Going Up (Up & Down Book 1), page 14
Most of me had the maturity to realize this was a very bad idea, so when my bus finally pulled in to the stop I hopped on without a second thought.
I tried to push thoughts of Nick from my mind. I tried to take in the bright night lights of LA and enjoy the ambiance. I tried to separate myself from my feelings.
I was failing miserably.
My phone vibrated against my thigh, my stomach dropped realizing it was nick again. Instead of ignoring it, I pulled the phone from my pocket, and sighed with relief when I realized it was a text.
Let me know you’re safe – Nick.
By now the bus was almost at my stop, I text back and said I was fine, and thanked him for dinner. Clearing up what had happened would have to come at another time. Right now I had to get home and forget tonight had ever happened. I pressed the stop button once the driver turned in to my street. Once he stopped, I hopped off the bus and walked across the street.
Both Marc and Josh’s cars were in the driveway, I walked up the path and opened the front door.
“Honey’s I’m home!” I called with a laugh.
“Sarah! You’re home! How was dinner?” Janie asked her eyes narrowing. I could tell she wanted to add a “with Nick” on the end of her sentence, but didn’t because the boys were hovering around behind her, making coffee in the kitchen.
“It was fine, what are we watching?” I asked flopping down on the dark blue suede couch.
Janie shuffled up the couch to give me a little room then turned the TV off.
She looked at me, her emerald green eyes were staring intensely at me now, and it was obvious that I was not getting away with keeping silent anymore. Not about Nick at least. I glanced over in the direction to the boys who were laughing about something ridiculous, they disappeared down the hall with their coffees soon after.
“They’ve hooked their consoles up, we won’t see either of them all night. Now spill!”
“There really isn’t anything to spill.”
“You and I both know that isn’t true Sarah. Today at lunch the tension was so thick once you ran off from lunch we had to cut it when a knife. Both Josh and Marc were left completely dumbfounded when Nick ran off after you, especially as his lunch had barely been touched.”
I shrugged, avoiding Janie’s eye contact.
“Talk to me, maybe I can help.” Janie whispered, her hand gently touched my shoulder.
“You can’t, but thank you.”
“try me.”
I took a deep breath and steadied myself.
“I love him.” I whispered, as the words left my mouth, butterflies twinkled in my stomach, followed closely by the sinking feeling that loving him was futile right now.
“I thought so, does he feel the same?” She replied softly.
I just nodded, there was a lump in my throat again now, and I was afraid that if I spoke tears would begin to flow.
“So then he just needs to break it off with Amelia, he’s never been happy with her, they’ve never seemed ‘together’.” Janie suggested, as if it was an easy solution to an easy problem. I scoffed, and rubbed my eyes.
“He can’t break things off with her.”
Janie frowned and shook her head.
“I thought he was better than that? Picking her over you…. The woman he loves and for what?”
“Everything Janie. Everything.”
I yawned and stretched. Bed was calling me, and I was going to obey it. I gave Janie a small hug and thanked her for caring before heading down the hallway to my own room and climbing in to bed.
I chucked my phone on the night stand and my eyes slowly began to get heavier and heavier. I was on the brink of falling in to a deep sleep when my phone began vibrating. Without thinking I grabbed it and answered the call.
“Sarah, I’m sorry.” Nick’s voice echoed down the phone
“Hmprehth,” I mumbled, I’d meant to say ‘its okay, I'm fine’ but in my dozing state my words jumbled themselves.
“are you in bed Sarah?”
“Mmmm.”
“I called to apologize about Amelia showing up like that.”
“It’s fine,” I replied suddenly very awake at the mere mention of Amelia's name. “It reminded me exactly why I need to stay away from you. I’m sorry Nick. Tonight was a mistake.”
Nick didn’t reply, in fact he didn’t say anything for a few minutes and I began to drift off to sleep again.
“I know, and you’re right. I just needed to hear your voice one last time.” he whispered, his voice was quiet and sad, and part of me, wanted to ask him to come to me, but instead I settled and said
“We still work in the same building Nick, we can say hello.”
“No, we can’t. Sorry.” Nick replied his voice was cold, and low.
Nick hung up before I could say another word and my heart ached mercilessly. A hour ago we’d admitted we loved each other. Now everything had changed again.
The sudden shift had me confused. Granted, the whole situation between Nick and I was full of sudden shifts, but this time something was different.
I placed the phone back down on the bedside table, and switched the light out.
I let the thoughts drain from my head, too tired to over think it all tonight.
Tomorrow was a new day.
CHAPTER TWENTY
When I woke the next morning the events of the night before came flooding back like a rough tide on a stormy day. I’d been with Nick; we’d admitted mutual feelings, regardless of the insanity of it all.
Then it all came crashing down on top of us.
What had happened at his apartment had been all kinds of wrong and right mixed together, and it never should have happened. We agreed on that.
So where had the 180 degree turn come from?
Why had the guy who’d been some kind of attempted modern day hero suddenly decided that being friends wasn’t a possibility?
