The Way to Never (The Never Trilogy Book 2), page 17
*
The next morning, I woke up to an empty space beside me and the uncanny feeling that I had imagined the previous night. But when I turned towards my bedside table and found my folder placed upon my laptop, I knew that I hadn’t.
I didn’t know how I wanted to feel about it so with a sigh, I turned towards the still opened drapes and met the sunrise. I realized then that even though I’d read about it, and probably even written about it, I had never watched the sun rise before.
It was beautiful, and it also felt like a message from God, appearing every day just to remind us that despite the mess we’d managed to create out of his world, he was still in control. And that no matter how dark things might seem at one point, at the next, the sun could rise and chase the darkness away.
Things seemed very dark for me right now, but at least there was hope that it would get better, maybe even today. I chose to cling to that hope.
The door opened and I turned to see who had come in. I was a little surprised to see that it was Nathan because I’d assumed that he’d left, however, I should have known better especially after last night. Of course he wasn’t going to leave me here by myself.
“How do you feel?” he asked, when he’d taken his seat on the chair beside me. I didn’t respond. I just stared at him, because I’d never seen him this way before. There was a light dusting of stubble across his jaw and although his hair looked as if he’d run his fingers through it a couple of times to arrange it, it still looked somewhat messy.
Plus he didn’t have a shirt on, and although I couldn’t appreciate the sight as much as I would have wanted to since my entire body was throbbing with pain, it all felt too intimate to me, which was quite silly considering what had happened last night. But I couldn’t displace the slight twisting of my heart and the feeling of dread brewing at the pit of my stomach.
“Where did you sleep?” I asked.
He glanced at the Longue by the window, and it made me groan.
“Nathan…”
“It was really comfortable.” He said, and I could tell that he didn’t want to drag it on any further so I decided to just let it go. He took my hand in both of his and leaned in towards me. “C’mon, how do you feel?” he repeated, the concern evident in his eyes. “Has the pain lessened?”
I nodded and managed a ghost of a smile. I didn’t want to tell him that I had started to feel a bit feverish because he would worry, and there was no need for that. Hopefully all of this would be over soon.
“Thank God,” he said. “I have breakfast for you by the way.” My smile grew a bit wider. What could he possibly have prepared for me? He didn’t know how to cook.
“What did you make?” I asked.
“I didn’t make it,” he replied. “I found teabags in your cupboard, and a couple of biscuits in the refrigerator. I wanted to make a sandwich but I feel it’ll be a bit too early for you. What do you think?”
“The biscuits and tea are good.”
“Okay,” he said and rose to his feet. “I’ll be right back.”
I watched him go, wishing I could get up to see what he was up to. But I couldn’t, so I just settled for watching his back. It was a strong back, but I could see some scars on it. It was probably from his time in Iraq.
The first time I’d seen him on TV a few years back, I’d Googled him to find out more about him, and had been bothered when I’d read of his time in Iraq. There wasn’t as much personal information as I would have liked but the accounts given of the reports he’d carried then had been more than enough to send chills down my spine.
Since he was here now, I decided that I would ask him about it. Maybe he wouldn’t mind sharing it with me. A few seconds later, he came in with a small tray on which sat a cup of tea and a saucer of biscuits. He moved the lamp on the bedside table to the side before placing the tray on it.
“It just occurred to me,” he said, “do you want cereal instead? I could mix it for you like the way you showed me for the documentary.”
I shook my head and said with a smile, “No, thank you.”
He nodded and then rubbed his hands together. “So, I took a wild guess and doused your tea with milk but no sugar. If you prefer it plain though I have that ready in the pot.”
“Just milk is good,” I said, and was almost amused at how much it pleased him.
“I’m killing this caretaker thing,” he boasted, and it made my heart flutter. I was grateful for his presence. This morning, and unlike the previous two, I wasn’t alone and I wasn’t crying my eyes out.
He turned towards the tray and broke a piece from one of the biscuits. I thought he wanted to eat it but was surprised when he started bringing it towards my mouth. I tried to turn away but I wasn’t quick enough. It reached my lips and when I opened them to complain, he popped it in.
“What are you doing?” I asked as I tried to chew. “I can feed myself.”
“I know,” he replied, and turned back to break off another piece. “But in this case you don’t have to. Open up.”
This time I shook my head and pursed my lips. He frowned for a bit and then just shrugged. He put the piece in his mouth instead and turned to pick up the cup. He took a sip and then closed his eyes to savor the taste.
I couldn’t not notice his body then. Maybe it was because he’d picked up the small cup but suddenly my eyes left his face, and started to roam down his chest. There was definitely a significant change from the one I’d ogled thirteen years earlier.
“You know my nipples will turn hard if you stare at my chest like that,” he said quietly as he placed the cup back on the tray. “Eyes on my face miss.”
A laugh escaped me as my eyes immediately lifted up to his. Before I could bring them back down to inspect the state of said nipples, his free arm shut across to shield them from my view. For my own sake I tried to control my amusement – the hurt in my back was growing again from all the laughter – but it was nice seeing this side of him again. From afar he seemed so high and mighty, but up close he was just a regular guy who didn’t know what the word limit meant for those he cared about.
