Season of the Dragon, page 29
The towering mountain’s cold shadow brought a chill. Nivi had lain down and was snoring lightly.
“You’re asking me for a plan? I haven’t been making my own plans for weeks now.” She laughed. “Hell, for my whole life, if I’m being honest.”
“Maybe it’s time you began.” Aldewin tossed a pebble at her. “What do you want to do?”
Quen couldn’t recall the last time anyone had asked her that. Most days didn’t offer many choices. Most of her days were rote routines. When the path came to a fork, others had decided for her. First Pahpi, then Druvna, Imbica, the Exalted, or even Aldewin and Rhoji. She stared at the clear blue sky, beautiful and rare after living in the dusty Sulmére with pale yellow and orange skies. She took deep breaths of clean mountain air and considered what she wanted, perhaps for the first time.
Primal desire outweighed reason. A lifetime of longing insinuated itself into the internal conversation, the Nixan soul fanning the flames of her passion.
Quen didn’t know what tomorrow held. The tenuous grip she maintained on her own skin was weakening. Forces she still didn’t fully understand wanted her for a reason she didn’t entirely know. Vahgrin’s fiery breath and his Rajani, Nevara, loomed like a shadow.
I understand little more about Aldewin now than I did weeks ago. Maybe he speaks honeyed lies, but I smell his desire. He can’t fake the odor of longing. I don’t know what will happen tomorrow. But Aldewin is here now. To Vay’Nada with the rest! For now, he’s my answer to everything.
Quen sprang and gracefully pounced off her rock perch and straddled his outstretched legs, their chests only a few finger widths apart, their lips nearly touching. His heart had picked up speed, his pupils now so wide his eyes were almost black. He should have been afraid of her. She was at least a little afraid of herself.
But he didn’t back away or flinch at her forwardness. He smoldered, his lips parted. He pressed himself forward, open to her touch.
His lips were soft, warm, and yielding beneath hers. Nothing else touching, only the moist flesh of his kiss. Her neck ridge pulsing, the second heartbeat pounding. The heat rising from Aldewin was like the warm sands of her homeland.
Aldewin’s hand tangled in her hair, pulling gently but insisting. This kiss was firmer, the need known. He gracefully cradled and tumbled her, his thighs on hers, the full weight of his body pressed into her.
Aldewin stared into her eyes, his desire no longer in question. His thumb traced her bottom lip, and he looked like he did weeks ago when he’d whispered sweet words then retreated.
Will he pull away from me again? She feared what the raging Nixan in her would do if he spurned her affections again. “Do you remember what you promised me that night in Juinar?”
A roguish smile curled his lips, and he kissed her again, darting his tongue into her mouth. His hand swept down her body and found her taut nipples. He rubbed lightly, kissing her so deeply she thought their faces would meld. His voice was low and hoarse. “I have every intention of keeping my promises to you.”
As he bent again to kiss her, Quen flipped him off and onto his back. She straddled him again and started working on his tunic's laces. “I will hold you to that.”
“I expect you will.”
One hand on his manhood, the other playfully tangled in his hair. She leaned down, their faces nearly touching. “You understand, this isn’t a game.” She squeezed his manhood gently. “Once you tend my garden, you have no right to walk away from me. That’s not how it’s done in the Sulmére.”
His eyes were soft as he gently pulled her head down to meet his lips. “With Lumine as my witness and Doj’Madi to bind me, I promise you, Quen Tomo Santu di Sulmére, you have my affection so long as you choose.” He sealed his oath with a gentle kiss.
She pulled her tunic off over her head, her breasts taut and her nipples hard in the chill air. “I accept your oath.” Quen pressed her naked breasts to his chest and kissed him deeply. I only hope I have not doomed you for loving me.
Chapter 21
Dancing
Dancing embers rose from the fire as they lay intertwined, Aldewin’s arm encircling her, Quen’s head resting on his bare chest. Love games with the merchant boy and timid covert kisses in her youth hadn’t prepared her for the unbounded pleasure Aldewin had shown her. What he’d done with his lips and tongue… She had to shake herself free of thinking about it, or she’d pin him with her thighs, and they would get no farther than the riverside meadow.
