Going Up (Up & Down Book 1), page 23
I stood up ready to tell Nick that it wasn’t going to happen tonight, but that I appreciated his perseverance, only to open the door and be completely shocked by who stood on the other side.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
"Amelia? What are you doing here?" I exclaimed.
A million reasons flew through my head to explain her arrival, and none of them made any sense whatsoever. She smiled coyly at me, which was strange considering the interactions we'd had up until this point.
"Can we talk?" She replied.
"It's 10:30 at night," I said, after I'd looked down at my watch. "Besides, I'm not sure what there is we need to say to each other."
"I won't keep you long. I promise."
She seemed to be a different person, which worried me. I guess after everything I'd been through believing someone was capable of such a massive change was an impossible feat to achieve. Still I stepped back allowing Amelia to walk in to my room.
She strode across the floor, looking as exquisite as always. She wore a floor length Aqua halter neck dress that clung to her curves in the right places and flares out around her knees. Her hair was out and bounced as she walked. I frowned and looked down at my own mediocre attire.
At least one thing hadn't changed, I still felt like pond scum in comparison to her beauty.
Reluctantly I followed behind her and we both sat down at the small table by the sliding door that led out on to the balcony.
"I'm here for a photo shoot, I only found out Nick had a staff retreat going on because a mutual friend told me at work today."
I nodded, still a little hesitant to take her word and believe it. Our interactions in the past had led me to believe that she didn't like me very much.
"Amelia, why are you here though? In my room?"
Amelia looked outside and shrugged, her eyes began to water. She looked back at me and then whispered.
"I'm pregnant."
My stomach dropped, and for a selfish moment I wondered if perhaps she and Nick had consummated their fake relationship and I let a burning jealousy rage through me. Why wouldn't he sleep with her, she was gorgeous after all. Amelia wiped her eyes with her fingers then took a deep breath.
"I came to you, because I don't know anyone in my world like you. I need your help." She pleaded, her eyes were wide, and she looked completely broken.
"I don't know what I can do to help." I murmured softly.
"Talking about it is all I need."
"Alright, well, does the father know?" I replied, my earlier thoughts had disappeared, something about the way Amelia was acting told me that even if he was the father, I would have nothing to be jealous of. Amelia shook her head and bit her bottom lip.
"We met six months ago. I thought he loved me, but he's just stopped coming around and refuses my calls.” Amelia stopped and took a deep breath. “Once I found out I was pregnant I had to let Nick out of the contract. I know you know everything about Nick and I, the contract, everything."
"Wait, you let Nick out of the contract because of your pregnancy?" I replied both shocked and impressed Amelia had done such a thing. A pregnancy, even to another man would have almost certainly cemented Nick into staying in a pretend relationship.
Amelia nodded, a stray tear rolled down her cheek and then she sighed.
"I've been a horrible selfish person my entire life, and now everything has changed. I've got a little life growing inside me. Being a cold person has separated me from having true friends, No one likes me for me. I'm surrounded by people who are nice to my face but horrible as soon as I leave the room. It's lonely."
"You don't seem horrible and selfish right now Amelia. You seem well... normal and as for the fake people, you don't need them. You're being honest right now, and for the first time since I met you, I find myself actually liking you."
Amelia smiled then cocked her head to the side.
"I can see why he loves you," She whispered. "He's very lucky to have found you."
I blushed and placed my hand over Amelia's on the table. While the relationship had never been real, Amelia's feelings had been real and it was obvious that she wished she could have had the real deal with Nick.
"So I'm going to go back to LA and then I'll stop working. My father has disowned me, or he will once I out his dodgy dealings. The problem with suddenly growing a conscience is I can't watch him continue to treat people the way he does." Amelia asserted with a confident smile. "and then I am going to have a baby. Maybe I'll model again, maybe I won't, but I've changed and while some of it is because of the pregnancy, some of it is because I met you. So thank you"
Me? My face must have shown some confusion because Amelia chuckled and patted my hand.
"At dinner that night, when I was such a horrible pig to that poor woman in the bathroom, you weren't afraid to let me know how shitty a person I was. It was the beginning of an eye opener for me."
I smiled, and my face reddened. I'd seen red that night for sure. Something told me now though, that if the same thing happened again right now, she'd have reacted completely differently.
Amelia left by 11pm, she'd asked me not to mention to Nick that she'd been here, and I promised that I wouldn't. She wanted to slip back in to obscurity and I let her.
I spent the rest of the night practicing, finally falling in to bed at 2am. My eyes felt like sandpaper, and I was reaching the point of needing toothpicks to keep them open. Morning came far too quickly and when the sun poured through my open curtains directly on my head, I rued not closing them before I'd gone to bed. Still I needed to work on the music for the gig that loomed over my head.
The day past quickly though, and I was thankful not to have heard from the others at all. I'd been able to put in the focus required for my music. The focus I should have had last night. Around 3pm DJ called and said that I needed to be ready by 5.30, and that he was sending Janie to my room to help with makeup and an outfit. She arrived shortly after I hung up from DJ holding a big toiletry bag in her hands, with a black dress bag slung over her arm.
