller our chance of leaving becomes. Nor can I ignore the opportunity his collar-less state presents.
My breathing turns shallow. Perhaps this is precisely what Noah expects, and this is not only a test for Adrian, but for me. I screw my eyes shut and bat away the bleak thought.
"Luna?" A finger presses against the underside of my chin, tilting it up. "Talk to me. Say something, anything. Did Noah offer you something?"
I shake my head with vehemence and even my breathing. "Noah did little more than reinforce his atrocious behavior, and there is nothing he could offer me that would tempt me to his side. Every truce and peace he extends is a falsehood."
"... Then you were happy to be away from me?" My eyebrows scrunch together as I shake my head once more. "We fought this morning," Adrian explains.
"You are my heart's content," I whisper as I force myself to maintain eye contact and ignore the bloody marks across his face. "I do not wish you pain or misery. I do not wish to be parted from you."
Adrian swoops down before I can speak the truth about my intraflora. His full lips ensnare mine. Their possession is a gentle force that leaves me leaning into their warmth. I mewl my objection when his lips retreat and follow after them at my body's bidding.
"Tell me," he breathes as my lips brush against his. He places both hands on my waistline, shifting me to arm's length. "Please."
I chew at my bottom lip and summon my courage. "Either the collar's magic is weakening... or mine is growing stronger from the entwining."
Adrian stares at me in shock. "What?"
There's no turning back now.
I lift both hands, palms facing forward, and concentrate on my intraflora. They move at my command, though the effort is more tasking than it was before. Adrian's reaction is not what I expect.
He drops to a knee and follows the trail of blooms across my life and heart line with reverence. I'm awestruck to see this brute of a man, half covered in blood, bend to such a small act.
"The entwining did this?" he murmurs.
I stop myself from shuddering. "It's the only thing I can think of."
"When did you—you discovered it while you were with Noah, didn't you?" Adrian sucks in a breath and bows his head. My silence is answer enough. "Has he learned of this development?"
"No."
Adrian's head snaps up and rises. "Does anyone?"
"Alekos and Celosia," I say. "And Jax." Adrian growls.
"None of them can be trusted to keep your secret. If the pack finds out, or worse, the sorcerers...." He rakes both hands over his head and buzz-cut hair. "They'll test you. Experiment on you." Adrian gulps.
My lips thin as I steel myself for courage.
"Adrian... the only one I'm concerned about telling is you." I close my hand and shake my head as he opens his mouth. "You repeated what I told you in confidence. You said you'd do whatever it took to keep us safe,"—I run my eyes pointedly over his bloodied form—"But there is no way to be safe here. We both know the only thing that will deliver us from this hell is to leave."
"I tried," he seethes. "We can't just sneak out in the dead of night, or whatever grand plan you have in mind. When they catch us—and they will catch us—what do you imagine they'll do to us?"
We glare at one another in a silent standoff, the combination of our heightened emotions and proximity rendering me fit to burst. Brushing my hair behind my ears, I swallow down my nerves and say the worst truth of them all.
"To us?” I choke for a moment on what I must force out next. “Imagine what they'll do to me when you're gone. Noah told you he will take me if you do not behave, but he doesn't need a reason, Adrian. He'll do it whenever he likes. Everyone else is just... collateral." Adrian pales. "Noah desires me. He said he'd take great satisfaction in 'breaking' me."
The noise Adrian makes is akin to a cornered animal, both visceral and hair-raising.
"Take me away, Adrian, please. Please. Take me home."
"I can be your home here. We don’t have to fight.”
My head bows as I shake my head. “We cannot stay here. We must fight.”
“I can be your home,” he repeats more urgently. I shush him, cupping the side of his face.
“I want my home to be among my community. Surrounded by flowers of every color, with as many windows as the walls can fit to let in the light.” My gentle rebuff soothes him far more than I expect. His shoulders soften.
“I wish to live nearby my pack, with a home that can fit a large stone hearth for the cold season.”