I picked my phone up from the night stand almost hoping for a text, but there was absolutely nothing there. I felt a little like a sad desperate girl who lives on the beck and call of some rich man who snaps his fingers and has me come running when he wants.
I sighed and kicked the covers off, if nothing else, my bed could feel the wrath of my confusion and frustration, although beating up my bedding was highly unlikely to satisfy the simmering feelings that were slowly working themselves up to a boil.
I sat up and rubbed my face, thank god I’d been tired when I’d crawled in to bed, falling asleep after last night would have been impossible without a degree of exhaustion involved. It was just a pity that among all the drama I still felt like death warmed up.
I stood up and the room spun a little, I composed myself and walked out of the bedroom and down the hall to the kitchen to ingest some coffee in the hopes of waking myself up.
“You look awful!!” Janie exclaimed as I stumbled toward the kitchen bench.
“Thanks.” I croaked.
“You’re sick! You can’t go to work like that.” Janie exclaimed, pressing her hand to my forehead. “Yip, definitely got a slight fever there, call Julie and let her know.”
“I’m fine, honestly. I need the money anyway.” I replied filling a mug with filter coffee.
“Sarah, come on. You’re my friend; I’m not going to leave you homeless of hungry. Take the day off. You need to rest.”
“Ugh,” I groaned sitting down at the table. My head was thumping now, and the idea of going back to bed was appealing to say the least.
“I’ll call Nick!!” Janie teased, unaware of last night’s events. I scoffed, like he’d care if I quit altogether after last night. He’d washed his hands of me and while I was keen to find out why, I also knew staying away from him was the best thing.
“Fine, I will stay home, I don’t have her number though.” I whispered.
“Just call the office and ask to be put through, she’ll be there.”
I nodded and stood back up. I picked my coffee mug up off the table and walked back to the bench and poured it down the drain. I dragged my feet back down to my bedroom and picked up the phone. I dialed the number of Booked Out and when a rep answered I had the call patched through to Julie.
All would have been good and well if Julie had been there herself.
Unfortunately, for no other reason than just to rip my undies, Nick answered.
“Julie Stanton's phone. This is Nikolai Jackson, how can I help.”
“Uh… it’s Sarah. I won’t be in today. Could you let Julie know please? Thanks.”
I finished my spiel and went to disconnect the call. This was far too awkward to torture myself with.
“Sarah, are you okay. You sound sick.”
Oh? So now he cared again?
“I’m fine. Just a cold. Thanks.”
“I’ll let Julie know Sarah. I hope you’re feeling better soon.”
“mmhmm.” I replied.
I hung up and lay down delicately. Before I could really think about anything else, I fell fast asleep.
When I woke again I felt slightly better, I picked up my phone. 12:14pm. I’d been asleep for a few hours.
The phone had a missed call and two messages.
Given that Nick was still the only person with my new number I knew the texts were from him. Reluctantly I opened them.
Sarah, I need to explain something, can I come over? – Nick
Sarah, I’m out of the office today. I’d really like to come over for a chat if you’re up to it. I’ll bring OJ for the patient. – Nick
I frowned and stared at the texts. They were a far cry from the phone call and I was completely and utterly confused by it all. I ignored the texts, and left my phone on the bed.
I got out of bed and walked from the room to the bathroom. I turned the nozzle on and waited for the water to heat up.
Once it was warm enough I stripped of my pajamas and climbed in to the water.
After a few minutes I turned the water back off.
I wrapped my hair in a towel and wrapped a towel around me and left the bathroom with my Pj’s in my hand. I walked down the hallway to the laundry and placed my clothes in the hamper before heading back up the hallway to my room. I was about to shut the door and get dressed when there was a knock at the door.
For a few seconds I mentally tossed up whether or not I should pretend I wasn’t home. Unfortunately the fact the door had glass panes meant that my shadow at least would be visible from here. I, against my better judgment, tip toed back down the hall to the front door.
“Uh, hi?”
“Sarah? It’s Nick. Sorry I know I shouldn’t have just dropped by, I just needed to explain.”
What the!
“Nick, um. I’m sick… highly contagious.” I lied, frozen to the spot.
“I’m happy to take my chances.”
I groaned and unlocked the door. I opened it and Nick’s eyes widened as he realized I was currently undressed, prancing around the house in a towel.
“I’ll just go get dressed,” I said avoiding Nick’s eyes, I turned and walked back down to my bedroom.
I pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt.
I walked back down to the living room. Nick sat on the sofa staring out the window. He looked rigid and nervous and it amused me greatly that the usually suave Nick wasn’t so confident today. However, he got his own back when I noticed he was wearing almost the exact outfit he’d worn the first day we met, and it made my heart skip a beat. Deep down I had to remind myself that while he’d grown accustomed to his high flying lifestyle, at heart he was as fucked up as the rest of us.
“Do you want coffee?” I asked, my voice cracking as the words came out.
Nick turned and looked over at me, he frowned and shook his head.
“You’re sick Sarah. Sit down.”
“I’m feeling a little better now actually. I can make coffee.”
“No.”
I shrugged and walked over to the armchair and sat down.