"Nervous?" Janie exclaimed with a wide grin as she walked into the room. She threw the toiletry bag on to the bed and handed me the dress bag. "Compliments of DJ."
I looked down at the dress bag, more nervous about what it contained than the performance I was going to do in a few hours. I nodded in reply to Janie's question none the less and began to unzip the bag. I pulled out what looked like a short, but floaty black dress. I sighed with relief, glad that while a good percentage of my legs would be showing I wasn't going to look like I'd had my outfit painted on.
Janie began to set up the table with make up while I disappeared to have a long hot shower. I practiced the songs in the shower as I washed my hair. I'd been in there longer than I anticipated because when I turned the nozzle back off again, my fingers felt like rubber against the cool steel.
I stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel for my hair, and wrapped it up. It was the one thing I'd remembered my mom doing for me as a kid, she'd called it the 'princess do', and she would call me Princess Sarah as she dressed me after my baths. The memory made me smile, Thinking of her right now had set my mind at ease about the gig, and it was like she was around me, telling me she believes in me.
I dried my body and dressed in the dress. I felt like a goon in it, it was far too dressy for me, but even I had to admit, that when I looked in the mirror, it looked amazing. The straps and neck line had an adornment of black, white and silver beading; there dress had a tear drop chiffon overdress, with a slip underneath. Satisfied I left the bathroom and walked out to Janie. She looked over at me and smiled
"That dress is amazing, it's like it was made for you, and your legs! I never knew you were hiding those puppies" she giggled, as she patted down a seat at the table. I walked over and sat down.
"It really is astoundingly beautiful, my legs are nothing special though, and I swear it is all the dress."
"Just take a compliment." Janie insisted, as she combed through my hair.
After an hour of primping me to within an inch of my life, Janie finally took a step back. She took a sip of the Mai tai we'd ordered from room service and nodded.
"You look hot! Like, H. O. T." She smiled, fanning herself with an eye shadow palette.
She held out a mirror and I pulled it up to my face. I didn't really look like myself, at least not the version of myself I was used to seeing. My makeup was actually pretty natural, except for the Dark red lipstick and mascara that made my lashes look 10 times as thick and long as normal. Janie had also styled my hair into a messy quiff, which slowly moved in to a braid.
"I look... like a,” I stopped and placed the mirror down, I couldn't admit out loud that I looked like what I hoped my voice would help me to become, it seemed conceited to admit I looked good.
"A rock goddess?" Janie added, as she put away her makeup.
"Thank you Janie, you sure had your work cut out for you, but you've done an amazing job."
"Stop underestimating yourself. You are stunning, you always have been and tonight at this gig you are going to blow everyone away. Including me, because if you sing anything like what I heard in the shower an hour ago tonight, well... yeah."
I blushed and stood up. Without much thought I wrapped my arms around Janie, her pep talk had reinforced the feeling I'd had earlier, when thinking about my mom.
At 5.30 DJ came by and picked Janie and I up. Everyone else had left for dinner at the place I was performing not long before, and I would be taking to the stage as dinner was being served. We caught a taxi to the restaurant, and once there, Janie left to join the others, while DJ and I entered through a back entrance of the restaurant.
"The band has your music, are you ready Sarah?" DJ exclaimed, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder. I nodded nervously peeking through the stage curtain. The place was packed out, which caused my heart to gallop against my rib cage. A man walked up to me and handed me a mic, then DJ gently pushed me toward the curtain.
"Ladies and gentlemen, we have in house entertainment for you tonight. All the way from LA, Please welcome to the stage, Sarah Roxy!" an MC spoke.
I stepped out on to the stage, the lights that were being directed on me, thankfully blanked out most of the diners, which I was thankful for.
I took a deep breath, and waited for the band to start playing. Finally they did, and as my cue arrived I opened my mouth, and nodded, telling myself silently that I was ready to take the next step in my life and this was it.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
“drowning in the water, I struggle to stay afloat
My feelings are pulling down on me,
My enemies stay to gloat
I don’t know why you do the things you do
I just hope I don’t end up like you”
I sang the words like I’d known them forever, after all it felt like I had. When I got to the bridge, I heard Janie wolf whistle and call out my name. Something inside me suddenly electrified and I felt more alive than I ever had before. I wasn’t just Sarah anymore, something else had made it's way in to my soul. The nerves faded as the adrenalin rush took over, and I poured everything in to the song. Finally as the last notes of the song were played by the man playing guitar behind me, I smiled and held my hand to my heart. The room broke in to an overwhelming noise of applause, some even stood up from their dinner to give me an ovation. I’d never been one to enjoy attention on me, but I had to admit that this was nice.
The lights dimmed, and I glanced over towards my friends. Janie, Josh, Marc and my other ex-colleagues were all sharing the same shocked face, Janie was still clapping like crazy.
Nick however, looked bemused.
The music for Creep began before I had a chance to study Nick’s expression completely. I brushed my own confusion away and sat on the stool in the center of the stage. Once the set was over, I left the stage. The applause seemed to go on for quite some time and I knew by the reaction alone, that I’d succeeded in planting the seed DJ had wanted me too.