His fingers absentmindedly twirled her hair. “I could stay like this forever.” He chuckled. “They’ll find two skeletons covered with moss and wildflowers.” His voice lilted, carrying joy that hadn’t been there before. Like he speaks with a song in his heart.
Quen’s laughter echoed off the basalt.
Aldewin’s fingers stopped twirling. “Are you mocking me?”
She pushed up and rested her head on a bent arm. “Of course not. I was thinking the same thing.” Her fingers traced a figure eight around his chest, his muscles tightening beneath her touch.
Grief for losing Pahpi and her home, her imprisonment, and the unending battle to keep control of her very skin had left her exhausted.
Aldewin’s warm encircling arms brought peace and comfort Quen had never known. Is it terrible to want to stay here forever? As if in answer to her question, her neck ridge warmed and subtly pulsed, reminding her she was Nixan, not human. Nixan don’t get to live in the arms of love’s embrace. Aldewin’s face was bleary through her unwept tears.
“What’s this now, sol’dishi?” Aldewin wiped the water from her cheek.
Quen sighed. His use of the Sulmére term of endearment moved her. She kissed him. This time, their pent-up passions spent, the languid kiss nourished her soul in a way the ignited Vatra kisses had not.
“In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m not like other girls.” Quen placed his hand on her neck ridge.
Instead of recoiling, Aldewin bent her to him again and kissed her. “I see you, Quen Tomo Santu di Sulmére. And I’m falling in love with you.”
“But you don’t—I don’t even know what beast form I’ll take. For all we know, I could become a giant snake.”
He kissed her again. “Then I will love a snake.”
“Or an eight-legged hairy beast that spins one of those webs you’re so fond of.” The idea made her stomach churn.
Aldewin laughed and kissed her again. “I’m already caught in webs. They might as well be yours.”
Though slightly reassuring, she doubted anyone could love what she would become if she allowed the Nixan inside to come forth. “Do you think—well, the Ascended Masters and Zeniths at Val’Enara—is their magic and wisdom…”
“Enough to pry the Nixan soul from you?” Aldewin shrugged. “I’ve seen strange and even indescribable things at Val’Enara.” He rubbed his chin. “If anyone in Indrasi knows how to help you, I am certain it is Archon Kine.”
“Then I must do this,” Quen said.
Aldewin said, “Wait. Remember what I said when I promised honesty? I’m no seer, Quen. I can’t pry into people’s hearts and know their intentions. The Archon is a mystery. I cannot ensure that her goal aligns with yours.”
“That may be true, but answer me this. Is she kind?”
He thought about it for a bit. “I have known only kindness from her.” He considered his words. “Except…” His brows furrowed, the dreamy gaze in his eyes gone. His mind had taken him somewhere else. Someplace dark from the look about him.
“What troubles your heart, sol’dishi?”
He sought her eyes then a kiss. “If you’re asking me what you should do, I cannot both love you and be master of your fate.”
She laughed. “So you don’t want to act like my First Kin. Is that Northerner wisdom?”
“No, it’s Aldewin wisdom.” The twinkle was back in his eye. “I’ve told you what I know. It is up to you. Do you still desire to become a Supplicant? If so, I’ll tell you all I know about seeking the favor of the guardian spirit, Hooxaura, so she’ll open the Path of a Thousand Waters.”
“And if I decide I no longer want to submit myself to testing at the chasm?”
He leaned into her, pinning her with his thighs. “Then we head north and find passage to my homeland. We can disappear there.” He kissed her deeply.
Quen undulated her hips, and he rose beneath her. The Nixan within disturbed her peace, insisting she head south to Volenex. She didn’t know how much longer she’d own the skin she wore. Quen pressed into him, enjoying the feel of his weight. She had finally found someone to love and who loved her back. It’s all I ever wanted. Quen didn’t want the feeling to end.
If my shadow soul is urging me to embrace Vatra’s fires, I should instead seek Lumine’s blessings at Val’Enara. She playfully bit Aldewin’s lip. “Tomorrow, I will submit as a Supplicant at the Chasm.” She arched into him. “But tonight, I submit only to you.”
• • •
They rose at Hiyadi’s first light. The air was thick with frosty fog. Stiff from sleeping on the ground and her lungs burning from the cold air, Quen longed for hot Sulmére air and a bed.