His confession warms my heart. “And a cozy chair to sit on before it?” I ask in a whisper. He smiles and I return it as the mood lightens around us. But too soon does our levity leave.
“I can't fight anymore," he confesses. "I'm not strong enough. I'm not fast enough. Everything I should be—everything I once was—they've taken it from me."
"That isn't true," I say. I stare into his eyes, marveling at their fathomless depths. "You're brave and steadfast. After all you went through and what you did for Alekos and Celosia... I know your heart is in the right place, Adrian, but now I'm asking you to trust me. If we stay, we will die by their hands, and they'll enjoy every minute of our suffering."
Adrian pulls me close, takes my hands, and presses my knuckles to the apex of his brows. A heavy exhalation billows from him, but when he meets my gaze next, I dare to hope I’ve gotten through to him.
I cup his face, mindful of the blood that flakes off his jawline as I skim my thumbs across his stubble.
"Please."
His face contorts as I wait with bated breath to learn what path he will choose.
"It might be possible," he murmurs, still absorbed in thought. A glimmer of gold emerges in Adrian's shadowed eyes. My throat bobs with uncertainty, rubbing uncomfortably against the cold metal as Adrian continues to ramble. "We don't have enough time, but maybe with all the commotion we might be able to go unnoticed for a time... but we're still weak... when will her collar come off? How different is it than the others?"
"Adrian," I squeeze out his name when he breaks into another long silence. "Does this mean you'll help us?"
He hesitates then offers a terse nod. He removes my hands from his face.
"We might be able to pull it off," Adrian hedges, a vein of optimism leaking into his speech. "Tomorrow they'll celebrate the arrival of their allies and put on a show for them. After, it will only be a matter of days before the final battle takes place. At least, as far as I can gather. Our best bet will be to slip off in the chaos of tomorrow's gathering."
My mouth tips open. A celebration? The Wselfwulfs have allies?
"How do you know this? I thought you said they didn't like to tell you things?"
"Some wolves can't keep their mouths shut." Adrian produces a one-shoulder shrug. "They forget I have ears and use them. I'm aware of what's to come."
"And something will happen tomorrow? We may leave?"
A ginger smile transforms the harsh panels of Adrian's face. "Yes, something is planned tomorrow. It will be difficult finding the right moment to go, but when we do, I will try to relieve you of your subjugation collar. I've done it once before. Then we'll run. I can navigate us through the forest—" The smile fades from his face. His words stop abruptly. "What is it? What's wrong?"
My face is grim. "What about the others?"
His brows tilt downward over his eyes. Glancing away briefly, Adrian’s obsidian eyes land back on me a moment later. "What others?" I resist the urge to stomp my foot and cross my arms instead.
"Alekos and Celosia," I say. "And Jax and Keenan. We can't just leave them here. They'll kill them." Adrian balks.
"No." His immediate refusal lashes at my heart.
I go ashen. "But—"
"This plan doesn't work with more than the two of us, Luna. We can't get everyone out. Besides, who do you think they're going to use as entertainment for the masses?"
I whimper and stumble back. A wave of nausea taking me by surprise. Adrian's blood-stained hands reach out to steady me as his eyes beg me to understand.
"Think, Luna. Haven't Alekos and Celosia told you what they’ve done to them? They force them to give their blood to champions of the boxing ring and pit. Why would this time be any different?"
My bottom lip trembles. "And Keenan and Jax?"
Adrian frowns. "What better way to flaunt their strength than to put down their enemies right in front of their new allies?" I whirl out of Adrian's embrace, unable to accept the truth. My hands inch further around my sides as I bend at the waist.
Breathe. Just breathe.
"No, no, no," I mumble. "That's not part of the plan! We have to help them, Adrian. They don't deserve this. They're good."
A subtle warmth meets my hunched back as the floor creaks with Adrian's advance. Goosebumps raise the hair on my arms. The small space heater isn't on, and the cabin is colder than I remember. I shiver as I comb my hair out from behind my ears.