“That,” DJ exclaimed, pulling me in to an overbearing hug. “Was perfect!”
“Thanks, it felt pretty amazing.” I replied.
DJ released me from his arms just in time for the others to arrive backstage to ambush me with hugs.
“You were amazing!” Janie exclaimed.
The four of us pulled back from the group hug and I realized Nick was nowhere to be seen. Why hadn’t he come backstage?
“He said he’d thought he better stay with the others.” Josh said as he noted my searching. I shrugged and nodded, I couldn’t keep Nick all to myself. Still, I’d wanted to ask what was on his mind after that first song, because he’d looked so puzzled.
“Go eat Sarah, the chef’s bringing over some dinner to the table for you.” DJ interjected.
I nodded and walked behind the others toward the table. I sat next to Janie, which also mean I sat directly across from Nick.
“You lit up the room.” Nick whispered.
I looked up at him and smiled, I wanted to kiss him, right here in front of everyone, To hell with the consequences. Nick must had sensed my foolish thoughts because he smiled, but shook his head softly. He looked around to ensure the others were not focusing on our conversation before sitting forward and opening his mouth.
“I wrote that song.” he remarked.
Song?
Wait, he’d written the original DJ had asked me to learn?
“You wrote Drowning?” I replied, leaning forward a little.
“Yes, I told you I could play the guitar, I wasn’t lying.” Nick murmured with a grin. “Turns out, I probably could have sped up your learning of the song after all.”
“It’s a beautiful, if not pensive song. Did you know DJ had given it to me?”
Nick shook his head and took a sip of his beer.
“I gave it to him a year or two ago. I never thought he’d use it for one of his artists. He’d just asked to see some of my stuff one day.”
“You have others?” I replied shocked that I was discovering this previously unknown side of Nick right now, after I’d already performed his song in front of a packed room.
“Many, but they’re mostly all dark jaded, self absorbed songs.”
“Who was that one about?”
Nick’s eyes dropped from mine, and he pushed the small piece of leftover chocolate mud cake around his plate with a fork. I’d pressed upon a nerve but I let it go, considering we were sitting at the table with everyone else.
Before I had another chance to put my foot in my mouth, a waiter stopped by and placed a shrimp cocktail in front of me.
Once I’d eaten we all began to make moves to leave. The shuttle took us back to the hotel and Nick, who’d seemingly forgotten about the abrupt end to our dinner conversation walked me back to my room.
“Do you want me to come in tonight?” Nick said, pressing his body against mine. His hands slid up my back, slightly hooking the fabric of my dress in his fingers. He took advantage of my hair being pulled back and nibbled my neck gently with his lips.
“Mmmhmm.” I moaned in reply, due to no legible words coming to mind as a worthy reply.
I somehow managed to unlock the door without looking, I turned the handle and we fell back through the door.
Nick looked at me for a moment, his hands still sitting on the curves of my butt, and smiled.
“I love you.” He murmured.
“I love you too.”
Before I could say anything else, Nick’s sweet and juicy lips pressed hungrily against mine. He lifted me up walked with me in his arms, to the bed. I gripped the collar of his shirt to stop him from pulling back. Electric shocks ran through my veins and I was at the brink of ecstasy just from his kiss.
“Be patient, We’ve got all night.” Nick chuckled, as he kissed the corners of my mouth.
“I like the sound of that.” I replied, raising my eyebrow suggestively.
I kissed Nick again, a little less forceful. Softly I put my hands on his cheeks, kissing him felt so good that it made something in my chest actually ache. I felt like at any moment I’d wake up from this dream and find myself in a nightmare unable to escape. It was a horrible thing to think, but after everything I’d been through, living a nightmare again really frightened me.
“You look worried.”
“I’m not, I’m happy,” I mused. “Just sometimes I find it hard to accept my life has changed so much. I’m scared I’m going to wake up.”
“This,” Nick said, sliding one of his hands along my leg, over my hips and along the rise of my breast. “Is all real life Sarah, you’re not going to wake up.”
With that, I gave myself to Nick once more, our bodies writhed between the sheets for far longer than we should have allowed, because when we finally fell back, completely spent. The sun was rising.
“We’d better sleep for a couple of hours I suppose.” I moaned huskily.
“Yep.” Nick answered, already succumbing to the power of the sandman.
A few hours later, the sunlight began to peek through a small gap in the curtains, gently rousing me from my sleep. I opened my eyes, and pawed for my phone. It was 11am.
I couldn’t hear Nick breathing, nor could I feel his body against mine. He’d left me to sleep, while he continued to do the activities he’d planned with everyone. I snuggled in to the blankets again, and sleepily pulled the sheet up over my shoulders.
Just as I began to drift off to sleep, the room’s phone began ringing. The obnoxious sound instantly woke me from my drowsiness and whilst feeling somewhat clumsy I fumbled for the phone.
I picked up the handset and put it to my ear.
“Ugh.”
“Sarah, its DJ.”
