Hooked On His Thuggish Ways, page 3
“Is there a problem?” Mrs. Jackson cleared her throat and asked.
“Oh no,” Kaizlyn quickly answered as she scurried to her seat with her head down.
Sighing, I couldn’t believe my damn luck. This was going to be one long ass year due to the fact that I had to share a class with my now ex-girlfriend.
As Mrs. Jackson talked, I looked at the clock as it moved in slow motion. Tick. Tock. I was literally counting down every second until the dismissal bell rang.
I swear I could feel Kaizlyn’s eyes burning a hole right through my damn head.
Finally, the bell had rung and I was sprinting out of class. I was trying to get as far away from Kaizlyn as I could. One would have thought that she was trying to kill me the way I ran up out of that class.
School was now over and I had just gotten out of football practice. Chyna had caught a ride with her friend Marissa, so I didn’t have to worry about if she needed a ride.
While walking out of the side door, I had my gym bag on my shoulder as I walked through the parking lot, headed to my car.
“Fuck,” I expressed out loud but in a low tone. It was like everywhere I had turned today Kaizlyn was somewhere right around the corner.
I gathered my thoughts just in case she tried to talk to me and began walking in her direction. She stood just a few feet away from me, with her gym bag on her shoulder and her backpack on her back. She was dressed in tiny red shorts and a black school spirit shirt. I knew that she had just gotten out of practice and must have been waiting on her mom to come and get her.
I watched as she dialed a number on her phone, put the phone to her ear then let out a deep sigh when the person didn’t answer. The closer I got to her, the more I could see the worry lines on her forehead.
I guess it was pure instincts, but I couldn’t help but to ask her, “Is everything good?”
The look she turned and gave me, had me wishing I would have just kept to myself.
“Don’t fucking talk to me Melo,” she sassed as she turned back in the opposite direction and put the phone back to her ear.
“Why isn’t she answering,” she said out loud as she huffed. She took the phone back down from her ear and began to text.
“If you need a ride, I can drop you off,” I let her know. Even though I had broken up with her, I couldn’t find myself leaving her at the school if she didn’t have a ride.
“Oh, so now you can drop me off? Where is your little girlfriend you broke up with me for?” She spun around and was currently sounding so bitter and angry that I wanted to just take back my words and pass her ass on up.
“Listen, do you want a ride or not? I mean, you could continue to wait here for whoever you are calling.” I shrugged my shoulders and began to walk off. I wasn’t about to stand there begging her to get in the car with me. She either wanted a ride or she wanted to wait for one. It didn’t make me no difference.
“Wait Melo… wait,” she called out in a defeated tone.
Looking over my shoulder, Kaizlyn began to jog towards me until she caught up to me and matched my stride. I looked her up and down but didn’t say a word to her. Instead, we both got into my car and drove all the way to her house with nothing but the music playing.
Riding with Melo was so fucking weird. This was the same nigga that had broken my heart and stepped on that bitch. I swear, I would have continued to wait but my mother wasn’t answering her phone which wasn’t like her at all.
Pulling up to my house, Melo didn’t even worry about parking. Instead, just like an Uber or Taxi would, he stopped right in front of my house to let me out.
Clearing my throat, I nervously fiddled with my phone before I turned towards Melo. “Why didn’t you just tell me instead of having me look stupid in front of most of the kids at school?”
I had to ask him. I needed to get that off of my chest. That was the one question that had been plaguing my mind.
“I don’t know. I just couldn’t. I’m sorry yo,” he replied. The sad thing was, he couldn’t make eye contact with me. That only angered me though. I expected more from him. I expected more respect from his ass.
“That’s your answer? You don’t know?” I shook my head at his choice of words. How in the fuck did you not know something? Everything had a reason behind it but I guess like I figured, Melo didn’t have the balls to keep it real with me.
“Man, Kaizlyn what do you want me to say?” He finally looked me in the eyes. The expression on his face was stale just like this conversation we were having.
“Nothing. You’re right. Thank you for the ride Melo.” I glared at him before I turned and reached for the door.
“I’ll just sit here until you get inside.”
“Nah, you can go. I’m good.” I got out and slammed the door behind me.
Today wasn’t my day and I couldn’t wait to get inside and tell my mother all about it. I truly didn’t think today could get any worse. I was emotionally drained and I needed a big, warm hug from my mother and for her to tell me everything was going to be ok.
As I adjusted the two bags that I was carrying, I made my way up to the front door. Before reaching for the doorknob, I looked over my shoulder to see that Melo was still sitting there, waiting for me to go inside. I gave him an evil look before I twisted the doorknob and entered my house.
“Mommmm…” I called out as I dropped my bags on the floor and went into kitchen. I was expecting to be hit by the smell of dinner cooking but instead, the kitchen was empty and I was starving.
I wonder where she’s at? I pondered as I walked over to the fridge to grab me a bottle of water. I twisted the cap off and took a sip as I headed for the stairs. I walked up the stairs doing two at a time until I finally reached the top.
Knocking first, I waited outside of Ted and my mother’s bedroom door. After knocking and getting no answer, I walked in.