“How do you want to take the tea?” he asked. “It’s warm now so do you want to sit up, or would you rather I use a spoon? I brought a soup spoon.”
I sighed, exhausted from having to skirt around the pain. “I can probably take it lying down. It hurts too much to sit up.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll use the spoon,” he said, and he picked it up.
“Noooo …” I complained but he ignored me. He scooped some creamy liquid out and with his hand under it to protect my body from any spills, brought it over to my lips. I accepted it. He repeated this a few times until I got tired and told him to stop. The circumstances that warranted the gesture saddened me and he saw that, but whenever his eyes met mine, he gave me a reassuring smile.
“I want to get a wheelchair,” I told him.
He shook his head. “No.”
“Why not?” I asked. He brought a piece of biscuit to my lips but when I refused it, he put it in his mouth.
“Because you’ll get too comfortable in it.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, my voice a crux between laughter and anger. “Do I look like I can in any way be comfortable in this state?”
“Nora, you’ll get better soon.”
“I want to be able to take care of myself before then.”
“You don’t have to and the wheelchair would just be a burden. I’ll take care of you, so please, it’s not a good idea.”
I didn’t want to say out loud that I agreed with him, so I just removed my gaze away from his and stared straight ahead.
“Do you still want a biscuit?”
I shook my head.
The doorbell rang then so he rose to his feet. “I’ll be right back.”
“It’s probably my nurse, or if it’s a short woman with dark hair, her name is Jackie. She helps me clean around here a few times a week.”
“Okay, should I let her in?”
“Yes, please, but not in here though.”
“Of course,” he said, and he walked away.
« CHAPTER 11 »
Nathan
I opened the door to Wendy and Elisa. Their eyes immediately widened as they took me in but then they recovered and came into the apartment.
“How is she?” Elisa asked.
“She’s okay.”
“And how long have you been here?”
I didn’t respond. I just gave a polite smile but that was more than enough for Wendy’s eyes to almost fall out of their sockets, while Elisa’s narrowed.
“I wasn’t sure you’d understand my advice,” Elisa said. “Glad to know you did.”
“What advice?” Wendy asked.
“He’s fighting for her … but you’re cheating though,” she said to me.
I just smiled. I was comfortable with Elisa, but Wendy, I didn’t really know yet so I couldn’t delve into her theory as much as I would have liked.
“How is he cheating?” Wendy asked.
“He understands her more than Damian does.”
They headed towards the kitchen as they spoke and even though I’d have liked to hear their opinions, I left them alone and headed over to the laundry to get my clothes.
There might have been an element of truth to what Elisa had said but it wasn’t intentional. I wasn’t here to fight for her, I was here because I needed to make sure that she was all right, and if that somehow caused her heart to veer towards me then I wasn’t going to complain about it. So far I wasn’t impressed with Damian’s level of “concern”, because I shouldn’t have had the opportunity to spend the whole night with her. He should have been here, never left her side and seen to it that she was okay. It was Carlie who was here when I’d first arrived, and she’d told me to stay for a bit so that she could quickly go home to take care of some things.
“Damian will be coming by later,” she’d said, but it was the morning after and there was still no sign of him. It annoyed me to think that if I hadn’t been here, Lenora might have spent the entire night alone.
I returned to her bedroom to find the three women already together. I decided to give Lenora some space for a while, so I went into her dressing room to change and then came back out to say my goodbyes.
Lenora
I didn’t want him to leave, and I didn’t like that I didn’t want him to leave because that was setting myself up for trouble. The moment he walked through the door, I couldn’t help but take my mind back to boarding school. He’d always cared hadn’t he? But that didn’t stop him from leaving the first time. What was going to keep him here now?
“What did you guys do last night?” Elisa asked.
“What does it look like they did?” Wendy said. “She can barely move.”
“Oh, no,” Elisa said shaking her head, her eyebrows raised. “These two are not normal, don’t underestimate them. When everyone else was being a normal teenager at school they found a forest that had been locked up for over a century and started hanging out there. I’m scared of them together.”
“We didn’t do anything,” I said so that they could end the topic. I didn’t want any more weight given to the situation.
“Really? Then why was he wearing your pants?”
“He was?” Wendy half-yelled. “How come I didn’t notice?”
Elisa used her hands to indicate her chest area. “The chest thing.”
Wendy sucked in her breath through her teeth and gripped Elisa’s arm as if she would fall off the chair if she didn’t. “Oh damn!” she agreed in a breathless voice, her eyes rolling back into her head. She then prolonged the second damn with a vibration from the back of her throat. “Oh daaaaamn-ah!”
Elisa started laughing. I rolled my eyes at them.
“I can’t believe you got to stare at that throughout the night.”
“I was sleeping.’
“Of course you were. Wait, where did he sleep?”
I needed this subject to change. “I’m hungry you guys,” I said, and Elisa started to get up but Wendy pulled her back down.
“Nnn nnh, you’re not avoiding this conversation. Lenora where did he sleep?”
