Season of the Dragon, page 28
“Perhaps I would be welcome. Archon Kine may see me as valuable now I’ve worked for the Dynasty.”
“I imagine that’s true,” Aldewin said. “If you come with us, you may find a home again at Val’Enara.”
Imbica shook her head. “I no longer want to live in a Pillar. And Aldewin, do not forget the Chasm of Nil. I doubt the Guardian will permit me passage.” Her face was dour. “Not now. After what I’ve done—had to do—for the Kovan Dynasty.”
“Why not?” Quen had more than a passing curiosity about the subject since she had to cross the chasm to walk the Steps of a Thousand Waters and enter Val’Enara.
Imbica stared at her. “I will allow Aldewin to explain it to you as he has crossed the Chasm of Nil more recently than I. You will have time to talk on your journey to the Chasm.”
Aldewin and Nivi were capable company for a journey to the Moon Gate. I took a risk rescuing her. She saved our arses from the Kovathas. But is she getting out of our agreement too easily? “So, what will you do if I release you from your bond?”
Imbica’s eyes grew wide. “I said nothing about release from my promise. I remain your sworn shield. The vow extends to your First Kin. If this arrangement meets your approval, I will be Rhoji’s shield until we meet again.”
All turned their attention to Rhoji. The memory of Vahgrin’s shadow over the land made Quen shudder. With Imbica watching the skies over Rhoji, Quen was more at ease about their parting.
Quen nodded her affirmation, and Imbica gave her a single nod back.
Quen took them in, creating a memory of her strange Jagaru pod. Nearly all the family I have. Even Mishny. She probably wants me dead, but I care about her, even if she doesn’t care for me. Though Shel and Eira’s decision to side with Mishny stung, Quen understood their reluctance to remain in her company after what they’d witnessed in Qülla. They must protect each other—from me. Hot tears welled. “Shield them, Imbica. Protect them all.”
From dragons, and from whatever I become.
Chapter 20
Rainy
Rainy mist woke Quen from a fitful slumber. She was glad to end the game of trying to sleep. Every time she dozed off, she dreamed of Druvna’s vacant eyes. Finally, Hiyadi rose and painted the horizon pale salmon. She tried to pack quietly, but Aldewin had the ears of a hunting dog.
Before the day was done, she’d get answers from Aldewin. But they had many hours ahead for talk. They packed in silence, Aldewin yawning as much as Quen.
Before long, Mishny roused her pod. “Indolence begets the lash of sorrows, and don’t think I won’t lash you.” She was quoting renowned Vaya di Vatra master Vas O’Nai. When the scripture-backed threat of the lash didn’t rouse them, she kicked their feet. “Get your arses up, you lazy squib.”
Rhoji, Shell, and Eira grumbled as they rose. Imbica didn’t curse Mishny, but yawned behind her hand.
With little to pack, Aldewin and Quen were ready before the others finished taking their morning relief. Aldewin clasped forearms with Rhoji. “May you know the Sister’s embrace, my friend.”
“And the Brothers light your way.” Rhoji pulled Aldewin to him and whispered something in his ear.
Quen didn’t know what they said, but Aldewin nodded. She imagined her older brother was admonishing Aldewin to watch over her. Or maybe threatening violence if he becomes too familiar.
There were teary goodbyes with Eira and Shel. “We will see each other again.” Quen hoped it was true. As she embraced Shel, she whispered, “Watch over Rhoji for me.”
Imbica gave the friends time to say their goodbyes, then came to Quen. “Hold out your hand.”
Quen hesitated. Though her hand no longer showed the purple bruises of Imbica’s torture, its memory lingered. Imbica pulled the amber pendant from under her tunic and untied the cord. Quen had forgotten Imbica had taken it.
“I believe this is yours.” Imbica put the necklace in Quen’s open palm.
In the first grey light of morning, the amber was a nondescript brown blob hanging from a fire-singed cord. Unremarkable in every way, it had no value to anyone but Quen and Rhoji.
“Allow me.” Rhoji took the necklace and tied the cord around Quen’s neck. The pendant fell to her collarbone.
Quen closed her eyes and took a deep breath of sweet alpine air. At first cold even through her tunic, the amber soon warmed, its weight comforting against her chest.