“Oh my God!” I screamed so loudly that the windows rattled.
Dropping my phone and the bottle of water I had, I ran over to my mother. She was lying on the floor as blood drained from her head. Her poor face was pale and her body was lifeless.
“Mommy. Mommy. No.” I cried hard as fuck as I dropped down to my knees and pulled her body into my arms.
“Lord no. It’s too soon. I need her. Please don’t take her. Please.” I rocked as I screamed and cried. I needed God himself to come down here and give me my mother back. She was all I had. There was nobody out here that could love me like her. Care for me like her and be there for me.
My body felt numb and my heart felt like it was no longer beating. The air in the room seemed to have been getting sucked out, and it felt like I couldn’t breathe.
Closing my eyes together tightly, I held her so tightly until I finally got up. I ran over to my phone and quickly dialed 911. Even though I already knew my mother’s fate, there was still this tiny piece of me holding on with hope that this was just a dream. A nightmare that I could wake up from. That she would make it and that we would laugh and joke about it later, but that wasn’t the case.
The loud knocks on the door pulled me from my thoughts. I quickly rushed downstairs and opened the door. Seeing the paramedics and the police at the front door only made it real. The only thing I could do was point up the stairs before I broke down to my knees crying.
Three months later
“Kaizlyn, you know it’s better to talk about the pain rather than hold it all in?” Ms. Renee, the counselor at the girl’s group home, stated.
I had completed shut down after my mother died. I had no interest in talking to anybody or reliving that day over in my head. That had to have been the worst day in my life. I felt like the less I talked about it the less it would hurt, but I was wrong. I was suffering from it. Even though I might have appeared ok, I thought about committing suicide way more than I would like to admit.
I was currently zoned out and Ms. Renee’s words were going through one ear and out the other, like always. Since I had been here, she had been trying to get me to open up but had failed miserably.
There was nothing to talk about. All she wanted to talk about was my mother and that pain was still causing me to wake up out of my sleep, sweating with tears in my eyes. I had wanted it all to just be a terrible dream but each day that I had woken up, with her not in my presence and me in this damn group home, made everything a reminder that it was real.
That the black hole that I now had in my heart would never be filled. I was a damaged and a lost soul. I honestly didn’t want to be found. I wasn’t trying to heal and didn’t care to listen to anyone tell me how to do it.
“Kaizlyn. Kaizlyn!” Ms. Renee escalated her soft-spoken voice.
She was never one to yell or get loud. She was very sweet. She was beautiful with a stunning glow to her. Her hair was always in this naturally curly afro and her chocolate skin always looked like it was dipped in a gloss.
Slowly moving my eyes from the tile floor, I darted them up to her round face. “Yes?” I dryly answered.
“Did you hear anything that I just said to you?” She shuffled the papers that were on her desk, folded her arms across her chest and leaned back in her brown office chair.
“Truthfully, no. So, can I go now? I’m tired,” I told her. I had been sleeping so much lately. I found that the more I slept, the less I thought about my mother, the less I had to cry and face the reality. At least when I was sleep there was a possibility that she could come and visit me in my dreams.
Ms. Renee shook her head, leaned forward and placed her elbows down on the brown desk that matched the color of the chair she was currently sitting in. She didn’t say a word, instead, she observed me before she let out a deep sigh.
“Well, I guess you didn’t care to listen to the part where I said you’ll be going to stay with your grandma.” She smirked.
Her words caused me to look up in excitement. My heart raced at the good news because I was beyond ready to leave this damn place. There was no privacy and you were forced to share a room with three other girls. The bed I slept in was a twin-size bed and it felt like I was sleeping on concrete. The food was basic and there was no freedom.
“Ahh, I see now I have your attention.” She smiled as she picked up the papers, adjusted her glasses on her nose with her pointer finger and began to read off of the white piece of paper.
“It looks like you will be leaving in the morning. The social worker has already gone and checked out the place, so all you need to go do is pack your things.” Ms. Renee stood up and maneuvered from around the desk and stood by the door. She ran her hands down the long church skirt as she watched the tears fall. I was filled with joy and excitement. I had feared that I would have been stuck in this damn group home.
I heard that once you turned eighteen and were out of school, you had to get out there and make some shit shake. That thought alone frightened me because I didn’t feel like I was ready.
I stood to my feet, walked over to Ms. Renee and for the first time, I gave her a tight hug. I cried as she rubbed my back and let me know that she was happy for me. She let me know that things were going to get better from this day forward and I prayed that was true.
“Now go get cleaned up before it’s time for dinner.” She stepped back away from me, grabbed a Kleenex off of her desk and began to wipe away the tears I had cried.
Nodding my head, I left out of her office, walked down the hallway and entered into R3. R3 was the room number that I stayed in, along with Emma, Stacey, and Robin.
I didn’t too much care for Robin or Stacey, but Emma was cool. In such a short period, we had leaned on each other for strength. We had both lost our mothers to murder. The only difference was that her mother was taken away from her when she was just a little girl by a drug dealer she owed money to.