Nivi had hunted overnight and was ready to ride. With great, wide paws and thick fur, Nivi had no trouble bearing their weight as he climbed ever upward in frigid, mountainous terrain.
They arrived at Nil mid-morning. Compared to the rift they’d crossed at the mighty Mitosh river, the word ‘chasm’ was not apt for this wide spot in a small river. It’s neither wide nor deep. Nivi can clear it, even with Aldewin and me on his back.
She rubbed Nivi’s furry sides as they inspected the small gorge. “We could leap across with Nivi’s help. Why do we need to seek the favor of this river’s guardian?”
“Look up.” Aldewin pointed to the rocky cliff above them. “You could cross the river, but how would you reach the Path of a Thousand Waters?”
Her hands shielding her eyes from the morning glare, she squinted where Aldewin pointed. In ancient times, they’d carved steps into the dark grey mountainside. Three stories up, the first step loomed. Even I can’t jump that high. “Is this the only way to reach Val’Enara?”
Aldewin nodded. “I should add that if you attempt a hop across the river without first seeking the favor of Hooxaura, she’ll destroy you.”
Quen’s breakfast sat heavy in her gut. She’d hoped she and Nivi could jump the chasm as a backup plan if Hooxaura didn’t favor her. “How do I get Hooxaura to let me pass?”
“Well, she doesn’t permit passage so much as reveal the path. There aren’t scrolls on this. Each Supplicant has a unique experience.”
Quen rolled her eyes and groaned. “So, you’re telling me there’s no help for me here?”
“Let me finish. Kensai compared stories, and Hooxaura doesn’t test your Menaris ability. Prelate Hrabke does that. Hooxaura senses a Supplicant’s true heart and guards Val’Enara against anyone who’d sow chaos or discord at the Pillar.”
If Aldewin was trying to allay her fears, he was failing. “Great. I should pack it in now.” Quen leaped onto Nivi’s back.
“What are you doing? You said you wanted to—”
She glared down at him. “I have two hearts, remember? And Vatra rules one of them. Talk about chaos and discord. Hooxaura will never let a Nixan enter Val’Enara.”
His face softened. “I believe in you, Quen. And it’s about time you began believing in yourself.” He kissed her hand, his stubble tickling her skin. “You’re here for guidance from Val’Enara’s Masters. You want to learn to control your shadow soul. To protect your loved ones, not destroy or sow disharmony. I know this about you, and Hooxaura will sense this in you.”
And so that I become powerful in manipulating Menaris to bring down Vahgrin. Quen pondered whether Hooxaura would consider this a positive or negative concerning the Val’Enara pillar.
“Come down. You’ll see, it’s easy. You need to kneel at the edge and call upon Hooxaura. Tell her you’re a Supplicant and wish to walk the Path of a Thousand Waters.”
Quen picked a bramble from Nivi’s mane. “And you’ve done this before?”
Aldewin chuckled. “More than once. And look.” He wiggled his fingers. “I’ve still got all my fingers and toes.”
Within her, the Nixan soul neither “spoke” nor trilled its shadow heart. She didn’t know if it slept or by what mechanism it could bring itself to the fore of her thoughts. But she knew a tranquility that had been beyond reach for months. There will never be a better time. She dismounted and walked to the edge.
The water below was more a babbling brook than a raging river. The edge was a sandy path, clearly traversed with some regularity. She knelt, her knees nearly over the edge. “What do I say?”
“I usually introduce myself, something like your name, and that you submit as Supplicant.” He waved his hand in a rolling motion. “You know, as we talked about. Then ask Hooxaura to reveal the Path of a Thousand Waters.”
She’d hoped for more of a script. Though only Aldewin and Nivi were with her, Quen felt a thousand eyes watching. Her neck ridge tingled.
Quen sighed. “Here goes.” Eyes closed, she grasped for the calmness of Still Waters. The crisp air smelled of pine, soil, and wet leaves. “Hooxaura, I am Quen Tomo Santu di Sulmére.” Her voice squeaked. She cleared her throat and breathed, intending to calm herself. But the frigid, damp air burned her lungs and made her feel she couldn’t get enough of Juka’s life-giving breath. Quen tried again. “I submit as Supplicant to you, Hooxaura, and I humbly request you permit passage to the Path of a Thousand Waters so I can….” The ground shook, and the air smelled like it does before sky-fire erupts.