“You will learn much about Menaris and its secrets at Val’Enara,” Imbica said. “But the most potent magic I ever learned was at the knee of my village Bruxia. You know the most important lesson she taught me?”
Quen’s heart quickened. She was eager to learn about Vaya di Menaris. She nodded vigorously.
“Love,” Imbica said.
Love? “Um, okay.”
The crow’s feet at the corners of Imbica’s eyes crinkled. She gently tucked the pendant into Quen’s tunic and patted it. “It’s a lesson I have ignored for many years.” Her eyes glistened, but she exhaled, and the tears never fell. “A time may come when this amulet will mean the difference between life and death. Use its magic wisely.”
Like always, when Imbica tried to impart magical wisdom, Quen didn’t understand what the woman meant.
“Until we meet again,” Imbica said. She gave Quen a quick bow and left to help Mishny clean the camp.
Rhoji swept her into a hug. “Be well, sister.” He kissed her forehead. His eyes were wet and rimmed in red.
“Watch over Shel and Eira,” Quen whispered. “I promise to keep Pahpi’s lessons in my heart.”
Rhoji smiled and gave her a nod, then went to the others, leaving Quen alone with Aldewin and Nivi. “May you always know the Sister’s loving embrace,” she called to him.
Instead of the usual rote response, Rhoji called, “I know I will.”
• • •
With only one mount animal to ride, Quen and Aldewin had no option but to journey to Val’Enara with Aldewin pressed against Quen’s backside. She had planned to confront Aldewin about how he’d lied to her—or withheld information, anyway—from the start. But her mind was a swirling eddy. Aldewin was so close. His warm breath tickled the back of her neck, his firm thighs pressed against hers. Nivi’s spine undulated beneath them, the sway forward and back causing Aldewin’s loins to press her backside in a seductive rhythm.
Instead of interrogating him, she imagined his warm lips on hers as his firm hands caressed her. She’d never daydreamed about being with someone this way, even the awkward traveling merchant’s son with whom she’d spent a few fumbling hours last summer. Her thoughts of Aldewin made her loins painfully tight and her breasts taut, her nipples aroused by the slightest rustle of her tunic.
When Aldewin spoke, it startled her out of her daydream. “You must have many questions for me.” His voice was soft and deep.
Can a Val’Enara initiate consort with someone of higher rank? She was glad Aldewin couldn’t see the blush bloom from her neck to her hairline. Quen cleared her throat. Remember, you’re still irritated with him. “Yes, Aldewin di Partha. What do you know about me?” She shook her head. “No, first, what do you know about Doj’Anira?” He’d begun speaking, but she cut him off. “Wait. Why did you lie to the Exalted about me?”
Aldewin sighed. “A good question. Answering requires a lengthy story.”
She waved her hand in a sweeping motion. “We’ve got nothing else to do but tell stories.”
“But I’m not permitted to tell parts of this one.”
Quen groaned and gently pulled Nivi’s mane. She leaped from the tiger’s back with the speed and agility she usually held back for fear of startling people. The time for games is over. “Cut the shite, Aldewin. We’re not going one step farther until you answer my questions.”
He shook his head and groaned, his fingertips to his forehead. “Dammit, Quen, I took an oath.”
“The Jagaru don’t require oaths. At least Rhoji and I didn’t take one.”
He slid off Nivi’s back. “Forget the damned Jagaru. This is about Val’Enara. I took oaths to the Pillar and to Archon Kine. I’m soul-bound to obey the Archon’s commands.”
“How does this pertain to me? Or my questions?” Hot tears of frustration sprang to her eyes. “For fuck’s sake, Aldewin. People have treated me like a sack of jishni flour for weeks. Traded like a common drey.” She shook with anger. “And I thought we’d become friends. But no. We were never friends, were we?”
The anger was gone from his face, replaced by melancholy. “I want to be your friend. My feelings about you—for you—are genuine. My soul is….”
“Is what?”
Anguish twisted his mouth, and hot watery tears rimmed his eyes red. “Torn apart. I am bound by an oath—by honor—but it’s more… complicated. When you take vows at Val’Enara—you’ll learn—it’s more than pride or honor. You commit yourself—even your soul—to do the Pillar’s work.”