My mother, on the other hand, we still had yet to find out. Of course, the police thought this and that but after questioning Ted, they let him go. Deep down, I felt like he was the one responsible for my mother’s death, but the case was still open and Ted was no longer a suspect. They didn’t have enough evidence pointing to him and they couldn’t keep him locked up. So he’s free but I hadn’t seen him since my mother’s funeral.
Once I entered into the room, I sat down on the twin-size bed and buried my head in my hands as I took a deep breath. As a nervous feeling crept over me, I couldn’t believe that I was finally about to meet a family I knew nothing about.
Sighing, I laid back on the bed and closed my eyes as the memory of that horrible day took over my mind.
“Oh my God!” I screamed so loudly that windows rattled.
Dropping my phone and the bottle of water I had, I ran over to my mother. She was lying on the floor as blood drained from her head. Her poor face was pale and her body was lifeless.
“Mommy. Mommy. No.” I cried hard as fuck as I dropped down to my knees and pulled her body into my arms.
“Lord no. It’s too soon. I need her. Please don’t take her. Please.” I rocked as I screamed and cried. I needed God himself to come down here and give me my mother back.
My body felt numb and my heart felt like it was no longer beating. The air in the room seemed to have been getting sucked out of it, and it felt like I couldn’t breathe.
Closing my eyes together tightly, I held her so tightly until I finally got up. I ran over to my phone and quickly dialed 911. Even though I already knew my mother’s fate, there was still this tiny piece of me holding on with hopes that this was just a dream. A nightmare that I could wake up from.
The closer the sirens got to my house, the more my head spun. The more the tears came and the weaker I felt. The fact that I was looking at my mother’s lifeless body on the floor was making me feel like the world had come to an end. There was no way I was going to make it through the next day without her.
Moments later, the police and paramedics came racing through my house and racing up the stairs.
Approaching my mother, they scooted me out of the way and after checking for a pulse, they looked at me with hooded eyes and gave me the worst news of my life.
“I’m sorry, but she is gone,” the officer said, and I fell to my knees. I began to scream so loudly that my stomach tightened.
“Kaizlyn, are you ok?” I heard Emma’s voice ask which caused me to look up at her.
“Yes and no.” My voice cracked as I quickly wiped the tears away.
I hated the fact that that was the last memory I had of my mother. Ted and her arguing. Him hitting her. Finding her dead. All that was just too much and it had been so hard to go on ever since.
Also, knowing that I was about to have to tell Emma I was leaving tore at my heart.
“You sure boo?” she questioned.
“I’m…” I paused. This was an emotional time for me because she and I had gotten close. She was the calm to the crazy storm that I was going through. She had listened to me vent and cry damn near every night about how I missed my mother and how I wished God hadn’t taken her from me. Not once did she ever tell me she was tired of hearing it. Even when she had her own stormy cloud hovering over her head.
“I’m leaving Emma,” I struggled to get out as I closed my eyes tightly and the tears continued to fall.
“Aww, it’s ok friend. I’m happy for you.” She rushed to my side and pulled me in for a hug.
“I just… I just…” I tried to explain but my emotional ass couldn’t spit it out because I was crying so damn hard.
“Kaizlyn, it is ok. I promise. Just don’t forget about a bitch,” she joked. “Make sure when you get there you call here first thing so we can talk about it,” she let me know and I nodded, wiped my snotty nose then laughed.
“Ok. Well let me get up and start packing my stuff.” I sighed.
“I’ll help,” she offered. We both got up off of my bed and began to empty my assigned dresser and placed my things in the three suitcases that I had.
We spent the rest of the evening getting all my stuff together and talking about the memories we had built there in just a short period.
Yawning, I stretched my limbs as the morning sun peeked through the one window that we had in the room. I looked around the room, happy that today would be my last day here.
I sat up, placed my feet on the floor, then looked over at the clock that was centered on the wall. It was eight o’clock in the morning which meant that my grandma would be arriving in the next hour or so.
Today I was actually excited to wake up and get my day started. Any other time, all I wanted to do was sleep. But today was different and was the start to new beginnings.
Even though things weren’t how I wanted them to be, I was grateful that I was now about to leave this place. To be honest, even though I complained about this place, I knew it was better than them leaving me to stay with Ted. I wanted them to lock his creepy, perverted ass up, but they didn’t. I was thankful that he wasn’t on any of my legal documents and that I wasn’t able to stay with him. I knew if I was still staying in the house with him, that my life would be worse. There would be no telling what moves he would have continued to try to make on me.
The crazy part about all of this was that Ted was walking freely. I knew in my heart that he had done this. There was no second guessing it. What made matters worse was that he didn’t even cry when we buried my mother. He didn’t even try to notify her family or find them. He tossed her away like she didn’t mean anything to him.
Sighing, I took in a deep breath then got up, grabbed my toiletry bag and then went into the bathroom, washed my face and brushed my teeth. I had taken a shower last night so all I had to do was get dressed.
Knock! Knock!
Hearing knocking on the door, I looked up from tying my shoes and there in the entrance of the doorway was Ms. Renee with the biggest smile on her face. I matched the energy she gave me because I knew she was about to tell me that my grandma was ready for me.
“Hey Kaizlyn, you ready to meet your grandma?” she asked.