Quen blinked open her eyes. The obscuring mists coalesced to a single point as if sucked in by an unseen force. Quen had expected Hooxaura to rise from turbulent, churning river water. The river, though, remained calm.
The air wavered as a single droplet of water hung, suspended. It spun slowly at first, then it gained speed as it gathered moisture and grew. The spinning flung icy droplets at Quen, and she shivered. What began as a single droplet of water increased to a frozen ball the size of a melon, then a white-blue orb as large as a child. Though it no longer gathered Enara to itself, the globe spun, its thin, icy outer layer revealing a glacial-blue watery interior. Hooxaura hovered in the space between Quen and the far side of the chasm. Cool morning fog returned, thicker than before. The orb glowed as if lit from within, and its light pulsed like a beacon through the mists.
Though it had no mouth, eyes, nose, or other features, the Guardian spoke, its sound reminiscent of windswept sands dancing on dunes. “Supplicant unknown.”
Juka’s breeze stirred in a circle around Quen. The temperature dropped, and she shivered violently, clutching herself to preserve warmth. The air pressed in on her, compressing her chest and pulling air from her, making breathing even more challenging.
As quickly as the unpleasant sensation began, it ceased. Warmth returned. The air was again still. Quen gasped for air.
“You claim to be a child of the sands.” The spirit drew out its S’s. The guardian flickered like a lamp turning on and off inside. “But that is not true, is it? Begin again, Supplicant. Who are you, and why do you call me forth?”
Quen swallowed hard. There was nothing fearful in the spirit’s being. Gazing at it was soothing. But something about Hooxaura made her bowels turn to water. “I told you. I am Quen Tomo Santu of the Sulmére.”
The spirit spun wildly, flinging shards of icicles at Quen. She raised her hands to shield her face. Fortunately, the icicles were tiny and wet, not frozen solid. She was understanding the danger of facing Hooxaura. Sweat matted her hair to her head and made her tunic cling to her back. She shivered so hard she feared she’d fall into the canyon.
“Benevolent Hooxaura provides a third chance to the novice Supplicant.” The orb returned to its peaceful state, emanating a pulsing light, its interior waters swirling. “Who are you? Why do you seek the Path of a Thousand Waters?”
Quen wiped her wet face with a damp sleeve. She wasn’t sure what Hooxaura wanted. She’d stated her name. What else can I be? As soon as she asked herself the question, the answer came. This creature knew Quen’s truth, perhaps better than she knew it herself.
“I am Quen, but I am also Nixan.”
The strange pulsing light within the orb happened again, but no more icy shards were flung her way.
“I seek the Path of a Thousand Waters because….” Careful, Quen. What truth to reveal? Quen closed her eyes again, and hot tears welled, but she didn’t know why. She wanted to open Vahgrin’s throat, spill his blood, and send him and his rider back to the shadow of Vay’Nada, where they belonged. It was a desire so intense she could taste it.
But Quen would give up that quest, and every desire she had, if she could ensure she’d never endanger her loved ones again. Suppose I allow my shadow soul to Promena. Then what will happen to Rhoji, Aldewin, Nivi, my Jagaru pod, Liodhan, Zarate, and wee Lumina? Hot tears stung her chilled cheeks.
“Pahpi taught me of Still Waters. He was Kensai and trained at Val’Enara Pillar.” She wiped away a tear. “He believed Val’Enara’s wisdom would help me tame the shadow soul I carry. And Still Waters has kept me… human.” Her voice trembled. “I want people I love to be free from harm. I won’t be responsible for more death.” Her chest heaved. “If you indeed discern a Supplicant’s true heart, then you know I speak with sincerity. Val’Enara is my only hope.”
The orb had spun within itself, calm, and without lighting up as she spoke. It hung in the air, still and silent.
Rocks gnashed together in a deafening groan. It sounded like Menauld split into two. Ice splintered and tinkled on the ground as the orb swelled, then shattered, sending icy spray in every direction. The mists cleared, revealing stairs of ice leading to the rocky steps above. The Path of a Thousand Waters was open to her.
Quen stood on wobbly legs, wiping her face with her sleeves. Aldewin clapped and cheered behind her, and Nivi roared.