Quen stamped the ground. The earth shook, and Nivi growled. “I don’t care about the Pillar! I need to know….” Her lip trembled, and her throat was tight. “What am I becoming?”
It was the only question that mattered.
Aldewin stepped closer, gauging her reaction. He took her hand and smiled, his face pale, his eyes nervous. “The truth? I don’t know.”
She rolled her eyes and tsked.
“You don’t have to believe me, but in the name of Lumine and Doj’Madi, I swear to you, I don’t know the answer to your question.” He sighed. “I’m probably going to spend eternity in the frozen void of Vay’Nada for telling you this….”
Quen moved closer and caught his eye. His look was despairing, but she matched his pain with pleading. Her voice quavered. “Please.”
Aldewin let go of her hand and held his arms splayed to the sides, palms up. “About a half-turn ago, Archon Kine summoned me. You need to understand she doesn’t do that. The Archon is ancient and spends most of her time in meditation. It is rare for the Archon to summon a Rising.”
“Okay. And?”
He put his hands in his pockets. “Kine called on me to perform a task I’m uniquely qualified for, at least among those at Val’Enara.” He’d avoided her eyes, but he looked into them now. “Acting on information she gained from a spy, she asked me to go south to retrieve what she called a Doj’Anira.”
Quen’s stomach felt like it had dropped to her toes. “The Archon of Val’Enara knew about Doj’Anira.”
Aldewin sucked in a breath, his eyes roving upwards then finding hers again. “Archon Kine not only knew about Doj’Anira, but that you are one. She also knew I’d find you in Solia. And that you’re the Doj’Anira the Dynasty searched for.”
The world swirled around her. Quen’s breaths were shallow, her head swimming.
Aldewin put out a hand. “You should sit down.”
She let him help her to a rock. Eventually, the spinning stopped enough that she could form words. “Pahpi’s letter.” What had he told Archon Kine? It was making sense why Pahpi had reassured Quen the Pillar would accept her when she had no Menaris ability.
Aldewin knelt beside her. “I don’t know how she knew. It could have been the letter from your da. However she found out, the Archon tasked me with bringing you to Val’Enara.”
“But why you? And why were you with the Jagaru? I mean, I would have come willingly.”
“Even for someone like me, it is dangerous to travel alone through the Sulmére. Archon Kine knew of a certain Jagaru captain who’d had trouble in the capital. She paid him handsomely to accompany me, all in the guise of the Jagaru. That way, it would not alert the capital to her plans or your location.”
“Druvna knew I was—well, different?”
“Archon Kine ensures people only know what is required to perform her directives. Druvna knew I was from Val’Enara, but little else.”
“But did he know about me? Know what I am?”
“Only that you are an immensely important magical being. I don’t think he knew you were Nixan.”
There. Aldewin said it. The ugly-sounding word was out in the open. There’s no need to tiptoe around it anymore, at least not with him.
“But you knew. Before you even met me, you knew.”
He nodded.
The implications made her head hurt. The moments and details of their journey together eddied. He’d lied to her from the start. Along with Druvna, they acted out the charade of hunting the dragon. They were never pursuing Vahgrin. They’d always planned to end up at Val’Enara. Inevitably, they’d break her out of Qülla, but not because they had affection toward her. They merely retrieved valuable cargo to fulfill oaths and contracts. I was merely a commodity to transport.
Silent tears streamed down her face. Like a seed husk empty and desiccated by Juka’s hot breath, Quen was bereft. She had thought she’d found friends—a family. Even a lover. The memory of Aldewin lying atop her, telling her she was lovely.
“That night, in Juinar.”
He averted her gaze and studied the horizon.
Quen gently tugged his face, so he had to look at her. She wanted to see his eyes, to gauge whether his next words were truth or lies. “You played at affection with me for weeks. You said loving words. Were those words lies too?”
“What I told you—” His pale blue-grey eyes softened. “I spoke the truth.” He swept the hair from her eye. “The truest thing I’ve ever said.”