“Sarah, I am sorry about last night. I never should have spoken to you like that.”
“Its fine, you were right, we can’t be friends. Things keep happening.”
I looked over at Nick, whose face dropped, he looked away.
“Amelia and I talked last night, and she riled me up something chronic Sarah. Her father told her in depth details he'd uncovered about my past, about my sister. She said she wasn’t planning to do anything with the info until she came over, and found you there. She told me that if I didn’t cut myself off from you completely she’d hunt out my sister and expose her story publicly.”
My mouth dropped and I stood up and without a second thought sat down next to Nick.
How could there be people this vindictive and nasty in the world for the sake of a few dollars, or one upmanship. It was obvious that the father feeding the information on to Amelia was a direct attempt to thwart the end of the contract period from playing out, and Amelia just wanted to make me pay…. For what I wasn’t completely certain of.
“Nick, that’s horrible.”
“I’m sorry I attempted to do what Amelia wanted and cut myself off from you.”
“Nick, I’m not sure you should be risking anything when it comes to Amelia and her father.”
“They can’t hurt me. I won’t bow out, but I’m going to do everything in my power to get her to walk away before the damn six months is over.”
“No more us though Nick, not now.”
Nick nodded sullenly in agreement. “I know.”
Nick and I chatted for a while longer, and when he left I felt a lot more at ease with our lack of a relationship. So far it had been a wild ride. Full of all the twist and turns you’d expect in a soap opera. It had been an eye opener for sure. Still the fact I couldn’t share a mind blowing kiss with him when I wanted, I couldn’t touch him, and run my fingers down his back. I couldn’t moan his name as he took me to the edge of reality and back again, and I wouldn’t be able to until Amelia was out of the picture for good.
Later that night when the others were home Janie came bounding in to my room.
“I got a strange email today from Nick.” She smiled flopping on top of my bed.
“Yup. He asked me to talk you in to something.” She smiled.
“Oh god.”
“He wants you to sign on to the books as a musician, he must think you’re really good!”
I laughed at his creativity. After all, he’d been on our sofa mere hours ago and never mentioned a thing about this signing business again.
“He’s attempting to peer pressure me!” I smiled, genuinely amused.
“I’m just curious about what you can do.”
“Nothing really. Nick just thinks he heard me sing and said I was really good.”
“That’s a real compliment coming from him; he can pick true talent out just like that.”
I frowned and shook my head. Although it amused me that now Nick was doing his bidding to 'help me' through outside avenues I had to put my foot down. The idea was warming to me, music was a big passion, a big outlet and the more I thought about it, the more the idea of being a musician seemed interesting. But not yet, it was another thing that would need to wait until Nick, and his complicated contract ceased to exist.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
“You should sing for me” Janie exclaimed, I looked over at her and shook my head as I scoffed. She stared back at me, a hopeful look ever present on her face.
“You’re kidding right? You want me to just break out in to song?” I laughed.
“Those kids on Glee do it, why can’t you?” She remarked with a cheeky grin.
“Those kids on Glee are actors. I’m not, I don’t know if I could handle having all eyes on me.”
Janie looked me up and down and shook her head.
“You’re made to have all eyes on you Sarah. There is just something about you that pulls others in.”
“riiiiiight. I’m hardly a Victoria’s secret model.” I scoffed, my voice dripped with sarcasm as I rolled my eyes.
“I don’t mean just because of the way you look Sarah. Which just for the record, you’re actually a very stunning girl. I meant there is just something about you that demands attention. I know because the first time I met you, I knew I’d met someone that was going to change my life. I just didn’t know how yet.”
“That’s a bit dramatic.”
“No, it isn’t and you know, even though you won’t admit it to me. I bet that Nick feels the same too. The guy hasn’t seemed the same since you walked into the office.”
“If that were true he wouldn’t be engaged still Janie.”
With that, Janie let go of the discussion and then left my bedroom.
I left the room myself a little while later to make something for dinner only to find Josh had made tacos. Feeling hungry and pretty much well I made two tacos and sat down at the table to eat with the others.
“So, this work trip in a month. I was thinking one night we could go to a luau. I was Googling Hawaii and it’s one of the must do things.” Josh exclaimed excitedly.
My mouth dropped. The resort destination was Hawaii? It had to be some kind of joke.
“Hawaii?” I questioned, placing my taco back down upon my plate.
“Yeah Nick sent out a mass email today with group dates and information. Kind of shocked myself. It’s the first time in five years something like this has been planned.” Marc replied with a smile
“It’s almost like the guys gone crazy in love.” Janie added with a mischievous grin.
I shot my eyes in her direction and shook my head subtly. The last thing I needed was the boys asking questions, even though I was pretty sure Josh was already wondering.
“Luau sounds like fun, will Sarah and I have to wear coconut bras and hula skirts?” Janie laughed as she nudged me in the side with her elbow. I kept my eyes down as my face reddened. Of course she’d suggest something silly like that.
“Well I don’t think anyone would complain if you do!” Marc remarked.
“I still can’t believe the destination is Hawaii.” I mumbled, suddenly not very hungry.