“In the guestroom?” I replied off the top of my head, and then I remembered that I sucked at lying.
She narrowed her eyes at me in suspicion. Elisa did the same but hers was in thought. “Wait a minute,” Elisa said. “You don’t have a guestroom. You turned it into your den.”
Wendy gasped with amusement while Elisa laughed.
“Guys,” I complained, and Elisa lifted her hands in the air.
“Fine, okay. Wendy let’s go get her something to eat.”
“It’s not fine,” Wendy disagreed. “Forget about the jokes for a moment, but how did that end up happening? Was there something wrong during the night?”
“He helped me when I needed to use the bathroom.”
They were silent for a few moments.
“What? I mean … I’m so sorry,” Elisa said quietly. “Why didn’t you call one of us?”
“Lenora, you need to call when you need help,” Wendy said. “And why wasn’t Carlie here? We thought she was going to stay with you.”
“You guys, it’s fine, there’s no point bringing it up. I’m really hungry though.”
“Didn’t you just eat?” Elisa asked, eyeing the tray that still sat on my bedside table.
“I just took a few bites but I think Carlie has leftover soup from last night.”
“Okay,” she said and she got up.
“Well, I’m not going anywhere,” Wendy said, and climbed onto the bed so that she could lie beside me. “She just wants us to leave, she’s not that hungry.”
“Maybe, but she’ll be getting her medicine soon anyway so it’s better she have something substantial in her stomach.”
“I want soup too,” Wendy announced. “But if she added garlic to it I don’t want it. A sandwich will also do though, if you don’t mind.”
Elisa gave her a dry look as she turned around to leave. “I do mind.”
“Thank you, Elisa,” I said.
“Thank you, Elisa,” Wendy said sheepishly. Then she grabbed the remote from my side before I could reach it.
“Wendy, no!” I pleaded, but she ignored me and switched it to The Real Housewives of Atlanta.
“Yasssss,” she gloated, and hid the remote by her side. I bided my time and reached out a few minutes later to take back the remote. She had fallen asleep.
Damian
The moment I’d woken up in the studio and remembered that I was supposed to have returned to Lenora’s yesterday, a wave of guilt washed over me. I called Carlie immediately to make sure that she hadn’t been left alone but I couldn’t reach her. So I rushed over to Lenora’s.
I felt relieved when I saw that she was okay and with her friends, so I decided to leave and briefly stop by to see Elizabeth. It bothered me that her and Lenora didn’t get along as well as I’d hoped, so I wanted to invite her over to see her. Maybe Lenora’s illness would humanize Elizabeth a bit so that she could stop viewing her as a threat, and instead extend a bit of care towards her.
Elizabeth lived in a white two-story brick house in Queensbury, upstate New York. She lived alone but spent practically all her time with her ‘socialite friends’, and that was the exact scene I met when I walked into her tea-room about half an hour later.
She was delighted as always to see me, and immediately rose to introduce me to her friends. Most of them I was certain I’d already met at one point in time or another, but nevertheless everyone listened patiently as she went through the motions, and gushed about one of my paintings which hung on the wall above the motif-engraved mantel by the corner.
When she was done and had received her desired oohs and aahs, she followed me out and into the kitchen. Her housekeeper Frances quickly excused herself when she saw us walk in.
“What are you doing here?” she finally asked.
She was in a light pink sweater and white slacks, with a string of pearls around her neck. Her shoulder length hair was down but there was an exhaustion in her eyes that I wasn’t too happy to see.
“I just stopped by to see you,” I told her. “And to discuss something about Lenora with you.”
Her automatic reaction was to roll her eyes but I chose to ignore it, and went straight to the point. “She’s not been feeling very well lately.”
“What’s wrong with her?”
“She has some sort of pain in her lower back. She’s been going through quite a lot these last few days. I’d love it if you would come along with me to see her.”
“What contribution will my presence make?” she asked, as she went around to the other side of the counter to pull out a fork from one of the drawers. “She doesn’t need me there.”
“Elizabeth, we’re going to be getting married and I’d like it if you didn’t make me choose sides.”
She dug the fork into the pan of apple pie that was next to her, and then brought it towards her to nibble on. “But I want you to have to choose sides,” she said half-jokingly. “And I don’t want it to be hers.”
“What is really your issue with her? I can’t understand your animosity any longer.”
She sighed and put the fork down on the counter. “Damian, I’m sorry if I’m making all of this too difficult for you, but she just reminds me of all those idiotic women that made my life miserable after I married your dad just because they had their own wealth and I didn’t. I know you remember the countless times I was shamed during social events.”
I went over to her and softly gripped the side of her arms. “Elizabeth, that was years ago. Am I to suffer for it now?”
“No, but I’m doing this so that you won’t have to suffer for it later. That girl is bad news. She thinks she’s somehow above us because she’s managed to make some sort of life for herself.”
“You mean you think she’s somehow above you. Elizabeth, I love you but you sound petty, just like those women.”
“She hasn’t come to see me once since you both started this relationship – or whatever you call it. Not even once, and I’m your mother.”