Heat radiated from him. His pupils dilated, and his eyes glistened. His full lips parted, and his jaw tensed. Quen detected how his odor changed simply from remembering the night in Juinar. This ability to sense a change in one’s odor, evidencing fear or passion, was a new ability courtesy of her Nixan soul. I’m becoming more animal each day. It was an unwelcome change.
But she had her answer. Aldewin’s affections were genuine. She didn’t want that to make her heart soar, but it did.
“You can feel affection for a creature such as myself?”
Aldewin bent closer. He took one of her hands, opened it so it was palm up, and traced the paths and lines of her skin. “We are all creatures with hidden compartments. Where I come from, secrets and lies are common, but the truth rare.” He zigzagged across her palm with his finger. “I escaped that life and found purpose at Val’Enara.” He stopped and gazed into her eyes. “Then I met you, and I’ve been unmoored ever since.” He cast his gaze downward.
“Are you ashamed to have feelings for someone like me?”
He looked like she’d smacked him in the face with a pan. “Ashamed? Gods, no.” He rubbed a hand through his newly cut hair. “Oaths have bound me since my childhood. And I’ve never gone back on my word. Never.” Tears welled in his eyes. “And now, my heart has pulled me in a direction….” He stood and paced. “I find myself questioning.”
“The Archon?”
He threw his hands in the air. “Everything!” He rubbed his neck and chuckled. “By the Three, I sound like a novice Rising in his first week at the Pillar.”
“Pahpi always said only people lacking the power to mind their way spoke oaths.”
Aldewin stopped pacing, and his eyes grew wide. “Suda, Quen, that’s exactly what I’ve been thinking lately.” He laughed. “Your da sounds like a wise old Kensai. I wish I’d known him.”
His words brought her grief to the fore. It felt like years since she’d seen her father’s sun-weathered face, heard his hearty laugh, or listened over evening meal as he tried to bend Rhoji to his way of thinking. Pahpi’s light had been extinguished from her world. It created a hole in her soul as raw and festering as the day Vahgrin took him from her. Her tears were silent. Her grief was like the gaping, icy void of Vay’Nada. It crept like a bandit and pilfered the last vestiges of her joy.
“I’m sorry.” Aldewin took her hand in his. They sat quietly until her tunic was wet with tears.
The long cry of grief was overdue. Cathartic beyond what she’d expected, the tears dried of their own accord. A few long, heaving breaths and thoughts of her loss diminished and morphed into anxiety about her future. Aldewin had hit her with new information and a decision about her path.
“You said earlier that Archon Kine knew I was Nixan. Tasked you with bringing me to Val’Enara?”
Aldewin nodded.
Quen’s gut seized in a knot just thinking about the question. “Do you know what she plans for me?” She wasn’t sure she wanted the answer.
He shook his head. “Getting you out of Qülla? Easy decision. Nothing good would come from you being under Xa’Vatra’s thumb. But Archon Kine?” He rubbed the stubble on his chin. “She’s never shown me anything but kindness. She intervened when Prelate Hrabke wanted to deny my entry. Kine permitted me to study at Val’Enara, even though I exhibited little aptitude for Vaya d’Enara.”
That was puzzling to Quen. I thought Val’Enara rarely accepted people without natural Menaris ability. “Why would she do that?”
Aldewin shrugged. “She gave me a chance, and for that, I’ve always felt—”
“Indebted.”
There was the hit-in-the-face-with-a-pan look again. “I was going to say grateful, but indebted applies.”
Aldewin didn’t know Kine’s plans for Quen, so there was nothing more about Kine to discuss. She could ask him what his intuition told him, but from the look about him, she feared she’d just shoved a hammer into the wheel spoke of his mind.
“I’m sorry I can’t provide all the answers to your questions. I’m a tiny beetle caught in the great web spun by the Archons and the Exalted. They’re always spinning, Quen.” He flopped down with a thud, and his mood soured. “Like a fat, juicy bug wrapped in spider silk, snared and waiting for them to suck the life force from me.”
Quen laughed and playfully kicked at his leg. “A bit dramatic, hey, Aldewin? Were you a mummer in your former life in Tinox?”
He laughed as well. “No, but maybe I should have been.” He picked up a pebble and tossed it. “What now?”
